I didn't know what I was doing here.

I shouldn't have been. No, I wasn't emotionally ready to be in a ten mile radius of the area I was standing in now.

But I was.

My heart was beating erratically and my hair was pulled back in a French braid. I was wearing an old pair of jeans that were torn up and extremely comfortable, and a bright blue T-shirt in the hue that my mother always told me brought out my eyes. Cole was crying in my arms, while I relentlessly trying to calm him down. I felt guilty every time I looked at him, knowing it was my fault he'd never grow up with a father.

I pressed the doorbell and waited anxiously. I suddenly wished I had taken the time to put on some make-up. My eyes were permanently red it seemed and I was so pale that I could have painted on a whole container of blush and only looked a little flushed. But the fact was, I just didn't care enough to.

I heard footsteps and people talking before the door opened.

Alana's stone face appeared and Lana stuck her head out beside her.

I had gotten twenty-one messages from them. They wanted to talk to me. Apparently Jake had come by and told them. I wasn't sure what they told him though, and that scared me. I felt so vulnerable as they stared at me. They knew I was a loser that wasn't good enough for their son. They knew.

Lana took my hand and I smiled at her softly. She dragged me (literally) into the perfect living room where Jim was already seated calmly with a newspaper and a cup of tea or coffee (I couldn't tell for sure what it was). Lana led me over to the couch where I awkwardly sat down while still trying to calm Cole down. He didn't like the panic vibes I was emitting.

"May I?" Alana asked motioning to Cole. I nodded and she took him in her arms, trying with no prevail to do the task I couldn't.

In the movies when the two main characters break up, they don't see each other for like a year. Then, magically, they meet up at a New Years party and realize they are still in love with each other and need to get back together. They always have found closure and reassurance before they see their former lover again, and every time they see them the two get back together.

My life is not a movie. For some reason, things always seem to be the hardest for me.

It had been exactly three weeks, three days, and six hours since I'd seen Jake's face.

Not that I was counting or anything, though.

But it didn't come as a relief at all when I saw him leaning against the frame of the kitchen, cup of tea coffee in his hand like his dad. His hair was longer, his clothes looked freshly laundered, and over all he looked fine just fine. I knew I wasn't, though. I tried to look it, but I don't think I was doing such a very good job.

I brought my legs up to my chest and hugged them to me, looking anywhere but Jake. It hurt so bad to see him and think of the strangers we'd become in such a short amount of time.

I should have known he'd be here. I knew what Alana and Jim wanted to discuss: Cole.

Jake wasn't getting my baby. I don't care what he says or ANY of them say. He is MY baby and I love him. He's the only thing I have. They can't take that from me.

But as Alana handed Cole to Jake, and Cole calmed down and stopped crying, I knew they were going to fight. I felt a sharp panic in my stomach when I realized they might even take it to court. I didn't want our breakup to get out to the tabloids. If anything made me sick, it was the idea of being another Hollywood breakup drama. It would be increasingly insulting for our story to be just another version of the Hilary Duff and Joel Madden breakup mixed with the Nicole Richie and Joel Madden wedding and pregnancy and if the court thing broke out, we'd be (shamefully) associated with Kevin Federline and Brittney Spears's fight over their kids.

"I think Jake's a fat ass," Lana broke the silence, glaring at her brother so venomously that for a second I feared her. Seventy pounds of pure fury!

Alana gasped and Jim raised his eyebrows and lowered his newspaper in a what-did-you-just-say-little-missy kind of way.

"Lana," Alana scolded, "we don't talk that way in this house!"

She glared again and shrugged, "It's true. Next time I'll just go outside the house and say it. I can't believe your taking his side," she said he like she was addressing Satan.

I had never loved my sister in law more then that moment. She believed he was wrong and I was right. She was willing to stand up for me. I threw a grateful look in her direction.

"Lana, go to your room." Jim said. She crossed her arms,

"No way! I'm not letting you eat her alive!"

"She doesn't need an eight year old to protect her," Jake called from the kitchen doorway. I kept my eyes on the decorative carpet and counted the different colors. One, two, three, four, five, six—

"Yea, she does, because you sure as hell didn't do it at all!" Lana called, jumping up and revealing her 4 foot 2 inches of power. She was amazing me in every way possible. She was acting older then she was for one, but for two she didn't even really know me that well. And here she was yelling at her parents and brother for me. Jake flushed with anger at her words and started across the room at her.

"Jake." Jim said in a deadly voice, "I want you to come in here and sit down. Lana, either take a seat and be quiet or go upstairs."

They both scowled before doing what he said. As Jake walked across the large living room, I prayed he wouldn't sit on the couch. I've never wanted something to strongly before. But before he could, Lana jumped up from the chair and slid in the space right beside me so even if he did it wouldn't be so bad.

He sat down in the chair.

Jake was still rocking Cole and I wished I could speak up. But I'd never felt so trapped in my life. I felt like I was in the war and it was me against a whole army with only one ally on my side that was controllable by the foe. I felt like my voice was gone, and all I could do was keep my face down so none of them could see how bad I had taken this.

"Well, now, I suppose we should get down to business. Shall we?" Alana asked us. Lana growled beside me and crossed her arms across her chest. You know something bad is coming when an eight-year-old is informed about it. That means it's something that is going to affect her life also.

I looked at these people and I couldn't remember the time they'd been my family. They were the enemy now; intent on screwing me over. Exclude Lana from that statement, though.

"What's the capital of Connecticut?" Jim suddenly asked me. I forced myself to look up at them. I pretended not to notice the looks of pity.

"Hartford," I whispered. My voice was scratchy and it felt strange to use it. I felt like I really was invisible to my own decision here. They were talking about me, but I couldn't agree or disagree.

"Now that we've asked strange questions," Alana shot a look at Jim, "let us get to the reason we're all here today."

"What? I needed it for my crossword!" Jim defended.

Alana peered at me before saying softly and gently to me as if I might break, "You're still seventeen, aren't you dear?"

I hated her right then. I hated her for turning on me. I hated her for making me feel pathetic. I hated her for what she was going to try and do. I hated her for not helping me. I hated her for making me come here today. I hated her for acting like she'd never been like a mother to me.

You really see someone's true colors when something like this happens.

"Yes," I replied, "but I'll be eighteen on the twenty-third of November."

She nodded slowly and opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't seem to get it out. Jim helped her out,

"What about New York?"

"Albany." I replied.

He looked interested and said, "Really? No wonder New York City wouldn't fit." He smiled at me before going back to the paper.

That's when I realized where his loyalties lied. He was on my side, I could tell by the way he was acting, but I think he was afraid to defy Alana. Coward.

"Right, well, we all need to talk." Alana said again, trying to start the conversation.

Jake said something from the corner I couldn't hear, but I just dug my fingernails into my arm and shut my eyes. I didn't want to be here. This is the last place on earth I'd ever want to be right now.

"Go ahead," I said to her.

I thought of how ashamed Oliver and Lilly would be of me if they saw me now.

Ever since Oliver stormed out, he'd only kept in touch by text, email, or instant message. He wouldn't do anything that involved him seeing or hearing me. Although I had a strong feeling he was double O from Malibu that kept calling in and requesting Hannah songs on the radio.

I found it strangely comforting every time I checked my email (which I did frequently…more then I'll ever admit to anyone) and saw a message from him. It filled me with warmth from my head to my toes to think that Oliver cared enough about me to have ongoing conversations over email with me all day. It gave me something to look forward too; something to make me actually want to get up again.

And just as I started feeling a little better, I'm here. Oliver had tried to persuade me to not go, but I couldn't just not show up. Because then they'd show up there and that's the last thing I wanted.

If Oliver was here now, he'd tell me to stick up for myself and have some pride. I thought of him as I forced myself to sit up straight and hold my head high. My mother always told me a little confidence made a whole lot of a difference in situations.

Alana seemed a little intimidated for a moment, when I suddenly showed I was surer of myself. I could see her in high school. She was the girl who was your best friend then bashed you behind your back relentlessly until you showed her up for being a bitch.

"Well," she started looking between Jake and I, "I have to say I was very surprised when Jake told us what happened."

I stared at her and said evenly, "And what was that?"

She glanced at Jake quickly as if to make sure she was supposed to answer this truthfully.

"Well, that you both decided you weren't in love anymore."

I felt like someone had just punched me in the gut. We decided that? No, the hell we did! WE didn't decide shit! HE decided that HE didn't love me.

"He told you that?" I asked, trying to stay calm, but you could hear my pain in every syllable. I stole a glance at Jake. He was staring right at me with a hard look. He was a monster.

"Yes, that's what I said." She said.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I could tell them all the things he said to me. I could hurt him as much as he hurt me, but I wasn't sure I'd stoop that low. But when I saw him glare at Lana, I felt such anger in me. The anger I knew I should have felt a long time ago. I stared at the expensive clock on the wall and directed my attention to Jake.

This was my moment. I could say what was hurting me. I could maybe make him feel as hurt as me. But my mouth was dry and I couldn't form the words. He stared at me, waiting. I HATED his emotionless stare. HATED it.

I looked back at Alana, "I'm sorry, but I think I remember something slightly different then that happening."

She looked at Jake in confusion, but I didn't even want to know what he said. I was already feeling sick.

"What happened?" She asked me.

I could do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to so bad. But I couldn't. I couldn't.

"That's not important," I found myself saying, "I think we both know why you have me here."

"No," she said, "I think it is important and I would like to know."

It seemed all the Ryan's except Jim and Lana were severely two-faced and capable of turning on you without batting an eyelash.

I studied her perfect skin, blue eyes, and light blond hair.

"I don't think you do." I said.

"Yes I do."

"Why don't you just ask Jake?" I asked, turning to him. I was a strong woman. I could do this. I could. I knew I had to if I wanted to keep my baby. I never expected myself to EVER have to face him this soon.

I connected my eyes with him. His face was like stone, "Go on Jake," I said to him, feeling the pain of talking to him again, "Lie to my face. Go on; SHOW ME how big of a liar you really are!" I took a deep breath and looked at Cole looking perfectly content with his father. He couldn't have him!

"Come on; tell them that you told me, that it was all an act! Tell them that you were just playing house with me. Be a man; tell them EXACTLY what you told them! Tell them how you never loved me, Come on, do it!" I was screaming at him. He wasn't looking me in the eyes anymore. He looked over at his parents and said the words that broke whatever might have been left of my heart:

"I honestly don't know what she's talking about."

I let out a bitter laugh and shook my head before turning away from them.

"I knew something else had happened," Lana whispered to me, "I knew his story didn't fit."

"What is the realstory?" Jim asked, looking mad, "I want the truth. Jake?"

Jake glanced at me. Cole babbled and looked at me. He started whining and crying. I took a deep breath and forced myself to stand up. I walked over to where they were and Cole moved his arms toward me. For a moment, Jake and I's eyes connected and he looked different, almost like my Jake. But as I gently removed Cole from his arms and sat back down, they hardened again.

Cole babbled happily in my arms and played with my hand. I smiled down at him and kissed his cheek.

"The real story is…" he stopped again and I wondered if maybe he'd tell the truth, "it's…" he looked again at me and I had the feeling he was looking straight through me, "what I told you before."

Jim turned to me, "Is he telling the truth?" he asked me.

I wanted to cry. What had happened to us!? What had happened!? We were enemies! Enemies testifying against the others, and I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to.

"No comment," I whispered. They were all surprised,

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not testifying against him as if he's a criminal," I said, "and frankly, I'm not going to waste breath and get upset telling you a story you're not even going to believe, because I know no matter what I say you'll believe Jake." I aimed that one at Alana.

"That's not fair!" She interjected.

"Yes, it is." I replied, not wanting to fight this anymore.

"So, what's it going to be?" Jim asked.

"What?"

"Cole. What's going to happen him? The house, what about that? All the stuff? Divorce papers? The whole shebang."

I closed my eyes and suddenly felt so tired. So tired of everything. Of putting up with all this crap and thinking they're be sun tomorrow, and then I'm faced with another hurricane.

"I don't think you have the resources to take care of him," Alana said to me.

Was she freaking serious?! She BETTER not be! I'm Hannah freaking Montana!!

"Jake isn't the only one with money," I snapped, "I've got just as much as he does." If not more.

"Are you emotionally ready to do this alone?" She asked.

"I've been doing it, haven't I?"

"How do I know you're doing it well?"

There is something's you learn in life about mothers. One is that you NEVER criticize the way they raise their babies. NEVER.

"You think Jake will do better?" I asked her, feeling furious.

"Well, Ye—

"I'm not the one who abandoned Cole." I exclaimed, "But yet the one who did is suddenly the fit parent?"

"I didn't abandon him!" Jake defended from the corner.

"Bull shit!" I yelled.

"Language!" Alana scolded.

"Well do you feel you're…mentally ready for this job?" She asked.

She. Did. Not. Just. Go. There. Oh, no. No, no, no.

"I'm plenty mentally stable."

"What about the nightmares?" She asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I think a mother that has nightmares is better equipped to take care of a baby that stays up all night then a father that has a dangerous bout of bipolarity." I replied sharply.

"I'm not bipolar," Jake grumbled from the corner then.

I turned sharply to him, "Okay then, a father with multiple personality disorder. One minute you'll love him then decide it was just an act and the real you won't enjoy him."

"Don't talk to him like that!" Alana defended her son.

"Alana," Jim said, "I think they both need to calm down, not just Miley."

Coward.

"Why should you get Cole?" Alana asked, "tell me why."

"Because he's my baby—

"He's Jake's too," She cut me off. I ignored her,

"—because he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Because he's my son. Because I love him."

"All those reasons apply to Jake too," Alana said stiffly.

My eyes flashed, "Okay, how would you feel if you had a baby now and you and Jim broke up and he wanted to take away your baby? How would you feel?"

She didn't answer.

I was losing it, I could feel myself slipping.

"I just think Jake should have Cole," She said, "I don't want Cole to get hurt."

"From what?" I yelled.

"From having a mother that's incapable of taking care of him!"

"Ugh!" I cried.

"You know, it's not nice to hurt people," She said, looking insulted at my attitude. Oh so now she was going to preach to me about hurt? She had NO idea.

"You think that's pain?" I asked her.

She raised her eyebrows.

I stared at them all, knowing I was done with it all.

"You don't know what pain is." The words were so harsh and raw coming out of my mouth that everyone fell silent.

I stood up.

"No, come on, why don't you tell us what pain is?" she said.

"Why don't you tell me what you think it is?" I shot back.

"Pain is when you get hurt," She replied. I laughed a sarcastic laugh and switched Cole to my other arm before walking towards the door,

"No, Mrs. Ryan, I'm afraid that's a pretty narrow, elementary school definition. Pain, real pain, is the kind that makes it hurt to even breathe. So don't act like I'm being a dramatic bitch and I'm the one to blame. Don't act like I won't care if Cole is taken from me, because you have NO IDEA. One day if you wake up and realize that you've not lived a day without pain in it in a long time, then maybe you can act like this to me. But not now, because frankly, I am about sick of it. I've had so much shit happen to me, and when I'm finally healing, this damn crap happens. Cole is all I have, and you can't have him. Get it? Got it? Holy freaking great."

I opened the door, but before I could leave, Jake's voice stopped me,

"You can't talk to them like that!" he rose from his seat.

Tears were at the edges of my eyes. Before I could reply I felt and arm on my shoulder. I turned around to be face to face with Oliver.

Oh no.

"What's going on here?" He asked, stepping in front of me to protect me from the big evil Jake.

Right then, I viewed Oliver as an Angel.

He looked at all of us. No one said anything. Then Lana stood up and exclaimed,

"Jake told my mom and dad he and Miley both decided they weren't in love, and they brought Miley here and tried to convince her to give Cole over to Jake because they think she's mentally unstable or something and she won't let them because Cole is her baby and she's sick of all the damn crap that keeps happening to her."

In any other situation, that would have been hysterical.

Oliver raised his eyebrows at all of them. He turned to me,

"Come on, Miley. Don't let them get to you. Let's go."

Once again, Jake stopped us.

"You can't just leave! He's my kid too!"

Oliver's jaw was set and he looked furious. This wasn't good.

He spun around and jabbed a finger into Jake's chest,

"You shut the hell up! You've already fucking taken everything away from her and hurt her, now you want to take away her baby too!? God! Damn it, can't you people just leave her alone! Just leave her the hell alone for God's sake! Is it a game for you? Let's see how bad we can kick Miley until she kills herself? Well I don't like that game! And if you don't leave her alone, I will beat your ass until you can't remember your own name, bastard!"

Jake looked really affected by Oliver's words. He pushed him.

"You don't even understand! That's not how it happened, man! You don't get it!" Jake cried.

"What don't I get? Come on, tell me! I know what I get, that you have used her and now that you're done, you're throwing her away and taking everything from her! She's already freaking lost her mother, her best friend disappeared, as did her brother and father, she got a damn rapist murderer person stalking her, and now you do this!" Oliver shoved Jake back.

"I don't—

Oliver cut Jake off, "That's just god damn wonderful, faggot. So when something happens to her because you hurt her so bad, I hope you lay awake all night. I hope you see her face everywhere and remember that YOU are a murderer. I hope the guilt kills you."

Jake just turned around and walked away from us. I was shaking. Oliver pulled me to him and said,

"Come on, let's go." Cole was crying now, not liking the screaming.

I couldn't help but think that if this had played out like a movie, I would have been prepared to see him again. My life wouldn't be so choppy and horrible. Maybe, if I had seen him later, I'd be able to stand up for myself. I didn't know why Oliver followed, but I was glad he had.

I couldn't do things on my own.

"I was thinking before," Oliver said with anger still in his voice as he waited for me to finish strapping Cole into his car seat, "that maybe Luke had made Jake break up with you. Because it fit you know? I thought he loved you, and with everyone disappearing it would just fit. But after seeing that, I know he's just a horrible person."

"I never thought that," I told him, "because I saw him when we fought. He'd get like that. And I always remember thinking "who is this? This isn't my Jake" and then when he broke up with me, he had said that was the real him. And that "my Jake" was his act. I wished I had noticed it sooner."

He just hugged me before saying, "Don't worry. You'll get through this."

A/n: Why don't you celebrate the fact that you're carpal tunnel free and leave by a review? It'd make my day :)