Pre-AN/AR: Royslady51: I honestly hadn't noticed! Teaches me to not proof read… *mutters to self broodingly about evil ffnet.* And prank ideas? I'd love them. I'm not a prankster. At all. I can imagine funny things to pull on people, but PLAUSIBLE things to pull on people? *whistles innocently.* Goose Eggs there.

"Hem, Hem.

"Now, perhaps some of you may have been wondering just how the great, good, and all-around-and-a-bouts righteous paragon of all that is Light could be so cynical, sadistic, cruel, and generally… mean.

"Now, this is a perfectly valid question, that, as such-and-such, deserves a perfectly validly suitable answer.

"….

"Oh! You're actually wanting that answer? Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt. You are only the Reader after all. You see, there are many, many, many, many different dimensions, realms, existences, etcetera, all in out little universe. Shockling, right, I know? Not really? I expected as much.

"You see, the 'canon' dimension, created, sold, published, yadda yadda, by J.K. Rowling, was the essential 'Classic Heroe' version of the realm. In this one, wel, I can't tell you if the Heroe wins or not, can I? Humnph… Where was I? Ah, yes, thank you, Cloudsie. Oh, sorry, Mercy. You are twins after all, don't castrate me! And stop the death glares!

"Hem, Hem,

"Any way, In this universe, rather than Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore becoming humbled and… let us face it: having a low self worth to rival Harry's own, this version of Dumbledore, - for it is the same man, after all, but with critical choices and actiopns being ever so slightly altered, different - this Dumbledore, he chose to be better. He still didn't trust himself with power. Much. But he chose a different course of action. Our dear Albus instead chose to become better, eventually leading him to believe that he was bettering himself. Then came the thought, unbidden, that he could be even better. He worked at it, and then came the next unbidden thought: he already was. Already was better. And then came a certain… power-loving aspect to his nature? After all, power was and is every incarnation of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore's real weakness.

"This power-loving aspect was Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore's Fatal Flaw, and acted as such. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore began to think himself above others, better. Soon it came to pass that he was a Grand Chess Master with the lives of the Wizarding World. He was, after all, the GREAT Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. He thought he was better, and controlled people's lives. Now, a part of im, the part of him that made the choice that eventually led to all of this, knew it was wrong, and cried out against it, but the larger, now more arrogant part of him was quite adept at muting it's better half. The Choices made by this Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore led him to fear an end of his reign. So, when he met the obviously brilliant young Tom Riddle, he regarded him as a threat, and treated him coldly. That is what, in this universe, made the would-have-been-Good young Parselmouth turn Dark.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore's fear for his reign were only furthered by this, so, when there came along a prophecy about a boy being able to defeat the Dark Lord, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore jumed, nay, leaped at the chance to control this weapon. Now, as I know from certain irritating persons in my life, Chess Masters simply loathe to have their perfect plans ruined, or an any way not exactly as they wished them. Small infractions were manageable, but a completely different boy? Oh, no. No, this would not do at all. At all. Harcourt Addams would be far too hard to manipulte correctly. Thus, as such a powerful child, to make him be subservient to him, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, and the Light, led by him, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, more plans just simply must be made!

"Now, while it is realised that some of you may not like this, you are being ignored in favour of continuing on with this story. Good day to you."

.

Wednesday shot Harry a sidelong glance. "Was that an Oompa Loompa stepping down from a soap box?"

"Really? Was it? I thought it was an orange crate."

Wednesday just shrugged and went back to 'The Joys of Thumbscrews: Volume XXXVI Edition XXVII WARNING: Master's Use ONLY.'

.

Susan glared at Wednesday. Bloody effing Morning People.

Harry noticed her glare, and who it was directed at and leaned down to whisper in her ear as he got up from the breakfast table, "A.) Work on your glares, Suz, and B.) The only way to deal with Morning Peoople is a Silencing Charm. I do not suggest casting one on Wednesday."

"Why?"

Harry gave her a blank, and completely and utterly serious look. "Because, Wednesday is a lucky duck that is magically indifferent to any hexes, curses, charms, transfigurations, etcetera, that her core doesn't recognise as being cast by her, and feels threatened, or just irritated, by. It's an Addams Family trait, but it's magnified over tenfold in her. Pugsley has a variation of the talent, but it's more geared toward electricity than anything else. Fire, too. Of course, it could just be a side-effect of all the time he spends in the electric chair, and blowing things up with Uncle Feser. Anywho... If anything, she'll get louder, just to annoy you. Makes ya feel special, doesn't it?"

Susan blinked. Then she muttered, putting her head in her folded arms on the table, "You Addamses' get all the bloody luck."

Harry grinned cheekily at her, then tapped his perky (for Wednesday in a non-Cola way) sister on the shoulder. She looked up from her chattering with Neville. "Sis, do you want to keep on researching, or should I do it on my own now, sniff, sniff?" He wiped away a fake tear, looking between her and Neville, who blushed a funny red colour.s

Wednesday rolled her eyes. "As if, little brother. You'd ruin everything."

"And have fun doing it!"

"You're insufferable," she bemoaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Bye 'Ville, bye Susan, bye Hannah!"

As they made their way to the Library, Ishmael trailing behind them, Harry muttered just loud enough for his twin to hear, "So you and Neville, huh? Ooh, mwa-mwa-mwa!"

Wednesday glared at him. "Shut it, scar face. I know a certain red head that you fancy." When Harry's smirk didn't vanish, Wednesday just rolled her eyes. Then stamped on his foot, flipped him over her shoulder, brushed off her skirt, and walked to the Library as if nothing had happened.

Thank Auntie Ophelia for those judo lessons.

.

Harry, Wednesday, Neville, Susan, and Hannah watched the surveillance ainting screen as the Slytherib they had hired short sheeted Draco Malfoy's bed, and put peree'd poison ivy in the crease. Now just to wait fot the little Prince himself to go to sleep.

.

Draco wasn't at lunch. Or breakfast. Or dinner. Or in classes. Whyever not?

.

"Ishmael! Come. Ishmael! BAD DOGGY!" Neville yelled as he ran after the dog. Wednesday had asked him to bathe the bloody beast, and in the middle of the bath it just ran off. When Neville finally caught up with Ishmael, he was clawing to the door of the third floor corridor. "Oh no," Neville said, "oh no. No way. Come on, doggie. I am not opening that door."

He grabbed the little Cerberus by the collar and started walking him away.

There was the sound of a door creaking open.

Ishmael twisted from Neville's grasp and made for the forbidden corridor. Neville followed to get him, and then backed slowly away from the door.

"WEEEEDNESSSSSDAAAAAAAY!" He hollered through the halls.

There were two Cerberus' at Hogwarts.

You didn't expect Quirell to not get punished, did you? Silly man, working for Voldemort. The Addamses will go after him, heh, heh, heehhh...

Mercy.