A Bond of Friendship.

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult, or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Twenty Six: Reconsidering

MELODY:

Once I started to think about the possibility that I was, or could even be, a hypocrite to some extent I had to wonder how I could have turned from what I thought I was, into something that I despised in myself and others. Had I always been like this, and didn't know it, or did I truly accept other people and their lifestyles as I said that I did, and if I truly wasn't prejudiced why had I reacted to Rama's family in the way that I had? It seemed some how, some where, along the line I could not follow my own beliefs and accept others as they were. I was unable to practice what I preached.

I had more questions then answers, and no real way to solve it. But as days passed, and I turned the thoughts over in mind, even while I was at work I would reflect on the dilemma, and I came to the realization that Rama and her family were far more human then I had given them credit for.

No wonder the only human of the family had defended them strongly against my accusations. Different as they looked it was clear that they could have children with humans. I knew it was entirely impossible for two different species to produce offspring. A dog and wolf could mate and have pups but they were members of the same family. Though a horse and a donkey could produce young their off spring was infertile even though both members were equines. Perhaps the turtle's children would be just as infertile. But there is no way a dog would ever mate with a cat, and even if it did happen there would be no off spring.

Did that mean something had changed in the turtles enough to make them almost compatible with humans, almost if only because Rama and her cousins might not be capable of having children of their own.

I shook my head, I might have more questions then answers but I knew enough to know I had made some horrible mistakes by acting so impulsivley.

Knowing that I had to rethink some other things like would I want Jessie playing with Rama? Could I trust her family not to hurt Jessie?

I knew Rama alone had done a great deal of good for my son. Jessie had seemed happy with her, and talked more. Way more then what he was doing recently that was for sure. I suppose the largest threat to Jessie would actually come from the turtle's enemies.

I highly doubted that Rama would be permitted to come play above, and knowing how quickly the two children had gotten lost in the sewer not to mention the danger, and hazards of being in such an unsanitary area was not exactly something that I could ever permit.

Images of the turtles home flashed through my mind, it had been clean, dry, and there was no offensive odours, in spite of how close they lived to the sludge and grime of the sewer, in fact it was quite literally on their door step. That had to be an amazing feat in and of itself. I had to wonder how they managed to accomplish some thing like that, yes I recalled incense and candles burning, and while that might cover some foul odours I doubt it would do everything to cover all of it.

There home was no worse off really then my own apartment, and in many ways very similar, including battered furniture that had seen better days. But their home also had the indoor playground and a gym full of weapons, not exactly standard fare in a home. I really wouldn't want Jessie handling weapons, but other then that I could almost be willing to let him go, willing except for the fact that I had no way of trying to apologise to Rama's family and the fact of the turtle's enemies.

The more Jessie hung out with Rama, the more chance there was of the enemies hurting him, using him as a bait, and I didn't see any way around that.

While I couldn't make amends with Rama and her family I could at least make peace with my own son. Perhaps some how some way, later on, I could come up with some way to talk to Rama's family.

I knocked on Jessie's door, he'd been spending most his time in his room, playing video games. I entered, " Jessie you and I need to talk."

He was sprawled on his bed reading a comic book he looked up and scowled at me, not speaking, but at least he sat the comic aside and gave me a weary look that I could only interpet as ' Say your piece and get it over with.'

I kneeled down by the bed to look him in his eyes " Jessie, you have been very angry me, and you have a right to be. Rama was the first real friend you ever had." I sighed and shook my head, " I don't know why I reacted to Rama and her family the way I did but I should never have treated them that badly, they didn't deserve it, and they took what I said in a better way then many people would have," I confessed, " What I did was uncalled for and wrong."

" M...mmmm...Mi..Mike sa...sa..said it was a fff..fe..fear and ha...hate from de..dee..deep inside." Jessie stated, it was the most I'd heard him say in over three weeks time.

" He is right. it is that and so much more. I guess I was afraid of them, because they do look so different from most people, an I was all reay scared and worried about you. Whatever it was Jessie I was wrong to act the way I did toward them."

"D...ddd..do..does th..tht...that mmmm...mmm...mean I can pppp...pl...play with Rrrr...Rama?" Jessie pounced, his face brightening as he spoke and the way he stumbled over the words as he tried in a hurry to get the words out. " M...mmmm...Mike sa...said he di...did..didn't mind."

"Jessie I...I don't think it is all that safe for you to play in the sewers. You and Rama both got lost in them, not to mention it isn't a safe or clean place to play. Then there is those other ninjas..."

" Yo...you...Your ju...ju...jussss...just ma...making excuses." Jessie snorted as he crossed his arms over his chest, " Ra...Ra...Rama's home is sa...safe and it ha...has the nnn..neat p...pp...play ground t..t.tt.too."Jessie pointed out, determined to get his own way now that I had seemed to slide, or cave into him.

" Jessie, those other ninja took you and hurt you. I can't just ignore that they are or can be a danger to you." I insisted firmly.

" Rrrr...Rammm...Rama is mmmm...my...my only friend mmm...mom."

" I'm aware of that Jessie but I don't want to put you in danger just so you can have a friend to play with."

Jessie scowled, " Th...there's ggg..go..got to bbbb...be some wa...wa..way I can pl...pl...play wi...with Rama aaa...an..and not gg..ge..get hu...hurt. Bet Rammm...Rama's fa...fa..family w..ww..wo..would know."

" In other words you are pushing me into going into the sewers and finding their home?" I wondered, " I doubt that I can even remember where it is." This was no lie, I'd been so frazzled, angry and upset at the point I wasn't really paying much attention.

" I...I kn...know I wa..wa..watched ka..ka carefully when Lll...Leo brought us bbbb...back." Jessie replied smugly.

I didn't know if he really knew or just thought he did.

" I doubt they'd welcome me with open arms Jessie, not after the way I acted." I pointed out.

" Yo..you ought to ggg..go apo...apol...appol aw ssss.s...say ssss...sorr...sorry mom." Jessie insisted. " Th...tht...that's www...whw...what you'd wwww...what yo...you'd want ot...others to do if it wwww...wee...were me."

" If they even give me a chance to apologise before they run me through with a weapon," I grumbled under my breath. I looked at his expectant face, and I knew he was right an apology was owed, at the very least, though I had no idea if they would accept it or not. But at least if I tried no one could hold it against me. "All right Jessie next day off I have we'll go see about finding their place and try to see if we can patch things up after my stupidity."

" Th...thanks mom" Jessie gave a wide smile, the first real smile I'd seen on his face in weeks.

It made me feel a little better, just seeing him brighten up and hear him talk so much, and yet I had to admit I was pretty nervous about the whole aspect of going back in the sewers and facing Rama's family as I tried to make things up to them. After the way I had treated them the most I could hope for was that they'd slam the door in my face after telling me they didn't want the likes of me hanging around them. But I owed it to my son. I owed it to myself and most importantly I owed it to them.

I knew it was right to try and correct this error, even if I was still uncomfortable about Jessie being with Rama due to those other ninja.

That anxiety did not ease up until the day we headed out. On that day I was so nervous I really wanted to change my mind. I kept thinking of all the awful things I had said, and the things Rama's family might say or do to me for daring to show my face near their home again I envisioned all the torture these beings could do just for pay back purposes alone. We headed down into the sewer by way of the alley where I had first met Rama, for some reason the manhole lid didn't fit properly.

Jessie headed off, and I was sure he was going get us both lost in the dark caverns down here, I was about to insist that we head back when he stopped in his tracks and stared slack jawed at an opening in one tunnel.

"Th...the ddd..ddd..ddooo...door is mis...misss...missing." He declared dejectedly.

" Are you sure this is even the right spot Jessie?"

He only nodded and headed towards the space. I followed after him sure, that he had probably gotten mixed up. He thought he had known the way but had taken a left instead of a right, there was nothing in these tunnels to say anyone had been here.

" Sorry Jessie but if anyone has been here in the past they aren't here now." I said, " Maybe you made a wrong turn."

Jessie shook his head, a pained dejected look on his face as he scrambled around some of the pipes as if frantically looking for a sign, something, anything to prove this was the spot. His friend had been here, that the turtles and Rama herself existed. I sighed ready to call him back, when I heard him calling.

" K...kkk...Come look" he yelled from somewhere his words echoing.

It took me a minute or two to track him down, when I did find him he was pointing to the concrete wall, that was marked with lines and neat writing. As I got closer I realized it was a growth chart for the name Rama age six months up to six and a half was clearly marked as regular as clock work.

Jessie hadn't been wrong this had indeed been the turtle's home but the place was empty, barren and cold as if no one had ever been here at any time.

" Ram...Rama's gggg...ggo..gone" Jessie moaned sounding close to tears.

I guess he had his hopes set on seeing his friend again, and now realized that he might never see her. " I'm sorry Jessie I guess they moved somewhere else. C'mon let's go home."i urged.

" Wh...wh...what if th...th...the Foot got th...them?" Jessie snapped stubbornly.

" Their enemies might be interested in them. But I don't think thier enemies would bother cleaning out all the belongings out. No, I think they moved and I don't think they'll be coming back, because there is nothing to come back for." I realized that moving was probably to keep themselves safe for anyone who might have come looking for something strange or out of the ordinary in the area. Rama's family was smart enough to know I might have reported them to someone and they weren't going hang around. Not only that if I had managed to bring anyone down here I'd be bringing them to a place that looked empty, like it hadn't been used.

Together we went home, but I knew even as we headed back that Jessie was very upset and angry, all he said on the way home was that it was my fault, that if I had only tolerated Rama, then he would still have his friend.

XXX

If I had thought Jessie was sullen and difficult to handle before now he became worse. I tried to tell him that I'd done my best and that he just had to accept that Rama was out of his life and there was nothing anyone could do about that. I don't know what he expected me to do or how he expeted me to do it for that matter. I couldn't seek the turtle's family forgiveness when I didn't even know if they were even in the city. I could do nothing to change what was, we both had to accept it.

I felt bad enough because I knew that the turtles were more human then anything else, it had showed in their words, facial expressions and reactions that still played out in my mind. It showed in the growth chart marked on a sewer wall, in regular intervals, the pride of a father over his growing child, the neat penmanship only enhancing the human attributes these beings had gained. These images continued to haunt me as if determined to taunt me about my hypocrisy adding to the guilt I all ready felt.

Jessie made matters worse, by continuing to accuse me of all he had lost. If I thought he'd been bad the few weeks between the time he was lost to our return to the sewer to seek Rama's family out, well now he proved just how insolent he could be. He refused to obey me or help out, he stopped talking again and he started to act up in school, not doing his homework, ignoring even simple questions on test and there was only a few more months of school before it let out for summer.

The speech thereapist had set up a few visits with one other patient a young girl age six and a half, so there wasn't much of an age difference. I hoped that they would gain a bit of friendship but after the third play date Jessie claimed he didn't want to see her again.

" Why not?" I snapped at him.

" Ssss...She's a gggg..gg..gi..girl!" He replied as if that was enough of a reason.

" Rama was also a girl, you didn't mind her," I declared.

" T...tt...Terry only w...www..wa...wants to p...p...pl..play ssss..siss...sissy stuff. B...bbbbb...Barb...barbies, and h...ha...house, or ho...horsies. Rama ll..li..liked pl..playing sp..sports." Jessie informed me.

I sighed having the feeling that even if Terry had been a boy and into playing sports Jessie would probably still find something wrong, or some reason not to like Terry, on the simple basis that Terry was not Rama. I had reached my end of the rope as far as this whole Rama thing had gone.

" I've had it with you Jessie. I want you to smarten up and start behaving or you will be grounded with no privledges until you do start showing that you can act properly. I've had it with your attitude and you better rethink it. I'm sorry that Rama is gone, but we are never going find her or her family. They are gone Jessie, and you have to accept that and move on." i flared at him.

He winced slightly drawing back but his face hardened into a dirty sullen look.

XXX

It was a warm day for early May people had actually dug out shorts and headed out to the park or some other sunny warm spot to enjoy the day and I decided to give our coats a wash as they hadn't been cleaned in some time. It was warm enough we didn't need to wear jackets today and since it was the weekend and I was doing laundry anyways I figured I may as well, both of our jackets were in dire need of a wash. Jessie's far more then mine that was for sure.

I emptied out the pockets of Jessie's coat finding the typical stuff one might find, in a boy's pocket, a bottle cap, some string, a few pennies, a crumbled wrapper from off a candy bar, and some rocks, i tossed most of these wonderful finds into the garbage can that was placed in the apartment laundry room. Then I emptied my pockets there was only a bit of folded paper in one pocket, probably a grocery list or some reciept, but I unfolded it to be on the safe side, before throwing it away.

It was a note in very neat, almost calligraphy, style of writing.

Melody,

If you find this when you hate us so you'll probably rip it up and throw it away. But for Jessie's and Rama's sake I ask that you hold onto this until you are really sure how you feel about us. If you happen to change your mind, and might not mind Jessie playing with Rama give me a call. If you don't change your mind I wish you the best.

Michaelangelo.

Under his name was a New York City phone number.

I realized then I had been wearing this same jacket on the day Jessie had been lost in the sewers, but I had never taken the coat off down there, so how had Mike managed to get the note into my pocket without me seeing or knowing about it, and when had he done it, probably before I upset Rama.

I was tempted to rip the note up and throw it away, the number probably wasn't any good any more. Mike might not want to hear from me, he might even regret slipping this bit of paper into my pocket. I didn't know what I would get, at worse nothing, or a wrong number if I dared call it. For peace of mind sake though I felt I had to try the number so I set the lid down on the washing machine and headed upstairs to the apartment. I would give the number a call.

By doing so I could say I truly had done all I could and if I did, on some slim chance manage to get Mike or one of the family, which I very much doubted, I knew that I could get no worse then an earful of obscenities and phone slammed down. At least I didn't have to worry about being run through with a weapon while I tried to apologise.

TBC