A Slight Miscalculation: Part 1

"Stop speaking in riddles, Pepper!" Tony snapped. "I am so sick of having to whip out the Idiot to English dictionary to figure out what the fuck you're trying to say!"

Pepper shook her head, leaning heavily on one hip. "You know what? You're right, you're absolutely right, and I don't even know. Why would I even know?"

"Oh, here we go…"

"Because you're the czar of right! And we're all just floating in a sea of wrong as you go by in your ship of right!"

"Of course it's my fault. It's always my fault!"

"Just please – tell me. Throw me a life line so I know. I mean, I don't even know if I'm right about this. I could be wrong about right now, but you know. Why don't you tell me if I'm right right now?"

"I'm just so sick of you…"

**

Pepper started violently, sitting up in bed. She took deep breaths in an attempt to calm her racing heart. Her worst nightmare…

That was her worst nightmare. She wasn't sure what they'd been arguing about in the dream, but she was willing to bet that it hadn't been worth all of that animosity. But with that realization came another:

She and Tony weren't like that! They'd never be like that. Tony was too sweet for that, and Pepper was too level headed for it.

"Did it really take me this long to realize that," she muttered as she glanced at her clock on the nightstand. 5:55 AM. Her alarm would go off in five minutes.

But she smiled as she got up and began getting dressed. She didn't have to worry about a bad relationship with Tony. He'd been right: they were the ones that made it difficult, and they were the ones that needed to work through those difficulties.

She'd been so mad the day before when he'd basically announced to the world that he'd proposed to her, but she'd watched it over. The whole thing, just to make sure that it hadn't been some horrible dream.

"Did I ask her to marry me because I gave up on Eva Mendes? Not at all. Eva is a doll, but I'm not in love with her."

That implied that he was in love with Pepper.

She wanted to hear him say it to her, as those three words had been suspiciously absent from his proposal. Being that he'd told the whole world that he loved her, Pepper was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he'd been so nervous that he'd forgotten. Whatever the reason, she'd have to go to him to find out. She knew that he wasn't bothering her because he was trying to give her space.

"And he's trying to give me space," she told herself with a smile, "because he's in love with me."

**

Tony stared at the computer screen in his office, boredly watching Uncle Buck. Unfortunately, Pepper hadn't attempted to contact him at all after his outburst at the press conference yesterday. Of all the things that would've gotten her to talk to him, he'd really thought that that would be it.

Perhaps he was going to have to go to her. He'd been trying to give her some space, but maybe she was waiting for him to go to her. Either way, it seemed that Rhodey had been right about taking things slow with her. He needed to start over. Maybe ask her to go to dinner with him. Or something...

He sighed heavily and buried his face in his hands, mumbling a semi-coherent 'come in' when someone knocked on the door. He looked up and in slid Cecilia, the very sexy very married head receptionist of the thirty-seventh floor. She was damn good looking for a forty-something year old mother of two. For that reason, Tony hadn't known that she was married or that she was a mother when he'd had sex with her. And in the very office he was sitting in.

Every once in a while she'd slink in wearing an outfit that left little to the imagination and attempted to go for another round, but even before Afghanistan, Tony rarely had sex with the same woman twice. Cecilia happened to be one of those rarities.

To her credit, she never lost heart, but Tony wasn't in the mood to even indulge her. She'd obviously heard what he'd said about his proposal the day before, and she'd probably figured that to mean that Tony was still available.

The outfit she'd opted for this time was a plaid skirt that barely covered her ass and a white button down shirt that was about two sizes too small. He could see her black and pink lace bra underneath, as well as the bellybutton ring that protruded out of her well toned stomach. And the heels she wore were so high that it might've made a stripper stagger.

Tony blinked hard. "How do you get away with wearing things like in a place like this without someone complaining about it?"

"You're the boss, for one," she said as she flipped her long hair over her shoulder. "And it doesn't hurt that I play on both sides of the fence. You may remember."

Oh, he remembered… "Can I help you with something, Cecilia?"

She stuck out a plump bottom lip, gliding across the floor towards him. "You can help me with so many things, Mr. Stark." She sat on the corner of his desk and leaned forward, giving him a generous view of her cleavage. "For starters, this bra is so tight I can hardly breathe."

Tony shook his head. "No."

She blinked. "No?" She frowned thoughtfully. "Do you want me to get someone else? I don't think you've met Angela yet. She's the new brunette temp, and I can tell you that she's a terrific kisser…"

"That's not what I mean. When I say 'no', I mean 'get out' because I don't want anything that you or Angela have to offer me."

"You're kidding."

"I've never been more serious. Please get out."

She sighed heavily, her chest rising and falling more than was natural. "If I have to," she said finally. She stood, but instead of leaving, she relocated to Tony's lap. "But you know, when you're alone and hard tonight, you're going to be sorry that you didn't say yes."

Cecilia grabbed his tie and roughly yanked him forward, her lips sloppily clashing with his. He groaned in anger and frustration and grabbed her upper arms, trying to push her away. She slid her arms around his neck and latched on like death as he tried to rip her away. He let go of her arms and slithered his own up her stomach and under her arms to break her grip.

And who should he see standing in the doorway, staring at them with a look of pure horror, but Pepper Potts.

Tony's heart stopped. "Oh, God…"

The woman on his lap grabbed his chin and turned Tony towards her. "Cute, but you can call me Cecilia."

Tony stood, letting Cecilia fall gracelessly to the ground. By the time he looked up at the door again, it was already closed, and very vacant. It was a good bet that Pepper was already halfway to the ground floor. He wasn't going to catch up to her here. He'd have to catch her at her apartment. All that mattered was that he caught her.

But there was a more pressing matter to attend to first. He picked up the phone and dialed one-one-nine. Half a ring later, someone picked up. "Yes, Mr. Stark?"

"I need an officer to escort Mrs. Cecilia Kelly off the property this instant."

"Someone will be up right away, Mr. Stark."

"Thank you." He hung up but picked up the phone again and dialed eight-six-seven. This time it took two rings before there was an answer.

"Stark Industries, Human Resources. This is Oscar Jones, what can I do for you today?"

"Oscar, this is Tony. I would like to file a sexual harassment complaint against Mrs. Cecilia Kelly – "

"WHAT?!" she shrieked. She'd been lying on the floor, trying to run her foot up the length of his leg through both calls, but she finally stood up and glared daggers at Tony. "You're shitting me!"

"The charge, Mr. Stark?"

"Inappropriate conduct, dress code violation, assault – "

"Bullshit!"

"Just about anything you can think of, to be honest. You and I can iron out the details tomorrow, but I don't want her coming within a thousand yards of this property ever again. I've already called security to escort her off the premises, and I want you to make sure that she never comes back."

"Consider it done, Mr. Stark."

"Thank you, Oscar." He hung up just as two unassuming security guards came into his office and zeroed in on Cecilia. She shrieked indignantly as they grabbed her and she even tried to get away. But the two guards were the strongest in the building, despite the fact that they looked no larger than Tony – they were former marines and they were paid more to work out then they were to keep the peace.

Cecilia kicked and screamed and raised hell all the way out, but Tony stopped paying attention as soon as he was sure that the guards had her in their control. He shut down his computer, grabbed his keys and rushed to his car in hopes of intercepting Pepper. He had to find her…

To Be Continued…

Some inspiration from Dane Cook and 'Neurotically Yours' aka 'iLL WiLL PreSS'.