CHAPTER 26
I was still slightly reeling from the revelations my mother disclosed this morning when Elizabeth turned up. I don't want to deal with her at the moment with everything else that is whirling around in my head, so I open the food Chris brought me and mechanically start to eat.
The atmosphere is oppressive in here since Elizabeth arrived, and I start to feel like the walls are closing in on me and that I can't breathe.
"Eva, honey, are you alright?" my mom asks, looking at me carefully.
Unable to speak I nodded at her, indicating that I am fine and then I feel my lip tremble and tears leak from my eyes and I shake my head, admitting the truth, that no I'm not, I'm really not.
My mother immediately leaps into action, "Oh Eva" she says and she pulls me into a hug and that is my undoing, I burst into tears and I drop the food and cling to her, totally uncaring of Chris and Elizabeth witnessing this moment, I just cling to my mother and sob.
"I'm so sorry mom, for everything," I mutter in her ear.
My mom pushes me away from her and then pulls a handkerchief from her purse and dabs my eyes.
"Oh hush, don't even think about it," she says.
She carefully dabs my eyes and for some unknown reason I remember all the times she has told me not to rub my eyes and face as it can promote wrinkles, the thought that even at this moment she is concerned about me getting wrinkles is suddenly the funniest thing in the world, and I let out a snort of laughter and before I know it I am laughing helplessly and hysterically, the tears are pouring down my cheeks and I am totally out of control. Elizabeth and Chris watch me silently as I totally lose all self-control, howling with laughter and yet also sobbing like a baby.
My mom pulls me into another hug and rocks me like she did when I was a child and slowly I start to pull myself together. When I have eventually got myself under control I look up at the astonished faces.
"Sorry about that, must be the hormones," I say with a shrug.
Chris smiles, "I think you are entitled to some kind of emotional breakdown after everything you have been through in the past few hours," he says kindly.
I go to answer him when I hear a groan, I swallow the words and my attention is immediately and totally focused on the bed, and I lean over, grasping Gideon's hand.
"Gideon, Gideon, can you hear me?" I say urgently.
I feel him grip my hand and excitement rises in me, he can hear me, so I reach over and brush his hair back.
"I'm right here baby, I'm right here waiting for you to open your eyes and to come back to me," I say.
I feel a slight movement, and I hear another groan, and I speak again encouraging Gideon to come back to me.
"I'm here baby, I love you so much, and your mom and Chris are here too we are all waiting for you to wake up, so please open your eyes for me," I urge.
I gasp as his eyes slowly open and tears roll down my cheeks once more as I see those beautiful astonishingly blue eyes. He focuses them on me and as he does so the tears fall even faster from mine.
"Eva?" he croaks, from behind the oxygen mask he is wearing, he searches my face, and I realise he's worried because I'm crying, so I quickly dash the tears away.
"Yes, yes I'm right here" I stammer, and I lean down and moving the mask I press a kiss to his lips.
"Angel," he says and he pulls his hand from mine and cups my nape pulling me closer.
"Steady, be careful," I say as I pull away and replace the mask once more.
I watch as he looks around the room taking in his surroundings and all the medical equipment he is attached to, he seems confused and that morphs into surprise as his eyes fall on his mother.
"Mom?" he asks.
"Eva told me what happened, and asked me to come," she says a little haughtily.
I try not to roll my eyes at that, but I suppose it could have been worse.
"What happened? Why?" he begins and he looks at Chris and then at my Mom and now there is a look of total bewildered confusion on his face as if he has no idea what is going on.
"You were shot baby," I say carefully.
Gideon stares at me blankly for a moment and then it's as if he suddenly remembers everything in a rush and I see it as it happens, by the expression on his face as the blankness vanishes and the panic fills his eyes as he frantically scans me from head to foot, and he tries to sit up and reaches out towards me, wanting to touch me to make sure I am whole, he winces when he moves and then falls back against the pillow with a loud groan.
"Lie still!" I snap at him.
"Corinne, did she... are you hurt? The baby?" he asks, ignoring me completely, the words are all tumbling out in a rush and his hand is still franticly trying to reach me, and I do roll my eyes this time.
"Will you be careful!" I say sharply.
I grasp his searching hand, pushing it back on to the bed, but I don't release it and I sit on the bed beside him so he can reach me and touch me, so he can satisfy himself that I am unharmed, and I reiterate that with what I say next.
"I'm fine, I'm totally unhurt, and the baby is fine too, we both got thoroughly checked out last night, but you and I are going to have words when you are well, because taking a bullet for someone isn't brave, it's fucking stupid and you could have been killed," I say trying reassure him but also show him just how pissed I am at what he did.
"Eva" my mother chides.
I look at her, "No mom" I snap, although I'm fairly certain her rebuke was for my foul language, and not the sentiment of what I said, as mom hates bad language.
Chris steps in, backing me up, "Eva's right, we have been worried sick all night, you nearly died Gideon, and you were in surgery for hours, what on earth possessed you? You have a wife and a baby on the way, do you want your child to grow up without a father?"
Chris is getting more and more worked up and I can see just how afraid and worried he actually was.
Gideon however, is just glaring defiantly and he turns to look at me and I let him see all the anguish I have felt over the past hours, and when he sees it his gaze softens slightly, but then he turns to Chris once more.
"What you don't realise is, that if Corinne had shot Eva last night, if anything had happened to Eva and the baby, I would have taken that fucking gun from her and killed myself because my life would have been over if anything had happened to them."
Everyone gasps at that shocking confession but he looks totally unrepentant for what he has just said and continues to glare at Chris coldly. As I let out my own shocked exclamation, he grips my hand even more tightly, as if he never wants to let me go.
He turns and looks at me now and that steely glare softens and his eyes fill with remorse at the pain he caused me, "I'm sorry I worried you, but it was instinctive for me, you were in danger, so I had to protect you and our baby," he says and he places his hand on my stomach.
I can't help it, I smile at him, "I was slightly more than worried Gideon," I say eventually.
My mom stands up, I think she is still reeling from what he has just said and she looks around and speaking to nobody in particular announces she is going to find someone.
"I'll just go and tell them that Gideon has woken up," she says.
"Thank you Monica" Gideon says quietly and she gives him a small smile.
I watch as she leaves the room and Gideon turns his attention to his mother.
"I'm glad you came mom," he says quietly.
Elizabeth shoots a quick look at me, "I'm your mother, of course, I came," she says.
It takes all the self-control I have for me not to snort or make some other equally sarcastic reaction to that, and I see Gideon shoot me a quick amused glance so I am obviously showing some sort of reaction, but then what she says next completely floors me.
"You have Eva to thank, she persuaded me to come, I wasn't going to, as I wasn't sure what sort of reception I'd get after the appalling way I have behaved, but she made me see sense, and she made me realise that life really is too short, in fact, she has made me realise a lot of things, she is a remarkable woman Gideon, and you are very lucky to have her."
Well, shit! I stare at Elizabeth, not quite believing what I am hearing, and realise my mouth is hanging open and so I quickly shut it unable to say a word. Gideon looks amused at my reaction, as I take a quick look at him.
"I know I am," he says, his eyes fixed on me.
Our attention is drawn to the door once more as it opens and my mom returns with a nurse and doctor, and we all step out of the way while they examine Gideon, I see Chris pull his phone out and call Christopher and Ireland to let them know Gideon is awake, my dad is on his way back to San Diego now and Cary is at home resting but I quickly shoot off a text to them both, and also to Raul, Richard and Angus letting them know Gideon has come round.
Gideon is awake!
Cary's reply comes through first.
Brilliant news, let me know when you give him the ass kicking he deserves for what he did, as I have to see it!
I smile as I read it, as it is so typical Cary and I quickly text him back.
Sorry, already done!
My phone pings with another message this time from my dad.
Good to know, give him my regards.
Richard sends me a brief message thanking me for letting him know and telling me to give his best wishes to Gideon, but I don't get any reply from Raul or Angus, to be fair, I don't really expect them to respond as they are probably far too busy still dealing with the fallout from last night.
The doctors are astounded at just how well Gideon is when they have examined him, especially considering the fact he was shot, lost an enormous amount of blood and was in surgery for hours, and after checking and re-checking him to make sure of their findings it is decided he can be removed from the ICU and into a private room, but he has also been told quite categorically that despite his astonishing progress he is not a well man and he will be in hospital for a while yet.
oooOOOooo
A while later and we are settled in the private room, and Gideon has just been examined yet again. My mom has gone home and Chris and Elizabeth have also both left to give Gideon and I some time alone.
"I am sorry Angel, I didn't think past the fear of seeing Corinne pointing that gun at you, I just knew I had to protect you and our baby, I couldn't stand there and see you get shot," Gideon says to me.
I sigh, "I get that, but watching you fall at my feet with blood pouring from you was totally horrific, I had no idea if you were already dead, dying or anything, it was horrible, please don't make me go through anything like that again," I say.
I see him think about that, and after a moment he nods just once and I squeeze his hand, I am certain from that response, he would do it again, so need him to know the full ramifications of his actions.
"Plus how do you think I could carry on if you had died? I couldn't do it Gideon," I say.
His head turns to face me and he looks shocked as if that concept had never occurred to him, "you'd carry on for our baby" he says eventually.
I nod, "I would, yes, but I wouldn't be the same person, how could I be when half of me was missing?"
I pause "and while we are on the subject of the baby, if you had died, your child would grow up without his or her father – just like you did, do you really want that?" I ask.
I know that is a low blow, and almost akin to emotional blackmail but I really need to make him see what a monumentally stupid thing it was, that he did last night.
He stares at me and I see the moment that registers with him, "I... I…" he says.
"You didn't think about that," I finish for him, I sigh again and shake my head, "I know you didn't, all you could see in that moment was just you protecting us, and thank you for that, but don't do it again!" I say.
The door opens before he can reply to that, and Angus and Raul come in.
Raul smiles, "Good to see you awake," he says.
Angus just glares at Gideon, and I notice his eyes are shining with unshed tears.
He turns to Raul, "I'll do the debrief, go and relieve Clancy, he needs a break."
I immediately catch there is something distinctly off about Angus's tone and I'm immediately on alert wondering what has happened now.
Raul nods and disappears out of the door, Angus watches him go and as soon as the door is shut he rounds on Gideon.
"Of all the stupid, idiotic, things you have done in your life, what you did last night takes the bloody biscuit!" he says his Scottish accent very pronounced and thick with his obvious anger.
I'm shocked and I realise in a rush why Angus sounded so off, he too has been worried sick about Gideon and I'm guessing he probably also feels a little guilty that it happened at all when he is meant to protect him.
To hear Angus reprimand Gideon so harshly validates for me everything I have said and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at Gideon's shocked expression, at the normally mild-mannered Scotsman's outburst, but I can't stop the smile that fills my face, as I've never seen Angus so pissed.
Angus sighs and shakes his head, he pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers and I know he is trying to stop the tears that are threatening.
"What the hell were you thinking lad?!" he says in a slightly softer tone but still filled with more anger than I have ever heard from him.
"I didn't think, I was just trying to protect Eva," Gideon mutters.
"Oh, so you want my job now too do you? We have set protocol in place for such eventualities, you know what you are supposed to do if something like that happened, you know the set protocol, you know exactly what they are, because we designed and implemented them together," Angus rants, and it is a testament to just how upset he is that he is repeating himself, something he never normally does.
Gideon glares unapologetically at him, "it is one thing having a protocol - in theory, but when it comes to putting it into practice it is another matter entirely, as for me, instinct takes over and overrules common sense and any protocol in place, and another thing if we had followed them you would be the one lying here - or worse, and I don't want anyone I love to be injured or killed because of me!"
I see Angus take a sharp breath in at those words and his gaze softens considerably.
"Well we'll say no more about it for now, you're on the mend and that's all that matters," he says, backing down.
"What happened with Corinne?" Gideon asks I look at Angus wanting to know the answer to that one as well.
Angus sits down on the chair next to me, "that's why I'm here, I've got a lot to tell you."
I lean forward as I want to hear what happened after we left in the ambulance.
"Before we talk about last night though, there are a couple of other things which you need to know about," Angus begins.
"Alright," Gideon says, he is gripping my hand tightly and I respond by squeezing back.
"Dr Lucas was stripped of his licence to practice medicine yesterday, and the official letter arrived informing you of that today," Angus says, and I watch as Gideon smiles and leans back, but there is something more, I can see it on Angus's face.
"And," I say urging him to continue and Angus looks at me, briefly hesitating before continuing.
"And this morning he was found dead in his apartment, he'd taken a cocktail of various tablets that he had stolen from the hospital and a hell of a lot of alcohol."
Angus pauses and Gideon's eyes widen in shock, he lets out a long breath, blowing out his cheeks as he does so.
I watch his reaction and frown, "Don't you dare!" I say sharply.
"What?" he asks looking confused.
"Don't you dare put the blame of that on to yourself," I say.
Gideon stares at me in surprise, "I wasn't going to, he chose to do what he did, I wasn't responsible for that, it was just another in a long line of bad decisions he made which were finally all coming home to roost for him, I was just experiencing a sense of relief that after all these years it is now over, I have finally got what I wanted, and that is the acknowledgement and confirmation that he shouldn't be a practicing paediatrician after what he did, and also the fact that someone else agreed with me and took the necessary steps to ensure he no longer could, that overwhelmed me a little for a moment, especially after waiting so long," he pauses and gives me a small smile.
"Then there is the fact it happened so quickly and easily in the end after all these years of secrets and denial and then the fact that these complete strangers believed me, they believed me that he lied and did something about it, which is what I've always wanted, but in reality never ever expected, so I guess what I was feeling was a sense of relief and closure, but what he chose to do as a result of that isn't my concern."
"Oh," I say taken aback by Gideon's pragmatic attitude.
"We reported him for malpractice on an epic scale, by any stretch of the imagination a paediatrician lying to cover up child abuse is monumentally wrong on every possible level, in fact the only thing worse would be the paediatrician to be the paedophile, we did nothing wrong, how Dr Lucas chose to take the news that his past and his poor decisions had caught up with him, and that he was finally being held accountable for his actions, was entirely his decision," Gideon says with a shrug.
"It was" I agree, still a little stunned at Gideon's reaction to this.
I get what he is saying though, it almost feels like an anti climax to get the result so quickly and relatively easily, after the pain, heartache and damage the lies have caused over the years. I just feel proud of the part I played to help him get that conclusion, justice and the outcome he deserved and I too feel no remorse at Dr Lucas's decision to end his own life.
Gideon looks up at Angus, "ok what else?" he says.
"The revelations last night at the gala have gone viral and it has provoked an overwhelming outpouring of support for both Crossroads and Survivors, many high profile people are pledging financial support and all of you are being portrayed as courageous for revealing your pasts the way you did, and at one point the Crossroads server collapsed after the dramatic increase in traffic to the site, but it was soon restored." Angus says.
"Ok, so that's good, that is what we wanted," Gideon says.
"Now to the events of what happened after the gala," Angus says, and I stiffen slightly, this is it.
"After we arrived at the Penthouse, I caught sight of Mrs Giroux approaching and as soon as I saw she was armed I activated the code red alert" Gideon nods but I look confused and Angus smiles at me.
"Gideon has a number of security operatives who aren't visible like me or Raul but they are always around, but lurking in the background and in constant contact, especially around the penthouse, so when I saw Mrs Giroux, I raised the alarm and they broke cover to assist."
I nod understanding now, and Angus continues.
"As she raised her gun to fire they moved in to apprehend her and I moved in to protect you and Mrs Cross, but you blocked me from doing so by getting in my bloody way, resulting you being hit," Angus pauses and glares at Gideon once more.
"Mrs Giroux was apprehended and the emergency services and law enforcement were called, Mrs Giroux was hysterical, screaming and crying and she was clearly heard by numerous witnesses to say 'I didn't mean to hit him, I love him, it was her, I meant to get her', and she even said this to the arresting police officer. We, that is my team, myself and Mr Reyes went to the police station and we all gave our accounts of what happened, I called in Raul from his day off to assist and I also called Mr Madani to join us when it became clear Mrs Giroux was being released on bail, to try and prevent this from happening".
"Wait, Corinne was released, how the hell did she manage that?!" Gideon splutters.
Angus nods, "She was, her father was responsible for that decision, he arrived and shortly afterwards we were informed that she was being released on bail. I have no idea what favours he called in to achieve that, but despite the fact that by rights she should be sitting in a jail cell for what she did, her father managed to come and post bail and he gave all the necessary assurances that he would be totally responsible for her, in light of this, Mr Madani ordered a restraining order on Mrs Giroux for Mrs Cross and for yourself, although we all believe she poses no further risk to you, it is only Mrs Cross who still faces any credible threat. Mr Reyes asked if anyone needed to be told about what had happened, and so I called Mr Vidal to inform him of the incident, and Mr Reyes called Mrs Stanton. Raul, Mr Madani and Mr Reyes then left the police station went to the hospital and I returned to the Penthouse to get a change of clothes and other items for Mrs Cross. Before I went to the hospital I also put in place measures to try and contain the news of the shooting to prevent it reaching the media."
I listen to Angus wondering what he did and I remember Gideon telling me he was ex British Secret Service.
"After that was complete, I made my way here to the hospital. Ben Clancy who had arrived with Mr and Mrs Stanton had volunteered his services and was guarding the room Mrs Cross was using - and he still is. We had security team members dotted around the hospital in case there was any leak to the media and Raul stayed on the premises overseeing the team. We were and still are all on high alert in case Mrs Giroux attempts to gain access to the hospital in search of Mrs Cross or yourself, as in my honest opinion, she wasn't entirely stable."
Gideon nods.
"When you came out of surgery and were moved to the ICU, Mr and Mrs Stanton went home, as did Mr Reyes, Mr Vidal junior, Miss Vidal and Mr McFarlane."
"Mr McFarlane?" Gideon asks.
"Trey" Angus supplies, and I am surprised at that, I didn't know Trey's surname either.
"Christopher and Ireland were here?" Gideon asks in surprise.
Angus nods, and I butt in, "They were Gideon, and everyone was so worried about you when Chris told Christopher to take Ireland home you could tell he didn't want to go," I say.
"Mr Vidal senior and Mr Taylor stayed the night in here with Mrs Cross," Angus says.
Angus opens his mouth to continue when the door flies open and Raul rushes in.
"Corinne Giroux is on the grounds, and she's armed, she is looking for Mrs Cross, she has been to the Penthouse, and we have footage of her making a nuisance of herself there, when the police were called she fled and made her way here, I've contacted Arash Madani and he is liaising with the police officers to bring her in and get her sectioned, she won't be able to wriggle out of it this time as she has broken her bail conditions and is as we speak she is trying her hardest to violate her restraining order as well," he says.
As I listen to Raul say this it hits me with a sudden clarity what she is doing, she isn't crazy at all, she knows exactly what she doing, she has had this planned meticulously, possibly for weeks, and with that realisation I recall her chilling threat when she confronted Gideon at the penthouse and the words ring out loud and clear in my head, confirming for me exactly what her intention is 'You will regret this Gideon, I might be so upset that I won't ever forgive you for this, I might be so upset that I might do something else, something more permanent this time', we had automatically assumed it was another crazy ass suicide threat, when it actually could have been murder she was threatening.
"Stop them, we don't want her sectioned!" I blurt out.
Raul and Angus stare at me as if I'm the crazy one.
"We don't want her sectioned because she's not crazy, and she needs to stand trial, I admit she's not stable but she's also not out of her mind crazy, she is, however, a calculating manipulative bitch, she knows exactly what she is doing and if my theory is right she has been planning this for a while, you have to listen and trust me about this, if she was crazy, I mean really crazy you'd have a massacre on your hands, she would gone on a rampage and she would have shot anyone who got in her way, but she didn't, because she is in total control of her actions and knows exactly what she is doing, she has one objective – me out of the way, and I think she is pretending to be totally batshit crazy in the hope that she will evade any repercussions for achieving that goal, that she will be declared unfit to stand trial or get a lesser punishment, and we fell for it, we have said time and time again that she is unstable and assumed that what she has been doing has been lodged in the realms of la la land, and I admit, wanting to kill someone isn't rational behaviour, and yes she was totally hysterical last night – but that is only because she was mortified because she'd shot the wrong person, she is unstable but she isn't batshit crazy, she is too calculating for that she just wants me dead, it's all a pre-meditated, an act of revenge, she wants to punish Gideon, because she knows he loves me and not her."
"But," Raul says still looking sceptical.
I shake my head, "No, please trust me on this, and please listen to me, if we go right back – when Gideon told her he was with me and made it clear to her there was nothing for her what did she do? She started acting irrational, hysterical and needy, she started acting crazy, but it didn't work because all it succeeded in doing was getting Gideon to call her husband to come and take care of her!"
Raul and Angus look at each other as they consider what I am saying, but I continue, as I know I am right about this.
"Then don't forget I saw the footage of her with Gideon after we announced our marriage and she said and I quote, 'You will regret this Gideon, I might be so upset that I won't ever forgive you for this, I might be so upset that I might do something else, something more permanent this time', we dismissed that at the time assuming she meant she would hurt herself again which was totally reasonable considering she had just tried to off herself with an overdose, but she was telling him right there that she would never forgive him for choosing me over her and warning him that she would get her revenge for that, which she has tried to do, and that revenge is to kill me, because of what she saw as Gideon's betrayal. Yes that is mentally unstable, very much so, but it's still well within the realms of reality, BUT and this is really important everything she has done up to this point has been manipulative and conniving, but not crazy, if she really was completely batshit crazy, and operating on another level, everyone around us would also be in danger, anyone who got in her way would have been shot, she would have just kept on shooting in the hopes she got the result she wanted, but she didn't because she has planned this meticulously and if she is sectioned she thinks she will be able to plead insanity, she will be declared unfit to stand trial or get away with a lesser charge on the grounds of diminished responsibility and if that happens, we won't get justice for what she did last night, she is a lot of things but she isn't insane and we want her to be held fully accountable for what she did" I say.
Raul nods and pulls out his phone and calls Arash and relays everything I have said, and a moment later Raul is offering me his phone.
I take it from him, "Arash, we do not want her sectioned do you hear me," I yell.
"I hear you, and I totally get what you are saying, but are you sure about this and more importantly can we prove it?" he asks.
"I am as sure as I can be without knowing for absolute certainty, I totally believe she knows exactly what she is doing, and yes we can prove that, it's all down to emotional blackmail with her, cold and calculated actions to try and get what she wants, and when that didn't work for her she stepped it up a notch, she wants to teach Gideon a lesson for not wanting her and what is the best way to hurt him, remove him from the one thing he has declared that he loves more than anything else, me!" I say.
"But she knows you are pregnant, surely she...?" Arash says.
I quickly interrupt him, "Since when has an innocent life bothered her, we have more than good reason to believe that she took a damned overdose knowing that she was pregnant with Giroux's baby! " I exclaim, and then another thought crosses my mind.
"Plus don't you think she recovered from that overdose very quickly? I have had my suspicions for a while that she made sure she didn't take enough to kill herself and I'm guessing she probably engineered being found in time as well. She should have been admitted to a psych ward for an evaluation after a stunt like that, but only days later she was walking the streets and arranging a fucking book launch! That is just an assumption on my part but don't you think she should be held accountable for attempted murder and whatever else you can get to stick, for what she did to Gideon?" I ask.
"Absolutely, ok leave it with me, I'll sort it," he says and hangs up.
I hand Raul his phone back, "He's sorting it" I say.
oooOOOooo
(GIDEON)
I feel like my head is going to explode with the events of the last twenty-four hours, I look at my wife who is at this moment sleeping on the cot which was brought in for her. I am relieved she is finally getting some rest and I'm pleased she has been treated so well by the staff in the hospital.
As I watch her my mind starts to replay the events as I remember them. The fear I felt as I saw Corinne waving a gun around, I know what I was supposed to do if that scenario ever occurred but in that moment all I could see was protecting Eva and the baby and also a part of me couldn't allow Angus to put himself in jeopardy.
I smile as I remember his ass-kicking, he really ripped me a new one, I had no idea he harboured such deep emotional feelings about me, I know I have always viewed him as much more than an employee, I love him like a son loves a father, he was for a long time the only father figure I had, but I never realised that he harboured any real paternal affection for me.
Then Eva had persuaded my mother to come, I have no idea how she managed that, but I'm certain she probably wasn't tactful about it. I take a moment to let that sink in, she got my mother to admit she was wrong, that is monumental. Nobody ever has ever managed to achieve that feat. I was shocked to learn that Chris stayed here overnight by my bedside, I hadn't expected that, or the fact Christopher and Ireland came to the hospital and were worried about me. It is still unbelievable to me that people were worried... about me, and that is a concept I am still struggling to come to terms with.
I lean back and rest my head against the pillow and it hits me that if I had died Eva would have been alone with our child, yes she would have been materially taken care of, she wouldn't have any financial worries ever again, but that in itself would also have left her incredibly vulnerable, for the first time I really think about all the possible ramifications of my actions.
My mind hops to the other things which have come up, Dr Lucas – I am slightly surprised at myself by my total indifference to his suicide, I realised in that moment that the therapy sessions I have been having are working, they are making me see things more rationally and logically, also I am liking the feeling I get every time a long standing issue from my past are dealt with, like when I apologised to Anne Lucas, when my mother acknowledged she was wrong and that she now believed me, now that other people believed that what Dr Lucas did was wrong and punished him for it, that feeling deep inside me of something slotting into place and the sense of almost serenity that brings me, I realise that I am slowly putting together all the broken parts of me, I am healing, I am becoming whole. As I think this I realise, I haven't had a nightmare or an Atypical parasomnia episode since the night I got back from California after securing the injunction, and that one was one of the not so bad ones, it was one of the ones about my dad, I quickly do the maths that was the day before the gala dinner where we announced we were engaged, I count the weeks and quickly realise it's the longest I have ever gone in my life, I don't want to read too much into that, but it is certainly encouraging, and it gives me hope that I can eventually fulfil the dream Eva has of us spending the entire night together.
I gaze at my sleeping wife, I have Eva to thank for all this progress I have made, I never want to go back to the man I was before I met her.
As I watch her I remember what she told me earlier, after Angus and Raul had left, she had told me her mother had confessed to her the reasons behind why she is the way she is, that had been a revelation and a half!
I had always suspected that Monica Stanton wasn't the fragile woman she always appeared to be, yes circumstances throughout her life had definitely damaged her and had a profound effect on her mental health but she was strong, undoubtedly so.
I recall what Eva had told me earlier...
Raul and Angus have now left and Eva and I are alone, I look at my wife closely, something is still bothering her, something is on her mind, I wonder what it is and if it is related to the events of last night.
I reach out for her, "Angel" I say carefully.
She looks up and she immediately responds giving me her hand, I rub my thumb over her knuckles.
"Are you still angry with me?" I ask.
She smiles, "yes, what you did..." she trails off and shakes her head and to my horror tears start to fall again.
"Angel please don't cry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I say.
She shakes her head and sniffs, "I don't know how mom did it," she says suddenly almost to herself
"What?" I ask, I am totally confused by that comment.
Eva looks at me and seems to think about something carefully and I realise this is what is eating at her, something else has happened and it is to do with Monica.
I wait for her to tell me, I am confident she will because she has made a point of saying that there should be no secrets between us, and it seems as though she has a big one which she wants to share with me, so I wait patiently for her tell me in her own way what has happened.
"Mom has finally told me why she is the way she is," she says at last.
I'm not sure what she is talking about, so I just wait for her to elaborate.
"Why she is so obsessed with money, and why she chose money over the love of my father," she says.
My eyes widen at this, this is something I had said I would try to find out for her after she had talked with her mother and been left even more confused as to why she prioritised money so highly, but with everything else that has happened recently, it had totally slipped my mind.
"It was a horrific story," Eva says quietly, "but it makes me realise just how strong my mom has been over the years and why she was so completely guilt-ridden over what happened with me and why she turned into an obsessive over-protective crazy woman as a result."
I silently will her to continue, my interest is immediately peaked at this, this is something which Eva has wondered about for such a long time to finally have the answers must be huge for her.
"Mom's parents weren't her parents, they were actually her aunt and uncle," she begins, "her biological mom was a teenager who had been left high and dry by her asshole boyfriend, so it was decided that her older sister and her husband would take mom and raise her as their own," she pauses and I nod in understanding, acknowledging that fact.
"Mom's dad, she said his name was Gordon Tramell, well he was an asshole of epic proportions, controlling, violent, narcissistic, bully... evil sociopath is how I would describe him after what mom told me," she says.
"Well, to cut a long story short, when mom got pregnant with me, he tried to force her to abort me, she refused and ran away, she went to my dad and he did the right thing, he gave up his job as a motor mechanic and joined the police force instead, and they loved each other and were making it work, but Gordon wasn't having any of that, he was mightily pissed, firstly because mom had disobeyed him and he had lost his control over her but he was also pissed because it looked like mom and dad were making it work against the odds, and he decided he wasn't having that, so he tried to sabotage them, he was rich and had friends in powerful places and he used his wealth and influence to try and get my dad thrown out of the police force and to discredit him, from what mom said he made their lives a misery that eventually they had no choice but to part and she went home with me," she stops and shakes her head.
"He wasn't happy that he had succeeded in breaking them up, and he continued to try to get rid of me, by trying to get me adopted, but even though she was quite young, because mom wasn't a minor her consent was needed because she was my mother and so she always found out and put a stop to it. She even considered going back to my dad, but he threatened my dad's life if she left so she was stuck, he carried on playing mind games until one day apparently he threatened my life, and mom snapped, she stood up to him to protect me and he attacked her, her mom who by all accounts was terrified of him also stood up to him at this point to protect my mom and he... he... he nearly killed her, mom said he kicked her down a flight of stairs, and she broke her back leaving her with life changing injuries, he realised what he had done and he blackmailed them into keeping quiet, he said he would get his wife the medical care she now needed as long as they kept their mouths shut, and that is how they lived for years, mom said it was an uneasy truce nobody doing anything to rock the boat, he even stopped his games of trying to get rid of me."
My mouth is hanging open at this I can't believe what I am hearing.
"Everything changed when he died though, he had the final revenge, mom didn't say this but I think he hated living with that status quo and wanted to show he was the one in control one final time, he cut my mom and her mom off completely and didn't leave a penny to them, so my mom was left with her mother's medical care to pay for, she said my dad tried to help as much as he could but it wasn't enough to maintain the care she had, and it was around that time she met George - Nathan's dad, all kinds of filthy rich and eligible and as such he appeared to the answer to her prayers, so she married a man she didn't love just so that her mother could have the medical care she needed, when it all came out about what happened, what Nathan did, well that nearly destroyed her that she had put me in a dangerous situation and that is why she was the way she was with me, because she could never forgive herself that she put me in danger because of the decisions she made".
"But," I say.
Eva nods, "I know it's unreasonable to think that, but she believes that she is to blame because she took the decision to marry George Barker to get money to pay for her moms care, which resulted in Nathan doing what he did to me, in fact, I'd go as far as thinking she blames herself for everything, she told me once that she wished she had never met my father, she never regretted having me, but I think some part of her deep down thinks that if she had never met my dad and never had me then that whole incident would never have happened and her mom wouldn't need round the clock care, she wouldn't have married George and I wouldn't have been raped" Eva stops speaking and I am completely overwhelmed by what she has just told me, but before I can respond she continues.
"As you know, mom divorced George and got a good settlement she moved on to husband number 2 and he was an asshole – he was very rich too but he had a gambling problem, a big one, he was a whale who didn't bat an eyelid at dropping thousands of dollars in one sitting at a casino, I often wondered why mom married him in the first place, but now it all becomes clear, I now think she knew the marriage wouldn't work so she deliberately set out to just get what she could from him. She realised quite quickly that being a career trophy wife was lucrative and she made the most of it, not for herself, purely so that her mother could have the best care she could possibly get. So, as I say mom divorced him got another good settlement and moved on again, to Richard, and she has been with him ever since, and I think of the three she has more feelings for him than anyone else, because of how he has taken good care of me as well as her, but that didn't stop her sleeping with dad, he will always be her one true love" I say.
I nod, "Is her mother still alive?" I ask.
Eva nods, "I think so, my dad was there when she was telling me all this, and it all fell into place why he had never moved on, and I asked him outright if he was waiting for her and he admitted it, he said he was".
I let out a long breath, "Jesus, that is one hell of a story" I say.
I am shocked to the core by what I have just heard and my concern now is that Eva will try and take some of the blame for her mother's situation.
"You do know that none of what happened is your fault?" I say carefully.
She nods at me, "I know that, but..." she trails off.
I reach for her and in that moment I make the decision to look into the care Monica Stanton's mother is receiving...
I am pulled from my thoughts by the door opening and there stands Monica, she smiles at me and looks at Eva sleeping peacefully.
"Oh good she is getting some rest at last," she says, and then she turns her attention to me, "How are you Gideon?" she asks as she sits herself down.
"I'm fine, I'm glad you're here, I need to discuss something with you," I say.
"Oh?" she asks and I see the handkerchief appear and her fingers twist it nervously.
"Eva told me," I say.
Monica looks at me and realisation dawns.
"She told me everything, and I want to help," I state firmly.
"But," she says and shakes her head, "No I couldn't possibly ask you to do that," she says.
"You're not, I'm offering," I say, "In fact I'm not offering, I'm telling you that I am going to do this, I will look into the care your mother is receiving and I will assume financial responsibility for it, I can certainly afford it, and what is the use of having money if it doesn't help the people you love, I love Eva, she loves you and you love your mother, so it's simple, I will pay for your mothers medical care and that way everyone is happy," I state waving my hand emphatically.
"I don't know what to say," Monica says.
"There is no need to say anything" I reply.