Disclaimer: Stargate: SG1 isn't my creation; I'm only playing here and the only things I own are any original characters that came from my own mind.
Title: "…the Best is Yet to Be."
Summary: "Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be." – Robert Browning.
These will be a series of vignettes creating 30 years of life together.
Spoilers: Everything that has aired up to this point is fair game. Any references to the DVDs will be noted in the Author's Notes.
Pairings: Daniel/Vala, obviously, Sam/Jack at some point and Cam/someone implied.
Rating: Now "M". Will remain "M" for the duration of the story.
Genre: Drama/Angst/Humour/Romance…the only genre that won't apply here would be 'slash'.
A/N: YES I know...shock and awe abound...after struggling through distractions all summer long that kept me from concentrating on this...this chapter is FINALLY complete!
Lessee...the last posted chapter took place in March 2011...so Daniel is 45 and Vala is 39.
This is an intensely 'adult' so reader discretion is advised.
Enjoy and as always, anything you wanna say, I wanna hear.
OH and the one thing I keep forgetting to do....THANK YOU Merrykk for your time and effort that helps me keep these two acting and reacting 'in-character'
mid-April 2011
Vala shoved her feet down through the sun-seared top surface of sand into the cool, damp layer below. She laid her arms across her bent knees and propped her chin on her arms, watching with an absent-minded gaze, the surf rolling onto the shore. The last time she could remember being beside one of Earth's oceans had been….their honeymoon in Europe…almost… With a start she realized their second wedding anniversary was approaching. Shifting her head down to lean her forehead against her knees, she closed her eyes. It seemed so long ago. She couldn't seem to remember the last time she'd been that unabashedly happy. It felt like she'd been angry and sad for years and years.
She knew of course, intellectually, that was ridiculous. It'd only been two months since everything had fallen apart and she knew exactly the last time she'd been happy.
Mere hours before the twisting pain ripped through her gut Daniel had arrived home after three days off-world to catch up with the 'dig' on Invernia. There had been nothing showy or remarkable about his return. Sharing a soft chaste kiss, a quick hug and beaming smiles when he stepped off the 'gate ramp was as dramatic as their reunion got. The rest of their evening had been equally unremarkable. Over a feast of their favourite Thai take-out she'd been content to let him ramble on about the latest findings on Invernia just so she could relish listening to his voice and watching the way talking about his work always made his eyes light up. That had been followed by an hour or two of him making a start on transcribing his journal notes from Invernia to his laptop while she channel-surfed until she found, much to Daniel's eye-rolling chagrin, a sports channel airing her newest addiction; women's roller derby. After watching half an hour of spectacularly bad 'reffing' and less than inspiring play by the team known for their dirty tactics her interest in the match ended with Daniel nuzzling into her neck and whispering in her ear, in precise detail, how exactly he'd missed her. That had lead to heated, blissful lovemaking. She had fallen asleep, content with his arms wrapped around her, one hand splayed protectively across her swollen belly. Then in sudden waves of agonizing pain and blood, the half-way normal, happy life she had been finally starting to believe in was ripped away from her.
A wash of tears that she couldn't stop trickled down her cheeks to make damp splotches in the sand. She let out a long sigh and rubbed her eyes along her arm. She was so tired of crying. She thought she had cried herself dry the night Daniel had held her until dawn. She'd thought she was coming back to herself after that. She'd thought with every passing day that they were almost back normal and that the sooner they started trying for another baby the sooner she could fill up the hollow feeling inside her.
Then with Carolyn's assessment Vala knew she'd been a fool to ever stop knowing that her past would, sooner or later, make her pay for thinking she deserved to be happy.
Another flood of tears slid down her face into the sand. Solid familiar arms cool and damp from being in the water folded around her. She leaned into the embrace, grateful for his unwavering presence.
"I'm sorry," she said, shakily.
"For what?" his voice was soft against her hair.
"For…for being such a basket case…still."
She raised her head to swipe her hands over her eyes.
"No time limit on how long you're allowed to be basket case far's I know…so you don't need to apologize."
She turned to look directly to him. He'd obviously just come out of the water. His hair was plastered to his skull and his face was bare of glasses. She reached, laying her hand along his cheek and studied him. He looked so young and vulnerable without his glasses. Even more so inside intimate personal space. It had taken her awhile to get used to how easily she could read every emotion that passed across his face. Even now, she could see the anguish of their loss reflected in the care and concern in his eyes when he looked at her, but yet outwardly he seemed calm and unaffected.
"And why aren't you?" she said softly.
His brow furrowed. "Why aren't I what?"
"A basket case."
His gaze dropped, a faint wince of sorrow flickered across his face, betraying that he was hurting as much as she was. He shrugged.
"Because you need me not to be."
Vala blinked rapidly, to dispel another welling up of tears. He'd never let her down. Ever. Even when she'd turned on him and blamed him for her pain because he'd convinced her to believe in happily-ever-after; he'd resolutely refused to let their marriage fall apart.
"And it's helping me," he looked up, his gaze focusing on the tumble of the surf., "that you've haven't run away, …that you aren't trying to pretend this doesn't matter…you letting me see how much you wanted this baby is showing me how important our life together is to you," he turned his head slightly to look at her, "and how important I am to you."
With a sharp nod of her head, Vala dropped her gaze, poking her fingers into the sand below her legs, "I," the words came out in a halting whisper, "I just wanted…to give…give you what…no one else had."
"You have," he murmured, looping his arms around her shoulders and leaning his forehead against her head.
She pulled away from him slightly, raising a questioning eyebrow.
"You gave me you," he said with soft smile.
With a dismissive 'hmph', she turned her gaze back to the water, "Oh yes, I'm quite the prize."
"Yeah you are…you're smart and brave and loving and funny …and even after all you've endured you're still enthusiastic about life. You might still make me wanna scream in frustration sometimes, but you also make me laugh. And," his voice dropped to the intimate silkiness of their bedroom, "you are so unbearably sexy I can't think straight."
He leaned away from her slightly. "I gotta a hunch though that somewhere in this," he tapped a finger against her skull, "less than orthodox brain you're still nursing the notion that you're some sort of consolation prize," his finger curled under her chin, lifting her gaze back to his, "but you're not Vala, …you could never take the place of Sha're."
She widened her eyes in hurt disbelief and was rewarded to see him wince.
"Okay," he sighed, wearily dropping his head forward with a shake, "that didn't come out right."
"No kidding." she snapped, turning her eyes back to the water.
He let out another sigh, lifting his head to look directly at her. "Look, all I mean is that you could never be a substitute for anyone…you're too unique. You're just you…and you're who I wanted. Even when I was pushing you away and hating that I had fallen in love with you it wasn't because I was thinking that you couldn't replace Sha're…it was because I didn't think you were capable of anything except breaking my heart."
There was a silence for a moment, then his forehead came to rest against the side of her head again.
"But I was very wrong," he continued softly, "the past few years with you have been amazing and so much more than I ever hoped for. I wanted this child….I did…but if that isn't meant to be then that's okay…as long as I don't lose you too…you're everything I need or want," he paused, his voice thick when he spoke again, "just you."
Waves breaking on the shore and the shrill cry of gulls were the only sounds for several moments. Vala didn't dare look at him. The soft tenderness in his eyes would be her undoing again…and she was so tired of crying. When the silence began to feel overlong she hazarded a glance at him, surprised by the frown creasing his forehead and the way he was studying her with his mouth pursed in thought.
She nudged him. "Daniel?"
He blinked, focused on her and then smiled, "Sorry, just considering something."
"Oh? What?"
Smiling softly he shook his head, stood and held out his hand
"Come inside…I want you to see something."
Uncertain but curious she stood up and followed him back into the cabin.
"So?" she said expectantly when he'd stopped them beside the bed, "what did you want me to see?"
Still frowning in thought he took the step that closed the remaining space between them.
"I…uhh, want you to…uh…see me make love to you."
"An interesting notion to be sure, but there are no mirrors here," she gestured at the space over their bed and around the headboard.
Daniel shook his head, reaching around to the nape of her neck to unfasten the halter strap of her swimsuit.
"No, I literally mean I want you to watch me make love to you."
She shook her head slowly in puzzlement. "I'm afraid I still don't understand."
"I want you to keep your eyes open," he said, reaching to grasp the damp, sandy hem of the oversized Air Force T-shirt she wore over her bathing suit.
" …uhh 'cept maybe when I'm kissing you…having someone watch you while you're kissing them is actually kinda creepy," came through muffled as he pulled the t-shirt off over her head.
With the garment no longer between them she regarded him with uncertainty. The pang of unease in her stomach since he'd mentioned making love wasn't going away. They really hadn't had full intercourse since that night. First there'd been waiting for Carolyn to give them the okay. Then after she voiced her opinion about them trying for another baby, the whole thing had become difficult....the concept of those unpleasant little plastic sheaths had only served to remind Vala that she'd failed him. It had simply led to more tears. She closed her eyes and bowed her head with a weary sigh…she was so tired of crying. Looking back up at him after moment, she shook her head.
"I'm sorry Daniel, I," she said in an almost whisper, worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth, "I don't know I can…"
"Sure ya can," he murmured, stroking a gentle finger down her cheek, "just trust me, okay? I know it sounds a little odd, but you need to know and believe once and for all that you've never been a substitute for anyone…and you didn't need to prove your place in my life by giving me a child. I wanted you… just you…and I can say words telling you that 'til I'm blue in the face, but you're a physical being and I figure the only way you're going to 'get it' is if I show you that you're the only one here, here" he touched a hand to first his head, then his chest, "and here," his dropped from his chest to the front of his swimsuit, "when we make love…so please…just try this," both his hands curved around the back of her head, lightly grazing the tender skin behind her ears with long, nimble fingers.
Blinking away another welling of tears, she tilted her head and regarded him.
"And will you keep you eyes open too?"
His fingers stilled. He blinked in surprise.
"Uhhh…I was really wasn't thinking in terms of anything beyond focusing on you."
Vala had to swallow her amusement. Her ever altruistic husband always managing to convince himself that he could still keep his lust for her restrained.
"Well then how will I know for sure that behind your closed eyes I'm the one you're thinking about?"
Daniel huffed a soft laugh, resuming the brush of his fingertips along the back of her neck. "Sweetheart I'm lucky if I can remember my name by the end, let alone be able to think about anyone or anything other than you."
Tingles of warmth spreading down her spine from the drag of the rough tips of his fingers across her skin robbed her of further coherent thought. The craving to lose herself and all the pain of the previous two months in the mindless physical pleasure of his body was undeniable. Her eyes closing, she leaned into him, a soft sound of want whispering from her mouth. One of his hands smoothed down her back to wrap around her waist, drawing her firmly against him. His hand cradling her skull, laced into her hair, keeping her snug in his embrace while he trailed feather-light kisses across her brow, over each eyelid, along a cheekbone to the corners of her mouth. Finally his lips covered hers with a firm tenderness, his tongue slowly teasing its way into her mouth. Exhaling a soft sigh, she let her mouth part under his, welcoming the warm, plush stroke of his tongue against hers. She wrapped her arms around his waist and molded herself into his embrace.
"You are so beautiful Vala," he murmured, drawing away from her after a moment or two.
She opened her eyes to find him intently tracking the slow uncovering of her body as he eased her bathing suit to her waist.
His movement stilled, his gaze settling on her form, still lush with baby weight.
"…just so beautiful…you take my breath away," he whispered, folding his fingers around the curves of her breasts.
Vala felt her own breath stutter and catch. His hands on her, handling her flesh with the same care and reverence he focused on his work, made her squirm. There was still some small part of her that didn't want him adoring her with his hands. It stirred too many memories of men being forced to worship her body on threat of death from Qetesh. The urge to turn her wiles on him to stop his ability to focus on anything beyond his own need still hovered in her thoughts, although less frequently then it used to and at times she let herself surrender without caution to the sensual magic of his touch. Times like now, when his thumbs were skimming tantalizing circles around her nipples, sending surges of warmth down through her body. She watched his elegant, nimble fingers stroke across her breasts, fascinated by the contrast between his large, tanned hands and her fine, pale skin. She raised her gaze to his. Smiling softly, he lifted one hand from her chest to cradle her face in his palm.
"I love you Vala…just you." he murmured, lowering his mouth to hers.
She blinked away another welling of moisture from her eyes. It was that focused earnest tone in his voice that got her every time. That tone had convinced her to believe that she could be better, that she could live a better life, that he was home and that maybe happily-ever-after was possible. Closing her eyes, she wound her arms around his neck and molded her body against his, letting herself get lost in his mouth moving over hers, sweet, lingering and heated. Dreamily she felt his hands drifting back to her bathing suit while his mouth eased away from hers to trail kisses along her jawbone to her ear and, down her throat. His tongue rubbing deeply into the pulse in her neck, made her moan. She opened her eyes. Dark golden brown hair was all she could see as he bent his head, renewing his path of kisses down her throat. She threaded her hands into his hair, letting the soft strands drift through her fingers. His head shifted. Seeing his tongue flicker across her nipple at the same moment she felt the sensation sent a spike of heat through her groin. She felt herself tighten with want. She clutched at his head, breathing out his name in a ragged gasp. His head lifted, meeting her gaze with smoldering blue eyes. Without saying a word or breaking eye contact he pulled her bathing suit down over her hips as he dropped to his knees. The movement made his swimsuit tent over his groin. Smirking, Vala rubbed the side of her calf along the outline of his erection. His eyes narrowed. He lifted her leg away and shook his head.
"Ah, ah," he scolded quietly, leaning forward to graze a line of soft kisses down her belly. "this was only about you."
It took until he was nuzzling into the soft cleft between her legs, for her to fully realize what his intention was. Her throat went dry. This was one of those moments when she wanted to seize control of the situation by seducing him into forgetting about anything else except his own lust. She took in and then let out a small breath, trying to make herself relax into his touch but she couldn't stop her hands from tightening on his shoulders. Instantly his tender caresses stopped. He tilted a look up at her.
"Okay?" he asked his eyes soft with concern.
"Of course darling," she responded with a tight overly-bright smile.
He studied her for a moment. She tried grinning wider, but she knew he wasn't buying it. He'd learned to read her too well. Fixing his hands around her waist, he tugged her down to sit on the bed.
He raised a hand to brush her hair back from her face. "Do you want me to stop?"
Sighing, she bowed her head. It wasn't like she hadn't let him to do this before. It hadn't become a habit, but since the first time on their wedding night she'd allowed herself to accept it from him on occasion…she just wasn't used to it being his only goal. Losing herself in mindless physical pleasure though was what she wanted at that moment, and as her body was now recalling for her, speaking languages wasn't his only oral talent
"Vala?" he prompted quietly.
She raised her head, gave him a tremulous smile and leaned forward, pressing her mouth to his.
He drew away from her after a moment, his hands roaming gently along the curves of her hips and ass.
"So that's a 'yes' to continue?"
Her answer was to loop her arms around his neck and lean close enough to brush her torso seductively against his bare chest. She was rewarded to see his eyes dilate and darken to sapphire. Instantly his hands were heavy on her breasts, his fingers teasing her nipples into tight peaks.
"'K….takin' that as 'yes'," he mumbled, pressing nipping kisses all the way down her throat.
Vala closed her eyes, letting her hands glide over and around his torso, savouring the clench and flex of the solid, defined muscles shifting under her hands and the soft, warmth of his lips moving across her skin. His mouth closing over her breast pulled a purr of pleasure from her. The rough flick of his tongue across a nipple turned the purr to a low moan. She opened her eyes to watch him cup both her breasts in his hands and suckle at one nipple then the other while his fingers brushed repeatedly across the opposite one. The fizz of electricity coiling between her legs was making it hard to breathe. Just when she thought watching him sucking at her as she felt the sensation was about to send her over the edge he eased away, trailing open mouth kisses down her belly. She couldn't stop a whimper of frustration. She almost gave into the temptation to simply push him to the floor and mount him. Until his head dipped between her legs, his tongue grazing across the wet heat of her inner lips. The pool of liquid need twisting in her groin tightened. She could barely contain a sob of loss when his tongue moved away, licking down the tender skin of her inner thighs. Briefly she considered closing her thighs around his head to keep his mouth on her until she was dazed with pleasure, but became distracted with the sensuous sensation of him slowly mapping the length of her leg with delicate kisses. Fleeting detours to feather his tongue across the pulse behind her knee and then the heartbeat quivering at her ankle as he slipped her bathing suit off one leg had her body vibrating with lust. With languid movements that seemed designed to make her scream with frustration, he lifted her other leg. Pushing her bathing suit down off her foot to the floor, he touched lingering kisses to the tender skin around her ankle and up the inside of her leg, resting it against his shoulder as he moved.
By the time the tip of his tongue was tracing the delicate crease at the top of her thigh every nerve ending in Vala's body was straining for surrender. He nuzzled into the cloud of curls between her legs, skimming his tongue over wet, swollen flesh. A wave of sweet heat made her body buzz. She slumped back on her elbows, panting. Through eyes barely open and clouded with arousal she watched him hook her knee over his shoulder, displaying her, opening her completely to his attentions.e leH For a long moment he simply let his gaze drift over her, drinking her in. Vala wanted to scream. Watching him gaze at her with the same rapt fascination he afforded a rare and precious artifact kicked the heat churning in her groin up another notch. A stray thought slid across her brain that she had never before noticed that sex brought the same expression of intense concentration to his face as his work did. She wondered if she'd ever again be able to watch him work without getting turned on. His tongue suddenly flicking across his lips made her want to haul him down on top of her. Before she could put action to that thought he leisurely reached to touch her, his fingers gently following the folds and contours of the slick flesh between her legs.
"God, you're luscious," he rasped, slipping one firm finger into her.
She exhaled a hard breath through her nose, her eyes fluttering shut. The heavy musk of her own arousal and the liquid sound of his finger curling in and out of her engulfed her. She sank further back onto her elbows, losing all coherent thought to the exquisite tension building in her body. Mindlessly she began to shift her hips, following the retreat and thrust of his finger, torn between just wanting the sensations to go on and on and desperate for the shattering end her body was craving.
The flat of his tongue was suddenly on her flesh, licking in one long stroke from where his finger was relentlessly pushing into her to where the tiny, rigid nub lay hidden in her folds. A strangled whimper came from the back of her throat. She slit her eyes open, reaching to comb a hand through his thatch of soft, dark hair. Seeing and feeling the dip and shift of his head that matched the repeated sweeps of his tongue across her flesh almost finished her. Keening with need, she twisted her hips to follow the swipe of his tongue, desperate for his touch on the one spot aching for attention. With a hard grunt of frustration she seized his head to hold him in place at the same moment he sucked the stiff little pearl into his mouth. Vala almost came off the bed, shuddering with the white heat lancing through her. She clutched his head, groaning loudly as his tongue flickered back and forth over the little nub. She tightened her fingers in his hair, grinding herself against his mouth, moaning his name. Hi fingers suddenly tugging and twisting her nipples sent her crashing over the edge. Molten fire blasted up her spine, splintering across her brain in white light. She arched upwards with a hard, shaking groan, writhing with each aftershock his hands still fondling across her breasts sent coursing over her.
She had no idea how long she drifted, spent, boneless and sated. It could have been minutes or days. It didn't matter. She would've been happy to stay as long as possible in the bubble of contentment that surrounded her. She had never felt so thoroughly ravished and satiated before. An odd rustling sound pulled her from her trance. Reluctantly she cracked her eyes open to witness Daniel standing at the side of the bed, one knee bent on the surface, ripping open a small square package. He'd shed his swim shorts and was gloriously naked, his state of arousal pronounced. In fascination she watched him roll the sheath of plastic down over his rigid length. His eyes flickered shut and his breath quickened as his fingers lingered over several quick strokes downward to smooth the casing into place. She hadn't let him get even this far the last time. This time though, the fit of the sheath emphasized his shape, reminding her how long it had been since he'd filled her. The ache to have him moving inside her fluttered to life. She lifted her gaze to his. H eHis His eyes, hooded and almost black with arousal bore into hers.
He shook his head, "Not stopping Val," he said hoarsely, planting his hands at her waist, urging her further back on the bed.
She didn't need persuading. She shuffled backwards, easing herself flat to the bed's surface and letting her legs spread for him.
He moved onto the bed. "Gotta finish this," he growled, stretching out over her and settling into the cradle of her pelvis, "got me so hard…God, ya gushed all over my tongue," he muttered, dropping hot, open-mouth kisses along her throat, "needa be inside you…swear ta do what I gotta do when we get home…but right now…"
He entered her in a long heavy thrust.
"Ahhh… God," came out in a hard breath as he pulled out and then pushed back in another slow, deep thrust, "ohh fuucckk," dribbled out of his mouth in a hot and rough breath against her shoulder, "feels soo good….soo wet ," he lunged into her again, circling his hips, grinding against hers, "sooo fucking good."
He raised himself up on his arms far enough to offer her a soft, tender smile.
"Missed you…missed this," he whispered breathlessly, the rhythm of his pelvis striking across hers quickening.
"Me too," she said softly, leaning up to suck at his bottom lip.
His eyes closed, a low groan wafting out his mouth.
"Hey," she prodded, tapping a finger on his nose, "eyes open please…turn about's fair play after all."
His head came up and he made a show of opening his eyes.
"Better?" he smirked, the dimple in his cheek flashing.
Vala returned the smirk. "Much."
At first it felt a little like a game to her, almost a competition between them to see who would look away first. She kept expecting his eyes to flutter shut. Instead they stayed locked with hers. She tried to look away, sever the connection, but found herself more and more turned on by watching his eyes glaze over with arousal and his breath become a little more ragged each time he plunged back inside her. Then peripheral vision offered the sight of his biceps and shoulders flexing and tightening with the effort of holding himself about her; of his chest rubbing against her nipples while she felt his skin sliding over hers and the indistinct view of him thrusting into her. It was like she was watching them have sex. It was more erotic and intimate than anything she had ever done before. She wasn't sure she liked it. It had been one thing for her to watch him stroke and lick her body until she climaxed, but letting him watch her shatter around him made her feel more vulnerable to him than she'd ever allowed herself before. For a moment she considered cracking a joke or something…anything to break the tension, of what promised to be a complete surrender, building between them. She opened her mouth. Daniel repositioned his arms at the same moment shifting his angle upward. His pelvis struck across her mound. Heat throbbed between her legs. The laugh she'd been about to release turned into a choked groan. His eyes darkened with lust at the sound and he lunged into her again and again. Heavy moans tumbled from her mouth. The compulsion to grind her body against his, to rub her inner channel along his hot, rigid length blanked out any other thoughts. She wrapped her legs around his waist and bucked her hips upward to meet his. With a muffled groan, his mouth clamped onto hers, his tongue twisting into her mouth. She sucked at it, dragging her teeth across the surface. Heavy, harsh breaths flowed out his nose. His hips jerked, plunging into her, sharp and fast. She pulled away from him moments later, gasping for breath. She opened her eyes. His were barely an inch from hers, glassy black and hooded with hunger for her. She wasn't sure she'd ever seen him this mindlessly aroused before. She wasn't sure she ever had been either. She couldn't look away if she'd wanted to. All she could register was his relentless pistoning into her body, the heat in her groin coiling tighter and tighter, and the hard, hot groans they were exchanging each time their bodies ground together. She'd never experienced anything like it. They were so close they were breathing in unison, as if they were providing the air the other needed, as if they would both cease to exist if one of them stopped breathing. The effect of the sensation was to simply give herself to him. She curved up into the arc of his body, molding herself into the angles and contours of his, like puzzle pieces fitting together. The jolt of his hips grinding against her sent electric shocks racing up her spine. She tightened her legs across his ass, pulling him taut against her. He rocked into her; rough, fast strokes that made her body shake. The motion drew his eyes to the bounce of her breasts
"…fuckin'….sexy," he growled in between laboured breaths, "make… me….crazy…"
His head dropped to her chest. She watched his soft, full lips close over her nipple. The quick flick of his tongue against it was like the strike of a match. A sweet heated buzz erupted at her core. She clutched at him, moaning his name. His head lifted from her chest, his eyes, glazed with lust and love, fixed on hers. Deep groans spilled from his mouth as he pumped into her. Wave after wave of bliss, pulsating out from each fierce shove of his body into her, crashed through her. Shuddering against him, almost sobbing his name, she watched transfixed as his rough, frantic thrusts abruptly froze for a breathless second then with a sudden hard groan of her name, he lunged back into her, his body convulsing and throbbing deep inside her, his eyes losing all focus, and almost rolling back in his head.
For several long minutes there was no movement. He seemed as content to stay wrapped around her, gazing into her eyes, as she was. The only sound was the slowing and quieting of their ragged breathing. Leisurely, with a dreamy smile, she draped her arms around his neck. He responded with the rare, soft, open Jackson smile that lit his eyes like sunshine on water.
"You look like the cat that swallowed the cream."
"Mmmm," she murmured lazily, "think you were the one who actually swallowed the cream."
His smile twitched into a soft smirk. "I did," he replied, lowering his head to nuzzle gentle kisses down her throat, "and loved every moment…love the taste of you and the scent of you," he raised his head to look at her, his eyes shining with tenderness, "and love you…just you."
A sudden rush of gratitude and wonderment that this amazing man was truly, deeply in love with her brought a new wash of tears to her eyes. Unable to say anything past the knot in her throat she gave him a shaky smile. His brow furrowed.
"Hey why are you crying?" he said gently, wiping away one of the two tears seeping out of the corners of her eyes,
She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut to stem the tears now slipping out under her eyelids.
"God Vala ," he implored sadly, "please don't sweetheart...I can't stand seeing you cry…it just about kills me…I don't know how to make this better Val…I'm s…sorry," his voice softened and caught, "this didn't work out the way we wanted… I'm sorry if I let you down."
Her tears seemed to dry instantly. Vala opened her eyes to squint at him in puzzlement.
"You let me down? Daniel, what are you talking about?"
He dropped his gaze, idly fiddling with the curl of her dark hair by his fingers, "You heard what Carolyn said… my test results weren't quite right either," he shrugged, "could be my…uhhh, contribution was somehow flawed."
Vala shook her head with a sigh of affectionate exasperation at the faint flicker of remorse passing across his face. If there was guilt in the air Daniel would pick it up. She touched his face to draw his eyes back to hers.
"Daniel… " she started.
"Vala," he cut her off, his forehead creasing into a frown, "Sha're and I were together for a year and we never conceived.
Abruptly he pushed himself to his feet before she could form a response.
"'Be back," he muttered, catching the top of the thin sheath between his finger and thumb, "I gotta get rid of this thing before it slips off."
She watched him stride to the bathroom. She didn't know what to say. There were words she could use to try to reassure him but in the end she would just be uttering platitudes. It couldn't be denied that being married for a year without conceiving in a society that didn't make a practice of birth control was unusual. The truth was though they would never be able to know the real reasons why this had gone wrong for them. The only thing that mattered in the end was that they were still together and as long as they had each other they'd get through this.
The concept of a nap was pulling at her when the bed dipped under his weight. She rolled onto her side, and watched him tug a t-shirt over his head.
"Daniel?"
"Mmmm?" came from inside the t-shirt.
"What did you mean earlier?"
"Pretty cryptic Val," he said absently, distracted by cleaning his glasses, "when earlier exactly?"
"When you said you'd do what you needed to do when we got home."
He paused in putting his glasses back on, then he shrugged as he stood up, pulling his shorts back on at the same time.
"Figured when we got home I'd get a referral from Dr. Lam for a doctor who does vasectomies."
She sat up, putting a hand on his hip to get his attention.
"Daniel don't we need to talk about this?"
He glanced down at her, shaking his head, "Nothing to talk about as far as I'm concerned Vala. I understand for me it's a quick 'snip, snip' in the doctor's office. For you it's major surgery."
He turned away, snagging his watch off the nightstand. "I think you've had enough people messing around with your insides," he turned back to her, holding out his hand to pull her up from the bed, "c'mon time to get some lunch…that tour out to the ruins leaves at 1.