What Were You Thinking?
It might come of a surprise to you, but there are rules against what I did. These same rules bind you as they bound me, as they bind that idiot bird who's traipsing around Paris as of late wearing his wife's suit. I was one of the lucky ones. Retribution came swift.
The exact details of my banishment are irrelevant. I don't expect you to understand, don't expect you to feel anything but relief that this was a thing, that I'm out of your life or whatever. I know I am.
Hawkmoth's grin widens. He stretches his hand out, like he wants her to shake it, like he expects her to. Fingers beckoning and stuff. Expecting.
(There's something disgustingly graceful with the way he holds himself, regal and refined. Like he's a king or something. Like he's more than some old dude in a supervillain suit.)
She tenses up and her eyes flash from his mask to his cane, to his silver toed shoes and back to his mask. Tries to figure out who's under that costume. It's impossible to tell. Figures.
"What do you want?" She asks and tries to sound like she doesn't care but ends up coming off like she's completely petrified. Which she is. Petrified that is. Absolutely and wholeheartedly, can't feel her legs, heart pounding way too fast, petrified.
"What do you want?" He says. Purrs. "Poor Queen Bee, giving up her crown only to have it fire back in her face. "
(She squirms a little, and he grins even more. He's enjoying this way too much, she can tell by the tone of his voice, how condescending it is.)
"It's still not too late. I can get you your title back."
This is so stupid. She thinks. Like she knows better. She knows what happened the last time. (Still, she hesitates, because of course she wants her miraculous back, and of course she wants to be Queen Bee again.)
"I'm not letting you akumatize me okay?" She says, trying to keep her voice steady, and failing miserably. Not for the first time tonight, she wishes Zeezle were with her. That maybe she wouldn't have to face him like this alone.
He has this way of rolling his shoulders when he shrugs that makes her skin crawl, and she stumbles back a step, ready to bolt. He holds his hands up- cane and all- like he's about to surrender or something. It's disgustingly sardonic.
"Aren't there enough akuma?" He asks, waving his cane in little circles.
"You tell me."
"Five minutes." He says. "But in return I expect secrets- nothing too specific of course, I want to keep things vague."
He says this last bit with almost a laugh, like it's a game or something.
Still… it's tempting, and it's the closest thing to a chance Chloé's gonna get.
Fuck, this is so gonna backfire isn't it? Marinette's gonna kill her. Hell, Alya's gonna kill her.
(Not that she wouldn't mind all that much.)
"Fine" She says, grudgingly. "Ladybug wears too much pink and coordinates her lip gloss to her outfits. Also she goes to the same school that I do, but Idk what grade she's in so don't bother asking. Is that enough?"
It's only half a lie. She hopes it's enough to pass.
He pauses, and for a split second, she wonders if he's going back on it, if he's gonna akumatize her or something. A chill runs down her spine, and her legs go numb, like this was her only chance alright? She's not sure
"I look forward to doing business with you." He says, and holds out hand. She stares at his hand, before turning tail and breaking into a run.
(She feels so light headed… it's hard to breathe, like he's gone and sucked all the air out of the world.)
(She's lucky he didn't kill her.)
(Making devil deals in an ally is super shady- what was she thinking?)
"I knew your mother." Hawkmoth calls out, like that's supposed to make her trust him or something, and she pauses, midstep. Turns around slowly and stares him dead in the eye.
"I'm sorry." She says."That must have sucked."
She turns and runs, until the sound of Hawkmoth laughing fades and everything becomes quiet again.
Catching him detransform had been an accident.
By that time, my dear moth and I'd already exchanged secret identities, were meeting up on the weekends and drinking coffee while you and her son played at our feet.
So finding out that stupid bird was him, the man I'd heard so much about and not all of it good, well, you can imagine my disgust alright? Not all of it was jealousy, not all of it was some desperate ploy of a lonely woman trapped in a house too big with a woman she didn't quite want.
She needed to see who he was. I hadn't realized it would fix their marriage.
Hawkmoth keeps true to his promise.
She's running when it happens, the sky suddenly clear as thousands of butterflies turn whiter than moonlight, as their victims flicker back to their civilian forms.
Sabrina pauses, mid-hover, and looks around, almost as if in a trance. Her eyes grow wide. Like they're full of fear or something.
Good. Thinks Chloé. (She can't really help herself- it just slips out.) Fear me.
She doesn't know the akumas name. If she had to guess it would be some sort of angel pun, something cheesy, she isn't quite sure- (it's ridiculous for her to try and keep track okay? Like she remembers the Joker knock off, that dentist, Sleepless Beauty because she wouldn't stay dead, and a handful of others and maybe that's it.
Saving Grace, yes. The fanatic who decided they'd set themselves on fire and freaked out before they could do much damage.
Still, six winged, and ablaze, they land down in front of and stick out their hand. The fire extinguishes itself.
"Five minutes." They say, their voice as androgynous as their appearance. "Four now. Better be fast."
She gets it, and nods, before grabbing their hand and allowing them to lift her up.
And suddenly they're flying.
It's disgustingly undignified, and there's no way it'll work again, but she throws herself onto Sabrina, hoping that that by some miracle it actually does. She manages to latch herself around her waist.
Her weight drags them both down, Sabrina spinning in a desperate attempt not to fall as well as
She twists and turns, and tries jamming another one of Chloé's darts into her arms, but Chloé's not falling for that again, and kind of wiggles out of the way. She wraps her arms around Sabrina's waist tighter, and grasps wildly at her hair. She's trying to be gentle but Sabrina's making it hard on her.
The ground is getting closer and closer, faster and faster. She needs to make this quick.
(She's almost fine if this kills her.)
(Almost.)
Chloé wiggles her way to Sabrina's front the best she can, and Sabrina's wings shoot out again, struggling to steady them. Her hands claw at Chloé's, trying to tear her off.
Light breaks through the second she tears her miraculous free. Sabrina's detransformation light maybe, or whatever akuma's decided to linger leaving or something, she isn't too sure, and honestly does not care, like they have bigger problems now. More immediate problems.
Like that they're falling. Actually falling, the ground suddenly much too close, much too soon, but there's a flash of black, and one of the Cloak-and-Daggers has scooped them up in their arms. Sets them down softly. (Chloé had never thought the day would come when she'd be thanking Hawkmoth but he's gone and saved her life in more ways than one tonight so she supposes she has to.)
Sabrina's transformation falls apart as well. She's shaking, practically bawling too and clawing at Chloé's legs. Snot drips down her face. It's disgusting.
"You can't do this!" She screeches between sobs. "You gave it to me! It was a gift!"
Chloé stares at her for a second, trying to catch her breath. Then she pulls out all the stray red hairs from her comb, (How good it feels to actually be able to say that outloud!) and twists it into her hair. Her pocket grows heavy, and she realizes it's Zeezle, and smiles softly. She's forgotten how nice it feels to have Zeezle press against her like that. How comforting it is.
She kneels close to Sabrina. Pulls her into a hug and pins her arms down to keep her from attacking her.
Sabrina goes limp in her arms. Kind of snuggles into it. (A part of her wonders if Sabrina is almost as desperate for human contact as Chloé is. It's amazing that this is what they have in common.)
"I hate you." Sabrina whispers, her voice hoarse. She wrestles and tries to rip Chloé's comb from her, but Chloé grabs Sabrina's wrist and twists it a little. Not enough to actually hurt her- just enough to stop her trying again.
Yeah well me too. Join the club.
"I'm sorry." She says, and actually sort of means it. "I deserve that."
"I had everything under control- why didn't you let me have this? Why'd you- why;d you have to take it away?"
She's wailing again, and beating Chloé's legs with her fists like some sort of little child, and shaking, until her words are barely comprehensible.
Chloé looks down at her again, and tries to think of something to say back but she can't think of anything. She tries to smile, tries to think of a way to gloat, or rub it in Sabrina's face, but all she feels is numb,
Like, Sabrina's making it really hard to feel good about getting her miraculous.
Like, at the very least she should feel relieved or something.
This has been a long night. She thinks she'd rather just go home and sleep for a year or five.
She sighs, once again, and closes her eyes for a second.
"You need a ride home or something?" She asks. "I can call my driver if you want."
Sabrina brushes a strand of hair out of her face, and tucks it behind her ear. She starts to stand-without Chloé's help because apparently she's still not ready to let bygones be bygones or whatever quite yet. Understandable. She supposes, although it would be easier if Sabrina would just take her damn hand and-
Fuck.
No. He couldn't. They made a deal- she told him secrets- he said he'd give her five minutes- he wasn't supposed to-
The sky grows black again, darkness covering them both like a death shroud. Only this time, no one's screaming, not even her not even Sabrina, dead silent. Corpse silent.
.Who knows who cares, why does it even matter, this night's gone on far too long as it is, why can't he just let her have a day off? What kind of opportunistic, sick bastard decides he's gonna lay siege on Paris before they've even started to recover?
She should have figured he'd pull something like this.…
I didn't bother taking anything with me. I wanted to leave Paris the same way I'd arrived, wanted a fresh start.
God, I just wanted to forget.
It's sort of funny how things stay the same.
Chloé doesn't hesitate, or actually she kind of does, but she snaps out of it a second later, and hoists Sabrina back onto her feet. It's a little too rough- she needs to be more careful- good guys aren't supposed to hurt the people they're trying to save- and Sabrina winces, and lets out a soft whimper, but she doesn't fight it.
As much as Sabrina's hating Chloé right now, she doesn't hate her enough to die out of spite. So that's something.
She doesn't even fight it when Chloé starts dragging her by the arm through Paris.
They're both tired, they're both clearly exhausted, and panting, but the streets are filled with reactivated akuma victims, and- deal with Hawkmoth or not- she's not willing to find out what happens when they catch them both. Somehow, they manage to duck into what's left of a storefront, and crawl beneath a rack of clothes. Chloé's heart is pounding way too hard in her chest, and she tenses up, hoping desperately that they can't hear her pulse. Next to her, Sabrina's squeezed her eyes shut,her body rocking with every snotty sob.
A part of her wishes that Sabrina would just learn how to cry quietly or something, Another part of her thinks she should just let Sabrina get caught, that it's all her fault anyways why not just let her take the fall.
Instead Chloé just sits a little closer to Sabrina, until their shoulders are touching, and awkwardly pats her hair. Like before, Sabrina kind of wiggles in. Her bravo from before is gone.
I took everything from her. Chloé thinks, and the guilt in her stomach coils tighter.
"It's alright." Chloé says. "There's no point in being afraid, jeez Sabrina."
Says the girl who's just one loud bang away from breaking into sobs herself.
She continues combing Sabrina's hair with her fingers until Sabrina stops shaking, and her crying eases into soft sniffles. Then, careful not to disturb her, she crawls out of their hiding place, and stands up warily.
She peels her jacket off too- like there's really no way of keeping it when it's covered in stray red hairs and tears and stuff- and places it around Sabrina's shoulders like a blanket. There's really no point in keeping the necklace anymore but she stuffs that in the pocket of her pants anyways. She holds on to the letters, not entirely sure if she should burn them or throw them out or what, Maybe she'll keep them or something. Maybe she'll give them back to Fu or something,
Sabrina's staring at her. Her eyes are wide with something- like maybe it's amazement or hope or that disgusting sycophantic faithfulness she hid behind for years, or maybe it's hate, not like she can tell the difference anymore- and Chloé finds her face starting to turn red.
"What." She says, and tries to frown. "Stop giving me that look."
Sabrina looks away quickly. "Nothing Chloé!" She squeaks, and at that point Chloé's certain she's lying. "It's nothing I swear!"
Chloé wonders if it's fear. Then she wonders why- literally surrounded by akuma- Sabrina's scared of her.
It should be ridiculous but actually it's terrifying.
"I'm not gonna hurt you or anything…" She mutters, then blows a stray hair out of her face. "Look just stay here okay? I'm gonna go fix things. Probably not going to back anytime soon." She moves around the clothes on the rack until Sabrina's completely hidden, and takes a deep breath. Wills herself to calm down.
"You can keep the jacket by the way. " She says, one step out what's left of the door. It's just loud enough for Sabrina to hear it. "Hope you aren't allergic."
Catching him detransform had been an accident.
By that time, my dear moth and I'd already exchanged secret identities, were meeting up on the weekends and drinking coffee while you and her son played at our feet.
So finding out that stupid bird was him, the man I'd heard so much about and not all of it good, well, you can imagine my disgust alright? Not all of it was jealousy, not all of it was some desperate ploy of a lonely woman trapped in a house too big with a woman she didn't quite want.
She needed to see who he was. I hadn't realized it would fix their marriage.
Heroes aren't supposed to worry about their feet, but she's been running around all night, and she's finally got her miraculous so she's not as preoccupied and okay so maybe Paris is still under seige or whatever, but it's Hawkmoth and they had a deal, so it's not not like it's a big deal or whatever. Like she can fix this. She can't fix the blisters forming on her heels.
She wishes she'd brought sensible shoes. Wishes she owned sensible shoes.
Chloé tells this to Zeezle, but Zeezle's gone and fallen asleep in Chloé's pant pocket. She can hear her soft snores in between Chloé's pants and it's more than a little calming. If she weren't running for her life, if she weren't trying desperately to avoid the akuma patrolling the streets, if she were at home and safe and her life wasn't at risk, she'd close her eye for a bit and maybe take a nap.
Jeez now she's wishing she can do that too.
Hawkmoth is strangely methodical about his methods. Akuma patrol the streets, akuma break into shops, akuma jumping out of alleys. She's already almost walked into a (flock? Posse? battalion?) of them twice already and it nearly gave her a premature heart attack. Super inconvenient. She tells Zeezle, who isn't particularly paying much attention but snuggles deeper into her pocket so that must have counted as something.
(Her heart's still racing, and she's trying not to cry a little.)
(That was too close. She needs to be more careful- she needs to take this more seriously.)
There's an abandoned vendor's cart- like there's a lot of them, just toppled over and spilling out onto the streets- but this one's different, this one's important,
This one's also teeming with akuma.
Goddamit. Go figure or whatever. Luck and stuff.
She ducks inside an alley, and behind a dumpster, trying not to cringe at the scent, then pulls out Zeezle as gently as possible. Shakes her awake carefully.
Zeezle blinks, blearily eyes but still stern as ever. (This is surprisingly also calming. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't missed this, All of this.)
Still she's silent, and Chloé thinks maybe she's giving her the silent treatment or something.
(Thinks maybe Sabrina could have hurt her somehow. That maybe she's been traumatized.)
Chloé closes her eyes, and pinches the bridge of her nose. Then opens them a few seconds later.
"Look." She says, as loud as she thinks she'll be able to get away with. " I know I've done some really shitty things like- always, but I need to fix this, and I need to transform for that."
There's silence again and Chloé winces, wondering if it was enough, if it was too much, but then Zeezle nods, and gives a slow look at the vendars cart filled with salty, salty goodness. She's probably starving. It's gotta be tempting.
"It's not ideal…" She says, and Chloé almost screams from joy. "But it'll do. Give me time."
She shoots Zeezle a smile, and whispers thank you. Watches her make a beeline towards food before running out herself, full force.
(She hopes Sabrina treated her well….. Hopes she doesn't like Sabrina more than Chloé.)
"Hey!"
The akuma freeze in their tracks, and turn towards her slowly. Still there's silence, and she swallows back a wave of panic, and says it again a little louder a little more confident.
"We had a deal Hawkmoth." She says, and something laughs. Someone.
It's like Stoneheart all over again, akuma flocking together and forming a face, grinning ghoulishly, eyes like gaping holes that glare down, condescending and eerie, and honestly? Melodramatic.
It's significantly less impressive this time around. She's seen the man behind the curtain. It's not like some fancy theatrics are gonna scare her shitless again.
(The akumas themselves however… she suppresses a shudder.)
Still she can't help but be a little insulted. She'd thought they'd reached a point in their relationship where they could talk things out face to face or something. He'd known her mom after all. Probably fought side by side, against evil or good or something. Doesn't this make him like, some kind of surrogate uncle once removed, or that melodramatic cousin that starts shit at every family meeting? (She's never actually gone to a reunion, never really interacted with anyone but her father, but she's certain that's how extended family works.)
She feels Zeezle crawl back into her pocket, and she grins slowly. "Then you leave me no choice." She says softly. And then...
"Transform me!" She screams, and suddenly everything is warm again.
There's golden light, bright and familiar and surging over her body, a thousand and one hexagons, her hair pulling up into something other than a huge rat's nest, her arms outstretched like a target, like a god preparing for ascension, like someone a thousand times better than Chloé Bourgeois.
(But it's her! But it's you! But Queen Bee and Chloé are one and the same, that Chloé can be every bit of a hero that Queen Bee is, that Queen Bee's got every one of Chloé's faults and then some.)
She's grinning wildly, can't help it, can't fight it.
(She's forgotten how much she missed this, how much she still misses this. She's a sucker for power and she knows it.)
And then it hits her. Literally.
It's blunt. She knows that, she can feel that, can feel the impact ripple across her body in slow motion. She's got part of her suit covering her, and it protects her from the blade itself, but the force knocks her back, and her transformation is ripped off of her in seconds. She gasps for air, her eyes bulging with fear or maybe panic, or maybe something else much much worse, who knows it's happening much too fast much too painfully, and she stumbles off of the cart, and onto her knees, and oh fuck is she bleeding? Is she crying too? She thinks so, she might be yeah that feels about right, and there's nothing pretty about it at all. She can feel the snot start to drip down her face, and also she's shaking, and also she might be surrounded.
Fuck.
Her miraculous has been knocked practically out of her hair, and her hands shoot up to anchor it.
She starts to stand, her legs wobbly and weak, her resolve gone, then drops back down again.
They close in on her faster then she thought they would, until the sky's completely blocked out and she screams. Their hands reach for her, and her miraculous, grasping and grabbing, and she curls up even tighter and covers her hair with her arms. Her chest is hurting like crazy, and she
squeezes her eyes shut. Without meaning to she cries out again. It's practically instinct at this point- she can't help it.
(Detransformation hurts like a bitch. She's barely got the energy to fight back, barely can keep her head up. Is this the end? All this and what? Nothing.)
Dust is swirling, hands are clawing, the world is spinning. Faster and faster and faster.
Suddenly there's light. It's white and practically blinding, and there's a flash of red and- a hand? A different hand, a red hand that's outstretched and welcoming, and not clawing away at her arms, trying to rip away at her miraculous. She looks up, and without thinking, grabs onto it and pulls herself to her feet. It pulls her close to it's chest- Ladybug's chest- hands wrapped around her waist like a bad romance cover, dangerously and fantastically close. Like if it wasn't Marinette, and if she wasn't terrified right now it would feel great.
Still, she finds herself smiling a little. Laughing a little.
With a flick of Ladybug's wrist, they swing into the air, flying straight through Hawkmoth's face full of butterflies, and sending them scattering.
It's surprisingly satisfying to watch.
a/n This chapter ended up updating a little later than I was going for originally, because the first draft of flashbacks for this chapter ended up painting Moira as a lot more possessive towards Florence as I was originally going for? It felt like I was building into negative stereotypes, and it seriously squicked me out.
Look, Chloe's mother is bad (? problematic?) because she neglects her daughter. She's not bad because she's attracted to women, (I headcanon her as demisexual actually haha) and honestly the idea that I could imply this with what I was writing made me a little sick to my stomach. I've tried to fix it a little, and hopefully make her a bit more sympathetic, but if I have any readers that I have offended, I'm very sorry and I hope to be able to write some good representation in the future. (And possibly into what's left of this mess of a fic if it fits in a healthy way.)
I'm probably over thinking things or something, I just really really want to paint Moira as a fairly grey figure, and didn't want parts of her that are unrelated to her morality adhering to negative (and possibly homophobic) stereotypes. IDK.