"It's you Kururugi, yes?"
Kururugi said nothing as he stood mere yards away from Lelouch. This was it. There was nothing to be done now but arrest him. Finally, after all this time, he would bring Lelouch Lamperouge back where he belonged: a cold, dark cell.
Lelouch smiled lightly. "I knew you would be coming shortly. Truly you are the law's most prominent officer." Kururugi remembered the last time he had said something like that. He didn't even call him "dog" now.
"Kururugi." the pleading is in his tone. The brunette scowled. What now?
"This young man right here. His only crime was that of ignorance. He's been shot and he needs a doctor's care immediately. Please, just give me another hour and I promise I'm yours."
He snapped. "No more excuses, no more stalling! I will not be swayed again! You said it yourself at the barricade, I owe you nothing, so what's stopping me from turning you in?"
"Please."
"Your talk of mercy is becoming very old."
At that, Lelouch lost his temper. His yes flared with anger and his face became almost contorted. Kururugi forced himself not to flinch. He had never seen this man angry Annoyed yes, defiant plenty of times, irritated too, but never angry. It was frightening. Not that Kururugi would ever admit it.
"Look down, Kururugi! He is literally standing in his grave! Would you condemn this young man to death when he has done no wrong?! Damn it all, I'm begging you, allow me to help him!" he shouted.
Kururugi's face was shadowed, his eyes hidden. Lelouch tensed himself for a moment before Kururugi pointed to the road.
"Take him Lamperouge, before I change my mind. I will be waiting," he looked Lelouch straight in the eye, "number 0."
Lelouch frowned at the former title before throwing Rai over his other shoulder and hurrying down the road.
He paced about that stretch of land.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
Back and Forth.
Who was he, that devil in disguise?! He had me in his grasp, but he chose to let me go? He could have gotten me out of his life for good; vengeance was hid but he gave me my life! Damn him.. damn him! How can I live in the debt of a thief?! I cannot yield; I am the Law and the Law will not be mocked! I'll spit his pity right back in his face! There is nothing we share; it is either Lelouch Lamperouge or Suzaku Kururugi.
Kururugi's legs began to take him away from the spot and he walked all over the street until he was near the city's bridge. It went over to the other side over a freezing frowned, looking down at his hand listlessly.
How can I allow Lamperouge to hold dominion over me? I've hunted him all of this time, but when he had the opportunity to finally end it, he gave me my life, my freedom. He punched a nearby wall, ignoring the blood that started to immediately seep from the scrapes.
I should have died then and there! It was his right to take revenge, as well as my right to bear it! Instead I'm living, but it might as well be hell!
Kururugi's thoughts swirled in his head like the water in the river. and a disturbing thought entered in the midst. Could... could Lamperouge be believed? Shall his sins be forgiven? Shall his crimes be reprieved?
Kururugi shivered. It wasn't that cold out, but that wasn't why he was shaking. He was doubting. He never doubted. His heart should be stone, but it trembled now with doubt.
Not since all those years ago, when his idealism was trampled on by life's cruel reality.
But if that were true-!
Had... had he been wrong all this time as well? If that were true, then how many people like Lamperouge had he taken down? How many good people had he condemned?
The world he knew was now completely foreign to him.
Was Lamperouge from Heaven or hell? And was he even aware of the blow that he had dealt to him, Kururugi, with his mercy? With those words, he had dealt him killing blow after killing blow to him.
He looked down at the water rushing past below the bridge. It was pitch black with nothing showing below it.
I am reaching but I fall. The stars cannot guide me, even now. I... I must escape, from the world of Lelouch Lamperouge. There's nowhere I can turn, no way to go on!
The next day, a hubbub arose from the previous days of the June Revolution, as it was so colorfully dubbed. A group of women were doing laundry as they talked of it.
"Did you see them going off to fight?"
"They were only children behind the barricade. They didn't last even to morning."
"They were only school-boys, most never even held a gun before. Yet, they fought for a new world that they thought would come up like the sun."
"Where's that new world now, huh? What has the fighting accomplished, huh?"
The world continued to turn. Minutes into hours. Hours into days. Then the days into years.
You go around and around, dancing in a circle of blood and hate and tears and sweat and words and you come back to the very beginning each time.
Nothing ever changes. Nothing ever can.
This I thought of of Javert. It never made sense to me that he would kill himself just because he was conflicted about Valjean sparring him. So I thought: Was it because he thought he was wrong? That his ideals all this time were flawed? That there were plenty of other people like Valjean that he condemned?
So basically, he's having a crisis of faith.
It is an unfortunate truth about humans. We're so warped, we go around in that circle of blood. We never learn from our mistakes, we never move forward. We kill each other, hurt each other and for what? Humans, as a species, are truly ugly.
And yet, we're beautiful too. We live, we love, we care. We make friends, we support one another in times of need. We can grow, we can think, we can form our own character and philosophies. We can experience. We can know.
Beautiful, ugly, blessed, damned.
We are human.