Chapter XXVI

…

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Peeta grunts, shutting his locker door.

"I'm sorry."

He looks to me puzzled, adjusting the strap of his backpack to fit perfectly over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I repeat again, "…for turning into a pompous ass yesterday when you mentioned- when you were concerned about my well-being."

"Katniss-"

"Peeta," I plead with him, doing my best to keep it together, "Let me get this out."

He solemnly nods okay. "Okay."

I lean against my locker and slide down till I sat down on the floor against my locker door and Peeta does the same. I place bag to my right and then twist my hands together in lap.

"My dad died three days go, it was the anniversary... I was eleven and Prim was five. He was coming home from the construction site late when some teenager who on the phone rammed into the car. He died from internal bleeding… It wasn't painless. Mom shut down and it was basically just Prim and I. Haymitch stepped in… I guess that's what you would call it; he gave us money every month to stay afloat, "checked in" once in a blue moon... I bought groceries and clothes and forged mom's signature on bill and school forms. I took over, I grew up like that, I took care of Prim."

I take a deep breath, squeezing my hands in one another.

"It took me a little over two years to get comfortable to be in a car again. It took my mother four years to leave a three mile radius around the house. Prim never remembered my, our father… Three days ago was the six year anniversary of his death."

I take another breath.

"Gale's father died three weeks later at the construction site when a beam went down. My neighbor died of old age the year that followed. Three years ago Sae's husband died of a heart attack. A man got shot in a hunting accident in the valley two springs ago. A house fire took a family after that blizzard last winter… And then- and then Prim got cancer and my mother left. I learned that cars aren't the only things that kill over the years. I learned that death came in all shapes and sizes. And I decided I wasn't going to worry about it…"

I glance up him and he looks down at me into my glossy eyes.

"I'm not afraid to die Peeta, its bound to happen. It happened to my dad and Gale's and Prim and Sae's husband and… everyone. I'm going to keep living the way I always have. And I'm sorry if you don't agree, but- but I'm going to keep doing… I will die one day, Peeta and I'm okay with that."

I fall silent and Peeta doesn't speak up. We stay like that in the vacant hall for minutes on end. It's not till fifteen, twenty minutes pass that Peeta stand up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder before reaching his hand out to me.

So reaching out for his hand, he takes mine and his and pulls me off the ground. I pick my messenger bag off the floor and strap it over my shoulder. Then both of us standing there ready to leave, Peeta wraps his arm around my shoulders and we begin to walk.

"Okay."

"Okay?" I ask surprised.

"Yeah," he smiles, "I get what you're saying and yeah, okay. Everything's okay."

…

I sat on the island in the Mellark kitchen. Mr. Mellark shuffled around the room, making trays of food and checking the oven every few minutes. And Peeta had gone to get a few movies moments ago.

As Mr. Mellark opens the oven for the fifth time to check on the mini pizzas he was making I ask, "Can I do something?"

He shuts the stove, looking up at me. "You're stubborn."

I smile. "I know." I had asked him numerous times since I had gotten to the house if there was anything for me to do. "Can I do something?"

He laughs, "Okay, okay. Can you pour that bag of cheese puffs into a bowl and then take them into the living room?"

I nod my head, hopping off the counter I get to work.

Cheese puffs. Check. Cookies. Check. Grapes. Check. Pizzas. Check. Soda. Check… And then in no time everything and anything that had been cooked or possibly needed from the kitchen was seated out on the coffee table in the living from.

Mr. Mellark gave me a smile. "Thanks for the help."

I nodded my head, giving him a small smile in response; and then we fell silent.

Its only after a few minutes go by that Mr. Mellark speaks. "I'm sorry about your father."

I look to him and stare for a short moment before nodding my head, remaining silent. We remain silent for minutes on end again before this time, I speak up.

"Did you know about that?"

He nods his head adding, "And Peeta mentioned it earlier."

And for some reason what he says triggers something in the back of my head causing me to ask, "Did Peeta really ask you about me when we were little?"

"First day of… kindergarten," he smiled, "I think that was the first time." He pauses, leaning back against the sink, across from me. "Yeah, the first day of kindergarten, that was the first time I had talked to your father in years."

I smile, "So you knew my father?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, no. I knew of him, who he was. We were in the same grade during school, but I suppose we weren't… we didn't hang out in the same crowd." He paused looking to me. "I got to know him though a little more so when I got older and took over the bakery… He would stop by on the way home from his job at the construction company sometimes to buy you and your sister cookies. We would talk about you kids or whatever was going on in town or sometimes about something from out personal lives… He was a great man Katniss."

He pauses again, but this time when he opens his mouth to talk, the back door in the kitchen creeks open as Peeta walks into the room. Mr. Mellark makes out half a word which makes little to no sense at all. I remain silent. And Peeta opens his mouth only to quickly shut it as he looks at us completely… puzzled.

"Hey." He says slowly.

"Hi," I smile.

"Did I miss out on something?"

I smile, "You were a cute kid."

"Dad," he groans getting Mr. Mellark to let out a smile.

"I didn't show her any of your butt pictures."

"What," I practically scream, "There's butt pictures!?"

"Dad," he says in a stern voice.

Mr. Mellark puts his hands up in surrender. "I'm going to the living room."

I let out a laugh and Mr. Mellark smiles, shaking his head as he walks into the other room. Peeta shuts the door behind him before walking towards me.

"You're evil sometimes," he tells me, looping his arm around me.

"I know."

"Is there anything else I show know," he asks.

"I'm stubborn by your father."

"That's not anything knew," he laughs, teasing me.

…

"Peeta," I hear a voice say somewhere through the darkness, "I'm going up. No- no… no anything."

The couch shifts and I hear s footsteps fleeting only to stop when another voice speaks. "Dad." Its familiar, smooth, heartwarming. Its Peeta's voice. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I make out the other, Mr. Mellark's voice respond.

"Do you think Mr. Everdeen would have approved of me?"

There's a silence that follows Peeta's question. Peeta holds his breath. I can't hear Mr. Mellark say a word or even move. And I stay curled up on Peeta's lap.

The silence drags on and it scares me. All I want to do is tell Peeta yes, yes that I believe my father would approve of him and even if he didn't I wouldn't care. But I can't. I can't seem to get my body to surface the darkness it's trapped under. Yet more time passes, but when I feel Peeta move I hear him say, "Thanks dad."

So with that I assume Mr. Mellark had given Peeta some sort of response through a nod of the head or sign or something.

And Mr. Mellark responds, "No problem son. 'Night."

With that I listen as Mr. Mellark's footsteps leave the room. Then with Mr. Mellark gone, I feel Peeta lean over and then hear the click of a few buttons. The background noise ceases and Peeta leans back. He loops one arm under my knees and the other around my back and stands up. I curl into his chest and he begins to move through the house. We leave the room and go upstairs and down a hall. The next thing I know, he is lying me down on something soft as he places my head on a pillow and a blanket on my lower half. Peeta then lies down beside me, wrapping his arms around me as I curl into him.

We stay like that for a while. I drift off again deeper into the darkness and I assume Peeta does to. Yet before I am full submerged into the dark depths I swear I hear Peeta say the L-word again.

Love.

What was going on?

...

Hey... So I haven't been updating a lot between work and whatnot and I'm sorry. I'm going to try to update at least once every two weeks... I'm sorry for not updating as often though. Thank you for reading!