Chapter Twenty-six: The Bottom's Bottom
Mamoru had done a lot of thinking, almost alone in that treedome. First and foremost, he hadn't meant to hurt Usagi. He wanted to keep his coughing blood a secret from her, Chibi-Usa, and everyone else so he wouldn't slow them down. Couldn't show weakness to them or his enemies.
Mamoru wasn't supposed to worry Usagi, but he made things worse when he kept his problems to himself.
He couldn't keep holding everything in and strengthen his relationship with Usagi at the same time. Fate demanded that they be together, but their being together for centuries to come wouldn't be pleasant without trust. Fate didn't say anything about the quality of their relationship, so Usagi and Mamoru had to work on the quality themselves.
Should he go up, in the tree where she ached?
He had said that he wanted to stay to be with Usagi, but he wasn't with her now. Sure, he was in the same…dome as her, but he wasn't near her, caressing her, comforting her. They may as well be strangers. Usagi might think him to be a stranger now. After all, if he hadn't told her about his coughing fits, what else was he hiding from her?
Mamoru couldn't just walk up there and fix everything with a kiss. It would take a while for Usagi and Mamoru to mend their relationship. They still loved each other, but something had gone missing when Mamoru coughed in front of everyone, which was the worst part. He hadn't revealed this problem in front of only Usagi. Everyone had been around when he started coughing. Everyone had seen the cracks fissure their relationship.
The thing was, Mamoru was only keeping his coughing a secret because, not only did he not want to worry Usagi, but he also thought he could solve the coughing himself. Lately, he'd been dreaming about a desolate, gray, dead place called Elysion, about Helios seeking release from his cage there, imploring Mamoru to find the Golden Crystal before their enemies did. He'd thought his dreams to be connected to his coughing; if he could find the Golden Crystal, perhaps the coughing would stop.
Mamoru had asked Helios if he knew of any clues concerning the Golden Crystal's whereabouts, but Helios hadn't been able to help. Perhaps the Golden Crystal could help Helios appear outside of dreams. Regardless, Helios had appeared to and saved Chibi-Usa in Bikini Bottom, of all places, showing that the Pegasus had some power left.
Mamoru was too focused on his past life and his enemies to focus on Usagi sometimes—why his and Usagi's relationship wasn't as strong as it could be.
Never mind his feelings. Needed to go up there and comfort her. Hopefully, she was willing to talk to him.
The treedome's door creaked upon. Mamoru cringed, tried to hide his disappointment from SpongeBob, Patrick, Chibi-Usa, Hotaru, and Haruka entering, SpongeBob and Patrick skipping inside. Maybe the sea creatures' good spirits meant that they had destroyed the Dead Moon Circus or at least found traces of their enemies' whereabouts.
The Guardians didn't seem happier than usual, though.
"How did it go?" Mamoru said, SpongeBob and Patrick holding hands, dancing in a circle.
"We didn't find them," Haruka said. "We went in the direction they flew when Usagi blasted them but didn't see any trace of them. Only two fish said that they had seen them but couldn't remember where they had gone. The fish said that they had gone to their happy place when they had seen one with a whip. Sounds naughtier to us than it probably does to them. When Michiru and I…" She glanced at Chibi-Usa and Hotaru. "We do have children here."
"We have children here in more ways than one." Eyes narrow, Hotaru watched SpongeBob and Patrick jumping in place.
"Why are they so happy?" Mamoru said. Had the Dead Moon Circus' powers whisked them to their happy place, too?
"Some fish watched them fight at the Poseidome and, apparently, the fish didn't trust them before. But now they have faith that they can rescue Bikini Bottom from the robots."
That's right, Hotaru and Haruka hadn't been around when that female fish had declared that the robot issue was SpongeBob's fault. The fish were finally starting to believe in SpongeBob and the humans. Patrick didn't care what other fish thought but was happy because SpongeBob was happy.
"Plus, they're happy because we stopped by Shady Shoals Rest Home and saw Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. I didn't know there were humans down here before we arrived, but SpongeBob explained their origin stories to us." She crossed her arms, drumming her fingers on her elbow. "Quite…interesting. Anyhow, they said that robots had taken over their Mermalair. SpongeBob said that we already decided to go down there and clear out the robots. They said that they hadn't seen the Dead Moon Circus at all."
"Mermaid Man seems confused," Haruka said. "Thank goodness Barnacle Boy has some sense, or else we would've been there all day, hearing about tapioca unlocking the ninth dimension, whatever the hell that means."
The door opened once more. The other half of the Sailor Team, Makoto, Minako, Sandy, Rei, Michiru, Ami, and Setsuna, walked into the treedome.
"Oh, the rest of you are here already." Minako rubbed her shoulder. "Not surprising. It feels like a ton of time has passed since we left."
Not enough time for Mamoru. If only he could've gone into the tree to start making amends with Usagi.
Was Usagi going to join the rest of the Team by herself, or would Mamoru have to goad her? He shouldn't worry about her. With a plastered-on smile, she'd find the strength to accompany them. Wouldn't leave her friends to fight without her.
SpongeBob's eyes lit up at his friends. "Hey, everyone." He shrugged. "We couldn't find the circus."
Patrick pouted. "I really wanted to play, too."
"We searched far and wide, but we were unsuccessful."
"We didn't go that far at all," Chibi-Usa said.
"I have a feeling that we'll see plenty of the Dead Moon Circus in the next few hours." Mamoru eyed Rei. "Do you sense anything?"
Rei's eyes grew distant. "It seems like they've split up, but I can't detect where they went exactly."
Minako's frown deepened. "More trouble for us. Now we have to find them separately."
"Could be good, though," Haruka said. "We won't have as many of them to fight at once."
Rustling from the tree. The door on the tree's trunk opened, revealing Usagi. Silence fell, everyone staring at Usagi. The least anyone could do to make the situation less awkward was to speak.
"Hey, there." Sandy took out a remote control from wherever these creatures stashed things on their person and then pressed the button. Wood stairs extended from the tree. Usagi, face bright, walked down the stairs. Sandy must keep tissues in her tree, or else Usagi's face would be tear-stained.
Sure enough, Usagi forced a smile. "Hi, everyone. How did things go?"
SpongeBob shook his head. "No good here. Except we did see Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy." He saluted no one, and a wind that affected only him blew his tie sideways. "They gave us the honor, privilege, and responsibility of saving their Mermalair from robots."
Patrick jabbed a thumb into his chest. "They were lookin' at me, not you. They want me to go down there."
Whipping out round glasses from his pocket and wiping them with a handkerchief, SpongeBob adopted a British accent. "I believe you need your eyes checked, good sir. He was speaking to moi. Besides, we already decided where we'd go. A game of Rock-Paper-Scissors means fair is fair."
Patrick kicked at the grass. "Darn. No one can argue with a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. Harrumph."
"Oh, my goodness," Rei said under her breath. "I have to be stuck with a man-child who's bitter from losing a stupid game."
Haruka slapped Rei's shoulder. "Good luck, hon."
Mamoru gazed at Usagi, who kept the smile glued on her face. "So, uh, how'd the robots look out there?"
Usagi flashed Mamoru a glare and then smiled, like she was questioning why he was speaking to her now if he didn't bother speaking to her when it mattered. "Everything seems like the same old, same old out there." Her jaw tightened. "I didn't see the Dead Moon Circus."
The Dead Moon Circus likely had something to do with Mamoru's cough, so she wanted to defeat the Circus. Despite her anger, she sought the best for him.
"Let's get this over with." Rei faced the door. "The sooner, the better."
Patrick and Minako skipped to either side of her, hooked their arms in her arms, made her dance in a circle like they were square dancing, Rei moving like a marionette.
"Yay," Patrick said. "I'll be fine since you light up my life, Rei."
That was the still glowing Michiru, but Rei kept her mouth closed. If anyone else glowed, then Rei would tell Patrick to paste himself to her hip instead, but Rei wouldn't dare aggravate Michiru.
Time to iron things out with Usagi while fighting off the robots. With Makoto, Haruka, and Sandy tagging along. Three third wheels. Mamoru couldn't ask to spend time alone with Usagi after blowing his chance earlier. He couldn't slow everyone down, especially with the Dead Moon Circus lurking about.
Mamoru had to find a way to heal their relationship. Somehow.
Rei was squished.
More uncomfortable than she had been when she'd ridden the taxi to the downtown area. This time, she rode a red, fish-shaped bus, sitting in the small seat beside Minako. The seats were only but so large—things in Japan were small, but Bikini Bottom took smallness to another level since the fish were small. Even though the humans had shrunk when they'd been transported to Bikini Bottom, they were larger than most of the fish.
"Goin' to Rock Bottom?" the bus driver asked when Rei, Patrick, Michiru, and Minako had first boarded.
"Sure am," Patrick said. "Rocks rule."
Was Rock Bottom a place full of rocks, or another town, separate from Bikini Bottom? No surprise if it were rock-filled. Seems like places would be named literally in Bikini Bottom.
"Just a warning. Bus service is limited since those gosh darn robots took over. If you go down to Rock Bottom, you might not be able to come back up for a few hours."
Minako bit her lip. "A few hours, huh? Well, we can fly back to Bikini Bottom once we're finished in Rock Bottom."
Michiru remained quiet, elegant. Even if she wore a deep sea dive suit, she'd be elegant and graceful. Hopefully, Rei would be like Michiru one day.
Rei's temper would get her in trouble, though.
She'd made a lot of progress since arriving in Bikini Bottom. She had begun to tolerate and work pretty well with Patrick. A feat by itself.
But Minako was with them, too. Rei could stomach only one of them at a time.
Thankfully, Michiru would inject sanity into their team, make it easier for Rei to endure the insanity that was Minako and Patrick.
However, Rei tolerated Usagi and Minako at the same time, especially when studying. Since she attended a different school, Rei didn't need to be with her friends when they were studying. She told her friends that she came to their study sessions because she had free time, but she actually came because she enjoyed their company. Couldn't kill her reputation that easily.
If Minako could hear Rei's thoughts, she'd tease, "The ice princess has melted" or "The princess has graced us with her presence and approval." Rei wasn't as stuck up as Minako believed. Minako just did some immature and stupid things that warranted sharp responses.
Minako's behavior didn't keep Rei from liking Minako.
There was something magnetic about Minako, a friendly, accepting nature. Her curiosity kept her doing ridiculous things, like climbing down wells when she was visiting the T.A. Academy for Girls that Rei attended. Rei had gotten better at bearing Minako since that episode.
Maybe Rei cared a lot about what Minako thought. At the academy, when Minako had yelled at Rei, that yell rattled Rei deep inside. Rei didn't remember what Minako had said, but Rei deserved to be yelled at; she had laughed at Minako and her plights at the academy.
Who cared if Minako was the opposite of a proper lady? Minako was her friend.
To keep thinking kind thoughts while Minako was being Minako… Now Minako had Patrick to bounce off of, frustrating Rei more while entertaining never frustrated, always patient Michiru. For the most part. Haruka rumored that Michiru had a hidden dark side, revealed when Michiru's violin practice or lessons were interrupted.
Watching Michiru be elegant and graceful all the time, even while doing something as mundane as sitting on a bus seat, swiping her skirt under her so that it didn't wrinkle, looking before she sat, Rei would never guess that Michiru had any side to her other than this emotionally stable young woman.
As the group had boarded, the bus driver's brow creased at the glowing Michiru. "What's up with you?" How rude, asking questions bluntly without a thought to others' feelings. "Why are you…glowing?"
Michiru had stopped in front of the bus driver, and the driver recoiled. "It's a long story. Would you care to hear it?"
Wow. Rei might not have been able to respond kindly but assertively. Rei would've snapped at the bus driver, especially after speaking to her like an alien. The Guardians were so different than other humans on Earth that it did seem like they were aliens sometimes.
A bead of sweat ran down the fish's forehead. "Eh, no, thank you, I'm fine. Carry on with your, your glowing." His words tumbled over one another. Michiru had scared him without being rude. Of course, the glowing helped.
Michiru had continued toward the back of the bus. Patrick was behind her and stopped before the bus driver, who had broken out into a river of sweat. "Isn't her glowing cool? I wanna glow, too." He chased Michiru and flopped beside her on the seat, Michiru not moving from the impact. Damn, she was good. "Teach me how to glow."
A small smile grew on Michiru's face. "In due time." She looked out the window.
"Yes, ma'am, I will wait for whenever two times come." Patrick had misheard Michiru big time.
Michiru chuckled. Even her chuckle was elegant.
Rei wished she could've sat beside Michiru and received Michiru's wisdom, but she was stuck beside Minako, Minako squishing Rei into the inside of the seat.
The bus began to move. No one else was aboard.
"It doesn't seem like many people go to Rock Bottom," Michiru said.
"Not many people like to hit Rock Bottom." Felt like Rei had hit rock bottom when she'd been crammed in the chimney with Patrick.
Patrick shivered. "This place is dark and scary and I wanna go home." Hadn't even reached Rock Bottom yet, and Patrick already wanted to go home. Not a good start. Tapping his fingers, he peered up at Michiru. "Can you be my night light?"
Michiru regarded Patrick for the third time since coming to Bikini Bottom. Weighing her words? Rei would've shot out a few mean words at Patrick's childishness. But being afraid of the dark, even as an adult, was fair, as Rei had learned since becoming a Guardian.
Michiru smiled. "I'll always be with you, Patrick."
The starfish's shoulders sank. "Ah, thank you so much, glowing lady. You know, if you taught me how to glow, I wouldn't need you to be my night light because I would be my own night light. And I could go by myself everywhere." He gulped. "Maybe not. The dark is scary no matter how bright it is."
"What you just said makes little sense." Rei couldn't help but spout off her mouth.
"The dark is still dark no matter how much light is in it. Especially when you're alone."
"I guess I see where you're coming from." Rei was working on being kinder to Patrick. Besides, she did sort of understand. If one was alone in any unfamiliar place, then it was scary.
"Hey, don't worry, Patrick." Minako winked. "All of us will stay with you. Especially the glowing Michiru."
"I haven't been able to figure out how to stop glowing."
"I hope you never figure it out. At least while you're around me." Patrick hugged Michiru, stealing Michiru's breath and making the Guardian stiffen. "Never, ever leave me, glowing lady."
Michiru guided Patrick off her. "Yes, of—"
The bus turned straight down.
Rei, Patrick, Minako, and Michiru slammed against the back of their seats. Patrick flipped over the top of his seat and crashed against the bus's back wall, the metal clanging. The driver said nothing, remained calm, driving like he drove down cliffs for a living. Which he probably did. The least he could've done was warn them to wear seatbelts.
Rei held fast to the edge of her seat, knuckles and veins protruding from her hands. Minako snatched Rei's shoulder, squeezed her seat, too. Michiru also held.
"What the hell is going on?" Minako growled.
"Oh, right, you folks probably aren't from around here." Didn't sound like the bus driver was straining to talk like Minako had. He couldn't sound calmer if he tried. Sounded almost bored. "Rock Bottom is down at the bottom of this cliff."
Her pupils contracted. "So, so when you said we were going down to Rock Bottom, you meant we were literally going down. Just when I thought there was nothing else crazy in Bikini Bottom…" Her mouth twitched into a smile.
"Are you really going to laugh right now?" As far as Rei was concerned, not a shred of humor was in this situation.
"If I don't laugh, I'll cry."
"I'm going to get Patrick," Rei ground out. The falling had made her tense.
"But he's fine. He's like a cartoon character. Throw anything at him, and he'll be okay."
"That's not the point. I want him to be with us." Who'd believe that these words were coming out of her mouth? If Patrick had been slammed against a bus's wall when she first met him, she wouldn't have saved him. He was their friend to take care of, to respect. "If that was Usagi or Ami or anyone else on our team, then you'd save them."
Minako flinched as if a rock had been thrown at her. "True."
"Sorry to make you feel guilty. You don't have to help. Stay here and stay safe."
Minako nodded and let go of Rei. Rei climbed over the seat, grabbed the top of each seat as she made her way toward the back, her legs sticking out like she was flying. The bus's momentum pulled back her eyelids, her lips, made it feel as though they were being sloughed off. Ignoring the burning, she kept going. If only she was clad in her deep sea dive suit; she wouldn't feel like her skin was being chiseled away.
Michiru was trying to look like she was looking straight ahead, but she observed Rei in her peripheral vision.
Rei doubled down in her efforts, putting more energy into grabbing each seat and climbing toward Patrick, the starfish watching Rei, expectant, pleading, hopeful.
Rei met Patrick, reaching. Patrick grasped her hand. Rei pulled, and Patrick pushed himself off the wall. The starfish toppled onto Rei. Tangled, they rolled under each seat, to the front where they bumped against the driver's seat.
Patrick placed his hands on the seat behind them, pushing himself and Rei up. They gripped the sides of the seat, clutched each other's hands, and held.
Out of the corner of her eye, Rei saw Michiru nod. Rei warmed. Approval.
"Good that you two made it back up here," Michiru said.
"I'll say," Patrick said, voice shaking from the bus's momentum. "Much better than being back there by myself."
"You're with us now, Patrick," Rei said. "We won't leave you."
"Thanks, Rei. I knew you were never Manray."
Had he forgotten the torture he had put her through? He sure acted like he'd known she was Manray before.
"I'm sorry, Patrick." Minako balled her hands, digging her nails into her palms. "I should've helped, too."
The starfish slung an arm around Rei's shoulder. "It's okay. I needed only one of you. Besides, it's good that none of you were hurt because of me."
A rare display of unselfishness from Patrick. Maybe he had grown, too. Rei's eyes softened. "Thanks, Patrick."
Their surroundings darkened—not only the surroundings outside the bus, but the surroundings inside as well. The lights inside the bus flicked on.
Patrick clung to Rei. "It's getting dark. Can't you glow, too?"
"Don't worry. Keep holding on to me." Rei didn't want to waste her energy producing fire to be a night light for Patrick.
Minako grinded her teeth, bit her tongue.
"Trying to keep from screaming?" Michiru said to Minako.
She glowered. "Messing with me at a time like this?"
"We're only free-falling. Nothing to be afraid of."
"Easy for you to say, glow girl."
The bus slammed back upright, like it had turned ninety degrees at once. The four banged onto their seats, an, "Oof" coming from Minako and Patrick. The bus screamed to a sudden stop, and Rei and Patrick smacked against the back of the driver's seat, slid onto the floor. The driver hadn't moved during the free-fall.
"We're here," the bus driver said. "Enjoy your stay in Rock Bottom." Was he being sarcastic?
Rei picked herself and Patrick off the floor. She glanced at the perfect Michiru, who had remained upright in her seat. Nothing could shake the older Guardian.
Minako walked to the front of the bus, Michiru following. "We'd better get going."
The driver opened the bus's door, and the four stepped off, onto the living soil that swayed underneath Rei's high heels, almost making Rei sway with it. The bus revved its engine and then sped away, riding up the cliff as quickly as it must've fallen.
Minako's eyes widened at the soil. "Patrick, what's the dirt made of?"
"Uh, dirt, of course," Patrick said.
"Yes." Minako drew out the word. "Of course." Drew out the second words, too.
Rei shivered. "Is it cold down here, or is it just me?" She did become cold easily. Might have something do with being the Guardian of Flames and basking in the heat.
"It feels fine to me." Michiru's glow brightened, permeating several yards instead of several feet like before. The robots would find the group easily, but the group could also defeat the robots easily. "We are deeper in the ocean, so it makes sense that it would feel colder. I feel a bit more pressure too."
The pressure was nearly debilitating, despite King Neptune making the humans not be crushed by the pressure. Apparently, his blessing hadn't extended fully to Rock Bottom.
"I might feel fine because I'm the Guardian of the Deep Sea. Since we're deeper in the ocean, my attacks should be more powerful as well." She looked over herself. "I'mglowing brighter now."
Patrick sidled closer to her. "All the more reason to stay near you."
Michiru smiled tightly. Hiding her annoyance?
Minako crouched and scooped soil into the palm of her hands. Two eyes and a mouth popped out of the mound of dirt.
"Why do you—pffith—foreigners—pffith—like picking up dirt?" the dirt said, blowing raspberries as he spoke.
Minako gasped. "Y-you talk?" Surprisingly, she hadn't thrown the dirt down.
"I—pffith—can't—pffith—understand a word—pffith—you're saying."
Minako blinked. "Uh… I didn't—pffith—know—pffith—you talk."
"Why—pffith—yes—pffith—I do. Doesn't all dirt?"
Spit from the dirt pelted Minako's cheeks, but the Guardian didn't seem to notice, staring at the dirt, unmoving. "Y'know, I shouldn't be surprised at this point. But just as I think I've seen it all in this world, Bikini Bottom throws something new at me."
"Why does it spit?" Rei said.
"Must be the language down here." Michiru seemed unfazed.
Patrick cupped his hands. "What a beautiful language, too. I wish we spoke as eloquently as they do down in Rock Bottom, over in Bikini Bottom." Of course spitting every other word would be right up Patrick's alley.
"Please put me—pffith—down—pffith. Your hands are—pffith—filthy—pffith."
Minako scowled. "Screw you." She turned her hands over, dumping the dirt onto the ground.
Rei suppressed the urge to burst into laughter. "Wow, Mina-chan, dirt thought your hands were dirty."
She balled her hands. "Maybe their definition of 'clean' actually means dirty."
Michiru faced forward, Patrick following her every move to stay in her glow. "I'm assuming that the sunlight doesn't permeate down here. We must be in a trench."
Patrick nodded. "I don't know why the sunlight can't come down here. I dunno how the people here do without it. I mean, what if you're born afraid of the dark?" He buttoned his lips. "How would you survive?"
Rei pursed her lips, Badly trying to suppress her snark.
Ahead of them, near what seemed to be bathrooms, stood a fish with an angler antenna on his head, tongue hanging out, holding his crotch and dancing in place.
Minako winced. "Oh, I know exactly how that fish feels."
Rei shot Minako a withering look.
She cast a raised eyebrow. "What? You've never felt that strong urge before, Queen Rei, the urge that makes you want to abandon all rationale and relieve your primal needs?"
How crude and T.M.I. "I'm not even going to respond."
Standing in front of the angler fish, in front of the bathroom door, was a taller, square robot with long, red, cranelike arms and a police siren atop its head.
"Apparently, that line was really long," Minako said. "That robot was waiting so long that it fell asleep while waiting. Who knew robots had the right parts to use the bathroom?"
"When I have to use the bathroom, I can't fall asleep," Patrick said. "I must ask that robot for its wisdom, about how he manages to sleep in such dire and desperate circumstances."
Rei massaged her forehead, trying to stop a budding headache. "Please. Stop talking. Both of you. I can't take you two right now." One was fine, but the both of them…
Minako nudged Rei. "Rei-chan, grumpy as always."
Rei sighed. "How did I get myself in this mess?" she muttered. Michiru chuckled. At least her suffering was amusing somebody.
"Shouldn't we fight the robot?" Finally, something intelligent coming out of Patrick's mouth.
"Let's wait until we see how it attacks," Michiru said. "It may be asleep, but it likely has some deadly attacks up its sleeve.
The fish tapped the robot's shoulder. The Sleepytime—the robot—whipped around, the siren on its head sounding and flashing red. It stretched, towering taller than it had before, several feet above the fish. A blue ray beamed from its eyes, onto the fish. The fish shot into the air, a high-pitched scream coming from his throat. An explosion boomed where he landed yards away.
The Sleepytime turned around, facing the bathroom door, stretched, and hung over, falling back asleep.
Patrick gawked. "What willpower. Able to go back to sleep even after waking up having to use the bathroom. Amazing."
For every intelligent thing Patrick said, three more idiotic things came out of his mouth.
A dark yellow splotch remained on the ground from where the robot had zapped the fish. Either the…remains from the fish or residue from the robot's zap. Better not think about it too much.
Several yards away, near a bus station, Mrs. Puff had watched, horrified, the whole scene play out. Wide-eyed, she faced the group. "Why didn't you save him?"
"We don't know how that robot would've reacted," Michiru said. "We wanted to watch before we stepped in. Would you have stepped in?"
Her brow furrowed. "I'm not sure. Even if I had the powers you had. Hm."
If Minako, Patrick, or herself had brought up the same concerns, then Mrs. Puff would've pushed back more. Michiru must have a way with words, too.
Michiru had a brutal way of looking at things, though. She was one of two Guardians who had wanted to kill Sailor Saturn, fearful that the younger Guardian might annihilate the universe.
"In all honesty, I'm glad you came. You always come right on time."
Seemed like Mrs. Puff had warmed considerably toward humans since the last Rei had seen of her in the downtown area. Whatever had happened to her in Jellyfish Fields must've been life-changing.
"I have a favor to ask of you." She gestured toward a squat building atop a cliff in the distance. "The robots stole all the museum's artwork. Could you please gather them and bring them back to me? I'll give you a Golden Spatula as a reward."
Michiru cocked her head. "Golden Spatula?"
"It's a spatula made of goldlike material," Patrick said helpfully.
"But does it do anything?" Thankfully, Michiru wasn't mean to Patrick for his being obvious. "Ami had talked about it a bit before, but I still don't understand what they're supposed to be used for."
"It's supposed to help you get into certain areas of Bikini Bottom, but it looks like all the usual fish who would care about that scattered `cause of the robots."
"So, basically, they're worthless," Minako said.
"Basically. But my socks aren't worthless, and you guys haven't found any of those. So I have a bunch of Golden Spatulas I'd give you if you found my socks."
"We'll keep an eye out for them." Rei hadn't seen any in the downtown area. Perhaps she hadn't been paying enough attention. She was too focused on the robots instead of socks that could be bought at a store.
Michiru placed a finger on her chin. "It might not hurt to have a Golden Spatula just in case." She looked to the museum. "I'd hate to see beautiful artwork be lost or damaged because of these robots, if they haven't been already. Okay, ma'am, we'll help you. But why not bring the artwork directly to the museum? Why do you want them?"
Mrs. Puff shook a fist. "Don't ask questions you aren't prepared to know the answers to."
Minako stepped back. "That was an unexpected and over-the-top response."
"Then I'm assuming nothing good," Michiru said. "In that case, we'll bring the artwork directly to the museum and hide them where the robots can't see them. Most museums have security guards, so we'll let them know artwork's whereabouts." She narrowed her eyes at the pufferfish, looking deadlier than usual thanks to her glow. "That way, we won't need to know why you need the artwork. We'll let you know when we're finished, and you can give us the Golden Spatula anyhow."
Excellently handled. Rei didn't have that assertiveness in her.
"Uh-huh, I understand," Mrs. Puff said. "You humans aren't as kind as I thought a few hours ago. No wonder what you did to my husband…" She shooed them away. "Go ahead. There are six pieces of artwork somewhere around this dark place. Go find them if you're so good."
One piece of artwork was propped against a rock near the bathroom, where the robot slept. Endless trenches were embedded on either side of the four, the road on which the four stood leading to another platform in the middle of another hole ahead of them. Seemed like Rock Bottom was comprised of mostly holes and trenches.
The words on the square building that served as the bathroom had upside-down and sideways English letters. However, the Japanese teenagers could understand and converse with the fish. Rei didn't want to rack her brain trying to figure out why; that was Ami and Setsuna's job. She couldn't understand the written jumbled English on not only the sign on the bathroom, but also the neon sign atop the museum. Rei couldn't quite see what the museum looked like from where she stood, Rock Bottom was so dark. Good thing the glowing Michiru lit the area.
Other than the holes and platforms around them, Rock Bottom seemed bare. An eerie quietness and mental pressure settled, an atmosphere of heaviness that Bikini Bottom didn't have crushing Rock Bottom. Perhaps the atmosphere was because of a different culture, compared to Bikini Bottom's light, friendly, playful atmosphere. Perhaps Rock Bottom's citizens were kind, but the atmosphere made it seem as though they were not.
The holes around would force them to jump and fly a lot.
Someone had to carry Patrick.
Mamoru wasn't with them.
Couldn't worry about it too much, or Rei would never want to move.
The trenches and holes would make it either easier or harder to defeat the robots. The Guardians would have to be careful while fighting. Had to make sure that they didn't fall or were shoved by the robots. Minako was mischievous enough to push the robots down. Maybe Patrick would throw them into the trenches, too.
They had to defeat the Sleepytime before snagging the first piece of artwork.
A wide light from the siren atop the Sleepytime's head surrounded the robot.
"We might have to sneak up on it so we don't wake it up like that unfortunate, exploding fish did," Minako said.
Patrick picked up and put down his feet. "I can't tiptoe. I always lose hide-and-seek to SpongeBob because I walk too loud."
"My high heels aren't the best for tiptoeing," Rei said. "And there's no way I'm taking my shoes off and walking on talking, live soil."
"I'm wearing heels, too," Minako said.
"I'm also wearing heels," Michiru said.
The group stared at one another.
"Let's throw something at it." Patrick hurled a nearby rock that was the size of his stomach. Another beam funneled from the Sleepytime's siren, which began to sound, and propelled the rock, smashing Patrick's head and flopping him onto his back. He smiled and grabbed at the sky. "I see pizza, but I can't touch it."
The Sleepytime awakened, stretching, its siren becoming louder. A blue ray beamed from its eyes, and it turned its head, sweeping its beam. The Guardians flipped backward, dodging the beam.
The glow around Michiru brightened. She extended an arm, sucking parts of the ocean into her palm. Ocean walls gathered on either side of Sailor Neptune, nearly blocking her from Rei's view. The Sleepytime's beam dissipated against one wall. The robot shot out another beam only for this beam to meet the same fate as the first.
The water in Sailor Neptune's hand grew. "Deep Submerge!" The ocean jetted out, smashing through the Sleepytime and the bathroom, the sudden dimness as a result of the lost light from the Sleepytime's siren and the lit bathroom plunging the area into more darkness. The siren stopped just as suddenly, silencing Rock Bottom once more.
The bathroom's remains crumbled to dust, revealing several sitting and standing fish with their backs turned to the Guardians. Rei and Minako blushed scarlet, turned away and covered their eyes. Minako may be nosy and goofy, but at least she had the decency to look away when others were interrupted from doing their business by a blast of water.
A light blush tinted Michiru's cheeks. Even when she was embarrassed, she was elegant. "I…I apologize."
"Now there's no place around here for fish to go relieve themselves," Minako said. "I'm glad I don't have to go. Even if I did, I'd just go in the bushes or behind a rock." She nudged Rei for the third time. If she nudged Rei one more time, then Rei would nudge her high heel into Minako's ribs. "I bet that would be too uncivilized for Rei."
"One, yes, it would be. Two, for the second time, too much information, Mina. No one wants to know about your bathroom habits."
"Patrick does."
"Patrick doesn't count."
"Aw, I was just talking about a hypothetical situation that might soon come true if we don't find another bathroom when I have to go."
Scurrying ahead. Rei dared to look. Fish struggled to hurriedly pull up their pants, one falling on his face, his behind showing. Fish smacked into one another as they tried to run from the Guardians. Some fish who'd gotten themselves together tiptoed over steel, rickety platforms ahead that would drop into a trench if one ran across.
One fish, struggling to pull his pants on and tiptoe at the same time, tripped and smacked onto his face. The rickety platform on which he stood broke, and he screamed, plummeting into the darkness.
Minako shot into the air. A similar situation had happened in Goo Lagoon, where fish had been sucked into a hole leading to the robots' lab. Minako had a special connection to holes. She would not let another fish be lost down a hole.
The other platforms, one by one, fell, and so did the fish. A chain reaction had begun thanks to that fish's clumsiness and embarrassment at literally being caught with his pants down.
Perhaps everything was Sailor Neptune's fault for not being able to control her powers.
Sailor Neptune flew toward the situation. Instead of being paralyzed by guilt, guilt motivated her—if she felt guilty. Something that Rei should do more often instead of letting her emotions control her.
Rei flew forward, too.
"Leaving Mr. Star?" Mrs. Puff shouted from behind. All he was doing was lying unconscious, dreaming about pizza. A good way to spend his time.
Rei flew down, grabbed the fish's hand.
A light shone from farther below, blinding Rei. The whirring noise thundered in her ears.
Whatever was below was out to stop them.
Minako shouted something unintelligible.
A crane reached above, felt at the surface. Extended its arm, snatching Patrick, and dropped back down.
All so quickly.
Rei flew after the crane.
She would not let Patrick go.