26) Wednesday 11 Sept 2013 – At the Graveyard

John Paul was in two minds as to whether he should walk through the gate. A part of him was furious ... no, not really furious, rather extremely annoyed that his sister had turned the table on him. After all, the walk had been supposed to be for her benefit rather than his. Still, another part of him was hugely impressed by how cleverly Michaela had manipulated him into doing what so many people had been trying to pressure him into for the last few days.

Michaela had already entered the graveyard and was stood looking at a big map, which explained the layout of the cemetery.

It was John Paul's sense of responsibility rather than anything else that won the battle in his mind in the end, and he finally made his way through the gates, in the direction of his sister.

"'What you looking at?" He inquired. "It's not as if you've never been here before!"

"Oh, just making sure. Last time I was here I got lost and wandered about the place for an hour before I found the grave. The pregnancy is making me even more confused! Can you imagine how I'll be when the breastfeeding amnesia kicks in?" She giggled softly and John Paul couldn't help joining her.

"So, you ready?" Michaela looked at her brother expectantly. "It's this way!" She took his arm and led him into the cemetery.

After a few minutes' walk John Paul noticed that they were approaching a new section of the graveyard. As they entered he spotted a familiar name on of the headstones. "Max," he whispered to himself as he slowed down in front of it. "How weird is that!" He looked at his sister. "You know, 'Chaela, I knew up here," he pointed to his head, "that he was gone, and we've always stayed in touch with Steph, so we know what's she's gone through in all those years, but still ... I really didn't realise ..." He felt his throat tighten and his eyes well up. "Chaela, I don't think I can go any further. I mean, if seeing Max's grave is doing this to me, how on Earth will I deal with Tina, ay?"

"But, John Paul..." Michaela looked him in the eye. "I know it's not easy, but you've already seen Tina after she died. That's a huge difference!"

"But, she was my sister! And she's just lying here somewhere, down in the ground, rotting away." John Paul made to turn and walk back the same way that they'd entered, but Michaela grabbed his arm and stopped him in his tracks.

"John Paul, don't you dare leave now. It will only make it more and more difficult! You can't just ignore this place, not after you came back from Dublin!" she said forcefully.

John Paul hesitated before turning again towards her. He saw the determination in her eyes and knew there was no way he could run away this time. His shoulders sank as he accepted his fate.

"Okay, Michaela, you're right," he sighed, "I'll come with you ..." He hesitated. "There's just one thing ..."

"... thing that you need to do first!" Michaela finished his sentence. "Go ahead, John Paul, it's seven rows to the right, just behind the fountain over there." She pointed towards it. "I'll be with Tina. Her grave is just over there, you'll see me when you get back."

"How did you ...?" John Paul started.

"I didn't. Still, thought you might, so ..." Michaela interrupted him but didn't finish her own sentence. "Go ahead, I'll wait!"

John Paul made his way around the headstones. Most of the plots showed signs of the people lying there being missed. Fresh flowers were laid out, small trees had been planted on some and small toys were lying on a few. An tiny unopened bottle of whiskey was lying on one grave.

He smiled to himself when he recognised the last name, Fisher.

'I'm certain the guys wouldn't mind,' he thought to himself as he unscrewed the bottle and took a swig from it. 'Cheers, Eamon, Dutch courage, ay! I'll bring you a fresh one next time!'

The alchohol burnt his throat and his body shook involuntarily. 'Okay, that's it!' He thought as he continued his walk to Sarah's grave.

A quarter of an hour later Michaela saw her brother as he appeared from behind the trees that divided the cemetery. She could see from far off that he had been crying as his usually pale face was looking very red. However, he seemed to have somewhat regained his usual confident demeanor. As he got nearer she saw that he was smiling through the tears.

"Why are you smiling?" Michaela was little indignant. "I would have thought you'd rather be ashamed!"

'Of course I'm ashamed of what I did to her! I'll never stop regretting it!" He wiped his eyes. "But I finally realised as I was standing there, talking to her, that she understood. She did forgive me, 'Chaela." Fresh tears appeared in his eyes but he ignored them and allowed them to flow down his cheeks. "God, I miss her!"