Un-boring

Alice hung up the phone and stood standing there a moment, staring into space. She usually enjoyed her semi-regular chats with Lena, but this time it had left her feeling down. Not for the first time, she wished she was a bit more adventurous, the way that Lena was. Well, probably not to such an extreme degree.

Lena had regaled her for a full half hour about a key party she'd gone to, something that Alice would never in her right mind attend. Although, truth be told, a tiny part of her left mind found the idea of sex with a stranger oddly titillating. And it had only been three weeks ago that Lena had gone to a party and ended up playing naked spin-the-bottle. It made Alice feely oddly…settled.

She finally stirred herself and went back to the kitchen, to finish washing the dishes. Her mind kept going over Lena's story, and the more she thought about it the more depressed she became. She kept coming back to the same determination – she, Alice, was boring. With a capital B.

How long ago Wonderland seemed now. She'd told herself then that she was done with excitement and adrenalin rushes, and at the time she'd certainly meant it. Now, she wasn't so sure. Alice was happy with her life, and looking forward to marrying Hatter. She had safety, security, and love. So why was she suddenly nostalgic for a high ledge?

"You home, love?" Hatter called as he came in the door.

"In the kitchen!" Alice wondered if Hatter thought she was boring. His life in Wonderland had been dangerous, sure, but she was certain that he'd taken more chances, had more fun, than he did here.

"You look good enough to eat," Hatter said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He nibbled on her neck, making her giggle.

"I'm washing dishes, Hatter. It's not what I'd call glamorous."

"You're always glamorous."

Alice shooed him away. "I've called for take-out. It should be here soon."

"Sounds good," Hatter called as he made his way to the bedroom to change.

*o*o*o*

The coffee table was littered with mostly-empty boxes of Chinese food, and Alice lounged on the sofa with her hands wrapped around a cup of tea. Hatter sat next to her, the Wonderland history book open on his lap; it was bristling with Post-it tabs. While he read and re-read, Alice stared into her teacup and brooded.

She and Hatter were in a rut. Aside from the ill-fated New Year's Eve party, what else had they done that was out of the ordinary? They went to work, they had dinner with Carol once a week, they discussed wedding plans, and they read that damn history book.

"Do you think I'm boring?" Alice blurted out. Hatter looked up at her in surprise.

"Boring?"

"You know. Dull. Always doing the same old thing. Never taking chances."

"Alice…" Hatter started, but she held up her hand to stop him.

"Wonderland doesn't count, Hatter."

He looked at her for a long moment, his head slightly cocked to the side. Alice blushed, feeling foolish. Damn that Lena, anyway!

"Do you know why I like living here?" Hatter asked after a while. Alice looked back at him and shrugged.

"Pizza. Lots of tea varieties. Me."

"I like having a routine. I like not having to worry about being dragged away by Suits because the Queen has a sudden urge to chat with me. I've stopped looking over my shoulder, yeah? You call it boring. I call it…normal."

Alice set her tea down and pushed the book out of Hatter's lap so she could crawl into it. "I'm sorry. I know I'm being silly."

"You're not being silly, love." Hatter kissed the top of her head. "Just believe I've got everything I could want. In two more months we'll be married. I never dreamed I could have that kind of life, Alice."

Alice snuggled into him, warmed as much by his words as his arms around her. She sent more nasty thoughts Lena's way. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to do something out of the ordinary. She'd have to give it more thought, but keep her mouth shut about it until she decided what to do. She didn't want Hatter feeling bad.

*o*o*o*

One week later Alice hurried home from the dojo with a cardboard box under her arm. She was both nervous and excited, and hoped she had enough time to get everything set up before Hatter got home. She'd planned everything carefully, and it was exciting to finally get it in place.

When she got to the apartment, Alice took the box into the bedroom and shut the door behind her, even though she was alone. She opened the box and grinned as she pulled out the shiny red leather that was nestled inside. She'd never visited an online sex shop, much less ordered anything from one, but that had been the whole point; she'd stepped outside her comfort zone, but in a way that would be beneficial for both herself and Hatter. Maybe it wasn't on par with naked party games, but it was a start.

Alice hopped in the shower and took some extra time primping before she squeezed herself into the red leather teddy. She'd toyed with getting the crotchless one, but had chickened out at the last minute. She thought she'd grab Hatter's attention regardless. The thing tied up the front, and gave the illusion that her breasts were much larger than they actually were. Red garters, black stockings, and red stiletto heels completed the ensemble.

Turning this way and that to get the total effect in the mirror, Alice felt a little embarrassed, but mostly she liked how she looked. It was so unlike her to do this, which added a little thrill. Now to set the stage.

Recalling Hatter's comment from the week before – you look good enough to eat – Alice headed to the kitchen. She wiped down the kitchen table and draped a white tablecloth over it. From the fridge she pulled a carton of strawberries, which she dumped into a white bowl. Then she set about arranging herself artfully on the table, with the bowl between her legs. Hopefully she'd timed it close enough that she wouldn't be stuck in her provocative, yet uncomfortable, pose for very long.

Sure enough, five minutes later she heard Hatter's key in the lock. Alice's heart began to pound in anticipation. She hoped Hatter was surprised. Pleasantly surprised. She could hear him in the living room, muttering to himself, and did her best to look sultry.

"You home, Alice?" he called.

"In here, Hatter!" she called back.

"Hope you don't mind, love, but Peter and I…" Hatter came to a stuttering halt in the doorway, his eyes wide. Behind him, Peter's eyes were even wider, though Alice only caught a quick glance of him before he ducked out of sight.

"Oh my God!" Alice slid off the table and yanked the table cloth around her, sending the bowl of strawberries flying. "Oh my God!"

"Alice, what…"

But Alice didn't stick around to listen. She dodged around Hatter and turned the corner to the bedroom, running headlong into Peter. They both blushed furiously at each other, and then Alice finally escaped into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She dropped face-down on the bed, mortified.

"Alice?" Hatter knocked lightly on the door before coming in. Alice pulled the tablecloth up over her head. She couldn't believe Peter had seen her like that. The one time she tried to shake things up, and look what happened!

"Love?" The mattress shifted a bit as Hatter sat down. "Did I miss something? Did we have a date night tonight?"

"No," Alice muttered, her voice muffled. "I wanted to surprise you."

"I'd say that was a success then," he chuckled. "But I think you surprised Peter more."

"I'll never be able to see him again," Alice groaned. "We'll have to stop being friends with him and Daisy."

"I think that's a bit much."

Alice rolled over. "Look at me, Hatter! He saw me like this!"

"You look like a…whatsit…burrito." Hatter tugged the table cloth off. "That's better. Mmmmm. Much better."

"Why is Peter even here?"

"Hmm? Oh. We were going out. A guy's night." Hatter ran his hand down the side of the teddy. "I now see I'm needed more at home."

"Oh, no!" Alice scooted off the bed. "You go. Go out with Peter, get him good and drunk, and maybe he'll forget he was even here."

"Alice…"

"No. I'm so not in the mood right now, Hatter. Believe me, you're better off with Peter. Just go."

Alice gestured to the door, but Hatter advanced on her until her back was pressed against the closet door. He put his palms on either side of her head, looking at her with such intensity she momentarily forgot to be embarrassed.

"I'll go," Hatter fairly growled. "But when I get back…you better still have that on."

He kissed her, hard, and then he was gone, leaving Alice staring weak-kneed at the door. She could hear him exchanging some words with Peter, and then the front door slammed. Letting out a shaky breath, Alice sank to the floor. Her ambience had been ruined, her dignity destroyed, and now she would have to wait for Hatter to get home to deal with the fire he'd so easily stoked under her skin.

"Thank God I didn't get the crotchless one," Alice said to herself, looking down at herself.

And then she began to laugh, deep belly laughs that made her sides ache and tears run down her face. Well, she told herself, you wanted some excitement!

AN: This is a little nod to Alaina Downs and the crazy antics she puts Alice and Hatter through in her story, Firsts – particularly chapters 45 & 46 – and the totally hot story TheKey Party by smiles2go. That's some good stuff, I tell you what!