CHAPTER 25

"He's in high spirits," Kyouya-san says, nodding towards Hikaru, who's slumped at the table drowsily after the sleepless night they'd had. Hikaru is propping his heavy head up with one hand and swirling his wine glass lazily with the other, but both arms appear ready to cave. "At any rate, higher than predicted."

Kyouya-san is good. Of course Kaoru knows that Hikaru is basically unconscious now despite the continuing signs of life – it takes a whole other sort to deduce that it is safe to converse about him, to know that Hikaru has passed the point of lucid awareness.

Kaoru smiles fondly at his stupid twin. "I know. I'm surprised too, to be honest."

The plates have all been cleared and washed; they've been chatting about inconsequential things and drinking – Kyouya-san has brewed the richest, most aromatic coffee Kaoru has ever tasted. Unfortunately Hikaru had declined, probably because he doesn't want to remain awake.

"I didn't believe him when he first talked about 'Annette'," Kaoru admits abruptly. "Not fully. Generally speaking, he's self-centred in his romantic relationships because he doesn't care to be otherwise, and that's not really what love is, so I didn't think that he was any different with 'her'."

Kyouya-san leans back in his chair, slender fingers absently rotating the porcelain cup on its saucer.

"Then when he actually expressed the thought of letting Haruhi go… I always thought I'd know who the right person was for him, you know, just because he'd show the consideration I know he's capable of. I've been waiting to see something like that… Ironic, so ironic."

Hikaru giggles when Kaoru pats his head sadly.

"He's holding up far better than Haruhi and her paramour. I believe much of the credit is yours."

"Oh, no. He hasn't sulked or anything like that. In fact, he wanted to do things as a distraction and I was dragged along. It's all been his initiative – frankly, I'm impressed. How's Haruhi? Did you visit her?"

"Kaoru, listen to me: much of the credit is yours."

Kaoru laughs sheepishly. "Thank you, thank you. I had not known you thought so highly of me."

"It's blatant," Kyouya-san says. "What he knows of love and sacrifice, he learnt from you."

"Heh. The reverse is also true."

"Indubitably. It is impossible for people to be entirely unaffected by others that they are in contact with, no matter how unwilling they might be to change – and neither you nor he are unresponsive to the other's influence."

"You seem to manage it," Kaoru informs him.

Kyouya-san doesn't reply.

Hikaru drops to the table with a muted thunk, his eyes closed.

"But I don't want to accept that. I don't know how you're like when you're alone. Do you have guests often? At all? Would Hikaru and I be here if you were the person you were a couple of years ago? Are you happy? What makes you happy? Are you unhappy? Why? I want to know the answers to all of that. I'd like to see you laugh."

Kyouya-san stands up, re-establishing distance between them. He gathers the coffee cups and crystal glasses to himself and heads over to the sink without a word.

Kaoru curls back from where he'd been almost half-sprawled over the table to get closer. Mentally, he maps out the ways he might be able to haul Hikaru home. Hikaru's actually wonderfully cooperative when he's tipsy, which is a blessing.

"Perhaps you need to give me answers in order to receive any." Kyouya-san is sponging the cups, his movements slightly jerky.

He's… irritated, Kaoru realizes.

"To which questions? I've always been here for the asking."

"The most relevant one of all! Why are you so insistent on me? You are neither unattractive nor undesirable, which makes your monomaniacal pursuit of a lone individual exceedingly irrational and tiresome!"

"… You think I'm good-looking!"

Incredulously, Kyouya-san demands, "Was that what you identified as the crux of my line of inquiry?"

Kaoru shakes his head, still amused. "I love reading."

Kyouya-san waits patiently, as Kaoru had known he would. He has the brilliant ability to distinguish between non-sequiturs and the lead-ins that frame an explanation.

"In my spare time, when I'm not making cakes or creating new recipes, I read. I like nearly all genres." He heads over to the kitchen too, to prevent from waking Hikaru up.

"When I was young, I read a lot of mystery novels. I was one of those people who knew the plot and the culprit for every single book before the reveal. I could always guess, and I was always right."

Kaoru snags the tea towel from the rack and starts on the washed saucers.

"For my twelfth birthday, my dad gave me a novel by Frances Jardin, called The Printing Press. I was breathless from reading it – the author pulled and pushed me around for the duration of the book, and I was completely unable to dissect the mystery until it was revealed to me."

Kyouya-san regards him silently, water cascading from the tap. Then, illustrating his unerring grasp of the gist of the story, he says, "Doesn't this indicate that your interest is lost as soon as the mystery ceases to be one?"

"Mm, no, I knew you'd say that," Kaoru huffs. "It's still my favourite book. That one, and a few more from other genres. Although I know its ending now, I still go back to read it again and again, to analyse how it captured me, to observe its subtlety and intricacy and depth. It is the only mystery that still has a hold on me."

Possibly too audaciously, he presses his body into Kyouya-san's right side. "Do you understand it? The desire to solve a mystery, and the power of a mystery unsolved? If you are willing to make yourself less of one, you may achieve your goal of making me lose interest."

Kyouya-san gives him his undivided attention at last, eyes dark with something beautiful. "That is a paradox: if I am to show myself to you, I will no longer wish you to lose interest."

"Take the risk." Kaoru touches his cheek in a soft caress, their breaths mingling. "Take it."

"And trust in your constancy?" Kyouya-san murmurs, not drawing back.

"The people whom I love; the craft that I practice; you – I think I have what it takes to be dedicated, don't you?"

"Hm." He blinks once languidly. "You're intoxicated. Let go of me."

"So are you. Why don't you let go instead?"

"I most certainly am not."

"You most certainly are. I figured it out – you're a sleepy drunk, that's why you made coffee."

At such close proximity, Kaoru can see everything, even that minute widening of the eyes that validates his conjecture.

"Kiss me," he requests-begs-orders.

"No," Kyouya-san says, and kisses him.

.

17/04/2012