Flight
Chapter 26—Confrontation
Disclaimer: I do not own Thor, Loki, or the Avengers. They belong to Marvel/Disney.
Loki managed to avoid Thor for only a day before his brother came looking for answers, blocking his path in the hall outside his chambers.
"We need to talk, Loki," Thor said. "What was that the other night?"
"Drunken confusion," Loki said. "Desperation. Embarrassment. Would you like me to go on?"
"You kissed me," Thor said.
"You kissed me back, so what's your point?" Loki asked.
"That I kissed you back is incidental to this discussion, Loki," Thor said. "Why did you kiss me?"
"I told you," Loki said. "Do I need to further humiliate myself for your amusement?"
"I'm not amused, brother," Thor said. "Far from it actually."
"You never could take a bit of fun," Loki said, trying to brush it off. "You know, mischief? Remember that?"
"Don't trifle with me, Loki," Thor said.
"I'm not," he snapped back. "No one told you Brokkr confronted me at the feast?"
"No," Thor said. "I heard he was told not to come back."
"Someone should've pitched him off the Bifrost," Loki muttered.
"He upset you," Thor stated.
"So good of you to pick up on that," Loki said. "He was rude, disrespectful, and said he wondered how much a suit of dragonscale armor would fetch."
"He would kill a dragon for his own amusement?"
"That abomination sewed my lips shut, Thor, so I wouldn't put it past him," Loki said. "I should have slit his throat, not his face."
"You drew a weapon on a guest at a feast? In the great hall?" Thor asked, astonished.
"Brokkr is no longer welcome in Asgard, much as I'm not ever setting foot in Nidavellir," Loki said. "If you want details, ask Fandral. He was there."
"I don't want to talk with Fandral. I want you to explain, Loki," Thor said. I can understand you were upset, and clearly confused about your feelings. And you'd been drinking."
"Have you ever known me to be fickle with my affections?" Loki countered.
"No," Thor said.
"I was drunk. It was a sign of affection. Drunken affection," Loki said. "I wasn't exactly thinking straight, considering what happened with Brokkr."
"Yes," Thor said. "You said while you were in Jotunheim there was the thought of someone. . .I thought.
Loki pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Surely Thor wasn't that dense? Or maybe he would just drop the matter altogether?
"Loki. . ." Thor said, a warning in his tone, trying to get his brother to speak. Surely Loki wasn't entertaining seriously the notion he was. . .No. "You love me."
Loki sighed.
"Of course I love you, you dolt," Loki said.
"No, it's more than that, isn't it?" Thor asked.
"Don't flatter yourself, brother," Loki said.
Thor frowned. "That's all it was, then? Your idea of mischief?"
"I'm rusty," Loki said, managing a smile.
"I'd say," Thor said, looking thoughtful. "Loki, you have my love. Always. But...I don't think I can be what you want me to be, if that's what you were really thinking. I love Jane."
Loki's mirth left as quickly as it came, and Thor stepped back. "Always the same excuse since we've been back," he said. "How can you be so sure of someone you knew such a short time? Think you Father would grant her immortality, and let her rule by your side? Have you even given a thought to what your Jane wants? Would you ask her to give up her life and friends for you?"
"I could go to Midgard, and stay with her," Thor said. In the distance, he heard Kjalvor roaring.
"You've thought about this?"
"I never really considered that until now, Loki," Thor said.
"If you think Father would let you go, you're a bigger fool than I," Loki said. "You're heir to the Allfather. Your birthright is to rule Asgard and safeguard the Nine Realms."
"I'm not ready. You've said it yourself," Thor said.
"Oh, don't go throwing my own words back at me, brother," Loki said. "At this rate, you'll never be ready. Thor, grow up. Father isn't always going to be here, and you will step into the role for which you were born."
"Like you run from the throne waiting for you?" Thor shot back. "You talk of responsibility, yet you run from yours."
"Are you calling me a coward?" Loki spat.
"Don't twist my words, Loki," Thor said.
"You're the coward, brother," Loki said. "We're done."
He stormed off, leaving Thor alone. Aimless wondering later found Loki in a dark, forgotten corner in his favorite part of the library, thinking dark thoughts. No one would bother him, if they knew what was good for them. Loki knew his own mind and heart, at least on this matter. Thor still wasn't ready to accept his responsibilities.
The scuff of boots on the floor brought Loki back to reality.
"Feelings sorry for yourself?"
Damn. Sif. She was standing with hands on her hips, head cocked, trying to be facetious.
"Moping, Loki. So mature," she said.
"Go to Hel, Sif," Loki replied.
"I know you had a fight with Thor," she said. "He flew off with Mjolnir, completely ignored Kjalvor when he tried to get his attention. Your mother is waiting for him to come back. I think Thor is in for it when he returns."
"One can hope," Loki said. "Now go away."
Sif sat down in the chair across from Loki's.
"I thought the two of you were getting on better. You've been doing so well," Sif said. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't want to spend another minute today on that stupid, pig-headed ass," Loki replied.
Sif bit her lip. Name-calling. Never a good sign. Insults always meant it was personal.
"Sif, what are you doing here?" Loki asked.
"I came to see if you're all right," she said. "Was it about the mortal?"
Loki spared her a glance.
"She did come up in conversation," he said.
"I hope Thor what an ass he's been," Sif said.
"He's been better," Loki said. "But no."
"Of course not," Sif said. "He'll defy the Allfather, and get himself banished or worse next time.
"You know how Thor is when he thinks he's right," Loki said. "Need me to bring up examples?"
"No," Sif said.
"Again, Sif, why are you here?"
"Isond sent me," Sif said. "Fandral was busy with Ivik, so was Frigga, so she called me."
"Why?"
"She thought you could use some company other than her own," Sif said. "Besides, she was trying to calm Kjalvor."
"I will throttle my dear brother when he comes back," Loki said. "He's been warned time and again. . ."
"I know," Sif said. "Loki, I know you've both been through so much. . ."
He raised an eyebrow in interest.
"I'm sorry," Sif said.
"For what?" Loki asked.
"That day—before you left, the words I said. I accused you of being envious of Thor, and I slapped you," Sif said. "I'm so sorry, Loki."
He could see the guilt in her eyes. He knew he could twist the knife, or just accept it and bury the past.
"I accept your apology," Loki said.
"That's it?"
"What more do you want me to say? Do you want me to rant and rage?"
"Loki, stop. I know you've changed. For the better. I'm sorry the circumstances were so harsh, but I truly am glad you're back. And I do hope there are glimmers of the old, mischievous Loki in there somewhere," Sif said.
"He's on sabbatical," Loki said. "Kjalvor is the resident Asgardian trickster now."
"Clever," Sif said. "I think you need to go help Isond with Kjalvor. I'd try, but I don't think he likes me very much."
"He's jealous of anyone he thinks might take Thor's attention and affection away from him," Loki said.
"That doesn't sound like someone else I know," Sif said. "Why would he be jealous of me?"
"You should know by now how perceptive the dragons are, Sif," Loki said. "Kjalvor probably senses how you feel about Thor."
"What do you mean?"
"Sif, I know you're in love with my brother," Loki said.
"I. . .I didn't think it was that obvious," Sif said.
"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me," Loki said.
Sif breathed a sigh of relief, deciding to change the subject.
"Ivik is growing well. Fandral is lucky," she said. "Will Asgard ever be given another egg?"
"I don't know," Loki said. "You could go with us to Alfheim when they have one of their feast days. Everyone gets a chance at the eggs. It's how Fandral bonded Ivik."
"I would like that," Sif said.
"You're welcome to fly with Isond and I when you get the chance," Loki said.
"Thank you," Sif said. "Loki, I know we haven't been close in a long time, but I hope we can work on trying to become friends again. Not because of Thor, but for the sake of friendship."
"I'd like that," Loki said, reaching over, giving one of Sif's hands a quick squeeze.
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Frigga closed the book she was reading, setting it down. Helblindi was curled beside her, asleep. She gave the boy a fond smile, thinking of how much he reminded her of Loki at the same age. The queen was grateful to have another child around, and lately, much of his care had fallen to her, as Loki was busy with his own duties, and like Thor, getting sent to other realms to offer assistance.
Having Helblindi around also made her remember her talk with Odin at Yule, about what else he could give her. She had all she could ever want, but if fate was kind, she would soon have something she wanted. Not that she would tell her husband and sons yet.
Her sons. Frigga sighed at that thought. Thor and Kjalvor were in Alfheim, spending a few days with the elves after how spectacularly her son upset his dragon. She knew he and Loki had argued, but not what they fought about. Frigga had her suspicions after Odin's own row with their oldest before throwing him out of his study, and ordering him to Alfheim. The subject matter of the fight was probably the mortal woman, but Frigga figured there was more to it. There always was.
Her thoughts turned back to Thor and Kjalvor. The dragon was a challenge to her son, who was used to everything coming so easily. He had been from the start, as his personality was a reflection of Thor's own. Kjalvor had a will of his own, he was mischievous, and good natured, like Thor. The dragon was also earnest to a fault. He didn't understand how Thor could put something between them.
Frigga was angry, and she knew Loki was furious because Thor upset Kjalvor, and there was even more behind Loki's anger. She tolerated Thor's declaration of love for mortal none of them would probably ever meet, hoping he would grow past it. Odin was right, in that Thor should consider others, but Frigga would not destroy Thor's hope.
Another happy family discussion, Frigga reflected, remembering Thor's talk with them after he returned from Midgard, how he told them he found love with a mortal woman. Frigga was more sympathetic to that revelation than Odin, who said nothing during Thor's talk. Her husband had been gentle with Thor, tolerating his son's revelation for the sake of the fact he'd just been told his brother was dead a few days before. Also, with Loki gone, Thor had nothing more pressing to do for while than go off pestering Heimdall about a mortal, earning himself several long lectures on his priorities.
A dark few months, as Sif was hurt during that time, Thor oblivious and inconsolable both. Sif because he'd given his love to a mortal he barely knew, and because of her guilt over her last words to Loki.
Sif. Now there was an interesting turn. With Thor gone, the warrior was spending time with Loki and Isond. Frigga wondered at that, but was happy they were settling back into something resembling friendship. Hogun was also coming around. A good sign, but she knew they were all going to need each other in the coming months.