Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution. So come on down to Mr. Meaty's! -song plays-

Okay, just letting you know, avatarjk137 wrote almost all of this chapter. Basically, there were only a couple of things I did. I only writed to when the bitch-off is about to start to the ened of the chapter, and the other thign is that Pepsi Omni was my idea.

That means that if you think that the karaoke thing was dragged out or anythign like that, don't tell me, because I'm just an innocent pawn in that.

"Alright, everybody!" Beast The Generous Judge announced. "Let's get this karaoke contest underway! After each performance, each judge rates you out of 10! The top placers get prizes, the lowest-place entry gets a shotgun blast to the chest! X23 must score in the Top 5 to proceed to New Mutant Status, and she goes last!"

"We know the rules!" New Bobby yelled. "Let's get this show on the road!"

"Okay!" Beast, Eager To Start agreed. "Our first contestant! Ray 'Berzerker' Crisp!'

Ray nervously took the stage, and sang. "Danger, danger, high voltage, when we touch, when we kiss!" He was surprisingly good at emulating the actual song. When he finished, he fell to his knees, and he and the microphone were both sparking and smoking. "How'd I do?"

"That was great! I expected the song, but you pulled it off surprisingly well. I give it an 8.5!" Beast, This Parody's Version Of Paula Abdul enthused. Torpid, the third surprise judge, waved her hand in a 'meh, it was alright' gesture. She wrote 6.5 on a whiteboard and showed it.

Logan got angry. "That was crap, but I'm sure most of the others'll be crappier. I give you a 4, and be thankful for that!" Ray ran offstage with tears in his eyes, stung by Wolverine's painful words. "Wimp," Logan added. Torpid nodded.

Wanda walked onstage. "Aren't you in, like, Hollywood, or another of Yellowfur's fanfics right now?" X23 asked, hacking at the curtains for no real reason.

"It's all explained in the author's comments," Wanda replied as she began to sing 'Call Me When You're Sober' by Evanescence. She was even better than Ray, and she followed the music video's cues. When Wanda began levitating late in the song, four Jamies walked onstage in black wigs and danced along with the song, even being levitated to Wanda's powers. In the end, she even leaned down into Wolverine's face like in the video. Logan fell out of his chair, incompatible with the emotional rush this caused.

"That…was perfect. 10 out of 10!" exclaimed Beast, Who Always Judges First. Torpid hadn't seen the video (sewers don't get VH1), and gave it a 7, showing a thumb-diagonally up. Wolverine grabbed his drink, which had an advertisement for Monster: Khaos, and gave a rating of 7.5, trying and failing to form complete sentences.

Kurtcrawler came up onstage next, and indeed did sound about as coherent as Fall Out Boy when he sang 'Sugar We're Goin Down'. Unfortunately, his voice still wasn't anything special, and he got an 8, 6, and 3, respectively (Wolverine had by now recovered). As he teleported offstage, Gambit came on next. I'd better take off my accent first, he thought, and removed his trench coat and the mask-type thingy that borders his face. "'Cause I'm TNT, I'm Dyno-mite!" Boom-boom couldn't help herself, and backflipped on stage to complete the song in a duet, as Rogue looked on jealously. "I'm TNT!" Gambit continued.

"And I'll win the fight!" Tabitha added enthusiastically.

"TNT!"

"With the power load!"

"TNT!"

"WATCH ME EXPLOOODE!"

They were actually quite good, and Gambit got a 9, 7, and 5 (Logan liked the violent music). Boom-boom wasn't quite as good, and got 8, 6, and 4.5. Torpid gave them a freakishly-large thumbs up.

Cyclops slid onstage in his underwear, socks, and ruby shades next and did a horrible rendition of 'Old Time Rock and Roll' by Bob Seiger. Jean was lost in bliss seeing Scott singing in his underwear; everyone else was lost in hell hearing Scott singing in his underwear. He got 4, 2.5, and 0, giant thumbs down from Torpid, breaking the table and spilling Torpid's Pepsi Omni (the new Pepsi flavored with cherry, blueberry, raspberry, vanilla, chocolate, caramel, butterscotch, marshmallow, lime, lemon, orange, peach, apple, black cherry, cream, coffee, sugar, fake sugar, tea, strawberry, melon, candy corn, grape, peppermint, cinnamon-nutmeg-ginger, spearmint, wintergreen, beer, grapefruit, and even a little cola flavoring). The Pepsi Omni ate through the floor beneath the judge's table.

"Can we just give Cyke the shotgun blast and call it a day?" Logan asked hopefully.

Roberto walked onstage next, and performed 'Mas Que Nada' by Sergio Mendez. He was almost as bad as Scott. Almost. He scored 5.5, 3, and 0.5, (Torpid made a gagging gesture), and walked offstage with tears forming in his eyes. Next, Bobby, New Bobby, Kitty, Avalanche, Magma, and Jean all performed 'School of Rock' (from the movie) together, complete with instruments. They scored well, earning 9, 8, and 6. Torpid was clapping so hard, she wore through her gloves, and zapped herself as her bare hands touched each other.

Professor X took over as the 'Randy' judge for Torpid, and they were ready to continue. Pyro had a decent rendition of "Crazy" by Gnarles Barkley, and scored an 8, 6, and 5.

Magneto wanted to be on, and he had been searching for a female partner for "Dare" by Gorillaz since Wanda's performance. He finally found somebody who would go on with him: Callisto had been itching to go on, but couldn't decide on a song. Magneto was better than expected, but Callisto had the wrong voice for Gorillaz, and dragged Magneto down, for a score of 7, 5, and 3.5. "That's hardly fair!" Magneto protested. "Gambit and Boom-boom were scored separately!"

"Tabitha backflipped onstage mid-song," Beast The Thirsty replied, enjoying his Drink™ by Generic®.

"I suppose beggars can't be choosers," Magnus grumbled.

"X23 is the only remaining contestant," Wolverine yelled, "so here are the scores so far:

Ray: 19

Wanda: 24.5

Kurt: 17

Remy: 21, Tabitha: 18.5

Scott: 6.5

Roberto: 9

The School: 23

Pyro: 19

Magneto/Callisto: 15.5

"I hope immortality is an undiscovered power of yours, Scott," Wolverine concluded.

"My glee at entering a karaoke contest is fading," Cyclops responded nervously.

"My turn!" X23 roared. She grabbed an electric guitar. "This is my favorite song." She then proceeded to set the music to 'Drowning Pool'. "Let the bodies hit the……… FLOOR!" She began playing guitar with insane skill, and her singing wasn't half-bad, either. At one point in the song she lost all sense of herself and jumped into the crowd, slashing the hell out of Sabretooth. She then regained her composure and finished the song, staining the guitar with Sabretooth's blood on her fingers.

"You're raising her well!" Sabretooth yelled to Wolverine, clearly enjoying the grievous wounds.

X23 finished. "How'd I do?"

"Excellent," Beast, Visibly Impressed said. "9.5!"

"You're performance was flawless, but you almost killed Sabretooth. I give you a 6," Xavier judged.

"And what's wrong with slicing and dicing Sabretooth?" Logan asked angrily. "I'd give her a 10, but it would look like I'm giving my family a bonus, so I'm giving her a nine." He finished his Monster, then looked inside the can. "This would be better with beer."

"This means X23 and Wanda are tied!" Beast, Who Did The Math gulped.

"You know what this means!" Wolverine grinned. "Bitch-off!"

Scarlet Witch and X23 both grabbed microphones and each chose a second song to for the other to sing. If one wasn't clearly better with this song, the judges would choose a tiebreaker song to decide.

Wanda chose her song. "Bring Me To Life', also by Evanescence."

X23 made her choice, as well. "I choose this song by Avril Lavigne! It's called-"

"NO! You can't play Avril Lavigne for an angry bitch-off; that's cheating!" Wanda interrupted.

"Fine then!" X23 threw her microphone. "I've had enough of these retarded phases! I've had enough karaoke!" She turned around and faced Cannonball. "New Bobby! Give me a substitute phase!"

"Sorry, but the phases list is already made. You can't just go changing phases when-"

"CHANGE THE PHASE!" X23's claws came out instinctively with her mood.

New Bobby jumped back in fear. "Fine, fine! I'll change the phase!"

"No! Don't!" Magma came running out in front of X23 and Cannonball. "Don't let her threaten you like that, New Bobby! Remain strong! Or I'll light your hair on fire when you sleep!"

Cannonball seemed feared by this, too. X23 waved her claws threateningly, stepping closer to Cannonball. Magma ignited her hands and glared at him. "Uh…" Due to all the fear within him being brought up at once, Cannonball's brain went into shock. But instead of seizing, he just foolishly decided to pick one of the girls to obey instead of doing the smarter decision: running away. "Fine! I'll change the last phase!" He obeyed X23's orders.

X23's claws went back in with a "shink" noise similar to Wolverine's. She smiled and clapped. "Yay! Thank you, New Bobby!" She hugged him.

Magma smiled evilly and disintegrated the fire on her hands. "Okay then. You'll regret it."

"What's the last phase, then?" Ray asked.

"I don't know, I'll think of something."

Ray looked blank. "I feel like a busy bee in the hive."

Yeah, I had to take a stab at Fall Out Boy way up there. That joke was my idea, too. Hey, I love them, but sometimes, you just have to make fun of and insult those you love.

And I don't know what I mean by that last line. At all.

Byebye.