After we leave the police station, I'm ready to bolt, to jump out of my skin and go find a new body, a new life, to live in.

As we were leaving, some of the officers who had undoubtedly seen the photo would glance at me before turning away. I wondered what Officer Alto and Mark would think after seeing the photo themselves because I knew eventually they would.

The thought of everyone having seen me so exposed and not know the truth behind it all, judging before having the entire story, made me stomach do flips and slowed my heart beat a little bit when I had trouble breathing just thinking about it.

It's official.

Any chances of having and living my old normal life around here are gone.

Those chances were gone the second Adrian first tried to attack me.

My chances of having a normal life anywhere seem bleak.

I suddenly remember those class presentations on how any indecent exposure taken on phones and sent out to others eventually end up on the internet and they never go away. I could be charged and forced to register as a sexual predator if Adrian wins this and decides to turn the tables on me, spinning the story like he always does so that the outcome falls in his favor.

The thought of this ending like that makes my heart stop completely in fear.

I lean my head back against the seat and try to breathe, to think about my happiest memories.

It isn't working.

I start to cry.

No matter how tough I want to be, I have to cry. Maybe if I get it out all of my system now, I'll come across as a determined victim trying to seek the justice she deserves.

Dimitri doesn't notice at first.

I wonder if he's thinking about his decision to stand by me, regretting it already. I can't tell with his expressionless face.

He's lost in his own silent thoughts as we drive through the streets filling with children from school having ended. It strikes me how fast the photo of me traveled around considering school wasn't even over yet and hadn't even started.

Kind of makes me think everyone who didn't believe me, who's Team Ivashkov, was just waiting for something like this to happen, waiting for anything to happen, to show me in a bad light. Anything to prove I'm the jealous, slutty, liar that the Mayor's son says I am.

I guess they got their chance.

My silent tears turn into sniffles and sobs that sound too loud in the extremely quiet car.

With one hand on the wheel Dimitri is offering me yet another tissue. I'm starting to wonder if he's always caring tissues and water bottles, knowing I'll need one or the other-or both-every time he sees me.

I wipe my face clean and my tears turn into silent hiccups of breath.

"You know, I haven't met your mother," he starts suddenly in his low voice, "but I know that my mother, no matter what any of her children have done or what's happened to them, will stand by them no matter what. I'm sure your mother will do the same."

I want to tell him that I know she will but I can't.

I wish I could. I want to. I hope in the future that I'll be able to but right now I can't.

This is just too much for me to process let alone my mother and how she'll react to this.

Impulsively I ask, "Can we go to that park again, the one you took me to yesterday?"

Dimitri looks over at me, glancing from me to the road like he's debating if it'd be better that I go straight home or to indulge my reluctance.

Without answering aloud, he pulls onto the highway and soon we're in the city.

I figure a little procrastination is the least I deserve and then only short reprieve I'll get once things start getting ugly back home.

I want to go to the park to really enjoy it for a little while. It feels so long since I've been here even though it was only yesterday. I want to sit on the grace, stare out at the lake and at any seemingly normal people walking by with less complicated lives so that I can envy them for a little while.

I can't seem to stop thinking about my impending talk with my mother though. She's been working more than usual and she's looked more than exhausted but I know she'll sit and listen. I can see it play out perfectly in my head. I start from the beginning and work my way to today. She'll reach a hand out to tell me she's sorry she hasn't been home more, she'll hug me, kiss my forehead, and then she'll tell me that 'we'll figure something out'.

It's what she usually does when I'm in trouble or something big is going on with me.

She did it when I was in elementary school and cried because I knew we didn't have enough money for me to go in the fifth grade field trip, in middle school at the first Father Daughter Dance, and she'd do it now.

I was only scared and worried about adding to the pressure and weight of worries always on her shoulders.

I thought about Dimitri's mother and grandmother and wonder how all this would affect them.

"Do you think your mother and grandmother will be mad at you?" I ask as we get closer to the park.

"For taking my side if Victoria gets into serious trouble," I add.

He thinks for a moment. "I think they'll understand. My mother and grandmother raised us to be independent and to make our own choices, hoping it's be the right choices. They'll know Victoria made her own choice instead of coming to us for help. I'm not saying what she did to you was justified at all by what Adrian did to her but I don't think she'll be prosecuted. They'll have a bit of sympathy since she's a victim too."

"I'm glad," I admit surprising myself.

I should be mad. I have every right to be. I am mad, in fact, but I'm not the only one who was victimized here. Lissa and Victoria were too. They just chose to deal with it in a different way.

"My sister knows I'd never really abandon her. She knows deep down that I'm always with her. She just has to come to me when she's ready."

It was clear that he was speaking more for his benefit than mine but I didn't say anything else until we pulled up to the park. I climbed out and slowly made my way toward the lake, Dimitri beside me. My ankle definitely wasn't getting any better with me walking on it all the time but I figured I'd have more than enough time since I'll be out of school for it to heal.

"How'd you find this place?" I ask as we cross the bike path to the other side.

"My friend, Ivan, that I told you about. We use to be roommates in an apartment not to far from here. It was something we planned since we were little: live in a nice apartment in the city and be wealthy," he smiles slightly as he talks, remembering his friend.

"At least you guys got your dream," I try to offer, to atone for any pain I might have caused by asking about Ivan.

"Yes, I'm grateful for that. He was a good friend, a good guy."

We reach the point where the grass starts to meet the lake and sit down on a nearby bench. The sweet pungent smell of the lake and the feel of the cool air float around us and immediately soothe me.

"Do you remember when I told you about my father?" Dimitri asks after a moment of just sitting and enjoying the scenery.

I nod. "You said he was a pretty bad guy," I remember.

"He was. He was awful. Sometimes it'd get so bad that Ivan would tell me that he could hear the yelling from his house even though he lived pretty far away. Sometimes it was so bad that I'd just leave, run away to Ivan's house or sometime he'd come to me and we'd leave."

"Where did you go?" I asked, feeling like there was going to be a bit of advice at the end of this story.

"Here. We had taken the late bus one time and it dropped us off at that bus stop over there," he gestured across the street. "We'd come here where it was quiet and seemingly safe. Pretty stupid of us, two kids running in the middle of the night to a dark park. I guess, people do crazy risky things like running away when they're scared, though."

I turned to look at him and met his eyes. They were the lightest brown possible and I could practically see all of the sincerity and care that he seemed to carry with him.

"You think I'm going to run away."

"I think that like Stan told us, things are going to get even harder than you thought possible and running away is going to seem like a good idea at some point," he answers.

I'm a little bothered at first that after how many times he told me he believes how strong I am, that I can get through this, that he thinks I might run from my problems. I'm so bothered that I don't say anything for a minute or two before it dawns on me that he means well. He isn't saying I'm a runner. He's saying that things are going to get tough and when they do, it's better if I don't runaway.

"I think about running away all the time," I tell him. "Even when things seemed okay, when I thought I had the perfect boyfriend, good friends, and nice possibly bright future ahead of me, I thought about it. I'd never admit it back then, but none of it felt real. Sure if felt good to be kind of popular and the center of attention but sometimes it didn't feel like something I really wanted. It felt uncomfortable."

I feel weird telling Dimitri secrets I'd never even told Lissa but he knows about the worst nights of my life and regrets. I've cried raw and hard in front of him and he, in turn, has shared a few secrets and stories with me. I can tell him this and the best part about Dimitri is that he won't judge. He'll listen.

"My mother doesn't talk about my father at all. She's only mention him one time to me. I was upset about not being able to go to the Father Daughter Dance like everyone else and she hugged me, and kissed me on the forehead, and simply told me that my father, even though he'd wanted a family, he was the one who was missing out by leaving and never looking back."

I pictured it in my head as I spoke even though I was just a baby when he left. My father with a suitcase in his hands walking out the front door without even a glance.

"I know she was trying to make me feel better but it made me think that maybe he left because even though he had what he thought he wanted, it wasn't enough, it didn't feel right so he runaway. So when I got to high school and had everything I thought I wanted and it didn't make me completely happy, I thought about running away. Maybe running to find him and then we'd go back for my mother and live happily ever after."

That was what I wanted most. A happily ever after. After everything that's happened today, it didn't seem like I was anywhere close to getting it.

Dimitri ran a hand through his hair and stretched his legs out in front of him, tapping the one leg he'd been shot in. I don't even think he realized he was doing it.

"That sounds nice," he says after a moment. "Happily ever after."

"Yeah it does," I agree. "I just don't think it's real anymore."

"Me either sometimes," he exhales, still tapping his leg.

A question comes to mind as his long fingers drum slowly and silently on his legs sheathed in jeans. It felt good talking about something for a little while that wasn't about everything going on. I knew after today, it'd be the only thing I could think or talk about.

"I know you said that you couldn't go back to being a cop because of your leg but why didn't you just do desk work. You'd still be helping people, kind of?"

He gave a barely there smile. This entire time his gaze ahs been fixed on the calm waters of the lake but I glance at him ever now and then just to see his reactions, expecting him to just leave.

"I thought about it. I was offered desk work of course but I just couldn't do it. Part of the thrill of helping others is physically interacting with them, saving them. I felt trapped behind a desk, a constant reminder of what happened. So instead of choosing something that involved me feeling sorry for myself, I decided to stay active and open up the self defense class. Maybe I couldn't do the really physical stuff but I could help people that could."

"That's nice, hearing someone wanting so badly to help others," I tell him. "You don't hear that everyday. Just feels like people are getting meaner and no one wants to help anyone any more."

"I feel that way sometimes too, when some of my students share the stories of what's happened to them. But then it makes me feel better knowing they're learning to stand on their own without help but that if they need it, I'm there."

I believed it. Dimitri seemed like the kind of guy that would fly to anyone's aid in a second if he was needed. I'd experienced it myself.

"I still feel trapped sometimes when my leg is really bothering me and I have to sit down and not be so active but I try to think about the fact that I'm still alive and still able to help people in my own way, different than the way I planned," he continues.

"So your plans after high school included, living with your best friend in the city," I started to list.

"Yes."

"Being a cop, helping people in general."

He nods.

"What else?" I ask curious, wondering if I'd have my own plans after high school, after all of those was hopefully over. I never really looked further than leaving town.

He smiles at the lightness of the conversation and hums to let me know he's thinking. "I want to eventually live in Russia for a little while since I was a baby when my family moved here."

"Isn't it cold there, like Alaska, snow storm cold?"

He laughed out loud, a soft easy going laugh and looked over at me. "They have weather similar to Montana's," he informs me.

"Well then where's the fun if there isn't twenty four hours of snow?" I ask wondering how we shifted from such heavy to light topics so fast.

"You like the snow?" he asks surprised. "I'll be honest. I kind of peg you for a beach lover, someone who wishes for the sun twenty four hours."

"I like the beach but when it snows, it feels good to just get all comfy in layers of blankets and clothes and sitting around the house with nothing but hot chocolate and TV."

"That does sound pretty good," he agrees still smiling softly. He runs a hand down his face before asking, "what about you? What do you plan to do when you finish high school?"

His use of the word 'when' instead of 'if' doesn't go unnoticed. I appreciate it, his certainty that I'll come out of this unscathed and looking forward to a bright future.

I shrug. "Never really thought about it. I want to leave this town for sure. I just don't know where to go. Disneyland sounds like fun. I've never been there. I've only been to the beach twice. I wanna go some place busy where there's a lot of people and I can just live my life unnoticed in the crowd, see the twinkling city lights and air pollution."

He laughs at the last part.

"There are beaches and Disneyland in California," he offers. "That might be a nice place. although, they don't get snow year round."

"I can deal with a little bit of now snow but I expect perfect beach days, a few nice rainy days, and then a bit of snow."

"I'm sure mother nature is working on the perfect place for you," he jokes and I manage to laugh a little for the first time today. It feels weird. "You don't want to go to college?"

"Not even an option. My mother said she always planned to use the same college bank account her mother set up for her but there's never been enough and when there was a little bit of money it had to be used for bills or something."

"There's financial aid," he points out, and I realize he's trying to paint a picture of a better, hopeful future for me, a picture I don't have in my head just yet.

"Yeah but I don't know. Before all these happened I thought I have to go to college because that's where everyone else is going but now...I feel like one of those people that has to find herself before I do anything institutional."

He nods like he understands. "You have the restless feeling, wanting to get out and explore. I feel that way sometimes too. Maybe travel a bit before I live in Russia."

The image of a world map with Dimitri on one side and his family here in Montana on the other side appears in my head.

"What about your family?"

"They've always talked about going back to Russia too. We're pretty close so when one of us moves, we all move."

I had to laugh at that and when I did he looked at me as if he was as surprised as I was by the sound.

"Even if they didn't come back to Russia with me we'd plan a lot of visits and talk on the phone of course," he continues. "And of course I'd send money back to them if they needed it but with a mother that's a doctor it's very unlikely they're need it."

"That's cute. How close you guys are."

"You and your mother aren't close?"

I start to tell him we are but then I really think about it and compare what his idea of close might mean. We're only close because it's the two of us and we're all we have to talk to. We don't really talk about the big important stuff and we hardly see each other. I don't think my mother knows what my favorite colors are or what TV shows I like and I don't think I know how she likes her coffee or what's her favorite outfit that she has.

We're never together long enough for either of us to ask.

She cares about me and loves me though and that's all that's ever mattered to me.

"Not really...in our own way I guess," I answer truthfully. "It feels like we're roommates sometimes instead of mother daughter. We hardly see each other."

"She works two jobs?" he asks, genuinely interested.

I nod. "She's tired all the time, comes home, has a few beers, and then goes to bed. Sometimes she's a little overwhelmed. I heard her tell my grandmother once before she died, they were talking about what my mother's life would have been like without me and she sounded so...wistful and sad that her life wasn't like that. That was one of the first times I thought about running away. I figured it'd be easier if she only had herself to worry about but I couldn't do it. I tried looking for work to help her out a little but I could find anything. Whatever I end up doing in the future, I just hope it's something that involves enough money to send back to her and help her, show her how much I love her."

"She knows. Every mother knows, even when we don't say it."

"I hope so," I mumble. "I just worry that if I don't help her or show her in some way that I appreciate her, she won't want to deal with me, especially with all of this trouble I've brought her, and I'll wake up one morning and she'll be gone."

Dimitri leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees and looking toward me. "I know saying it isn't easy."

"It's not," I agree.

"I don't think your mother would leave you if you've made it this far with her supporting you. If you're really worried though, since you'll be out of school for a while, I could use some help down at the gym. It'd be behind the desk work because of your ankle but I could pay you and we'd have more time to work on your hand-to-hand," he offered.

I was so stunned at first that I simply stared as the wind blew his hair into his face and he tucked it behind his ears. After such a terrible day and last couple of weeks, something good was being offered to me.

"Are you...really?"

He nods, a little amused by my dumbfounded-ness. "It'd also be a bit of distraction while the legal side of all of this works itself out."

I can't help it. After so many long days of just wanting to scream, cry, and run all at the same time to escape the pain and hurt, after so many days of someone, Dimitri, being unbelievably kind to me just when I was starting to think everyone in the world was completely evil. I start to cry again.

He's a little surprised, an emotion I haven't really seen on him before, and sits up. He reaches a hand out cautiously, waiting for me to tell him it's okay to touch me and patting my shoulder when I nod.

"Roza?"

That nickname that rings so nicely, affectionately caring, in my ears just makes me cry a little harder. Body wracking sobs that have me heaving for air.

"I don't...did I say something to upset you?" he asks, worried I was having some type of breakdown.

He rests the hand on my shoulder and moves to squat in front of me so that he can see me clearly.

I manage to gather myself together enough to explain. "I can't...I...I...you're just too nice."

Of all of the responses, he grins at my incoherent babble and I laugh a little at my own silliness while still crying.

"If I hadn't of met you," I sniffle, "I'd probably be so far gone, so much more broken than I am now. I couldn't do any of this without you. I'm not strong enough to do this on my own." It's a little intense of a speech from someone he's known for a few weeks but it's the first words out of my mouth and I cant take them back.

I still wait for him to pull away, to tell me I have too many problems that I've dragged him into and caused his family. I wait for him to laugh at me instead of with me like before. I wait.

After letting me be in my own space for the longest time and not trying to physically reassure me, Dimitri stands from his crouch and offers me his hand. I don't hesitate even a second before I take it. He reels me in for a hug and, as grateful as I was earlier that he didn't try and comfort me with touch, I'm even more grateful now to have him here holding me.

"You're strong, Roza. You're strong and you're going to get through this. You're going to find your happily ever after," he tells me.

I'm so short and he's so tall that he's able to rest his chin on my head and his voice is low and muffle by my hair. His words twirl around in my head and give me a little hope that I just might make it through this.

"Thank you," I murmur.

As comforting as his hold is, I don't want us to always dwell on and part ways on a heavy note, so I change things back to a lighter conversation.

"So about that job..."

He chuckles at my lighthearted tone and I feel it rumble through his chest. I pull back to wipe my face and he hands me a tissue.

"It's yours if you want it."

I nod and blow my nose unattractively love. "The words 'thank you' don't seem appropriate enough," I tell him as I bawl the tissue up in my hands. "Maybe it'll sound more appreciative if I say it in Russian," I offer and I earn a full on smile that immediately helps lighten the mood more.

"Thank you in Russian is spasibo," he pronounces beautifully, his accent thick.

We start walking back toward the car as I try to pronounce the word and he corrects me, all the while trying not to laugh at my attempts. Dimitri's arm is loose, high around my waist, supporting me while I blow my nose again and try not to trip on the bad ankle. He supports me and I let him because in that moment, it's what I realize I really need and it feels...nice.

Safe.

Warm.

And nice.