August 20th
I had a visitation with Jack today, what a day, He wanted me there for one this afternoon and so Vince drove me. He tried so hard to pull me out of my mood. I sat silently stroking Neo's fur. Sadly, Neo would not be staying with me, Neo couldn't get along with Jack anyway.
"Come on Eddward, cheer up Buddy, It's only for a little while. Remember you're doing this for your Mother, that might help you" I didn't respond. What was there to really say? No amount of talking would get me out of it. If Vince really wanted to make me 'cheer up' as he said he would have turned the car around and drove home. I was already feeling anxiety. We pulled into Jack's driveway and I noticed the house was fairly large, how dare he give Melody such extravagant gifts when the best he gave Mother, who had never asked for anything but his love, well all he ever gave her was a ring that meant nothing and pain. I suppose Ii shouldn't hold too much against her but I couldn't help but have some anger. Vince turned the car off and we sat quietly for a moment before he spoke.
"You know what to do if there are any problems" He said and I nodded slowly He reached a hand into his shirt pocket and handed me his cell phone'
"I will come for you if you call your Mother, Try very hard to be civil with him please. If that means you're mostly quiet then so be it. Remember when you feel yourself getting angry, count to ten and use calm breathing. Would you like me to bring Neo back with me to get you?" He asked gently.
"Yes please, And thank you." I said hugging Neo and stepping out of the car. I made my way to the front door but turned back to look at Vince who nodded at me encouragingly and I knocked.
"I'd better get this over with." I thought. As the door opened I heard Vince start the car and drive off. I was on my own now. Melody answered the door with smile, I'm convinced it was fake. It was her whole demeanor that suggested it.
"Eddward, please come in, We've been expecting you." She ushered me inside quickly.
"No kidding" I said under my breath. Stepping into the house was like stepping into an entirely different world. It was a castle compared to the houses in the cul-de-sac. Complete with a long winding stair case leading to what I assume was where the bedrooms were. The walls were painted a pastel pink color and hanging on them were picture as far as the eye could see of Melody and Jack. Some of them individually and many more of Melody holding a very large white cat. We reached the sitting room and she offered me to sit down, which I did. There was no sign of Jack.
"Can I get you anything dear, water, are you hungry perhaps?"
"no thank you, Melody, so where is Jack anyway?" I asked casually. She seemed panicked and for a brief moment I thought that maybe this fake smile I had spoken about earlier was to make her anger at him not her dislike of me. Time would tell. She sighed.
"Eddward, I am truly sorry, Jack's going to be a little late. He wanted me to tell you that he's sorry and-"
"Naturally, he's always sorry. When can We expect him?"
"About three." She said almost apologetically.
" Of the ridiculous- 'work' I presume?" Melody nodded.
"Well isn't this just nice. Not at all responsible and I'm sure that judge who granted him these visits will love this." I pulled out Vince's phone.
"Please Eddward, give Jack a chance. I'm not happy with him either. Believe me. I know I'm the last person you want to be stuck with but could we maybe get to know each other a little after all I will be your-"
"Hold it, there is no need to go any further with that thought. I'm not ready to get into all that. I don't mean to be rude but now is not the time. Do you happen to have a number of where he can be reached?" I said angrily. She handed me a piece of paper with the contact information on it. I called the number. Jack answered the phone, it turned out to be his direct line.
"Good afternoon,this is Jack how may I help you today?"
"You can start by explaining to me what in Heaven's name you're doing at your desk when you said for me to be here, then you can tell me why I have to wait hours and how you plan to to explain to the judge that obviously you were not
interested in seeing me at all and I swear you do these thing just to annoy me" I realized then that I had begun shouting.
Jack was silent for a long time.
"Nothing to say Jack?" I said trying to calm down.
"No, No Eddward, You are absolutely correct in part of y our statement. You shouldn't have to be waiting like this and I am sorry, But I'm not just trying to annoy you. I know you have much better things in your life than me and I'm just dragging you away from them and not even being courteous enough to be there when you arrive. Will you give me twenty minutes, If I'm not there in exactly that time, You may go back to your Mother and I will say not one word about it. Please?" I sat quietly thinking it over. My dislike for Jack growing by the second. How dare he make me feel this way. This anger, rage, this pain!
"If you are not in this house in that time frame, I don't care if you're just pulling in or on the front step, if you are not in the house I'll be leaving and this will be brought up and hopefully your visitations will be taken."
"Fair enough." We hung up. I tried to count to ten and take in calming breaths as Vince had suggested Melody remain silent.
The large white cat from the pictures entered the room walked over to its owner and began rubbing its face on her leg for attention. It purred softly.
"Jack told me that you love animals, I remember seeing your dog what was his name?"
"Neo" I said shortly. She cleared her throat.
"Right, Neo, beautiful dog. I imagine he means a great deal to you. I also love animals and this is Azriel. He's been with me for a long while now and He's my best friend. I actually had three cats but sadly, Rain and Shakma have passed away. Old age you see" I listened to her information not really caring much, my main focus was on the clock and how long Jack had before I walked out.
Nineteen minutes Jack had less than one to go and I readied myself to make the call unfortunately Jack made it with about fifteen seconds to spare and He asked Melody to allow us some time alone. He sat down in the chair across from me.
"How are you Eddward, you look as though you're not feeling well." His pathetic false concern was easy to see through.
" as a matter of fact Jack, I'm not feeling well. I'm very irritated and I feel a little ill and lightheaded, It wasn't a lie, I have to assume that it was part of the extreme frustration I felt. With any luck He'd give up and let me leave.
Apparently, I had no luck today.
"Would you like to lie down, maybe have some water?"
"No Jack, I wouldn't. I'll be fine sooner or later, not like it really matters to you" He had only just walked in and already I was tired of him.
"you're wrong, I do care about both you and your mother-"
"save it Jack, I might be young but I'm not stupid. I can't keep doing this Jack, I can't and I won't" I said defiantly.
"You have to know that I mean it. I was an idiot for sabotaging the father, son bond. That's on me. I mean good lord Eddward, how long must I pay for my mistakes?" He said.
"the rest of your miserable life, and I hope if Melody does give you children someday, you don't act this way to them. Because one day when you need your children to be there for you I hope they pull the same thing. I want you to know what it's like to have your world ripped apart from under you. You'll have no one to blame but yourself.
I could feel tears threatening to fall, and I no longer trusted my voice. Jack remained silent. I stayed for another twenty minutes before calling Mother.
"Eddward Baby, you don't sound very good at all, are you alright?" She asked. I in honesty had pain in my chest and felt as though I may be suffocating slowly
"I-I don't know Mother can you please come pick me up?
"I'm at work right now Baby and can't get away but I'm sending Vince to get you and I want him to bring you here to to be looked at. I want you to relax and sit down until he gets there and just remember that it's going to be okay. I love you sweetie and I'll be waiting for you in the emergency area when you get here." I hung up with her and tried to relax. Melody brought me a glass of water. I took small sips and ended up lying on the couch. Soon there was a knock at the door. I heard Vince's voice but I felt too drained to react. Before I knew it Vince was In the house kneeling on the floor beside me.
"Eddward, come on Pal, how do you feel?" He preformed a quick exam and then helped me up.
"You're going to be just fine, We're gonna get you to your Mother and take care of you okay?" I nodded gasping slightly. I must have fallen asleep because I can't recall the ride to the hospital. I remember hearing the all too familiar beeps of the monitors I was again attached to. My Mother and Vince sitting beside me and my mind felt slightly clearer,
"M-Mother,I-" I started finding it easier to breathe
"Shh, It's okay Honey, take it easy, you had a really bad anxiety episode. You need rest. Have you been sleeping at all the past couple days?" I shook my head.
"Do you remember telling Vince in the car that your chest was hurting?"
"I d-don't really remember the car ride over here. I'm so sorry Mother. Vince I didn't mean to"
"The important thing is that you're just fine. Your heart is strong and healthy and we're taking you home in a few minutes. Your Mother and I are going to be there with you. Bad news is we need you on complete bed rest for a day or so to be safe. Can you do that for us?" Needless to say I'm not very happy about it but agreed.
I was given a prescription and sent home, I went straight to bed and Vince went to get my medicine. Mother tucked me in.
"Now, I Know you're not feeling well and I want you to know I'm just down stairs if you need me. Vince left his phone for you to call mine if you need me to come up. We'll be bringing you a television for you to use too. I've set water on the table right here and dinner will be on soon. I hope you'll try to eat." She kissed my head gently and after telling me she loved me exited the room. I closed my eyes only to sleep for several hours. When I woke I heard voices.
"Poor Sockhead, been through way too much in a short time frame. Lucky for us he's strong enough to take it." Eddy said he didn't bother to conceal his concern.
"Yeah, I can't imagine having to go through so much" Marie commented/
I felt the edge of the bed sink as if someone had sat down on it.
"My poor Lamb Chop. Don't worry. We're gonna help you through this." May grabbed my hand as I opened my eyes.
"M-May," I said sleepily.
I'm right here Lamb Chop, Eddy and Marie are with me. Ed had to look after Jimmy and Sarah or he'd be here too." She said soothingly.
"Yeah, Lumpy and uh Gravy send their love. As if a chicken even knows-" Eddy said the last part under his breath.
"How are you feelin' Double D, you look pale." Eddy inquired.
"Little better Eddy Thank you. May, Marie-"
"It's alright Lamb Chop we came to check on you. Marie was hanging around with Eddy and they called me. Just relax now. This is officially a stress free area. We'll see to that. Anna said we could sit awhile as long as you want. She says you'll be in bed a few days." May said softly. Everyone was making an effort to stay quiet.
"We'll be here to get ya through it. You just rest Double D, sleep if you feel like it we'll be here a while." Eddy said and I am grateful that they are so understanding.