Hurricane
Chapter Twenty-Six: The List
My ghost, Where'd you go?
I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me
My ghost, Where'd you go?
What happened to the soul you used to be?
- Halsey
(Ghost)
"What the hell are you doing here?" Cammie asked, as soon as Abby shut the door. Abby spun on her, her hands on her hips in a typical Abby fashion. It'd been a long time since Cammie had seen her aunt, and she hadn't planned a reuinion any time soon. Yet here Abby was.
Her aunt's eyes narrowed and darkened. "Do not speak to me like that."
Cammie met her glare with one of her own. She didn't reply. There was fire burning in her; bursting to lash out at Abby and hurt her. Cammie wanted to spit words and insults until she her breath ran out. Cammie had been angry a lot of people in her life, no stranger to hating within her family, but with Abby is was so much more than all that. It had been a betrayal, and that hurt worse than anything her mother could ever do to her. Cammie knew Rachel was evil. Abby wasn't meant to be too.
Abby sighed and let her gaze fall. She knew why Cammie was angry with her, she'd deserved it. But there hadn't been anything she could've done.
A silence stretched between them, tension thick and hard, weighing heavily on both of them.
"You left me." Cammie eventually said, her glare fading, her expression morphing into a mask of stone. She wasn't just angry; she was hurt, devastated even.
"Cam-"
Cammie started shaking her head and Abby saw that tears had appeared in her niece's eyes. She knew there were no amount of words that could fix that damage she had done. She'd left a deep, nasty scar on Cammie, one that could only be made by the broken bonds of family. Cammie wouldn't forget what Abby had done to her; how she'd left her in Rachel's grasp so close to an escape.
"I needed you," Cammie said, forcing the words out, sounding oddly out of breath; like she was reliving it over again. She was holding back tears, staring down at her hands; unable to look her aunt in the eye. She looked her age again; after all she was just only seventeen, still a child. She'd shrunken down and Abby saw her niece as young and innocent as she could ever rememeber her. "And you left me. And now I'm here."
Abby looked to the ground, feeling ashamed of herself. She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes and willed them to go away. She had done what she'd had to do for her family, for her husband and her kids. But Cammie hadn't been so lucky; she had been collateral damage.
"I know," Abby said. "I can't ever tell you how sorry I am Cam but-"
"With her," Cammie continued, her voice quiet but strong; certain. "You left me with her. After everything. You knew what she'd done and how much I hated her, and you still did it."
"Cammie please-"
"What? Let you explain?" Cammie said, finally looking up. Her voice had risen as the hurt turned to defiance, a look of candid anger blatant in her eyes. "What is there to explain? I know what you did, I know why you did it. But that's the thing: you still did it."
"Cammie she was going after my family and if I didn't-"
"I AM your family," Cammie cut in harshly. "I was your family first."
The tears burned in the back of Abby's eyes; she wasn't sure she'd be able to hold them back. "I know," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to."
"But you did."
"Cam," Abby tried again but Cammie shook her head and turned away. She sat down on her bed, facing the window. Her expression smoothed as she bottled away her disastrous feelings towards her aunt. It didn't matter if she yelled or cried; it wouldn't change anything. Abby watched as her niece turned from human to robot; something she'd only ever seen happen in her sister.
"Why are you here Abby?"
Abby hesitated, wondering if she should try to apologize again but it was clear forgiveness wasn't in the cards for them this time around. Abby decided to go along with Cammie's change of direction, although it alarmed her that she could shut off her emotions just like that.
"Your mother is plotting," Abby eventually replied, keeping her voice neutral.
Cammie rolled her eyes even though Abby couldn't see her. Like that was news to her.
"What else is new?"
"There's a list."
Cammie's ears perked up, she turned towards her aunt. "What?"
Abby sat on the bed next to her but left several feet of space between them. It didn't matter if Cammie had stopped the earlier conversation; there was still thick tension between the two, there always is when blood is involved.
"A list."
"I heard you," Cammie said impatiently, finally looking her aunt in the eye again. "What list?"
"Cam, you cannot repeat this information to anyone. No one, not even Zach."
Even though Cammie was already keeping her fair share of secrets from him, she narrowed her eyes. "Why not?" She didn't like being told what to do. She got enough of that from Rachel.
"I'm thinking you'll know after I tell you but I need you to swear."
"I don't know if I'm comfortable with that."
"It's not like you aren't already lying to him."
Cammie's lips thinned. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm guessing you didn't tell him why you're on this mission."
Cammie glanced away. "I'm guessing you know then."
"Yes, of course I know."
"Funny how the people on the mission are the ones kept out of the loop."
Abby shrugged. "It's political, and it's about clearance. Things are classified for a reason."
Cammie wanted to snort; she understood how the system worked. But this case already seemed to be the exception to all the agency's rules. Cammie looked at her aunt like she could see through her, giving Abby an oddly chilling feeling. Her expression was unforgiving and hard, something Abby wasn't use to seeing on her usually kind-hearted niece, but an expression she'd seen on Rachel's face too many times to count.
"What is on the list Abby?"
Abby looked away, seeming as though she would rather not talk about it.
"Abby?"
"You can't tell him Cam," she said again. "You can't tell anyone."
"Fine," Cammie snapped, impatient. She just wanted to know. "Tell me."
Abby sucked in a breath. Whatever she was about to say was big, Cammie was certain. It would change everything, Cammie was certain. The thought caused apprehension to tickle the back of her neck; as if things weren't already complex enough.
"It is a list of names. Names of people in the circle."
Cammie stared at her aunt. That was it? Names? Cammie could already name all of them off the top of her head.
"So?"
Abby shook her head as if Cammie was missing the point. "Cam, your mom's name is on that list."
To Abby's credit, Cammie hadn't considered that. But Cammie knew immediately that was why her mother was so desperate for Cammie to get her hands on that list. If it ever got out she'd be ruined, which is why she had neglected to tell Cammie what she'd been looking for when she'd arranged for her to be on the case.
"That isn't all," Abby continued, seeing the wheels start to turn in Cammie's head when she hadn't replied.
Cammie's gaze snapped back up to Abby's.
"It's not just names," Abby said. "It's records of all of the plots that they've been responsible for over the years. Every scheme, assassination, infiltration, terrorist plot, and murder they've ever committed. If the circle did it; it's on there, you name it. It dates back to the beginning of the circle and is current."
Cammie sat their absorbing the information. It seemed impossible; that there could be one database where all of that was stored and she didn't know about it. That wouldn't be an easy secret to keep and Rachel was the circle. Cammie would've known about something like that, or at least heard rumors at the very least.
"I don't get it," Cammie said, trying to piece all of this new information together, and why her aunt looked like she was in unbearable pain. "How can this exist? How does no one know about it? It isn't adding up."
Abby just gave her the same look; like she was missing something.
Cammie shifted, "is it electronic?"
Abby nodded. "It would have to be."
Cammie was quiet for a moment; her mind was going in circles. She was considering it from every angle. Cammie knew this is why Rachel had wanted her on this mission and why she'd been so prickly about Catherine Goode before she died. Catherine likely wanted that list just as bad. But . . . why did the Diaz family have it? There was something she was still missing, something Abby hadn't told her yet.
"Why is it here? Why hasn't the CIA gotten it yet?"
"We actually weren't sure it existed until a few weeks ago. And we don't know why the Diaz's have it but its looking like they're in the circle. And a big part of it too."
"No they aren't, I would know. Zach would know. Rachel and Catherine ran the circle; we would've heard something about it."
"Squirt, the circle runs deeper than you could ever know. That's why its so hard to infiltrate; because they are everywhere. There's no way you could know everyone on that list. It's all encrypted and it is updated by several different servers daily. The only people who can read the whole thing is the the one hardcopy that gets saved and stored each night. We've tracked its location to the Diaz residence."
"So they run the circle? And I never even knew. I always thought my mom. . ." She trailed off. She'd always thought Catherine and Rachel were the overlords of the hole operation, apparently she knew less about it than she thought she did.
"We don't know if they run it; they could simply be its safe keepers. The only way to find out is to get that copy. That hard drive has priceless information to the CIA, which is why the circle would do just about anything to keep it. And why the people in the circle that don't have access to it would want it."
"Which is why Zach and I are here."
Abby nodded. "We didn't know about the list beforehand. The CIA just thought that the Diaz family might be in league with the circle, not that they were sitting on that kind of information. Otherwise different agents would have been assigned, no offense. But since you two have been doing so well and making so much progress that we can't exactly take you off."
"Not that my mother would even allow that," Cammie trailed off. "She knew Abby, she knew and that's why I'm here. She knew before everyone else. That's why she was so intent on me getting to Zach. So that Catherine couldn't get it and expose her. She knew."
Abby nodded glumly. "I suspected she knew. She's got her claws in deep on this one. I knew she arranged for you to be on the case; I just didn't know why until quite recently."
"Now I Have to find it, but once I do I'll. . ." She stopped, thinking about the real possibility of it all. "I'll be free. I can finally stop her."
Abby had a deeply strained expression on. It was eerily similar to the one Cammie had seen her wear shortly after having a bullet pierce her skin.
"I know she's your sister but Abby we can't keep letting her do this. This is the evidence we need, that we've been waiting for. I know I've been a part of it but I can't. . . I can't do it anymore. It makes me sick to my stomach these days. All the lying and . . ." she briefly thought of Zach but focused her thoughts. "I have to stop her. . . And now I know how. She didn't tell me what was on the list because she thought I would turn against her. I finally have the leverage I need to get her put away. And then Mac can come home and..." she trailed off, tears showing her eyes. "I can see Tibey. I can help her. I won't be under my mother's thumb anymore." The thought seemed to be good to be true. Could she really be free of her mother? Abby's expression hadn't changed; in fact, she looked even more disturbed.
"Abby what is it?" Cammie finally snapped, why couldn't Abby just get on board and be happy for her? It wasn't like there was any love left between the sisters.
"Cammie," she sighed, glancing away. "I want nothing more that to take Rachel down; I've been trying to find evidence of her work in the circle that would stick for years now. I want to, believe me but. . . it isn't that simple."
Cammie's eyes narrowed. "She's despicable Abby, I hate her."
Abby shook her head. "I know Cammie, I haven't known my sister for a long time, she became cold and dark many years ago. It's not that, I . . ."
"You're acting like you are on her side! What are you not telling me? Why don't you want to do this?"
Abby looked away, she didn't want to say what was troubling her; Cammie could tell.
"I don't want to do this because I'm on your side," Abby finally said. "Cammie, your name is on that list."
With those words Cammie's world stopped and she was certain now more than ever: she was going to be sick.
:*:*:*:
It was as cliché as it could get.
The walls were tall and thick, grey all the way through. The people that she'd encountered couldn't seem to remember how to smile for the life of them. The air was dry and unwelcoming. The floor was cold even beneath her shoes and each step felt like a mile. The suffocating air made her feel like she couldn't remember being happy; everything was just so dreary. But she was a criminal, she supposed; that was how it was meant to be. She wasn't meant to feel at home, to feel comfortable. No, she was meant to be intimidated to feel determinedly unwelcome. Everything about the place screamed "you shouldn't be here," and Tessa was sure: she shouldn't.
But Joe Solomon gripped her elbow, steering her through the dark sea of lost faces that looked down upon her. It gave her a weak amount of confidence. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Joe was the only reason her legs hadn't turned to noodles.
"We're here," he said, in a voice that was emotionless yet comforting at the same time. Tessa had to hand it to him; he knew how to communicate with people. Tessa nodded and followed Joe into an impossibly colder room that gave her goosebumps. She was uncomfortable; but she was supposed to be.
That was what happened to criminals.
"Theresa Meredith Goode," Joe said in an oddly formally voice, announcing her. Tessa stepped forward, into the gaze of five pairs of eyes that watched her with impassive cold eyes. Tessa recognized Rachel easily; she'd been around enough in her childhood for Tessa to draw the connection. She saw the woman that had told her where Zach was, which hadn't been too long ago. She couldn't believe she didn't recognize her at the time. Rachel's eyes were bleak and vindictive, Tessa felt a shiver.
"Theresa-"
"Tessa," she interrupted, knowing it was probably stupid of her to do so. "Please."
"Tessa," the man in the middle said, with a small smile, which somehow managed to calm Tessa the slightest. She nodded at his correction, accepting it much more easily
"Please," he continued. "Sit."
She didn't want to. The superiors looking at her made her want to crawl back inside her skin; pretend she didn't exist. She thought for a moment that Joe had sabotaged her; that he was set her up. He was CIA through and through, what really was to stop him?
"Tessa," he said in a comforting tone and she relaxed; she couldn't help it, he'd been familiar for so long. "Sit, everything is going to be ok."
She didn't move.
"I promise," he added.
She tried to relax, but it was certainly easier said than done. Joe's grip on her elbow loosened and she managed to breathe like a regular person again. She sat down, her posture rigid but not unwelcoming considering where she was.
She took a deep breath; she needed to relax. She raised her gaze to that of Rachel Morgan; refusing to back down.
After all, Zach had been through the same thing, right? If he could do it and get of scot-free; so could she.
"So," the man in the middle continued, she didn't know his name, "let's get started."
:*:*:*:
"What the hell was that?" Zach wondered aloud as her heard strange noises coming from the hallway behind him. Macey had fallen asleep on his shoulder and didn't even stir when he'd spoke. Zach glanced at her quickly, wondering why she'd fallen so deeply asleep.
She must've been dealing with a lot; more than she was leading on.
He gently cradled her head with his hand, lowering her to the couch cushions when he heard it again. He hadn't been sure what it was the first time but now he was; someone was throwing up. He'd heard the door opening and quick footsteps to Cammie's bathroom but he hadn't thought much of it. Until moments later he'd heard a disturbing wrenching that flooded his ears.
Cammie was vomiting, for whatever reason it was for didn't matter; he needed to help her.
He briefly pulled a blanket over Macey and then walked briskly to the bathroom that was adjacent to Cammie's room. The light was on and the door was shut and if he had to guess; locked.
"Gallagher girl," he said, hoping to sound normal. "Are you ok?"
His response was another round of Cammie regurgitating her insides.
"Cammie!" he said. "Let me in!"
The door didn't open and there was no movement within the bathroom.
"Cameron!" he said, raising his voice, a pit of worry brewing in his stomach.
"I'm fine," came a groggy reply from the other side. Zach breathed a sigh of relief; at least she was breathing.
"Zach," a smooth voice interrupted. Zach glanced down the hall to see Abby Cameron standing outside Cammie's bedroom door. She was composed, her face an emotionless mask. "Cameron is fine," she continued. "Just give her a couple minutes."
"What happened?" Zach said, staying by the bathroom door but locking his eyes on Cammie's aunt.
"Poor kid just started feeling sick out of no where," Abby lied easily. "She must've have eaten something bad."
Zach had been with her all day; had eaten everything she had. He knew that wasn't why Cammie was sick in the bathroom at the moment.
"Did she say what?" Zach asked, seeing how far Abby was going to take this lie.
Abby glanced to the ground, clearly contemplating something.
"It wasn't anything she ate," she eventually admitted, knowing Zach was the type to keep pressing for answers he wasn't meant to have. "I gave her some news," she continued. "She didn't take it well; clearly."
Zach narrowed his eyes. "What news?"
Abby shook her head; he already knew he wouldn't tell her. "It's none of your concern; if she wants to tell you she will."
She wouldn't, both of them knew that much.
"Is she going to be ok?" Zach asked instead, knowing Abby wasn't likely to give him any valuable information.
Abby shrugged, her face was impassive. It was easy for Zach to tell that she had no problem lying. She'd been a spy longer than he'd been alive; she knew exactly what she was doing. Zach could brag about being a superstar spy all her wanted but it still didn't compare to the experience of a lifetime.
"Is she going to be ok?" he repeated.
"She'll survive," Abby said. "I've got to get going. I'm sure she won't be in there much longer."
"That's it?" Zach asked. "You march in here, unannounced, when Cammie's clearly pissed at you, deliver her news that makes her physically sick and then bail? Some family member you are."
Abby's eyes hardened. "What happened between me and my niece is simply none of your concern. Your family has a bad track record of sticking their nose where it doesn't belong; don't follow the tradition."
She began to walk away. Zach wasn't satisfied with her response.
"I'm not like them," he called to her.
He didn't like it when people drew comparisons between him and his family. In fact, he hated it. He wasn't like his mother; he wasn't like Natasha. He was good.
Abby turned back to him, the hardness in her eyes gone. It was replaced with a strange mix of understanding and compassion. He hadn't known Abby all that long but compassion hadn't been something he'd associate with her from his first impression.
"I know Zach," she replied quietly. "I know." He didn't see how she could, but she seemed covinced and he wasn't going to tell her otherwise.
Cammie wretched again and Zach's attention immediately returned to the bathroom door.
"Cam, just let me in."
Abby watched him, regarding the evident concern on his face. He cared about her, Abby could tell. She knew young love when she saw it. Something twisted in her gut because she knew it wasn't likely to end well. These sorts of things hardly ever did. Still she couldn't help but be proud of Zach, although she didn't even know him. But breaking apart from something like the circle is no easy feat. He was courageous and he was a better man than anyone ever expected of him. In a different world Abby would've hoped it would work out.
"What?" Zach said, noticing Abby staring at him with a strange expression.
She blinked. "Nothing," she said. "I've got to go. Take care of her."
Zach nodded, "I will."
She turned to leave but stopped. "Oh and Zach?" she said over her shoulder. "Be careful. No one is ever who they say they are."
And before he could reply she was walking away and the lock was turning on the bathroom door. Zach's priority shifted and he rushed into the bathroom to check on Cammie.
"Cammie," he breathed, Abby long forgotten.
She was laying on the floor looking frail and almost broken. Her skin was pale, her hair seemed washed out. Zach had only ever seen her strong and determined, and when she was vulnerable it wasn't like this. He didn't think he'd ever seen anyone look like this; she was destroyed.
"Cammie," he said again, sinking to his knees beside her. "What happened? What's wrong?"
She closed her eyes and shook her head. Zach thought she might puke again.
"Everything," she croaked. "Everything is wrong."
And the plot thickens
LMKKKKK what you guys think! Shit is about to go down!
Would love love love to know what you guys think is going to happen. I'm trying to figure out if I'm being predictable or not lolll ;)
Still tryna crank this story out.
Alsoooo for those fo you who are binge reading this I would seriously appreciate plot holes beings brought to my attention; or if you wondered where certain chracter are/what they're going to do. I'm not perfect; I make mistakes but I would like t know if I've made them so I can fix them!
Thanks homies!
Anyway I'm doing shoutouts bc I can
SHOUTOUTS!
Be. Happy. Be. Healthy: First I dig your user name; words to live by. Hope you eneded up reading the last chapter and liking it! And I appreciate the understanding; it's nice to know that you like my stuff whether its inconsitent updating or not :)
RosesAndSmiles: Luv your username too! Glad I can make you day a bit better; sometimes all you need is a good reading fix! Thanks for your lovely words of encouragment and I hope you like the chapter!
AllyCarterFan: THANK you for being such a constant reviewer and fan, I always love to read your reviews because I recognize your user name now lol. Sorry bout the preview; but now you get to read the whole scene, woohoo! Thanks for understanding the Zammie situation; real life relationships are messy AF and I'm sure being a spy makes them that much more complex. You best be liking Preston and Mace, they're my favs (second favs obvi)! But you can be happy bc they're not even in this chappie! Thanks for sticking around boo! Can't wait to hear from ya again!
pk21: Thanks dude! Do you mean update or edit? If you mean update: here you go! If you mean edit: I try to but honestly I'm not perfect; if you see mistakes lmk, I will take no offense. I don't like bad grammar but I do often miss it.
gabergirl: Thank ya girly! Glad you enjoyed, read on!
ZammieWriter2000: Update wasn't super soon, but at least I did it right? lol. And so happy you love it and like my writing! ANd thanks for the vacation wishes, I had fun. Thanks for reviewing and I look forward to hearing more from you!