This story has way too many views. O_o We're nearing thirty thousand. And a hundred reviews, too! Whoever hits one-hundred, gets a double request!

And Super-Zelda-Fanatic, remember what I said about foul play? You better watch it. (She hit both ninety and eighty.) =p

Anyway, enjoy!

"You're dangerous," Link declared one day, flung across the couch in Zelda's office, earning himself a sharp glare from time to time.

"One wouldn't think so, looking at you," Zelda grumbled, tapping the table with her pen, thoroughly ruining the feather. "Why are you lounging like that, when you're supposed to be my bodyguard?"

"Ah!" Link exclaimed, stretching his arm to point straight up in the air. "You give me reason to prove my point! See, I'm lounging like this, because you are dangerous, more so than I am."

"Link, my battle skills amount to formal training, I can duel very nicely, but in a real and dirty fight, I'd be minced meat in two seconds flat, unless I was fighting a fairy!"

Link let out a bark of laughter, grinning from ear to ear. "Not that kind of dangerous! Oh, Goddesses, no. I'd be surprised if anyone honestly expected you to be as capable with a sword as you are! No, your danger lies entirely in the fact that you, milady, is entirely too well loved by your people. If you gave them a sweet romantic story about falling in love with someone beneath your august self, you'd revive romance in the heart of every Hylian. And if you were to die, it would start a massacre like nothing before! Every country with even the slightest grudge against Hyrule would be overrun and slaughtered."

"Link! That's awful!"

"Exactly, and thus I can relax, because everyone knows that's what's going to happen." Link nodded wisely, then suddenly froze to thoughtfully tap his chin.

Zelda enjoyed the silence for about half a minute before getting worn down by the long looks Link was sending her way. "What?" she snapped, glaring at him.

"Have you thought about falling in love with someone beneath your august self?" he asked audaciously, as if it was an utterly innocuous query.

"I need a consort, don't I?" Zelda ground out, forcibly signing her name at the bottom of a sheet. "Sooner or later, I'm going to have to choose a reasonably agreeable man to fill that role."

"Am I agreeable?"

"Aggravating more like. Now, stop blinking at me like that! You look like a maid trying to seduce a dashing knight, and I do not much care for the comparison!"

"However do you manage to spit those high-end words out like that!" Link asked, rearing in surprise. "It does lend a certain venom, granted, but it's difficult to use them in a normal conversation, much less so when you're angry!"

"I find myself rather used to the words, having used the high language ever since I could talk proper. Now, why do you insist on bothering me if you persist I am not in any danger?"

"Because you look absolutely adorable when flustered!"

Zelda's forehead hit her desk. And did it again. And again. And again… And kept on doing so for about a minute or so, much to Link's amusement.

"Oh, sweetie, I forgot!" Link suddenly declared, clapping his hands together, rushing to continue before Zelda could object to the new nickname (she had already promised him forty-eight hours in jail if he ever called her 'sweet-cheeks' again). "The council told me to tell you that they really, really, really urge you to choose a consort that has the publics favour. Like… Me!" He tried to sound like he just realized he was a good candidate, but rather failed.

Especially since Zelda had just turned a much paler face towards him, expression nothing less than aghast. "Link… Are you seriously trying to both woo and repulse me at the same time?"

"Yes! Because that way I can have all the powers and comforts of being a king-"

"Prince-consort."

"-whatever, all the while keeping less than holy company with other men without disappointing you too much!" He was grinning again.

"Link, you're not attracted to other men."

He gasped. "How do you know that for sure?" he whimpered, hiding behind a cushion.

"You punched a man in the face for indecent exposure in my presence without twitching a facial muscle, but whenever a lightly clad woman walks by, you blush like a schoolboy and get the most innocently embarrassed expression. And besides, even if you were, your argumentation is flawed since the main reason for me taking a consort is to produce an heir, so you chasing off after other men would rather defeat that purpose, and I would be forced to divorce you after five years without a single conception." Zelda lifted herself off the table, and glanced at Link. And frowned. "Get that stupid grin of your face! Triforce, I can't even mention indecency near you… One might think you grew up in a monastery!"

"Hmm…" Link kept on smiling. "Well, Zellie, from the way I see it, your argument is for a marriage to me… So you do want to marry me?"

"Not really, no…" Zelda hit the desk once more. "But I am forced to seriously consider it within the next two years if nothing better shows up, which is sadly unlikely."

"Hey, look at the bright side! I doubt you could find any noble who would take this kind of verbal abuse and honesty and still smile sincerely at you and tell you that, in spite of your tendency to frown, you look as beautiful as the rising sun on the dew."

Zelda blinked into the desk, slowly turning her head to stare at him. "You either have no sense of pride, is hopelessly smitten with me, is a mixture of both, or you're the best con-man in the world."

"Why, thank you! Although the desk doesn't really suit you and is making it slightly difficult to hear."

Zelda smiled and Link looked as happy as he never had before. "You are really charmingly earnest, you know? If you weren't so frustrating, it'd be easier to see."

"You look too cute when you're annoyed for me to stop bothering you."

Whoop for stupidity. =p Please review and tell me what you liked/disliked. ^_^