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Too Late?
Emily paced her apartment like a caged tiger. Even after three hours, she could not get thoughts of Spencer Reid out of her head. They whirled around and around like bats spiraling out of a cave into midnight darkness and the hunt. The only difference is they wouldn't leave; they just squeaked and fluttered around her skull.
It's your fault. You waited too long and now it's too late, so suck it up and get over it.
Yeah, it was her fault. She had no one left to blame but herself and boy was it true what they said. The truth hurts. It hurt like the devil, so much that her throat burned from keeping back the tears.
She shook her head and headed to her kitchen. It was her fault and she wouldn't cry over something she could've prevented. Now, it was time to forget in the best way she knew.
CMCMCMCMCM
He sat with his head bowed over a file when she entered the bullpen. She drew in a breath and remembered every time she'd had to hide her real feelings from her parents as a kid. The mask over her emotions, the one that she'd come to depend on for years, the one that had cracked and nearly fallen away when she realized she loved Reid, flew back together and slammed into place.
Or, so she thought.
"Hey," he said to her and he was smiling in such a way she wanted to smack him.
Oh yeah, the mask is back all right.
"Hi," she said brightly. "How are you?"
"I'm great."
"I'll bet. Morgan told me about your special delivery from Atlanta."
He flushed red and she nearly lost it. Her hands gripped the edge of her desk so hard they cramped, but she kept the smile on her face.
"Yeah," he said. "I still can't believe it. Morgan actually gave me some good advice."
"He did?"
Oh god, did I just squeak?
If she had, then he hadn't noticed, thank god. He was too busy drinking from his coffee cup.
"Yeah, he didn't tell you."
"No."
"I'm surprised," he said perplexed. "I thought he'd take the credit."
"For what?"
"He's the one that told me to go with my strengths. I thought it wouldn't work, doing magic, but she liked it."
"She did."
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it when she asked me if she could call me. It was…" He stopped talking smiled at her. "I'm sorry," he continued, "I should just -"
"It's okay," she said as tears collected in the back of her throat. She cleared it and forced a smile onto her lips. "You deserve to be happy. I'm glad you found someone."
He frowned. "We'll see, but she's in Atlanta and I'm here."
"Well, Reid I think -"
"You're right," he interrupted as if he didn't hear. "I'm borrowing trouble again. I'm working on it."
"I - ah, I'm glad. I just want you to be happy."
"Hey," Morgan said as he sauntered into the bullpen. "How's it going, lover boy?"
Reid flinched away and glared at Morgan when his partner ruffled his hair. "Knock it off, Morgan."
Yeah, knock it off, Morgan.
She fisted her hands together so that she didn't reach out and strangle Morgan, as satisfying as that may be. Leave it to him to teach Reid how to get a woman to notice him. Why now? Why not two years ago before she'd fallen so hard?
Why didn't you make your move before Morgan became his tutor in the ways of love?
She made her hands relax. She even smiled at Morgan. "Sounds like you created a monster."
"Emily."
She lifted her eyebrows. "We're just teasing you, Reid."
He grabbed his coffee mug. "I need another cup," he announced.
Morgan slapped him on the back. "I'll go with you. You can tell me what else is new."
She watched them walk away and it felt like her last chance at happiness walked away with them.
Again, it's your fault. You should have spoken up when you had the chance.
She picked up the file from the top of her inbox and opened it. The voice in her head was inconvenient, but it always told her the truth. Maybe one day she'd learn to listen to it before it was too late.