She couldn't sleep.

It had been the same for the last few nights. She would curl up in her fiance's arms, listening to the gentle sound of his breathing, and watch him as he slept, his scarred face peaceful, blonde curls rumpled. Even though her own worries kept her awake, she was happy to be here with him like this, her head resting on his shoulder. Sometimes, she would climb out of bed to fix herself a glass of milk, and stand at the bedroom window, watching the night. Here, she could be alone with her thoughts, which more often than not troubled her these days. Even though she ate and slept as much as she could, she was always tired, and had even fallen asleep in class a few times. She told no-one of these problems, of the sickness and dizzy spells that often hit her...because she was afraid of what it might mean. Something she wanted, but at the same time was afraid of. Sighing, she sat down on the windowsill, gazing out at the still night. Lifting the mug to her lips, she sipped slowly, hoping the warm milk would ease her worry and help her sleep.

Lost in her own thoughts, she never noticed that her free hand had moved to settle on her stomach.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Aren't you hungry?" He watched her pick idly at the oatmeal he'd made her, his blue eyes reflecting worry. She nodded, eating a spoonful of the breakfast. He'd even been kind enough to add some syrup to the mixture, knowing how much she loved sweet things. He was always like that...he knew everything about her, and the same was true in reverse. Sucking the last of the syrup off the spoon, she smiled at him, inwardly giggling when he pinked and glanced away. Even though they'd known each other for most of their lives, her smile could still make him blush. Hopping off her chair, she came around to where he sat and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning down for a kiss. Mwu chuckled, tugging her down onto his lap.

"Someone's affectionate today," he remarked gently, brushing his fingertips across her cheek, and up through her hair. "You look kinda tired though. Did you sleep okay last night?"

"I...slept fine," she replied, hoping she didn't sound too evasive. "I guess I've just been studying too hard.." That was a perfectly good excuse, one that he would accept. She had been studying a lot recently, for the tests that were coming up, and what with that and work, it was getting tough to cope with everything. Closing her eyes, she snuggled close to him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck.

"You'll always be here, won't you? No matter what happens?"

He blinked in surprise at her soft words, tilting her chin up to look right into her eyes. "Of course I will. You know that...you don't even have to ask." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Murrue..what's wrong? You've been kinda distant the last week or so. And..." His hands moved down to her waist, encircling it easily. "You've lost weight. I know you've been eating. But..."

Murrue looked away, biting her lip. He'd noticed. Of course, she'd known that she wouldn't be able to hide things from him for very long, but she hadn't expected him to notice so quickly. "I'm okay," she said quietly. "I've just been working too hard, that's all.." Pulling away from him, she climbed off his lap and made her way to the spare room where her books were kept..only for a dizzy spell to hit her and cause her to stumble against the doorframe.

He was by her side in an instant, strong arms supporting her easily. "Murrue!" He lifted her up to cradle her against his chest, stroking her dark hair gently. "Are you all right?" She was very pale, the violet shadows under her eyes more pronounced than usual, but she looked up at him, managing a weak smile. "I'm fine," she replied softly, snuggling close to him. "Just a bit dizzy, that's all. Don't worry about me.."

"I have to," he replied, carrying her into their room and settling her in the bed. "Because you won't worry about yourself.." He leaned forward and kissed her softly, feeling her reply faintly. "Now," he said when they broke, "will you tell me what's wrong?"

She sighed, leaning back against the pillows. "I can't.." she murmured. "Because I don't know what's wrong..." She reached out, clasping his hand with her own thin one. "But I'll be all right. I'm just tired, I'm sure that's all.." Mwu nodded, but he was still worried. "Okay. But do me a favour. Stay at home today and get some rest, and let me take you to see the doctor tomorrow."

Murrue smiled again, the expression a little stronger this time, and squeezed his hand. "All right.."

She did stay at home, for most of the day, staying in bed and resting up, and pottering about the apartment. She fixed lunch, fed Callie, and read for a while, then grew bored. She knew that Mwu was right, that she would feel much better if she rested, but she hated being cooped up. Work was waiting, they needed the money, and that was more important than her just staying in bed all day. Changing into her overalls, she packed her bag and left the apartment to walk to work. If she came home before Mwu left work, he'd never know she'd been out, would he?

I'm still tired, but it's nothing I can't deal with. Besides, if I really am...what I think I might be, then we need all the money we can get..If I talk to Mrs. Simmons, I'm sure she'll give me some lighter work...

The day was pleasant, sunny with a light breeze, and Murrue smiled, letting the wind chase through her auburn hair. Being out here felt much better than being stuck in bed. Of course, Mwu would be mad if he knew she'd come out, but if she got home before he did, and kept quiet, it would be just fine. Coming to a crosswalk, she shouldered her bag, checking for traffic. Seeing none, she began to cross the road...only for a wave of intense dizziness to hit her without warning, far, far worse than it had been that morning. She couldn't breathe, each thump of her heart causing pain. Knees buckling, she fell forward with a soft cry, and tried to put out her hands to break her fall, but it felt as though she were moving through treacle. Hearing a screech of tyres, she smiled a little, closing her eyes. I'm sorry, Mwu...

Everything was silent. When she opened her eyes, all she could see was white. Is this heaven? Is Aunt Grace here? I... Closing her eyes again, she felt the tears slide down her cheeks and into the soft pillow she rested on. I don't want to be here...I promised Mwu I'd always be with him...that I'd never leave him... Opening her eyes again, she glanced around herself, wondering despite her sadness what heaven looked like. But to her surprise, she didn't see heaven. What she saw...was even better.

He was sitting there beside the bed she lay in, attention focused out of the window. One hand held hers tightly, sending warmth all through her body. He hadn't noticed she'd woken up, and his expression was downcast and worried. Hospital. I'm in hospital...Looking up, she saw a bag of blood attached to an IV stand, dripping strength back into her body, and smiled ruefully. I guess I was sicker than I thought... "Mwu..." she murmured, voice faint and hoarse. But he heard it. He turned round immediately, handsome scarred face lighting up in a huge smile, which made her heartbeat pick up instantly.

Shuffling his chair a little closer to her bed, he held her hand a little tighter, clasping it between both of his and bringing it close for a kiss. "Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"

"Terrible," she replied, lips barely moving. "Like I could sleep for a week.." She closed her eyes, breathing deeply, and for a moment, Mwu thought she'd fallen asleep again. Then she gazed up at him again, amber eyes full of love. "How...did I get here?"

"You fainted on a crosswalk...you were almost hit by a car, but they managed to brake in time. As it is, you hit your head when you fell, and got some bruises, so you're probably going to be pretty sore for a while. They found my cellphone number in your purse, which is how they were able to find me.."

"I see.." she murmured. "Did...did the doctors say what happened to me?" Bracing her free hand on the mattress, she tried to push herself into a sitting position, but was too weak to manage it, flopping back down onto the pillows. Mwu smiled, reaching out to caress her cheek. Murrue smiled, chalk-white face gaining some colour from her faint blush.

"The doctors said you're anaemic," he told her. "Probably because you haven't been eating or sleeping properly. That's why you've been so tired lately, and why you've lost weight. They had to give you a blood transfusion when they brought you in..."

"That's why...I've been feeling this way? Oh..that's the only reason?" Closing her eyes, his fiancee rested back against her pillows, and, to his surprise, a tear escaped from behind her closed lids, quickly joined by another, then another, the tears falling to soak into the fabric. Leaning forward, he lifted her up into his arms, letting her cry on his shoulder. "What's wrong, Murrue?" He had no idea why she was crying, but each of her soft sobs twisted his heart. "Please tell me..."

She hiccupped slightly, and managed a shaky laugh. "When I first started feeling like this.." she began, voice just above a whisper, "I wasn't worried...I was happy. I thought that..." She hiccupped again, thin fingers tightening on his shirt. "I thought that I might be pregnant. I know that...we can't have that right now, but..." Her tears fell harder. "I wanted it so badly...to be a mother. That's why I didn't say anything...why I didn't tell you I wasn't feeling well. I just thought that..."

Mwu closed his eyes, hugging her tightly. Now he understood. Murrue had hidden her illness, letting it get worse...because she had hoped it might be what she wanted more than anything...a baby. "God, Murrue..."

She hiccupped again, holding him as though she never wanted to let go. "I'm sorry.." she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder. "I made you so worried..and I..."

"Sssshhhh, love..." he said gently, running his hands up and down her back soothingly. "It's my fault for not seeing it. You got yourself all worked up about it, didn't you? Happy about it, but scared of it at the same time. I want...a family too, you know that. And one day, we can have one, as big as you like. A dozen kids, if it'd make you happy.." As he'd hoped, she giggled, some of her sunny nature returning.

"A dozen? That might be too many, but I would like more than one.." she said, letting him settle her back onto the pillows. Her worry had all but gone now, beautiful face peaceful and contented. "Thank you.."

"The best way you can thank me, princess, is to rest up, eat well, and get better. Then, when you're strong enough, we can go back to our beach for a few days. How does that sound?"

"That sounds wonderful," she replied, drowsy now. "Will...will you be here when I wake up?"

Mwu smiled, leaning down to kiss her gently. "I'll always be here. You know that..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

( I know how she felt lol. I got taken out by anaemia when I was eighteen or so. The moment at the crosswalk, with her dizziness, the pain in her heart..I got that, and I thought I was going to die. Turns out my sickness wasn't as bad as I made Murrue-san's, but it was bad enough.

Hope this is okay. Please read and review! )