Chapter 26: A Fragile Piece of Paper

I couldn't decide which home I wanted. I had chosen all the furniture I liked, delivered the Rolls Royce to an overjoyed Vinny, and taken care of everything else that I could within the week that I had, but I couldn't yet decide which home I wanted to keep. My mind kept running over the choices as I drove back to Pennsylvania. It turned out that I didn't need to hurry with that choice because William Trudel said it would take him until July to finalize everything. It really was a hard decision, and this was a good time to think about it because right now, I had plenty of time to think. I always took this particular road in Pennsylvania at a frustratingly slow pace for a very good reason. I didn't want to crash again if a vision hit.

The caution was well placed. I had just enough time to pull over and stop as a slightly clearer version of the interior of the diner engulfed me. I could hear the grill sizzleand the conversations of the humans in the small area. I could see the men sitting on stools and at tables. They all seemed to be scarred in some way.

"Heya Alice, yins want your regular teday?" Marty again greeted me.

I could hear the heavy sound of a hard rain against the roof.

"Maybe he'll come teday Alice. Don't you give up on him," called a very old man from a corner booth. He wore an old army hat from the First World War.

"Ya gonna sing fer us teday, Alice?" asked a man beside me.

"Sure Looney, just let me order." My voice was clear and happy.

A bell tinkled, and I tensed as I turned in the vision, but it was only the small black boy in the too-large, plaid hat. He looked around and smiled shyly at me as he walked over to me holding out another paper for me to take.

I was then back in my car, on the side of a dark Pennsylvania road.

I told them about Jasper? Why would I do that? Will I really sing for them? What on earth happened to make me choose a vile thing like Cherry Coke to drink?

There was no way that I would even consider singing for a human. Our true voices were one of the things we could not let humans hear. Besides, after the episode in Emily's restaurant, I didn't even want to say the words "Cherry Coke" again.

I fought the strong urge to go find that diner again. It was definitely somewhere in Pennsylvania. I knew that absolutely now because all three men had heavy Pennsylvania accents. I spent the rest of my trip arguing myself out of quitting school and starting my search again. The path was set - I just had to wait for the right time. I could not force what would happen to occur any earlier or later because it would simply happen. At least that is what I kept telling myself as I drove along the dark road towards my temporary college home.

x||xXx||x

I looked absolutely stunning as I stood by my pieces in the senior exhibit and art show. I designed my own pink satin dress with a tight waist and very low dipping neckline. I was, after all, a grown woman, so I decided to be a little more daring with my dress this evening. Besides, the neckline showed off my pearl and amethyst teardrop necklace.

My booth overflowed with nearly twice as many pieces as any other student. I could render them so much faster than my human counterparts - and I didn't need to sleep. However, the lack of sleep wasn't as much of a benefit in college as it had been outside the school. As far as I could tell, none of the students slept more than a few hours each night.

I stood beside my plethora of art pieces looking more than radiant and more than a little frightening. I couldn't stop smiling, and my teeth, even when accompanied by a stunning outfit, scared people. Still, most of the visitors, and almost all of the men came over to see my work and ogle at me. They only came within six to eight feet of me, though. Despite my frightening smile, most of the people complimented my work and carried on a short conversation.

My pieces were very tightly rendered and cubist or realist in style because those styles fit my vampiric perfectionism better than any other. My sculptures were intricate and complex, almost baroque in form. My work was very popular, and I sold almost everything. I donated the money to the general scholarship fund because the last thing I needed was more money. The pleasure of people buying my art was just as deep and fulfilling as having people compliment my fashions. It was my own way of staying in the hearts and minds of the people I had met here. I loved the idea that something beautiful I had created would bring joy to people I would never even know. Not many vampires could say they had ever done that.

I received even more compliments on the whole ambiance of the show. I had done what I could to stay within the limits of the meager budget. Truly, I had tried, and I'd managed to keep within the limits for the decorations and invitations. Almost. I only used my own money on the bouquets of roses. The catered Hors d'overs, champagne fountain, and the string quartet didn't count because they weren't a part of the original list. Really, though, how could you have a proper art show without the addition of artistic food and music?

There was one underlying truth that far outweighed any joy brought about by the party. More important than art work and beautiful music, much more important than a well designed dress and happy visitors, was the single truth that I had done it. I had, on my own, with no cheating, or at least very little cheating, earned a college degree. In two weeks, I would walk across a stage and get the only authentic paper I owned. My sense of accomplishment was overwhelming even for me. Twenty-four years ago, I was alone, confused, and controlled solely by my instincts. Now I was a professional artist and almost a college graduate. It was a very human accomplishment, and I knew it, but for me, it meant the world. I was a success.

o||oOo||o

I stood before my bedroom mirror seething with fury. I looked absolutely hideous. Technically, I looked fabulous, but the graduation cap and gown made me look like some type of cartoon. If I ever got my hands of the man that decided that we should wear cardboard squares and badly fitting robes for such a momentous occasion, I would happily rip him to shreds.

I wore the most adorable shirtdress under the pouffy and ill fitting robe, and no one would be able to see it. I was going to wear a lovely, lime colored, chiffon, calf-length dress to the senior dance, so this outfit, which I had spent quite a bit of time on, was going to go to waste. It was beyond irritating.

What made the whole situation worse was that I had seen Rosalie in her cap and gown. I had no idea of where she was graduating from, but I had seen her as clearly as if she was standing beside me. Even in the ridiculous garments, she looked wonderful. It didn't help my mood at all as I nearly disappeared in the endless folds my own graduation robe.

Of course, she looked good in everything. I had even seen her wearing the greasy overalls of a mechanic, and she still looked gorgeous. I laughed at thee memory despite my bad mood.

It happened during my last final. I was just finishing up the rather long essay when I was suddenly in a brightly lit room. I saw a pair of legs sticking out from under a newer looking Chevrolet. I couldn't imagine what on earth was happening, until Rosalie pulled herself out from underneath the car.

"That should just about do it," she purred with satisfaction.

"Are you sure, Honey? We need to be certain that he won't be able to catch us in this thing. He'll be mad enough to rip us both apart." I froze as I recognized the voice of Emmett. I did not need to see any visions of those two while I was trying to take an exam.

"Don't worry, he won't be able to start the car until I tell him what I did. A little lead on the spark plugs and some tinkering with the wires, and he will be totally lost. He isn't a very good mechanic, the little baby. He doesn't like to get his hands dirty."

"You sure are pretty when you're vengeful, Sugar," he said as his voice became a little too thick and low. I winced.

"Save it for the trip," Rosalie smiled as she strode past her mate. "I will be ready in a few minutes, and then we will be long gone by the time he gets home. Are you sure you got all the records?"

"Relax. It's all been done. You know, you may have gone a little too far this time, Rosie." Emmett chuckled.

"I don't think so. Do you remember how hard it was to scrape off the tar? Nothing is too far after that," she growled.

"Yeah, but to be fair, he was sure we would smell it. I don't think he meant to cover us in it. He just meant it as a fun prank, you know, to stop us from being so rambunctious."

"I don't care about his intentions," Rosalie called from the house. "I care that he ruined a bed. I care that it took me five hours to get the stuff out of my hair."

Emmett just shook his head. "Poor guy doesn't know much about vampire love at all, does he? He thought we would smell it before heading to the bed. Honestly, I don't smell anything from midnight until after dawn."

Rosalie returned with two large trunks under each arm, threw them in the back of a shiny truck, and they drove off through an oddly misshapen forest. I couldn't imagine a place with such knobby and strange looking trees; it was almost like a scene from another world. Then, I nearly laughed at the vision as I realized that they were driving through a pine forest that had hundreds or possibly thousands of records embedded in the tree trunks.

I was thankfully back in the classroom before anyone noticed my odd expression. I couldn't quite contain the giggle, though. I tried all that night to see what Edward's reaction was, but my visions don't always come like I want. All I heard was a mighty roar coming from the house and Edward running to get in his car. I didn't even get to see his face when he tried to start it. Stupid visions.

Now as I angrily stood before the mirror, I gritted my teeth in frustration. I should have looked as stunning as Rosalie, but instead I looked like a miniature nun with a board on her head. I tried to calm myself by looking to my anticipated graduation. I could suddenly see a vision of myself gliding across the stage and receiving my diploma. I watched happily as I took the diploma and shook the dean's hand. Then I saw the dean back away a few feet and look at me in confused fright.

I quickly grabbed my elegant black gloves and looked to the future again.

This time, the dean shook my hand and went right on to the next student. It would be perfect.

x||xXx||x

Helen, the red headed woman whom I had met my first day of registration, was waiting for the graduates in the large band room. She looked a little grayer and much more frazzled than the last time I saw her. She barked out our names and lined us up by degree and then by alphabetical order. We were a small graduating class because most of the other students had gone to war rather than stay and work at their degrees, but the band room was still full with bodies as we all jostled into place. Everyone in the room had a look of mixed pride and trepidation. Several students were already crying, but most of us wore smug smiles. I held my breath as the smell of humans filled the room to the point of pain. Then, Helen called us to attention, and we marched into the front rows of the auditorium for the benediction and the last lecture we would receive as undergraduate students.

As we walked in, everyone craned their necks and swung their tassels to try to see friends and family. I quickly looked around and saw Emily and her family where I knew they would be. Then, just behind them I noted a gap in the crowded seats.

In the middle of an almost perfect circle of empty seats sat three Russian vampires.

I beamed at them and they smiled back, looking very uncomfortable but also very proud. My smile was way too wide, and someone in the rows in front of me let out a frightened gasp. I didn't care. My friends were in the audience to see me graduate college, and I nearly burst with pride.

The valedictorian's speech was unusually short and to the point. He spoke in honor of all the students that the school had lost to the war and all the students who would still be called to duty. The whole graduation ceremony was very patriotic. After only thirty minutes, the dean called us one by one to the stage where several people from our departments shook our hands followed by the school's president who handed us our diplomas with a quick "Congratulations." We each crossed the stage, flipped our tassels - what a stupid tradition - and stood with our classmates back at our seats.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present to you the graduating class of 1944," the president almost yelled.

Suddenly, the air was filled with hats soaring up and then dropping to the ground. All except mine. Mine imbedded itself in the ceiling high above me. I laughed as I saw the four janitors who would stand below it tonight scratching their heads and wondering exactly how that hat got up there.

The crowd surged forward to congratulate us. I ran up to Emily's family first and thanked them all for coming.

"I really appreciate you guys taking the time to come to this. You have no idea of how much it means to me," I said as I took a scorching breath.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world," said Emily with a wide grin. Emily ventured a quick hug, and her parents shook my hand and congratulated me. I didn't have to say goodbye now because I would see her tonight at the dance.

I made my way to where the crowd was avoiding the three large Russians. They looked strained, but happy. They each hugged me with tight, stone hugs and smiled with confused pride as I showed them my diploma. None of us spoke because none of us wanted to take a breath. I grabbed a stray cap to keep and quickly led them out of the crowded room that was thick with the scent of humans. Vasily had no self-control around humans.

As soon as we were out the door, the onslaught began.

"How can you stand to be near so many of them for so long?"

"You didn't kill anyone? Not even one?"

"We are very proud of you. You are the first vampire I have known who has an education. Why did you do it?"

"Four years of your time for that little piece of paper? Why not get the lawyers to make one for you?"

"What will you do with that piece of paper? Will you get a job?"

"Can you come be a vampire with us now?"

All I could do was laugh. There was no way to explain it to them because I wasn't sure of the reasons myself. All I knew was that the small piece of paper meant more to me than any other possession I owned. It was the one real and true thing in my make-believe life. It was the only thing I had earned all by myself. They just didn't get it at all.

"Thank you so much for coming, it was quite a surprise," I said. It was, and I wondered how they had managed it. Surprises were a rare treat for me because my visions would have normally told me of their presence. "Did you like the ceremony?"

"It was...interesting," answered Vasily. "What is the string tassel for and why do they make you wear squares on your head?"

I laughed again, because there seemed to be no answer to those questions.

"How did you get here? I didn't even know you were coming," I said.

"We decided to come down just a few hours ago," answered Lena. "I wanted to come earlier, but it took a while to convince the boys. We are driving down to South America for a vacation. Paolo invited us to his home in Rio, so we decided to stop in and see you graduate. I am proud of you for doing this, but I still have no idea of why you did it," she laughed again.

"Would you like to come with us? We would love to have you come on our little adventure," said Ivan.

"I think I would like to visit South America, but I can't go right now. I still need to settle Paul's estate with the lawyers, but I would like to join you when that is done, I think." It was all so sudden, but I truly did want to see the Amazon jungle and climb the Andes Mountains. I needed some time to see my future first, but the idea was intriguing. "Come see my home, and we can talk about it."

The shadows were long enough after graduation that we were able to quickly make it to their Chevy and drive to my home. We reminisced about old times as Lena helped me get ready for the party. They applauded my lovely lime chiffon and taffeta dress, and Lena did a wonderful job curling my short hair. They left when I did, and I promised to join them in South America when I could.

I had to stay within the school's allotted budget for this dance, so I used a little vampire foraging and gave the dance a rural, spring look. Every surface of the gym was covered in some kind of wildflower that I'd scavenged over the last two nights. Emily brought quilts and gardener's things for wall hangings and decoration, and I foraged the farmland for old farm tools. It was perfect Americana and just right for the times. There was only the lovely and comforting here. Not one image of war remained in this gym.

It seemed that the whole student body made it to the dance.

For the last time at school, I was the star of the show. All the students knew my name, and I was astounded when two boys asked me to dance. It didn't last long, and it didn't go well, but at least I was asked to dance. Annette was right; dancing with a human is dangerous for any mortal soul who attempts it. I'm sure that I sprained the younger man's wrist, and the older one limped afterward.

Almost all the senior girls wore the old dresses that I had helped them re-make. I had nearly made them all brand new dresses when I saw the old things we had to work with, but I restrained myself. We worked for several weeks to fix up their old things. Making new ones would have been faster

I made my way to the boring refreshment table where Emily stood looking dejected. I could have done so much more with the food if they had just let me. Such a pity.

"What will I do for fun without you here?" Emily's voice barely rose above the band, but I could still hear a plaintive lilt to her tone. She really was going to miss me. A strange tightness gripped my chest.

"Look around, Emily, all the juniors you see will want a party like this one. So you should give it to them."

Her eyes widened as my suggestion sank in.

"Alice, I can't possibly do something like this for my class. How would I even begin to plan it?"

"We can plan it tonight after the party is over, and then you can be the star of the senior dance. You helped me with this one, so I know you can do the next one," I persuaded.

Emily had helped me tremendously with this final party. The last week of school was maddeningly sunny, so I needed someone who could go out in the daylight and get things done. Besides, I wanted to prove to her that she could do something big and wonderful. She was better at this kind of thing than she knew.

"But Alice, I don't think I can. What if I make a mess of things? I just can't do the things you do," she said in a defeated tone.

I put my hands on my waist and glared at her. There was no way I was letting her think that she couldn't do anything she wanted to do. She had befriended a vampire, how much more horrible could throwing a party be?

"Oh yes you can! I'll get you started, and then you can take over. You are a natural at making people happy, and it's time you used that talent of yours." I pulled her over to where the senior class president for next year stood. He was a rotund young man with thick glasses and a wide, friendly smile.

"This is Emily McKensey, and she helped me plan and pull off this party," I said with a little too much intensity.

He backed away from me just a bit, but stammered out a greeting to Emily. Emily just stood there looking like a frightened deer.

"She would be very good at planning next year's senior dance," I pressed, "and I think you should have her be in charge of it."

"You helped with the dance? Wow, you did a great job. I thought Alice did it all by herself, but if you helped, I definitely want you to be in charge of our dance next year." He was happily agreeing with me as Emily was rapidly shaking her head. The sight was rather comical with her thin, tall head and wide eyes saying no and his thick face and multiple chins all vibrating yes.

"Great!" I yelled. "We will get started on it tonight." I grabbed Emily's hand and led her over to a corner to begin plans for a dance I would not host. She was as pale as me.

"How could you do this to me?" It was a shrill accusation rather than a question.

"I had to do this to you. Emily, you have been hiding for far too long. You will do a great job with the party, I just know it. I think the war will be ending next year," I was sure of it, "and you will do very well to go with a patriotic theme. Just use plenty of color and upbeat music and it will be a hit."

Her eyes were glossy, and she looked like she was going into shock, but she was nodding gently and thinking. As I talked a small smile broke out on her face, and I knew the idea was taking root.

The party lasted past 3 am, and Emily stayed to help me clean up. It would have gone faster without her, but I enjoyed her company and her sweet chatter. The funny girl inside the woman was coming back to life a little. I envied her ability to heal.

As I drove the winding roads up to New York, I rubbed my hand across the leather binding of my diploma and slowly began to realize why this little, fragile slip of paper was so important to me. Everyone else I knew had a past that they could at least partially remember. They were someone before they were turned into stone. I was no one. I was seemingly born into this stone and crystal body that is the only life I have ever known. The only remnant of humanity that I could recall was a name that I wasn't even sure was mine. But here beside me, a single piece of paper proved that I could have been human, that I am, indeed, a good vampire, and that I can do whatever I want to do with this endless, strange life I woke to. I smiled all the way to Long Island.