ONE YEAR LATER

Stefan's POV

I was observing the beautiful summer Texas sunrise from the old wooden fence while waiting for Simon to get his ass back to me with the grain I've asked him for-he was taking too long but then again I shouldn't really blame him-he's blind after all and he's doing a perfect job even in the condition he's in-we both are actually. His uncle kept saying how proud he is of us two this summer-we were working hard and doing the best we could, even though he lacked his sight and I was a constant coughing mess.

Actually, I haven't gotten sick in a very long time-since we came here a month ago, I've only had a few rough nights and I considered this a progress, since I wasn't really taking as many medications as before. Simon said it's because the air here's different, while I claimed that it's because we both have something to do and don't feel so stuck anymore.

When Simon's dad suggested to send us away to his brother's farm for the summer, I was all up for it-I didn't really have anyone anymore in Mystic falls, with the exception of Elena, with whom I've grown extremely close, though we remained friends and the Fells, with whomI lived with for a few months after I got back when I decided to finally leave Atlanta and my brother behind.

Damon.

I was trying really hard not to think about Damon and the way things got wrong between us a little bit before I left. Actually, things got very messed up a few months earlier and for some reason, even though I know that it wasn't really my fault, I do feel guilty for everything that went down between Bonnie and him.

I wonder where he is right now-the team doesn't have games during this time of the year, but they still train and prepare for the new season. I wonder if he still drinks that much like after that month when everything went upside down. I hope no. And I hope he doesn't hate me completely.

I have no idea what's going on with aunt Sarah and the kids-it's like I live a completely different life now-I feel as if I've lost touch with two of the most important people in my life and actually, it is like this-it hurts me like hell to admit it, but it's like this.

I haven't heard from Damon ever since I left. When he realized that I've packed my stuff and just took the bus as far away from him as possible, at a time when Bonnie has decided that they need a break and that she should visit her parents, he wasn't only mad, he was disappointed.

He called at my aunt's and she picked up-I didn't even talk to him, I couldn't bring myself to do it-the last conversation that we had the night before has hurt me and plus I needed to go back-both Simon and Elena needed me. Simon especially. I always thought that the person to pull me back here would be Elena, but it was actually my best friend and his eternal desperation, which almost killed him.

Fletcher still claims that I saved his brother's life all those months ago. I didn't have it in myself to bring it up to him and admit that I might've saved his brother, but I left mine alone, especially after he has tried to give me a clean start and help me get better.

Anyway, I tried to avoid the thoughts about Damon yet again as I was reminded of the fact that I haven't heard from aunt Sarah in more than a month as well.

When I got back from Atlanta she didn't exactly welcome me with open arms-I'm guessing she and Damon had some kind of understanding that I'll stay there no matter what I want, but I proved them wrong and now I was back. She didn't threw me back on the street or anything like that, but she wasn't very thrilled to have me there-she still didn't have a stable job and she had a very hard time coming up with food on the table let alone anything else.

I felt bad that I was doing all this to her so I started working with Fletcher again in order to bring more money to the house, but even then she wasn't exactly happy with me either. She was breaking down, finally after all those years, she was finally getting weak and having a hard time to keep going. She started yelling more, she scolded Wes all the time and he would come to my room and cry, he was looking for a consolation from me and I gave it to him, even when I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open. Emily was constantly out with boys and was working in a diner, or so we were all thinking until one day aunt Sarah found out that they've fired her a few months back. Jane was still a child and couldn't work. Uncle Kevin was away for months-traveling in his big old truck.

Things started getting worse and to make it even more awful, as usually, I got sick in the winter. I really thought, that I wouldn't since during my time in Atlanta, Bonnie took good care of me and made sure I take my medications, she also arranged me to be examined by some really good doctor in her hospital, who of course, as the rest of them, said that there wasn't much he could do for me, except give me medications and pay a closer look on my case.

I felt like a lab rat with those people-trying their new drugs on me, all those x-rays, all those long hours waiting in the room for them to just give me a painkiller or anything else. Anyway, my time there wasn't bad for my health-on the contrary, things started getting better or so I thought, until I got back to Mystic Falls and everything started going down, for yet another time. I think the only good thing from me coming back was that I helped Simon get back on his feet and that I got to see Elena more often.

So, I got sick that winter and this time it wasn't only about me, because Wes caught it as well and got so bad, that they had to take him to the hospital. I felt so bad for doing this to him and I knew aunt Sarah was blaming me-I was a walking reminder of her son lying on his dead bed and one night when I have come downstairs to ask her for some help and tell her that I don't feel right again, she burst out at me and spilled everything going on her mind. I couldn't believe all this was happening, but then again-I understood her. She was afraid to lose her only son, or worse-him getting in the permanent condition that I was in. She hated me for doing this to her little brown haired ball of sunshine who loved everyone and everything and I hated myself as well.

So I took my stuff-they weren't that much and I went to the Fells. Their house wasn't so full at the time being-there was only Simon, Summer and the older brothers Oliver and John. John was a senior and barely got home anymore-we got along really great with him, since he worked with his father, Evan and Fletcher and I often joined them. He was a good guy. Oliver was two years older than me and Simon and he was the most quiet person I've ever seen, honestly. He was a bit of a nerd-I expected of him to become the next president or something like this.

Anyway, I slept in Fletcher's old room until I got back on my feet and started working. I had no idea what to do after that-I didn't want to stay at the Fells, because I didn't want to get anyone sick if I go bad again, I couldn't do this to another family, plus they had their own problems-they didn't need me there.

And then help came from the most unexpected person-Elena Gilbert.

Things between us were really complicated. While I was in Atlanta, we didn't disconnect-on the contrary, I used my brother's old computer and chatted with her late after midnight-Bonnie used to come in five in the morning and scold me for not sleeping. We couldn't be together in any romantic way of the word-we decided not to. More like I told her that it's better off like this-she had a boyfriend and I didn't want he to become a cheater, because of me, then again we were away at that point of our lives and third, I was a sick coughing mess and I didn't want her to suffer from the consequences of us being together like a couple.

So we became friends instead. We would talk for so many things, things that I haven't even shared with Simon. It was different with her-I never thought I'll have a girl as a friend, but with her everything was easier. We still lived in different words-I mean she was a popular girl and all her friends were like this as well-once I got back to Mystic Falls we didn't go out much, because she was always busy and she would always have something to do or a party to organize, but when we could, we would go down by the river where I once kissed her and we would talk for hours.

It wasn't like with Simon-Simon would always be here for me-he's my buddy, he would never neglect me cause there's a party he has to go, moreover, no matter what, I realized that I still do have feelings for her, no matter how I was trying to suppress them. I don't think she was thinking about me that way anymore though-she was happy with the love life that she had with Matt, or at least most of the times.

Anyway, they had this old flat above a diner a few blocks from both our school and the Fell's house and she lend it to me. More like she gave me the keys and said I can go live there-their father never checked the place up and her mother didn't even know where the keys were-she hated going to this part of town, Elena said. I wanted to pay her a rent or just figure some other way to pay her back, but she refused, no matter how hard I tried. Sometimes when their father called me to fix something in their house I did it for free and that was it-nobody knew that I was using this old loft, nobody ever asked me where I lived now if not with my aunt. I think they all thought I was with the Fells.

And so time passed by like this until we came down here to Texas for the summer.

Simon needed a break from Mystic Falls, he had just went through a very rough year and he managed to convince Fletcher that he doesn't want to go to that summer school for disabled kids again-said he's feeling worse there, so Fletcher didn't send him. Instead, they shipped us off here and I was kind of glad, we were having a good time.

I had to help around the farm, take care of the horses, go for food downtown, help with the cattle-it was nice, though tiring at times. Simon's uncle was a widower with two older than us sons, who have grown older and went away to study at college, so he was all alone, well except for the maid he had hired-Susan, who was a fifty-year-old pain in the ass-she was a yelling mess who insisted on stuffing me and Simon up until we could no longer talk from having so much food in our stomach. She was annoyingly checking up on us every morning after she has abruptly woken us up with a loud yell from the kitchen, making sure that we were all fine. We hated and loved her at the same time.

"Stefan!" Simon finally yelled and when I turned around he was trying to bring not one, but two bags of the grain and was failing at it, so I jumped from the fence and went to help him.

He has sweated and his blind eyes were staring somewhere behind me, probably realizing that there's where the sun must be. He was doing really good around here, I was extremely proud of him. Of course, he had his very bad mornings, times when he didn't want to do anything or when he just couldn't-we called it his few bad days.

I had to take care of him then-help him dress up, cause he usually put his shirt on the wrong side or he couldn't get his jeans on, let alone the shoes or anything else, so I was there for him. In times like this, I left him here near the fence and he would stay all day there, just listening to me doing stuff and telling him stories, other times he would spent the afternoon with Susan, but he usually couldn't take it and came back outside to find me.

In the evenings we were free to do whatever on earth we wanted-his uncle wasn't really that stern with us, though he always wanted us to be back by midnight. We would go downtown and have fun in the bar there where people danced and well..just did what all teenagers do. We got close to some of the other boys from the nearest farms-actually, I did and I managed to drag Simon into the gang and much to my surprise they accepted him with opened arms-things here weren't like in Mystic Falls. We've been fooling around with girls for this past month-I don't think our love lives were ever at a better point, but I was still careful and responsible, which turned out to be an easy task, because I was never emotionally involved with any of those girls-my heart belonged to someone else.

"What's up?" I asked as I saw how worried he seemed and that got me confused

"You should go back to the house" he announced as he took a deep breath "Some friend of Damon's is looking for you, said it's urgent."

"What?" my breath got stuck in my mouth "Is he okay?"

"I don't know, but you have to go." he said seriously and I patted him on the shoulder before rushing to the house. I haven't ran in months since I couldn't take my breath after it, but now I was sprinting without thinking of the consequences.

"Finally!" Susan scolded me from the front porch where she was taking out the trash for us to deal with later "Come on the boy's been waiting for you for fifteen minutes! Do you know how money that is?" she continued explaining something, but I just slammed the door after her and ran to the kitchen

"Not with the shoes inside Stefan!" she yelled "STEFAN!" but I didn't care about the shoes, I cared only about Damon.

Suddenly I've started regretting every choice that I made in the past few months-leaving him behind when he needed me, not looking out for him, not calling at all. I wasn't even paying attention to his games-we didn't watch much TV around here.

"Hello!" I almost yelled in the receiver and then a cough interrupted me, so I had to move it away in order not to scare the person on the other line

"Is this Stefan?" a young man's voice echoed from the other side and I thought how it sounds strangely familiar

"Yeah, who is this?" I asked confused. God, if it was someone from a hospital or something reminding me that I have to go for an examination I would kill them. But then again they said it's about Damon. And this wasn't my brother

"I'm Tyler Lockwood, one of your brother's teammates" oh yeah I remember him! He's one of the best players in the team "We met last September, remember?"

"Yes, hey Tyler, what's up?" I asked confused as to how he even got this number and why he was calling and not my brother. I felt worse by the minute, suddenly way too weak-I was all fine this morning and now I was afraid of what this guy had to tell me. If he had to find me all the way down here, then something wasn't right with my brother "Is Damon okay?"

"No, actually he's not" he sighed on the other line and took a minute to figure out how to continue "That's why I'm calling. You're a very hard person to find, you know?"

"What's going on with him?" I ignored his last comment as I was too eager to finally figure what the hell was going on here.

"Calm down, I'll tell you everything, I promise" he explained and I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs with the phone in my trembling hands, trying to take a deep breathe, afraid that I'll start coughing again while he's explaining

"Three weeks ago we were down to New Orleans for a friendly game with a team there, though we were actually looking for new players to join us. On our way back we got into an accident and the bus practically went off the road with us all in it-the team and the coaches, including your brother."

"What?" I asked confused, I've never heard of anything more ridiculous, if Damon's been in an accident I would know! He would call, tell me or if not him then the hospital would look out for a relative. It's like this, isn't it? And why hasn't Bonnie called me? She would've called me if something was wrong with Damon? "What do you mean by that? I haven't heard from anyone?"

"Well, the coach tried to keep the whole thing down from the media, because he knew it would hurt the reputation of the team, plus not all of us were injured that bad."

"Is Damon fine?" I was begging again for him to be all fine. Please, just be fine.

"Not really." he responded a bit abruptly, though pity was evident in his voice "He was pretty bad actually" I hear him swallow as I shut my eyes and try to get myself together

"What do you mean? How bad?" I try to sound as calm as I can now, since I realize that something has gone terribly wrong in Damon's life and here I was miles away from him, not even slightly aware of it. He went through an accident for godssakes and where was I?

Where the hell was I?

"They got him into surgery, cause he had internal bleeding, but they fixed that really fast." he tried to calm me down as I ran my hand through my hair nervously "That's not the real problem actually-his arm was crashed, Stefan. All the way from his shoulder to his fingers-everything-broken and shattered into pieces."

"Oh, God." I'm starting to panic when I remember that this isn't what Damon would do. He never gets scared when he finds out I am sick or that something's wrong-he just gets things done-if I need a doctor he takes me to one, if I need his moral support, he gives it to me.

"They made a surgery and he'll need one more for sure, but now he's back home and he's a complete mess. He won't be able to play anymore-not with this injury and not with the shoulder being the same one he has twisted before when he was back in high school." Yes I remembered that one-it was one of the times when Damon was so broken that I barely recognized him. He scared me back then-I thought things will never get better.

So he's pretty much screwed. Everything-his entire career is over. Just like this-all this time he worked so hard-it was gone now.

"He's a mess, Stefan. I went by his house yesterday and he was drunk" oh god, he was still drinking. No, no, no this wasn't true right now. After that unfortunate incident with Bonnie, he had a few bad drunk nights and I took care of him while she was crying in bed, asking herself why's he choosing to grieve in this way, but I thought he has stopped. He promised he'll stop "He practically threw me out."

"Where's Bonnie?" I asked after a minute, in which I was trying to find some reasonable explanation as to why he hasn't mentioned her up until now "Didn't she help him when he was in the hospital?"

"Don't you know?" he asked in surprise and I felt the guilt eat me up from the inside yet again. He thought I've called my brother, taken interest as to how he's doing even after we have had a fight. "They broke up about two months ago. I have no idea if she even knows about him being in an accident, we weren't transported to her hospital, plus I'm not sure she was even in Atlanta at that time."

I don't know why, but them breaking up doesn't surprise me-I guess deep down, after everything that happened while I was still there, after everything got so wrong, that it was hard to fix it, I still had hope that they'll fix things, which is why I was rejecting any other possibility, but my brother, oh God, he was such a mess then.

"I called you because I thought you can go and take care of him" he announced after I took too long to respond yet again, since I was lost in my own thoughts "I know that you're working, but he really needs you. He's practically all by himself, he's in pain-the medications aren't really helping him and he refuses to go to the doctor again-I tried to talk him into it yesterday but I failed. Everything's a mess in the flat and I'm worried that he'll do something stupid, even when he's so helpless and lying on this damn couch all day long."

"I'll need at least a day to get to you" I announced. I didn't have money for a plane ticket. Actually, I did, but I thought that it's better to keep everything that I've been saving since I had no idea what Damon's financial state was right now and I was aware that he will need a doctor, and most probably another surgery, not that these money would be enough for that but it would help me a lot over there. "I'll have to catch a train. Can you keep an eye on him until I come, please?"

"Of course, that's not a problem." he promised and I sighed relieved, which however made me cough as well and I had to remove the receiver from my ear again so I wouldn't scare Tyler off completely.

"Good, I'll be leaving tonight" I explained while I was trying to calm myself down "Thank you for letting me know, it means a lot."

We exchanged a few other polite lines and I hung up.

The minute I did, I buried my hands in my hair and then hid my face in my big rough from the working palms. Jesus Christ, what the hell has happened over there? Why does always things have to go wrong in our lives? Why? Everything was fine with Damon-he had a good career, he was earning a really decent amount of money, he has even proposed to her! Why on earth did everything go so terribly wrong?

I think, I brought nothing but misery to everyone in my life. Maybe I was their bad luck, the flip that switched and turned everything from amazing to awful in just what? Five or six months? How does this happen exactly?

I don't know how much time I spent there, but at some point I felt as if I need a big slap on the face-I jumped abruptly and went upstairs to grab my things. I started shoving whatever I could see in the big backpack I've come here with.

"Stefan?" Simon's worried voice interrupted me and I stopped, standing in our mess of a room, with the bag in one hand and a plaid shirt in the other. I knew he couldn't see me but I felt like he was staring right at me, realizing that something's not right "What's going on? Are you packing?" he was trusting his hearing as usually.

"I have to go to Atlanta" I said trying to sound as calm as I can

"What? Why?" he asked confused "What's wrong?" no matter how hard I tried, Simon always knew. He could sense it in my voice-when I was messed up he always knew, but the things is, now I couldn't allow myself to be messed up. I had to be strong, for Damon and go fix everything for him. I had to help him, he was all alone over there, probably unable to do anything on his own with this messed up hand of his, God knows how much his body hurts from the accident, I didn't even ask Tyler what other injuries he had, but he it didn't really matter-he was completely alone, without Bonnie by his side there was no one to help him and that was driving me insane.

"Damon needs me." I announce "He's been in an accident, I have to get to him."

"Is he okay?" Simon asks, concern evident in his voice, he loves Damon, just the way I love Fletcher-it's like we're one big family, it was always the four of us, so he's genuine worry scares me and I don't need this right now. I know that I just have to make it over there, that's all that matters, nothing else.

"No, he's quite bad. I have to take care of him" I realize that it's the first time I hear myself say those words.

It's usually the other way around-Damon takes care of me, he's always there, he's the one to get me to the doctors, or help me go to the bathroom when I don't have enough strength in myself to do it, he's helping me eat, he changes my shirt in the middle of the night when I've sweated way too much, he raises me up when I can't stop coughing and talks to me until I fall asleep again.

He's my hero. He always has been. And I've betrayed him now, I've left him all alone and it was making me feel sick.

There was no one to do all those things for him-I wondered how he even ate if his hand was all shattered like this, how he changed his clothes and that's just the basic things, what about his dreams-he's shattered in another sense as well-he doesn't have football anymore and that was his entire life, that was his ticket out of Mystic Falls, that was his hope that there's something good in life after all, that things will be okay.

"Do you have money?" Simon asks, he doesn't question my decisions anymore, he knows that I'll go to Atlanta no matter what and there's nothing he can do to stop me, on the contrary, he will only help me.

"Yes, I do, don't worry." I try assure him but he's not listening to me at all, instead he goes to his cupboard and gets out an envelope out of there. I'm wondering what he's doing until he comes back to me and finds my hand-I don't know how, even when he's blind, he still knows where to find me.

He'll always find me, just like Damon-they are the two people in this world that will never leave me no matter what.

"Take it" he asks as he shoves the envelope in my hands and make me squeeze it and hold on to with all my life-as if it can magically solve all my problems, as if it will heal Damon out of nowhere and help him play football again.

"No, Simon" I protest as I realize that those are all his savings as well, everything that we've earned since we came here and even before that-I knew that he's been saving up for things to buy at their house and for clothes for little Summer. I couldn't take it.-I won't take them-I try to sound stern but he doesn't buy it at all

"Oh, shut up and just go!"he pulled the envelope back in my hands, I could feel the money in it and I knew taking it would really help me but my heart broke-he was blind and he's been working around the farm, doing his best to get all this and now..he was giving it to me just like that, no question asked, nothing. "Your brother needs you."

"Thank you" he squeezed my shoulder gently and I smiled, trying to get myself together as fast as I could.

"I'll explain everything to uncle, okay?" he reassures me "Take as much time as you want there, okay?" I knew he was trying to calm me down, but I've come here to work after all, his uncle relied on my help and now I was going away. That didn't matter now, I had to help Damon, I'll think of apologizing to this man and thank for all his hospitality later-I'll be here.

I thanked him once more and continued throwing things in my bag. Then, I called the station the check when the next train for Atlanta was and it turned out that I have an hour to get there. Susan filled my bag with food-sandwiches mainly and her famous apple pie as well as bananas, water and well, basically there was more food in there than clothes.

When I got there, I still had about fifteen minutes before we left, so I picked up my cell-I rarely turned it on here on the farm, I didn't use it more than once a week, I just didn't need to, but now I had to-I wanted to hear her voice.

I couldn't admit to myself that I was scared, for the first time in a very long time, which is really strange since I get sick every now and then and one would think that death scares me, as I've found myself close to it a few times already, but now it doesn't anymore-now this is something bigger, more important-it was my brother. And the only thing stronger than my guilt at this moment, was my fear for him.

I dialed her number and waited for a long time until I heard her voice mail.

This is Elena, I'm probably in the library or catching up on my sleep right now, so don't hesitate to leave a message

"Hey, Elena" my words sound barely audible, I don't know how to breathe properly right now, let alone talk, but I know I'll have to get myself together on my way there, I have no other choice

"I know it's still not Wednesday" I always called her on Wednesday, no exception, always and she knew that if I didn't call or looked up for her earlier, then something's wrong "But I just needed to hear you right now. Don't worry, I'm fine, nothing's wrong with me" I hurry to reassure her and I let a deep sigh out as I try to comprehend my next sentence

"I'm about to head for Atlanta, actually. Damon's not doing fine and I'm going to see him. I guess..I just wanted you to know that. I don't know when I'll call again-I have to take care of him." I stop, realizing that I probably don't have much time left and soon I'll hear the familiar beep telling me the conversation's cut short, but not yet, it's like time's prolonging this moment only for me "God, I shouldn't have left him there. I should've stayed." I sigh again as I run my hand through my hair "Anyway, I have to get on the train now. I promise, I'm fine and I'll call when I can."

I hung up and approached the train, just when too many people were finally trying to get on it. I felt lost in all this see of hopelessness. I was all alone-I was leaving Simon behind, Elena was far away and my brother…my brother was broken and I just hoped I'm not too late to help him.

I was all alone.

Again.

It was time to get to my brother.

A/N: First of all sorry for the long delay, I had a really rough month, but I'm finally done with exams. Also-I'm going to be honest here-I planned to write one more chapter from the previous time jump and just show them all happy, but it didn't turn out very good, I guess I've forgotten what it's like to write happy things. Anyway, the previous part turned out to be longer than I initially expected, so I just decided it's time to jump. I know things are a bit unclear when it comes do Damon and Bonnie and what went wrong, also as to why Stefan left, what pushed him to do it, but it will be explained. This is the longest fanfiction I've ever written and I honestly have no idea how more chapters I'll write-I guess as long as my inspiration goes and as long as you guys enjoy it and don't hate it completely.