Chapter 26: Confessions
"I don't want something closer to home. I want you."
-Commander Shepard (Mass Effect 2)
Kris let out a frustrated sigh. He had spent the past several minutes mentally rehearsing his conversation with Ralsei, and he had no luck finding a way to confess his feelings without making himself seem ridiculous.
He didn't even know how to begin. It couldn't have been as simple as walking up to him and saying 'I love you', could it? No, he needed to think of something else. But what? What could he say to effectively get his point across?
He cursed himself. Why did love have to be such a complicated issue?
He looked over at Ralsei, smiling wistfully. It amazed him how much he had come to care for him in such a short time. Then again, could anyone blame him? Ralsei was simply perfect. He was kind, and caring, and unfairly cute. Kris wanted to make sure he knew just how much he meant to him.
'I'll never figure this out on my own,' he thought. 'I need some advice.'
He looked away from Ralsei, turning his gaze toward Susie. She was sitting alone, polishing her weapon. Every so often, she would pause to glower at the blade, then resume with a little more aggression.
'Well, it's worth a shot.'
He walked over to Susie and sat beside her.
"Hey, Kris," she greeted, setting her weapon aside with an irritated groan.
"You having trouble?" he asked.
"Yeah, there's, like, 30 year old stains on this thing. I don't think they're coming off..."
"That sucks." He watched for a second as she vainly attempted to clean off the old blood stains on her weapon. Eventually, she gave up and set it down, leaning back in her chair.
"Weren't you gonna go talk to Ralsei?" she suddenly asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, you know..." he broke eye contact, "just thinking of what to say."
"You just gotta make sure he knows he did the right thing by killing the mind. Easier said than done, I know, but you've got a way with words."
"I guess. It's just..." he trailed off, glancing over at Ralsei.
"Is something bugging you?"
Kris hesitated a bit before answering, "Yeah, kinda."
"What's going on?" She held back a grin as she noticed him staring at Ralsei. "I think I might have an idea."
He turned back to her. "What do you mean?"
She chuckled, "Come on, I see the way you're looking at him. Just admit you have a thing for him."
Kris looked away again, contemplating his answer. As much as he dreaded the idea of an endless tirade of 'I knew it' from Susie, he needed advice, and she'd probably be willing to help after a modest amount of gloating.
Finally, he spoke, "Alright, you got me. I think I'm in love with Ralsei."
"What a surprise," she deadpanned.
"Spare me the gloating for now. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't know how to do it."
She seemed surprised. "You need romance advice and you came to me? Kris, you know who I am, right?"
"Come on, you gotta have something. Seriously, I'll take any advice you can offer."
"Well, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not good at romance. Really, I think you just gotta go up and tell him."
"I know, but... I don't want to come across as ridiculous."
"What, like he's gonna laugh at you?" she chuckled. "You know he's not that kind of guy."
"It's not just that," he leaned forward. "I really like him, Susie. I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I have no idea how to get the point across without rambling on for hours on end."
"You just gotta let the words flow, brother. Trust me, he'll listen to you."
"I don't want to walk up and hit him with a stream of consciousness, 'this is why I love you' spiel. I want something a little more... you know, eloquent."
"Again, I'm not good at that kind of thing. You're the one with the speech skills."
Kris shook his head. "What am I supposed to say? That he's the nicest person I've ever met, or that he's pretty much the only reason I'm still here, or that he's so damn cute I just want to hug him and never let go?"
"Actually, that's pretty good. Just say all that again, but that way," she pointed in Ralsei's direction.
"What are you two talking about?" Noelle suddenly appeared, sitting beside Susie.
"Kris needs help confessing his undying love to Ralsei."
"Really?" Noelle couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah," Kris confirmed. "Please give me advice, cause Susie isn't exactly a romantic."
"I think you just need to be honest with your feelings. Sorry, but that's all I've got."
"So the best advice you guys have is 'just do it'." He shook his head.
"I hate to say it, but that's pretty much all there is to it," Susie said.
Noelle nodded in agreement. "You just have to make sure he knows how much you care about him..." Her eyes drifted to Susie. "...how much he's helped you improve yourself, how much you admire him..." She hid her face as she blushed intensely.
Kris pretended not to notice. "Ah, screw it. I'm going for it. If things don't work out, Chara'll probably do something to distract us anyway."
"That's the spirit," Susie grinned.
He stood up. "Well, wish me luck. I'll let you know how things go." He turned to walk away.
Noelle watched as he walked off. She was just a little jealous of his confidence. The mere thought of being rejected by Susie stung a bit. But, with the threat of Chara looming overhead, she was almost more afraid of never being able to confess her feelings.
She breathed deeply. 'If he can do it, so can I.'
"Susie, there's... something I need to tell you."
"Hold on, Noelle," Susie leaned forward, watching Kris intently. "I wanna see how this turns out."
"O-okay..." She watched as well.
Kris suddenly found it difficult to keep his nerves in check. He took a deep breath to slow his racing heart.
'Come on, stay calm,' he commanded himself. 'What could possibly go wrong?
'...He said, before everything went wrong...'
Finally, he approached. "Hey, Ralsei, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Oh, sure," Ralsei replied. "About what?"
"I'd kinda prefer if I could talk to you alone," Kris glanced at Sariel briefly.
"Very well," Sariel nodded and walked away.
"What's this about, Kris?" Ralsei asked.
"Um, well..." He tried to find a way to begin. "For starters, Susie told me that killing the mind messed with you a little. I wanted to see if you're doing okay."
Ralsei's demeanor became a little less cheerful. "Yeah, I think so. Everyone else talked to me, and they definitely helped."
"She said you're afraid of becoming a murderer. What's that all about?"
"It's just... I kind of enjoyed the fight, and it scared me. They think it's because I was protecting you, and... I'm just hoping they're right."
"I'm sure they are. I can't see you killing people just for the hell of it. I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Really?"
"Yeah. The enjoyment thing might just be an adrenaline high anyway. Plus, you know we'd never let you go down that road. We'll keep you sane." He placed a hand on Ralsei's shoulder.
Ralsei nodded, smiling ever so slightly. "Thanks, Kris."
"No problem." He pulled Ralsei into a quick embrace. It only lasted a few seconds, but Kris savored it.
'Tell him how you feel,' he ordered himself. 'What do you have to lose?'
He pulled back, looking into Ralsei's eyes. "Ralsei, I have to tell you something... It's pretty important."
"What is it?"
Kris' heart fluttered. "It's, uh... it's about you and me. I... might end up rambling a little."
Ralsei's eyes widened a bit. 'Is he...?'
"You and I have been spending a lot of time together. We've been through a lot, helped each other through a lot, kept each other from falling apart... I like to think we've gotten really close."
"O-of course," Ralsei stuttered. "I feel the same way."
"Good," Kris nervously rubbed his hands together. "I'm... glad I met you. I've been so much happier since I met you. I can't even remember the last time I felt this way."
"I'm not your only friend, Kris," Ralsei reminded.
"Don't get me wrong, Susie and Noelle and amazing friends too. But..." Kris began to blush slightly. "...you're pretty special to me."
Ralsei's pulse quickened. "I-in what way?"
"I don't even know where to begin." He took Ralsei's hands in his. "It's just wonderful to have you around. You're nice, and sweet, and caring, and beautiful, and..." He sighed and shook his head. "I could go on for hours. Really, I... I love to have you with me."
He took a breath. "I love you, Ralsei."
Ralsei blinked in surprise, unsure how to respond. "W-what?"
"I love you. I've never cared about someone the way I care about you. You're a wonderful person, Ralsei, and I want to be with you."
"Why...?"
"What do you mean?"
Ralsei pulled his hands free. "Kris, you're an incredible person. Why would you settle for me when you can do so much better?"
Kris shook his head. "Come on, who could be better than you?"
"Kris, I'm not like you," Ralsei looked away. "I'm not a human, I'm not a lightner, I'm not even a normal darkner. Don't you want someone more relatable?"
Kris took his hand again. "No, I don't. Ralsei, I don't care about any of that. I really do love you, and that's not going to change, so please stop trying to talk me out of it."
Ralsei felt overwhelmed. Despite his feelings of inadequacy, every part of him wanted to tell Kris just how much he loved him. Perhaps he deserved Kris' affection after enduring so much hardship and misery. Everyone else seemed to think so.
"I-I love you too..." his voice trembled as he spoke.
He suddenly threw his arms around Kris, burying his face in his chest. Kris smiled and returned the embrace. The two held each other close for a brief, blissful moment. Nothing else in the world mattered; this was their moment.
Kris pulled back slightly. "I hate to see you speak so lowly about yourself, Ralsei. You're a wonderful person, no matter what you think. I just want you to be happy..."
He was cut off when Ralsei suddenly kissed him. It was a passionate kiss, but it lasted only a few seconds before he pulled away, blushing furiously.
"Oh my God, I'm- I'm sorry, Kris," he stammered, "I don't know what came over me-"
"Do it again," Kris said breathlessly.
"What?"
"Kiss me again."
"Are- are you sure...?"
"Yeah."
Slowly, Ralsei leaned in and kissed him again. This time, Kris kissed back, and the two shared another moment of utter bliss.
"Oh, let's freaking go!" Susie barely suppressed the urge to cheer out loud.
"I'm so happy for them," Noelle smiled.
"Me too. Honestly, I've been rooting for them for a while."
They watched Kris and Ralsei for a second, before glancing fondly at each other. No words were spoken, and they soon turned away. Then, they peered back.
"Hey, Noelle..."
"H-hey, Susie..." they spoke simultaneously.
"You first," Susie said.
"Oh, okay. Um..." Noelle broke eye contact, shifting nervously. "Well, you know we've... w-we've been friends for a while, and..." She clasped her hands together. "Sorry, I'm a little nervous..."
"That's fine, take your time," Susie smiled slightly.
Noelle nodded. "I meant to tell you this earlier, but things happened..." she chuckled anxiously. "I... I want to tell you now. I've kinda... I've had some feelings toward you for a while, even before all this..."
"I can tell where this is going, so I'm gonna stop you right here." Susie rested her hand on Noelle's. "I love you too."
Noelle felt her heart skip a beat. "Really?''
"Yeah. It's kinda weird, too..." She looked away. "You gotta know, I'm usually kind of a hardass. I don't normally feel this way about... well, anyone."
"What makes me the special one?"
Susie shrugged. "I don't know what to say, I'm really bad at this. I just... like you. You're cute, you're sweet, and you're not afraid that I'll bite your face off. I like that in a woman."
"I don't know what I'd have to be afraid of," Noelle smiled. "You've done nothing but make me feel welcomed this whole time."
"Well, I'm starting to like this whole 'not being a jerk' thing." She pulled Noelle closer, pressing her forehead against hers. "And, you know, you."
Noelle melted into Susie's embrace, overcome with happiness. No more words were exchanged; none were needed. This was more than enough.
Among the Fun Gang, there was no more fear, no more worrying about leaving things unsaid. Whatever may come, they would face it together. Whatever may happen, they would be content.