Clare

"Why didn't we wait until June first?"

"Because you wanted to tie to knot."

"Oh...Yeah."

"I let the reservation go on the gardens."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"Am I disgusting to you? Be honest."

"No. You had twins."

"Four months ago."

"Clare it's been four months not four years. Even if you never got back to your former size I wouldn't care. As long as I don't have to roll you around in a wheel barrel."

We both started laughing at the thought of that. This was the first laugh I have had in a while. I laughed so hard that my stomach began to cramp up and tears began to roll out of my eyes. When the laughing stopped I caught my breath.

"Clare why didn't you let me hire the nanny?"

"I don't know. I wanted to prove I could do it but I couldn't and I wanted your help…not anyone else's."

"Look. I'm done with recording so I'll be home a little more until the summer."

"Oh."

"Clare you have to talk to me. Tell me what is going on with you. Some nights I come home and your pillows are soaked with tears. Is it because of me or the babies or what?"

"It's everything. Sometimes I think about packing my bags and leaving them in the apartment… I'm a bad mom Eli!"

"No you aren't. You are a good mom. I'm a bad dad… Well I'm not much of a dad at all. I'm more of a sperm donor. I promise I will try to help more."

"Okay."

We lay in the small bunk of the tour bus and we talked. This is something we haven't done in a while. Lately we have been communicating through hand gestures and grunts. A little pre-historic, I know but that's what it's been. I miss talking to him. I hope it isn't only on this tour that we connect this way. Even though I've nagged him a lot lately I do miss him. I miss us being on the same team and not being two warring continents. It's like I've lost my best friend these past few months.

Eli

We arrived at the hotel. I grabbed our carry in bags and then we checked in. I left my crew to do their own thing. Once we got inside the hotel room Clare fell back on the bed and so did I. Lucky for me I didn't have a show tonight. She turned around on the bed and to put her back to me like she always does. I grabbed her waist and that's when I heard soft snores coming from her. She must be tired.

I went down to the hotel's bar to have a drink. I asked the bartender for a glass of bourbon. He handed it to me and then I got a phone call. Who else would it be but Adam?"

"Sup Adam?"

"Nothing dude. So how is the rekindling going?"

"Well she's asleep and I'm at the bar but we done some talking."

"And?"

"And I think things will start to get better for us."

"I'm glad to hear that. So your kids are totally adorable."

"You have them?"

"Yeah I picked them up from your mom's so that they can have a slumber party with Heather."

"Well how is it going?"

"Heather is fascinated by them. She's patting their faces like they are llamas in a petting zoo or something."

"Ha, that sounds like Heather. How are my two little bundles of joy?"

They are just fine. They are both cutting teeth on the bottom though."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah I know… Want to talk to Jr? He just rolled over here."

"Sure."

"ABBBBBBAAAAPPPPHHHHH!"

"Yeah I totally understand what you mean. Daddy loves you too. Goodbye. Adam?"

"Dude he's so happy."

"I've never heard him so happy."

"Well it may have been the rum that your mom rubbed on his gums before Fi and I got them."

"Oh, he's drunk."

"Well dude, I have to go. Heather is trying to eat Fiona's new Prada shoes. Get rekindling!"

"Alright dude. Bye."

I hung up with Adam and I downed my bourbon then I got a refill…. More than four times. There was no sipping for me tonight, no sir! I chugged it and when I got up from the barstool I knew that I'd chugged it. I stumbled to the elevator and I went back to our floor. I struggled to get the card key into the little slot. Luckily Clare opened the door. She had on a silk robe. It looked like only underwear was underneath. The room was steamy and it smelled like her vanilla body wash. She looked at me with a frown but before she could form the words to say I kissed her and though I almost fell, I kicked the door shut. I pinned her to the wall, stabilizing myself that way. She was breathing heavy. Her swollen, milk filled breasts peaked out from the robe. I want her so bad I can't stand it.

"Eli, are you drunk?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god."

"Shhh…. Just shut up and let's do it!"

"Why come you get to be drunk and I can't?"

"Because while I was boozing…you were snoozing. You are so sexy right now."

Clare

He kissed my neck while releasing what sounded like tiny guttural growls. I held onto his belt loop in an attempt to keep him from tumbling to the ground. He's drunk and I'm a little jealous. We stumbled over the bed. He undone my silk robe and then he snatched it off my body. I was a little nervous for him to see my body but he smiled and I felt more at ease. I pulled him down on the bed and I attacked his neck. Not only did I plant some aggressive kisses on it but I also bit him a few times. He sucked air in through his teeth as my incisors made contact with his throat.

The foreplay was nice. The touching, the kissing and the nibbling got me all wired up for the moment. So wired up that I wanted to control it. I pushed Eli off of me and I mounted him. Sliding my anxious, waiting love onto his swollen manhood. We both let out low sighs. Our bodies fell into a rhythm. Eli squeezed my hips tightly and then he smacked me on the ass before he rose up and took control. He put one of my legs above my head while he held the other over his arm. I felt him deep. I called his name and he gave me a drunken, cocky smile. The only thing to be heard in the room before long was the sound of our skin slapping on contact and our sounds of ecstasy. Eli's pounding had scooted me up so my head was now hitting the headboard. We both laughed and he pulled me back down my legs. He leaned down; our bodies felt like we were melting into each other…. I gasped as the orgasm hit. It felt like there were a million butterflies that landed on me who were all fluttering at once or… like I was buzzing. My insides clenched around Eli's climaxing girth. We held onto each other like there was no tomorrow. I started to feel like that teenage girl, in that broke down apartment on that fucked up mattress… making love to the most amazing guy in the world.

After a few minutes of lying there together he made a mad dash to the bathroom. That is what he gets for drinking. He's going to be really hung over tomorrow and he has a show. At least I can torture him by talking loudly and turning on bright lights… He came back to bed after blowing chunks and brushing his teeth. I wrapped my arm and leg around him. He laughed and caressed my thigh. He turned around to face me and before he drifted off to sleep he whispered "goodnight pretty lady." I kissed his forehead…. For a moment I let myself forget that I was behind in my work and that my babies hated me. I just let myself live in the past and be that teenager…

"Eli! You were looking at her butt! Don't try to deny it! Is that what you like? Is that what turns you on?"

"Clare no! I did look at her ass but that doesn't mean shit. Her ass could never compare to yours… Yours is so…big."

"You think I have a fat butt! I knew it!"

"Clare! Come back here please?"

"Why? So that you can call me Ms. Piggy some more?"

"No… So that I can do this."

He pulled me into a passionate kiss that took my breathe away. Sometimes I hate that he can do that…especially when I want to be mad at him. That damn kiss of death just makes it so hard to hold a grudge against him. I peered into his jungle green eyes and I saw a look of pleading in them. I folded and I let him hug me and sucker me into another kiss. What can I say? I just… love him.

We hopped into Morty and we took off like always. We talked, we really talked. We have been arguing a lot lately and I will admit that I have been starting most of the altercations. I just feel like I'm losing him already. Everyone has been saying that once we are at the same University our relationship will crumble because he's been there for a year already and he probably has friend girls that will make me jealous…blah blah blah. I probably shouldn't let those old wives get to me but I can't help it. I gave Eli my… flower. Not that it's some binding force but I would like to know I made the right decision.

"Clare, there is no reason to be insecure. I love you but ever since we had sex you've been acting strange."

"Like how?"

"You don't talk to me anymore and you pick fights. You kicked me in the shins."
"I'm sorry."

"What's the matter?"

"When we get to university, you won't drop me just because I'm younger than you, right?"

"Who told you that?"

"Old ladies."

"You actually listened?"

"Eli… I need to know. I don't know what I would do if you broke my heart. I might be forced to do something drastic."

"We talking tattoo/ nipple ring drastic or…"

"Not that drastic. I might leave you an angry voicemail though."

"Ha, or kick me in the shins again."

"Be serious Eli. I'm… vulnerable with you. I need to be sure you're still going to be the guy I can be vulnerable with."

"Clare I am. I would never think of hurting you. I love you. If I break your heart then you can kick me in the shins again."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

For these few weeks at least… I'm that girl again. That ball of pure emotion, that vulnerable, open creature. That girl.

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