Chapter 26 - My Name is Sarah

Ben was not one to show emotion, yet she had driven him to nearly breaking point, as the muscles in his face tensed with frustration. She was trying him. Testing his patience. He sat there at the small square table, in silent fury, gathering his thoughts. She swallowed, fearing she had pushed him too far. Startling her, he rose in one fluid motion and approached the door, wrapping his fingers around the handle and opened it. He motioned to her. "Let's go. "

She rose apprehensively, glancing around the room. The plain white walls and bed. A knot of fearfulness churned inside of her - What if he were marching her to the other room?

"Get out. You've got to get out … now! " Alex's voice pleaded in her head.

This is the flash of memory that had haunted her, so long ago. Now she understood

In her lonely, white room of solitude, she had slipped under the sheets, closed her eyes and drifted off, only to be jolted awake by a coarse hand over her mouth, and a sharp needle prick in the leg … Then the blackness.

She was cringing in the corner of the cramped, dark room, breathing the stench and dampness, when Alex found her.

Just a single sliver of pale light slipped through the crack under the old wooden door.

She heard a rustling noise and saw a shadow beneath the door. Lying there, gagged and tied, she pushed herself closer to the wall wishing she could just disappear there. She winced at the stream of light cutting into her eyes as the door cracked open. Heart racing, and sweat rolling down her back, she sensed nausea and prayed that she would not upchuck through the painful gag that held her tongue prisoner against the roof of her mouth.

The light faded and she recognized the voice. "Sarah? "

Alex fell down beside her, releasing her from bondage, urging her. "Come on, get up!You've got to get up! "

Sweat beads broke out on her forehead and she nervously balled up clammy palms. She did not want to go back to the other room. That small cramped room where she couldn't breath.

Ben glared at her through a stern face. "I'm not asking you again. "

Feeling utterly small and weak, she inched forward, dreading what might be waiting on the outside of that door. He placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her into the dimly - lit passageway. She did not ask him where he was taking her.

She did not speak at all.

Juliet's silhouette grew clearer upon approach. Flicking a disapproving glance at Ben, she spoke in a pleasantly strained tone. "Ben … what are you doing?"

His eyes met hers firmly as he responded, "Don't worry about it, everything is fine. "

She folded her arms, with head cocked sideways, staring into the other room where the tray sat atop a mess of broken glass and splattered food. "Is it?"

" It is. " He answered, clearly annoyed. Clearing his throat, he continued in a low voice that was both polite and threatening, while gesturing towards the mess in the other room. "Can you make sure that gets cleaned up? "

She flicked her eyes between him and Sarah as if debating tongue lashing him.

Sarah stood quietly beside Ben, trembling. She was the proverbial mouse caught between two rival cats. Though she had never been able to shake the feeling that if Ben were gone, she would be either dead, or lying on the dissection table in the lab.

Ben was manipulative and deceptive, almost sleazy - in his own way - but Juliet was cruel and ruthless. Both were dangerous. They fought like siblings engaging in a power struggle, contending for their parent's affection and favor.

The exchange of verbal boxing lasted for a mere minute or two, but it was too long for Sarah. Juliet smiled coyly. "Of course. "

"Thank you. " He responded, and then nudged Sarah forward. She allowed him to guide her through the dank passageway, all the while her heart felt as though it were painfully beating out of her chest. She heard Jacks voice in her head.

"Just breathe. Not through your mouth, but through your nose. "

Through the nose. She coaxed herself. She began to draw, shaky, but quiet deep breaths through her nostrils, the knot in her stomach climbing to her throat, feet scuffing the floor every now and then. She closed her eyes for a second when they reached the door. She wasn't going crumble before him. She wasn't going to let him have that.

He wedged himself between she and the door, then turned shortly to fix a long unreadable gaze at her. She looked at the floor, unable to raise her eyes to his burning stare. He slid the key into the keyhole and turned it until there was a loud click. Her heart thumped.

She would not show her fear, she would not scream and yell, or fight back. She was determined.

He turned the knob and pushed the door open, waiting for her to enter.

She took a step forward, but her legs stiffened, she could not move. Lips trembling, her determination drained out of her in one fast drop. She cried fretfully, stammering in short breaths. "I …I …I … I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please. "

She felt so small that he could step on her and squash her like a bug. "I don't want to go back …. "

She hated herself for letting him win again.

He raised his chin and took a breath, but said nothing. Instead, he gestured for her to enter. She swallowed hard, choking back the knot welling in her throat, grudgingly anticipating the stench to hit her lungs in a painful stab.

She stepped through the door.

She detected motion viewed from the corner of her eye accompanied by a rustling sound. Startled, she whipped around to catch a glimpse of a figure several feet away from her. She sucked in air once she was able to focus. She knew the short-cropped hair and scruffy face. He stood tall with bare arms to his sides, staring at her. Her face crinkled with emotion.

"Jack! " She bolted from the floor and leapt towards him, only to be thrown back by some invisible force. Her body repelled off the glass partition like a rag doll and she sat on the floor, with the sound of her body hitting the glass reverberating in her head, waiting for the room to stop spinning.

Ben was at her side, kneeling down. "Laren? Are you hurt? "

His voice was rather distant as she raised her eyes to Jack's, who gaped at her from behind the glass. She wiped a red streak from her nose, slowly pushing herself on shaky legs. Ben grabbed an elbow, but she retracted it deliberately, casting a wide -eyed gaze at Jack. She heard the voice echoing in her head.

Jack is here. Find him. (Pretty accurate for a hallucination.)

She approached him carefully this time, recognizing the partition as a divider between the room and a large fish tank. Probably some sort of examining room for large fish - like dolphins and the like. Jack was being held in the empty tank, a metal slab bolted behind him in the middle of the floor.

There was a brief moment of silence between them as the ceiling groaned under the weight of the ocean water.

"Jack. " She whispered with shiny eyes. "Jack are you alright? "

She spread her palms out against the glass, but Jack stood still and silent, staring at her. After a few painfully unresponsive moments, he responded in a disturbingly angry tone ... "Do I know you? Am I supposed to know you? Who the hell are you?! "

She closed her eyes and swallowed, answering meekly. "I … Jack … it's me. Jack, don't you know me? "

He stepped up to the glass, nostrils flaring and the muscles in his neck tensing.

"No … I don't! "

One, large, tear tumbled out of her eye and rolled down her cheek, as she choked out, " What did they say to make you do this ? What did they tell you? Jack, you know me … You know me! "

Giving a snort, he pulled away from the glass, running his hand over his head, pacing the floor. She watched him sadly. How did they get to him? How did they break him? She closed her eyes again and shook her head. It was more than she could stand. Why? What was the point of games?

Sadness abruptly morphed into anger, which flooded her entire body faster than light as she flipped around to Ben. "What did you do?! What did you do to him?! Where are the others?! Do you have them locked up too?! Where are they?! "

He took a step towards her, opening his mouth to speak, when some residual flash of a reflexive response sent her hand clawing desperately at her pocket, while backing away from him. She reached, but nothing was there.

"Are you looking for this? " Ben asked smugly.

He raised a small black object - one that she recognized immediately - and waved it in the air. The taser she lifted from Jude. Her mind exploded. She flung herself backwards and met the wall, and glared. " Now I know you've been lying because I took that off of Jude when he tried to drag me back here from the beach. "

He shook his head in frustration and yanked a handkerchief from his pocket.

"You're nose is bleeding. "

She did not move. He flippantly tossed the handkerchief on the floor in front of her, and spat out another bombshell. "Laren, Jude died in the crash. No one dragged you from the beach. You stole this and it was retrieved at the hospital in Australia, unfortunately after you stunned Richard with it. "

"Don't you remember? "

Wide eyed, she watched him with anticipation. She heard him, every word … Yet a thought crawled through her head, one she did not particularly care for. He had wasted so much time and energy trying to convince her he didn't know who Jack was. To make her think she had imagined or dreamt it. Taking her to Jack would not help him discredit her. If anything, it supported her. No, something else was going on. She didn't even know what it could be and it already frightened her. Ben never did anything without a reason …without an ulterior motive.

She stared suspiciously and demanded. "Why did you bring me here? Why? "

He fiddled with the taser, rolling it around in his hands in an ominous gesture.

"You've always been very … bright. "

His words were remarkably similar to Jude's. "You have always been very intuitive. Perceptive. "

She shivered at the skin crawlies … "You've always been very bright. "

Oh God. She knew what that meant - something bad was going to happen.

He shot a glance over to Jack, which sent a jolt of fear through her body, then responded.

"This is going to seem very cruel …but it's necessary. "

She wrenched her head towards Jack, with eyes bulging, and then jerked back around, frantically pleading with trembling lips. "No! Please no! I'll do whatever you want. Anything! "

Completely unaffected by her begging, he shut himself off and responded disturbingly unattached. "This is how it's going to be. It's your choice. "

She shook her head as her eyes tears warmed her eyes, flicking her gaze to Jack occasionally. But Jack said nothing as he stood behind the glass and watched. He didn't call out to her, or attempt to defend her. He stood and watched. Ben exposed another device from his shirt pocket. A small, square box, with a button on top. He leaned down, placing the box on the floor, and slid it across to her.

It hit her shoe with a thud.

"There's a button on that box. " He glanced over to the tank. "When you press

that button, the responsive device we planted inside Jack will send off electric shock waves throughout his body. I won't lie … it will be painful. But when I tell you to push that button … you will do it. "

She helplessly begged and pleaded with her eyes, flicking them between him and Jack. He could not order her to do this. She couldn't do it. She wouldn't.

"What the hell is going on here? " Tom barged his way through the door offensively. He was am obese man of average height, wiry, silver hair and Sarah grew nauseas in his presence.

He clenched his teeth as soon as he saw her. "What the hell? "

His exclamation was cut short when Ben reached out and touched him with the taser and he hit the floor, body riveting from the electric jolts. Ben remained unaffected, turning his attention to Sarah. "If you choose not to do what I ask, the jolt will be twice as worse as what I just hit him with.

"Now, pick up the box. "

She watched in horror as Tom's body crumbled to the cold hard floor, twitching from the jolt of electricity running through it. For a moment, she pitied Jude as she remembered that day in the forest when he too lie twitching and jerking on top of the brown leaves.

This was the workings of a crazy man … a monster. He could say he loved her and in the same breath, force her to either torture her friend or be tortured. He could not expect her to do this. He didn't think she really would … did he?

"No. " She whispered. " I can't. "

A stream of tears began their trek down her face and she murmured between sobs.

"I just can't. "

His callous expression never changed, as he demanded, like a controlled drill sergeant. "Pick up the box. "

Jack had not responded at all. He observed the drama unfolding as if watching a baseball game, only without the cheering and the "Hey batta batta."

Sarah took a long tormented gaze towards him. "I can't do it. P … Please. "

Jack's features softened into a compassionate but determined stare as he broke his silence and all but ordered her firmly. "Do it. "

She stared at him helplessly, mouth gaping open. He stepped forwards determinedly, pressed against the glass and raised his voice as he repeated forcefully. "Just do what he said … Do it! "

Streams of tears chilled her face while she shook her head. Jack stood with a hand on his waist, running the other over his head and licking his lips. "Look, Laren … it is Laren right? "

She blinked back another rush of tears as she repeated. "No … No … "

Ben taunted her. "You have thirty seconds to decide … or I'll make the decision for you. "

Jack pleaded with her. "Just does it. "

His neck extended rigidly with persistence as he shouted…. "Do it Laren! Go on! Push the button! DO IT! "

Ben. "Laren…"

She drew long deep, but staggered breaths, her body tensing, as she grabbed her head with white knuckled fists and rejected their pleading more defiantly.

"No … No! "

Ben taunted her. "Laren … "

Jack ordered. "Laren. "

A ball of fury rapidly ignited from within her and began it's defiant descent from inside, rolling it's way out of her and then exploding as her brows drew into an

exaggerated pointed scowl, eyes darkening with furious rebellion.

The single dim light above them flickered, the open door beginning a slow sway as she screamed.

"My name is SARAH! "

She awoke to a light touch and a familiar whisper. "Sarah? "With a fuzzy head, she gazed into his face. He held her in deep brown eyes while tenderly stroking her hair. She rose at his gentle nudge and glanced around, face flushed, with his name on her lips. "Sayid? "

" It's alright " He calmed her, drawing her into his arms. " It's alright, you're safe. "

She dissolved to tears, nuzzling her head under his chin, "I thought you were dead. I thought … "

" Shhhh… " He assured her. " I am not dead. I promised I would not abandon you, as long as there is a sky above us. "

He rose, pulling her up with him. " We should leave while we are able. "

He took her hand, leading her to the door, but she flicked her eyes through the room. The plain room beside the empty fish tank. Jack was gone. "Where is Jack? We can't leave without him! "

He turned. " Jack is safe. But we must leave or we will not be. "

He turned her face to his. " You must follow me, and do everything that I tell you ... Do you trust me? "

It seemed a question with an obvious answer. She nodded emphatically. "I trust you. "

The large door opened. Sayid stepped through it grasping her hand. Once he passed the threshold, she was pulled forwards in his path. His hand slipped from hers as she was sucked through the doorway screaming his name. She stepped into a thick, white cloud hovering in the air. A foul odor singed her lungs. She coughed violently, as it strangled the breath out of her. The odor of ash, blood and death.

Guns rattled off all around her with flashing lights in the distance. A slow rise of panic set in - Where was Sayid? The ground beneath her feet was dust that she breathed choking gulps of. Explosive booms rocked the earth under her, reverberating through her body, followed by quick flashes of bright, white lights.

She took a step, hitting something soft with her foot. She struggled with balance, lost her footing and toppled over into the dust. She stuck her head up and found herself face to face with a man lying on his belly. His clothes were red stained. The soil around him was red mud.

She bounced to her feet, scouring the area with her eyes, seeing a battlefield of macabre. Men lie scattered all over the ground; some were pale and others dark. The stink was stronger and harder to breathe through. She stumbled across the bodies and whispered. "Sayid? "

Men dressed in muted colors popped in and out of the smoke, chattering words she didn't recognize. A strong hand that grasped her arm tightly, jolted her - cutting the circulation off. "You come with me. "

She looked up with relief. "Sayid! Where are we? What's happening? "

He yanked her up roughly, setting her on her feet. One of the other men rattled off something to him and he jostled her, demanding that she stay still and not speak. She remembered his words. "Do you trust me? "

She said nothing, nor did she resist when he took her to a holding room and pushed her into a chair. He revealed his intentions bluntly. "I am going to ask you questions. If you do not answer correctly, if you lie ... "

" I will hurt you. "

He leaned forward, bracing himself with one hand against the back of the chair, raising a heavy eyebrow.

"Do you understand me? "

Quivering, she stared into his eyes, and was deeply moved. Shame, sadness, regret - he was nearly as lost as she. She had come to know him as a man of great strength. Now she was able to see, with understanding, what he was trying to tell her so long ago on the boat - he too was broken.

"I understand. " She whispered. "I do understand. "

It was then that the door flew open and another man, dark - like Sayid - and thin with cropped hair, interrupted them. His black eyes threatened horrors she didn't care to witness or experience. In them was buried a fury she had never seen. He yelled gibberish at Sayid, who responded dutifully.

"Come. " Sayid ordered, after the man had departed, and yanked her up. He shoved her into the corridor and together they walked, joined by two guards who kept there steps several paces behind.

He turned his head to her, with brows drawn curiously. "Do you not fear where I am taking you? "

"No " She responded.

He nodded. "It has been determined that you will be made an example. An example for the others. I have been ordered to execute you. "

He looked down at her . "Now do you not fear? "

Her feet stopped moving as she faced him with a calm resolve. " You promised you wouldn't leave me. And I trust you. "

" No. I am not afraid. "

He stood expressionless, while the men behind him jabbered a senseless diatribe. He studied her, and then raised a palm in the air responding with more gibberish.They exchanged glances and then the two men left them standing in the corridor alone.

He grabbed her elbow. "Go through the exit, here. "

He led her to a gray metal door. "There is a supply truck. Hide in there until it has carried you safely from here. "

" You must be quick. "

" Sayid! " The yelling came from the man with the cropped hair who stormed furiously towards them. Sayid flipped around, pulling something dark from his belt. She recognized the quick pop when he pulled the trigger. The man collapsed.

He took the gun and shot himself. She screamed and ran to him. He pushed her away, shoving the gun in her hands, "You must go ... Now! "

"No. " She pleaded. " No, Sayid, Sayid! "

With his last ounce of strength, he shoved her through the door. She was falling once more, tumbling into open space. The image of Sayid through the open door fading in front of her - growing smaller and smaller.

Blurry figures flashed before her. The woman in the yard, the plane crashing, the survivors from the crash. As she tumbled, their faces flitted through her mind. Alex urged her. "Get out. You've got to get out of here …. Now! " She heard the gunshot ring out through the night air and saw Sun flying off of the boat and into the water. Off in the distance, she heard his voice. She heard him calling her. He was calling her name from the beach.

"Are you alright? " She fell into Jacks arms. She gazed up into his soft brown eyes and pondered. His eyes were so familiar, so warm. He reminded her of something - someone

"Jack? "

She awoke to a dimly lit room, sobbing on the hard floor, curled up in the corner. Her face damp and cold from the tears she had cried in her sleep. She pulled the hair from her face and mouth, coughing quietly.

Her head was pounding something fierce.

"Are you alright? Hello? " There was a quiet rustling and a soft voice. " Can you hear me? "

She lie for a few minutes, hurting too much to move. She rose up a little, blinking away the dust from eyes, and shuttered from the pain in her muscles. He called again. "Can you hear me? Are you all right? "

She wiped her face with her hands then rolled over into the glass partition. Jack squatted near with his hands on his knees, studying her. She must have heard him calling her while dreaming.

She lie there in confusion, unable to rise. What had happened? They were yelling at her. Ben demanded that she push the button, Jack demanded she do it. They were both ordering her to do it and they were both yelling out Laren. It was a terrible game of tug-o-war between her and the two of them.

She remembered being angry and frustrated. She saw Ben pushing the taser towards her and then the blinding white light of pain that sent her body shuddering onto the floor. The pain surged through her and felt as though it were ripping her apart. Had Ben left her there with him?

She painfully raised her head, and then answered weakly. "Jack? "