Heeeere's chapter two!
Let's hope they don't cause the plane to crash before we actually get to the end of the chapter…
Chapter two; A Wonderful New Life (NOT!)
Contrary to all the evidence that indicated otherwise, the plane actually managed to lift off the ground.
I know; even I'm shocked!
However, that was really the only good side. Because if there's anything we've learned about the Karakura police, it's that they have very short attention spans for long trips.
"No, you're a dick!"
"No, you're a dick!"
"No, you're a dick!"
"No, you're a dick!"
"No, you're a dick!"
"No, you're a dick!"
"No, you're a dick!"
"No, you're-
"Will you two just shut up already!" Ichigo exploded, while trying his best not to rip Renji's and Matsumoto's heads off.
"He started it!" Rangiku accused, point a finger at Renji's head
"I don't care who started it, I'll have Tatsuki finish it," Ichigo threatened.
This shut them both up, though after a few minutes they picked their argument of "No, you're a dick!" up again in hushed whispers.
"Hey, Soi-fon Taichou?" Rukia called up to the pilot's station.
"What?" Soi-fon growled through clenched teeth.
"When will our stuff arrive?"
"What stuff?"
"The stuff at our old office. Zaraki said they'd bring our stuff to wherever you're taking us."
Soi-fon shrugged. "I suppose it should get there around the time we do," she said with little emotion.
"OK then." Rukia was contented. Soon she'd be able to see Quincy again.
"Oy, Yumichika," Ikkaku whispered to his peacock-eyed friend, "What's the first thing you're gonna do once we get off the plane?"
"Take a shower and try to wash off all the prehistoric filth I'm covered in," he answered with conviction. Ikkaku looked at where his friend was sitting.
"Dude, that area's shinier then the top of my head, what's there to clean?"
"I can just feel the dirt and sweat from fifty years bonding to my perfect cells, OK?" Yumichika protested.
"Pfft, whatever…."
"Hey Sis," Kiyone said, rubbing the arm of her sister comfortingly, "how's you motion sickness holding up?" Isane nodded, and tried to hold back another heave.
Yeah, let's just say it didn't work as well as she thought it would.
"Eeww!" Tatsuki exclaimed, staring at the chunks now gracing the limited floor space where they were sitting. "You should really think about taking some medicine or something. You're a doctor, why not just prescribe yourself some?"
"Oh, I can't handle drugs of any kind," Isane explained.
"Really? Why not?"
"I went to medical school, remember? I know exactly what's in all of them."
"Oh come on, I really don't think-"
"All of them."
"OK then…."
By now even Kiyone was inching away from her sister. (Actually, she and Tatsuki were really the only ones; everyone else was occupied with their own little squabbles.)
"Has she always been this way?" Tatsuki whispered to Kiyone across the way.
"Ever since we were both out of booster seats."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Young Kiyone; "Okaa-san! Isane-chan won't give me the middle seat!"
Mrs. Kotesu; "Isane-chan, it's you sister's turn to sit in the middle, you know that."
Young Isane; "But what if we're in a car accident! The middle is the safest place in the car!"
Mrs. Kotesu; "Isane-chan, the chances of us actually getting in a car accident are practically nothing! Now move over so your sister can have the middle seat."
*Four minutes later, Mrs. Kotesu accidentally runs into the recycle bins. Isane throws up.)
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
"Great…"
"But don't worry," Kiyone reassured her friend, holding up a small syringe, "there's a simple solution." Then she jabbed the syringe into Isane's neck and depressed the plunger.
A moment later she went limp, snoring peacefully.
Meanwhile, while Matsumoto and Renji were still in the middle of their "No, you're a dick!" whispering match, Ichigo leaned over to Rukia and whispered, "I'm sure Quincy will be perfectly fine when we get there, don't' worry."
Rukia jumped a bit. She wasn't really expecting Ichigo or anyone else for that matter to comfort her about the matter. I mean, everyone in the KPD were loyal to a fault and would go out of their way to help a friend in a moment's notice, but they kind of needed a BIG push to do it.
"Thanks," she said, reflexively wiping a tear from her eye.
OK, there wasn't really a tear there, but don't tell her brain that.
Meanwhile, in the pilot's station, Soi-fon was getting increasingly anxious. She hadn't hard any commotion from the back of the plane in a while, and in her experience, that meant they were probably planning something.
Fortunately, those thoughts were interrupted when the radio sprang to life.
#Transport Delta 2 Niner Bravo, you've been circling the airfield for about a half an hour now. Are you planning on landing any time soon, over?#
"This is Transport Delta 2 Niner Bravo," Soi-fon replied, "of course I'm going to land, Tower. Why wouldn't I?" Then she added, "Don't answer that, over."
#Whatever you say, transport. There a bit of a storm brewing here, so we're turning on the runway lights for you. Please try not to run into any building when you land, we just had everything repainted, over.#
Soi-fon grunted affirmation, then reached over to the intercom mike and flipped the on switch.
"Listen up, Maggots," she said, "we're about to land in a few minutes, so strap yourselves in if you don't want to become one with the plane."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
After the plane landed everyone was more than happy to get off that thing. Except for Isane, because she was still unconscious from the shot Kiyone had given her.
"Land!" Kiyone shouted with glee, running out and kissing the ground profusely.
"Has she always been this way?" Tatsuki asked the unconscious Isane.
Surprisingly, she didn't get an answer.
"I hope we're someplace warm," Matsumoto sighed.
"I second that," Yumichika agreed, "I've been meaning to work on my tan."
"How does the sun even reach your skin with all the makeup you always wear?" Ikkaku wondered.
"That would explain why you never where sunscreen," Renji mused.
"I'm just happy to see Quincy again," Rukia said, "I just hope the trip up wasn't to rough on him…"
"From what I've heard, he sounds like an incredibly tough little mouse. I'm sure he'll be fine," Ichigo pointed out.
"Hot sunny beaches, here we come!" Matsumoto said, twirling around at the bottom of the plane's ramp. Ichigo and Rukia just stared for a moment, then shrugged and followed her anyway.
It was then that everybody actually realized that they were standing in the middle of a blizzard.
…
"Well, this sucks…"
"Totally…"
"I was kind of hoping for Maui or something…"
"So does this mean the pool's closed?"
"Is there a bathroom anywhere around here?" Kiyone asked.
"That looks like it over there," Tatsuki said, pointing with the arm she wasn't holding Isane with.
"How can you tell? I can barely see five feet in front of me."
"I don't know, I just can."
"Whatever…" Kiyone shrugged, heading off in the direction Tatsuki pointed in. A minute later, however, she cried, "They both look the same!"
Déjà-vu much?
"OK, Maggots," said Soi-fon, who was now out of the plane and well bundled up, "your quarters are over there, next to the bathrooms. Go in, get settled, and get back here on the double.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to berate the other trainees here for something I'll make up on the spot."
Then she disappeared into the swirling blizzard.
"Well, we might as well get settled in," Renji suggested. "I personally don't want to stand out here freezing my ass off all day." Pretty much everyone thought that was a good idea.
Except for Kiyone. She was still trying to figure out the damn bathrooms.
After a few (OK, after a lot of) do-overs and bruises, the bumbling police officers finally found the building they were suppose to stay in.
When they finally got inside, however…
"This looks exactly like our old building!" Rukia gasped, eyes flying around the room to all their old stuff.
"You know what," Yumichika said, picking up a bottle of eyeliner he remembered dropping under his desk before they left, "I think this is the old building."
Somewhere, Yumichika's cricket chirped.
"Wait, how the hell did they moving the entire building from Karakura to this place?" Tatsuki wondered, setting Isane down at her desk. "It doesn't even make sense!"
"Who cares if it makes sense?" Renji said, throwing his hands up, "Now we don't have to unpack!"
"But we didn't bring anything with us in the first place," Ichigo point out. "Zaraki just picked us up and threw us in the van."
"Doesn't matter."
"Whoa!" Matsumoto gasped as she came in. "It looks just like the old place!"
"Thanks Rangiku, we didn't notice that at all," Renji deadpanned.
"You know," Kiyone said, confused, "you haven't had a drop of alcohol since before the van ride. How can you still be drunk!"
"I have no idea," Matsumoto said, honestly having no idea how she could still be drunk.
"Guys," Rukia moaned, "has anyone seen Quincy?"
No one had.
But just when Rukia was about to go into hysterics, the familiar squeaking of Quincy's exercise wheel could be heard underneath one of the desks. Rukia frantically searched underneath all the desks until she reached Yumichika's.
"Quincy!" she squealed, scooping the entire cage up in a fierce embrace.
"See?" said Ichigo, giving her a hearty pat on the back that almost caused her to drop the cage, "I told you he'd be fine."
At that moment, Isane decided to come to.
"Ugh," she groaned, "I had the weirdest dream…"
"You're gonna have to be more specific, Sis," Kiyone said flatly.
"I dreamed that we were reassigned, and that we had to fly in some rickety old deathtrap of a plane."
"Uh, I hate to break it to you, Isane," Renji said slowly, "but that really did happen."
"No it didn't, we're at the Police Station."
Sighing, Renji walked over to Isane and turned her head so that she was looking out the window that her desk was conveniently located next to.
"Holy f-"
"Fastman!"
All eyes turned to Ikkaku.
"What?" he said. "I just found my copy of my Fastman manga."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
OK, now that they're all settled in, it's time for the PAIN! Training begins next chapter, so don't be late, or else you'll drop and give me fifty!