Title: The Magic Fedora

Theme: Hat

Words: 814

Rating: K+

Warnings: Language, light hints of SaNa (but really just Sanji being Sanji)

Notes: This combines three of my favorite things: Sanji, fedoras, and the infamous red shirt. (Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses? Those are for losers. XP)

Summary: This hat will make any girl fall in love with you instantly!

The Magic Fedora

By Dandy Wonderous

Sanji swirled the contents of his beer bottle dejectedly, watching the liquid slosh around with disinterest. He'd just had his fifth rejection of the night, and it wasn't even ten yet.

He didn't understand it. He did his best to be charming, cater to the women's needs, and no girl was the least bit interested. It was all a bit disheartening.

Maybe he was doing something wrong? Nah…

Still, lately he always ended up sitting alone in a bar with a beer until time to trudge back to the ship.

"Hey, kid. Tough crowd tonight, eh?"

Sanji raised an eyebrow at the old man who sat on the barstool next to him. "What're you talking about, ossan?"

He jerked his head back. "The women, boy. They're too picky for their own good."

The young blonde snorted and looked back at his bottle. "You're tellin' me."

The old man looked around conspiratorially, then leaned in close. Sanji, not too fond of bad teeth and beer breath, leaned away but waited semi patiently.

"I think I got somethin' that could help you get a woman. Any woman you wanted."

Sanji stared at him skeptically, but nevertheless intrigued. "Like what, exactly?"

The man looked around again, then reached into the folds of his jacket and produced a black fedora with a red ribbon that perfectly matched Sanji's shirt. "This," he whispered in awe.

Sanji was horribly disappointed. "A hat?"

"Not just any hat," the man snapped, offended. "A magical fedora that will attract any woman."

Sanji was still unconvinced. "Does it work?"

"Of course it does!"

"Prove it."

The man shrugged and jumped off his stool. Putting the hat on his head, he marched confidently over to a voluptuous young lady further down the bar. He tapped her on the shoulder, glancing at Sanji to make sure he was still watching. He was.

"Excuse me, missy."

"Just a minute," she snapped without looking at him. She continued flirting with other customers.

"I said," he grabbed her shoulder, "excuse me, missy." He spun her around.

"Hey, mister, who do you think…" She trailed off when she looked at him. "Well, hel-lo, handsome!"

The old man shot a smug look back at a flabbergasted Sanji as the girl snuggled up to him. Why, he was old enough to be her father, or even her grandfather!

The man coddled the girl for a little while longer before releasing her, taking off the hat, and sauntering back to Sanji. "Well? How's that for girl-catching?"

Sanji was practically drooling.

"You want it?"

The cook was about to nod blindly, but he hesitated. "What's the catch?"

The old man was abruptly businesslike. "A thousand beri."

A quick vision of Nami and Robin hanging off either arm had him scrambling for his wallet. "Deal!"

After the blonde had left with his purchase, the old man walked back to the young girl and tapped her shoulder. "Hey."

"Hey, Daddy. How'd it go?" she asked.

"Took his money, no problem," he replied, handing her the beri bills.

She laughed, taking another fedora from the bartender. Her father took it, put it in his coat, and approached another lonely man in the bar.

"Hey, kid. Tough crowd tonight, eh?"

"Hello, Nami-swaaan! Did you miss me, my dear?"

Nami didn't look up from the map she was finishing. "Uh, sure, Sanji-kun. Don't stand in my light."

He moved obligingly. "Um, Nami-san… do you noticed anything different about me?"

Nami sighed in exasperation. She really didn't need Sanji's games right now. Deciding to give him what he wanted in hopes that he would go away, Nami looked up.

"Well?"

Nami froze, staring at him. He was leaning with his hand on the table, the other hand on his hip, smiling down at her with all his usual lovesick exuberance. But what gave her pause was the hat perched on his blonde locks.

"Sanji-kun? Wh-what… where did you get that hat?"

His smile broadened. "Do you like it?"

Nami didn't answer. She stood up and leaned across the table, eyes locked on him. "Yeah… yeah, it looks good on you."

Sanji's pulse sped up as she neared, closer and closer…

"SAAANJI!!! MEA-whoa, nice hat!"

Sanji scowled and turned angrily to the door. "What the hell do you want, Luffy?"

A rubber hand grabbed his hat and snatched it off his head. Luffy pushed his own hat back and put the fedora on, laughing.

"Shit, Luffy, no!!!" Sanji lunged for the hat, but his captain, delighted with his new game, had run out on deck. Sanji threw an apologizing look at Nami before giving chase.

Nami sat back down at the table to finish her map, smirking as she heard a lot of fighting and cursing from deck, and then a splash and something about a hat being eaten by a sea king. Too bad. It was a nice hat.

The End

…*drooling*

Was the hat magic? Or was it just Sanji's sex appeal (XP)? That, my friend, is up to you. ^^

Anonymous Reader Review Corner!!

Yumi: 1) Holy cow. In the words of my history teacher, you are starved for entertainment. XP Aw, thanks! If it does, tell me! XD Whoa, go you, defying the laws of nature. ^^ Naw. Zoro woulda just shot them scary looks until they ate the veggies. XP 2) XP I think you did. XD Yeah, he's happy. Ish. ^^' Poetic? Really? *squees happily* Yeah, Sanji is bleeding in smoky rooms quite often, I'm sure (and it probably drives Chopper up the wall, XP). Aww… I's sowwy. 3) Nope. He was busy raiding the kitchen. Oh, good. I'm glad! ^^ Thanks! Yup. He's so fun to mess with. XP