Sorry for the delay in getting to a new chapter on this one, but some things have been happening lately in the real world that took some precedence. Anyhow, I thought this would be a fun little addition before getting back to the REALLY fun stuff. I just couldn't leave poor old Booth like that and not have him have some reaction that was noticeable. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
"Alright, Bones," Booth said as he stood back from the newly placed sensor next to the door to her bedroom. "Step up, open that beautiful eye of yours, and let the sensor take a scan."
"This is ridiculous, Booth," Bones said firmly from where she stood.
"It is not," he replied firmly. "I got a lecture from Pops on perversion and the proper treatment of women, spent almost three hours scrubbing, washing and polishing that damn Cadillac of his, and then got caught by Max having sex in that Car of Evil! It's a blessed miracle that Junior isn't permanently shriveled up and hiding! Before we get to enjoy any more of the festivities I am making sure that there is no chance of anyone walking in on us! And I am also making DAMN sure that Satan is being fitted for snow shoes before I wake up again from a nap cuffed and stuffed with everything on full display!"
"And for that I can understand the deadbolt and chain, but two chains, two deadbolts, a digital combination lock, and a retinal scanner?" she questioned, wondering if he had genuinely developed a mental disorder and needed Sweets intervention, loathe as she was to admit that there was anything substantial to such a soft science as that practiced by the young man.
"And the tech guys from the Bureau will be here tomorrow with the palm scanner," Booth informed her, letting her know by his look that he was completely serious. "They're doing the same rig at my place tomorrow, too."
"Hank is at my Father's for the next few days, so why the rush?" Bones asked, ever the practical one.
"Have you even been paying attention to what has happened to me today?" Booth asked incredulously. "With the way my luck is running both of them as well as Mitch will stop by to check on things when we're right in the middle of some totally awesome 100% Pure Grade A Sin! I am taking no chances! No locks, no sex!"
"'100% Pure Grade A Sin'?" she quoted, questioningly, an amused look on her face as she allowed herself to have the retina scan performed.
"It damn well better be if Mitch is going to be labeling me a sexually perverted freak for all eternity!" Booth said self-righteously with a firm nod of his head. "Anything less is for pansies like my new supervisor, Hacker, who is an absolute total waste of skin!"
"I think Andrew is rather nice," Bones commented. She'd only met Hacker once, but he'd seemed nice enough, though his blatant pass at her had not gone unnoticed, for which she had told him privately that she had no intention of dating, much less having sexual relations, with anyone who works with Booth. After some deep consideration, while she was quite grateful for what he had shown her in terms of making her ready for a potential relationship with anyone, she had come to realize it had been a serious mistake to date Sully. Booth had set a line about co-workers, and she had at the time believed in it, so she had acted in a wholly hypocritical way by ignoring the line by dating Sully.
"Bones," Booth shuddered. "I would appreciate it if you never say that Brown Nosing Nimrod's name! His last name is bad enough, but you using his first name makes me want to hurl!" Then he remembered something. "By the way, Bones, Sweets is taking some vacation time in the near future, so I need you to be thinking about who you would be willing to tolerate as our therapist until the kid gets back."
"Sweets did not mention anything to me about a vacation," Bones remarked as she entered the bedroom.
"He doesn't know it yet, but he's going to be spending a fun filled six months on an arctic survival course learning to make igloos and eating seal blubber for warmth and nourishment," Booth told her as he also entered the room. He made sure to close and lock the door. The events of that horrific afternoon were still too fresh to do otherwise. "After that he gets a dream come true tour of duty in Afghanistan working with the Boys in EOD for another six months of joy to round out his vacation time."
Bones glared at Booth, knowing he was the root cause of this. "WHY is Sweets having to endure such activities for the next year?" she questioned.
Booth knew that look. It was the one that would turn Satan into a sub-zero Popsicle. Fortunately Booth had the side of righteousness backing him up for once. Not even Bones could debate on behalf of Sweets this time. Nope. The little pimple had seriously screwed the proverbial pooch and Booth had been the victim of the calamitous apocalypse that had followed.
"The Boy had one simple task to complete," he told her. "Keep an eye on Pops while you and I had some quality time this afternoon. All he had to do was wait to let the Little Vienna Sausage out to play for one afternoon, but what happened instead? He couldn't keep it tucked and zipped so I wind up getting caught without a stitch on by Pops, get lectured on perversion and the proper treatment of ladies, and then I spent hours scrubbing the Machine of Evil! And if that wasn't bad enough I got caught by Max having a grand old time in the back of Satan's automobile with his daughter! So Sweets gets to spend some penalty time making igloos at the North Pole, and then searching out and defusing explosives in that Hell Hole in the Middle East!"
"You do realize that there will be no sexual activities while Sweets is gone on such a dangerous and ill advised trip?" Bones pointed out very calmly, but with a pointed glare.
Booth felt a little bit of a chill with the glare this time, but he had to stick to his guns. "Now, Bones, there's no need for that kind of reaction," he assured her. He knew that she wouldn't be able to go a year without sampling Junior and the Boys again any number of times. Junior had really shined the whole weekend during the festivities with Bones and Angela. Hadn't he? Yep. He had.
"I beg to differ," she rejoined. "He is not only our therapist, which I still don't see the need for, but he has become our friend, as well. Friends do not send their friends to admittedly very dangerous locales as punishment for perceived slights."
"Perceived?" Booth shrieked. "Did I, or did I not, get thoroughly humiliated this afternoon when Pops walked in and saw me nude and trussed up with Junior standing tall and proud? Did I, or did I not, have to suffer through an hour long lecture about perverse behavior and how to properly treat a lady in the bedroom from Pops, and then spend three hours washing, waxing, and polishing that Beast of a vehicle? Did I, or did I not, get caught, again without a stitch on, schtupping in the backseat with you by your Father who could roast my cajones without a moments thought if he was pissed enough? And it all happened because Sweets couldn't wait to dip his wick, so he caused Pops to be delivered here several hours early! The Boy deserves some serious punishment, Bones!"
"I disagree," she told him calmly as she reached for the phone.
"Who are you calling?" he asked, suddenly very nervous.
"I thought I would call Angela and see if she was interested in some more fun this evening, but instead I believe it would be better to warn her that it will be approximately a year before we are able to engage in anymore sexual activities with you as you will be, how is it they say, cut up?" she informed him.
"Cut OFF," he replied, correcting her. His shoulders slumped. DAMN! "Okay, you win. No punishment for Sweets," he conceded. The very idea of no sex for a year after regaining a sex life, and a damn HOT one at that, was just too much to gamble with. Bones was one of those rare ones who does not bluff. If she says no sex for a year, she means just that. NO sex for a year.
"Very good," she smiled. "Now I can call Angela and ask her if she would like to join us for the night. You did, after all, suffer a great deal of indignity this afternoon, and deserve to be well rewarded for how you dealt with it."
"Damn straight!" he agreed. "I'm going to get showered and ready!"
She chuckled as she watched him move quickly to the bathroom. "Angela?" she said when her friend picked up. "How would you like to come back over for another night with Booth and I? I think Booth needs a reward for what he had to suffer through today, and I think another night of sex with the two of us is appropriate for that."
Once she got Angela's commitment for the night, she hung up and made her way to the bathroom. Just because Angela was coming over in a while, didn't mean she couldn't enjoy a small sample of the upcoming activities beforehand, right?
A/N: I decided to do a set up where we cold have some more of the threesome fun that the story revolves around, so this is what I came up with. The humor was something I thought would be fun given all that had happened to him, and how crazed he would likely be in the aftermath. I hope you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be up soon. Sorry about the delay, but the real world, illness, and some projects that could not be put on hold dictated the time frame. I hope everyone had a Happy Easter! Gregg.