Author's Note: I wanted to make an extra effort to thank everyone who has reviewed this story. I try to reply to everyone I can and I really appreciate all the feedback. Your encouragement keeps me going!
They agreed to meet up again in the Western Approach, but Varric managed to convince Hawke to stay with them a while at their camp before they went their separate ways. Cassandra was actually grateful for the opportunity to get to know the Champion better, but the more questions she asked, the more disappointed she felt. Hawke had certainly accomplished some amazing things, but Cassandra was learning that her renown had far more to do with Varric's storytelling than anything else. She was gracious about her fame, however, and extraordinarily patient with Cassandra's questions, although she must have heard them all before, perhaps dozens of times.
Studying Hawke as she spoke, Cassandra tried to reconcile the slight, roguish woman before her with the Champion of Kirkwall she had heard so much about. Hawke looked far too small to be such a larger-than-life figure, but she didn't know why she was surprised. Justinia had been every bit as diminutive, not to mention frail, but she had commanded multitudes when she spoke.
"And that was it, really," Hawke said with a shrug, finishing up a story about the Tal Vashoth. "Qunari are skilled fighters, but everyone has a weakness."
"Then how did you defeat the Arishok?" Cassandra asked. "His fighting prowess was legendary!"
Hawke sighed. "Well, he was pretty fast, but I'm faster, so I just sort of kept running away and waiting for him to swing that big club of a sword at me. Then, while he was trying to lift it up again, I'd get a few stabs in. It was really a matter of endurance."
Cassandra felt her heart falling further. "But that's..."
"Not as impressive as Varric made it sound? I get that a lot."
"Hey, a little embellishment never hurt anyone," Varric protested, standing up to stretch the kinks out of his back.
"You say that," Hawke said, "but you haven't had to deal with all the idiots who challenged me to a fight simply because your stories make me sound invincible."
"You've survived them, haven't you? Maybe I didn't exaggerate as much as you think."
"See? This is what he does when he knows I'm right about something," Hawke complained. "He turns on the charm and pays me a compliment."
Cassandra nodded with a frown. "He does, doesn't he?"
"And that's my cue to leave," Varric said with a grimace. "If you ladies need me, I'll be over there."
He pointed at where Dorian and Anders were talking on the edge of camp, a frown settling into his features when his eyes focused on the pair. Anders hadn't joined them around the campfire when Varric asked Hawke to stay, deliberately keeping his distance and occupying himself with other tasks around the camp. At some point Dorian must have wandered off to join him, but Cassandra had been too absorbed in their conversation to notice. She wasn't sure what had possessed Anders to bring the Tevinter along on this mission rather than someone more logical like Blackwall—he was a Warden himself, after all—but she hoped his reasons didn't have anything to do with Dorian's doe eyes and charming smile.
Returning her attention to Hawke when Varric had walked away, she saw that the Champion was still focused on the other side of the camp, on Anders in particular. A crease had formed between her brows and she seemed to be debating about something as she looked back at Cassandra.
"Can I ask you something?" she said, biting at her lower lip in a surprising display of doubt.
Eyebrows lifting, Cassandra thought guiltily about how she had been interrogating Hawke all night and hadn't once asked for permission to question her. "Of course."
"You do know what he's done, don't you?"
Cassandra swallowed, a little startled by the anger in Hawke's voice. "I do."
Hawke shook her head in disappointment. "I got the impression that you are a woman of faith."
"I was once the right hand of the Divine. So yes, my faith is very important to me."
Hawke's blue eyes hardened, brows furrowing as she asked, "Then how can you follow him?"
Looking at Anders, Cassandra thought about her response. "I can't speak to the man he was when you knew him. But I trust the man he is now. He has sacrificed as much on behalf of the Inquisition as anyone else—perhaps more—and I truly believe that he is doing everything he can to make up for his sins."
Hawke nodded slowly, looking down at her hands. "I've had so much doubt about what happened in Kirkwall. I let him live because I didn't want to give him an easy way out, but I also feared what he might do afterward. I knew that his actions would be my responsibility after I let him go, and when I heard what happened at the conclave… I couldn't help but wonder if he was involved."
"He wasn't responsible," Cassandra said, reaching out to reassure her with an abortive motion, hesitating at the last moment. "It isn't your fault."
Wiping at her eyes covertly, Hawke pursed her lips and shook her head. "Anders and I had our share of disagreements over the years, but I never thought he would go so far as to blow up a chantry. Most of the time he was wonderful, so selfless and kind. He spent all his time in Kirkwall helping others, after all. But he can also be obsessive, unwavering and incredibly cold when his views are challenged. And he is better at lying than I'd ever expected." Looking up at Cassandra, she added, "I trusted him, and he betrayed that trust in the worst possible way."
Frowning, Cassandra concluded, "You're afraid that he will betray us too."
Hawke shook her head and threw her hands in the air helplessly. "I don't know. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this. I barely know you. But I feel like I need to warn someone." Returning her attention to the men on the other side of camp, she said with a wistful smile, "Varric seems to have forgiven him, so maybe he knows something I don't. But I can't bring myself to trust him again. I don't know how."
Cassandra didn't know what to say, much less what to think. She had admired Hawke for a long time, and while the reality of her might not have lived up to all the stories, Cassandra still respected her deeply. She couldn't just disregard her opinion. "I appreciate the advice," she said finally, careful not to commit to anything.
Smiling in resignation, Hawke said, "But you're going to ignore it."
"No. I will take it into account. But until he gives me reason to doubt..."
"That's just the problem," Hawke interrupted with a sigh. "He didn't give me enough reason to doubt until the chantry's ashes were already falling from the sky. Just be wary of him. For everyone's sake."
Cassandra nodded dumbly, conflicted as she watched Hawke glance at Anders again, regret and something like longing burning in her eyes.
"I'll see you in the Western Approach," Hawke said finally, standing up and brushing dirt from her pants. "And tell Varric goodbye for me," she added before turning and disappearing into the night.
Cassandra didn't know how long she stared into the fire before Varric joined her.
Looking around with disappointment in his eyes, he sat down across from her. "Did Hawke leave already?"
Cassandra nodded. "She asked me to tell you goodbye."
"You look a little queasy, Seeker." He chuckled. "She told you about Merrill's disastrous attempt to cook, didn't she? The smell of elfroot made me feel sick for months after that. Or was it Isabela's birthday party? The mental images alone are enough to make anyone a little sick."
Shaking her head, Cassandra's eyes drifted toward Anders unbidden and by the time she forced them back to meet Varric's eyes, he was frowning. "So that's what you talked about. Don't let her turn you against him. She and Anders have history. She isn't exactly objective."
"And you are?"
"Maybe not. But at least I don't have enough unresolved tension with the man to fill a romance novel."
An image of Anders and Varric posing awkwardly on the front of a romance novel popped into her head, and she found herself smiling in spite of the gravity of their conversation.
Varric echoed her smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "All I'm saying is that Hawke's judgment is flawed where Anders is concerned. You're better off following your own instincts."
She rolled her eyes. "Yes. Because they served me so well with you."
"They did," he insisted. "I was hiding something and you knew it. And when you chose to trust me, you were also right because my loyalties actually are in the right place." He took a deep breath. "And you can trust me on this: he couldn't make the same mistake now if he tried. I wouldn't let him."
"Hawke said she never saw it coming. She trusted him until the moment he betrayed her."
Varric shook his head. "Then she's fooling herself. We could have figured it out last time if we'd been willing to try. I know better now."
"You had better hope you're right. Because for better or worse, I do trust him. And I think I stopped being objective a while ago."
He gave her a curious look, but seemed pleased by her decision and remained silent.
Standing up, she gave Dorian and Anders one last glance before turning toward the tents. "I'm going to bed. I suspect the Inquisitor has a busy day planned for us tomorrow and I could use the rest. Goodnight."
"Sleep well, Seeker."
Author's Note: So now that we have a little more of Hawke's thoughts, what do you think?