A/N- Can I first start off by saying how disappointed I am with the way Alan Ball is portraying season 3 on TB? I'm at the point where I am ready to boycott even watching his craziness. Being a writer, I understand creative freedom, and the series is only based on the books...BUT, he has taken everything and just tossed it out the window. Even if I was a Bill fan (gag) I'd be upset with the way he has disregarded the actual books. *steps off soapbox*
So, I feel better now.
Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been away on business and it really takes away from my writing time. Hope everyone can forgive me! Just so you know, the reviews, alerts, and favorites are amazing. Thank you so much for following along with me...I am so appreciative! THANK YOU
Thanks to the amazing and incredible SouthernLady23 for her Beta magic. Every time she sends me back a chapter I get all warm and fuzzy. Please check out my profile- she also created an incredible banner for this story.
You can find a link to my facebook page there too!
I knew she was trying to keep some semblance of peace and calm between us. After last night, I really didn't blame her. My words hurt her, I felt it deep within me just how much I had actually broken her. To be honest, I really didn't expect her to be in my bed when I rose. I thought she would have managed to figure out a way out of the house, or would at least be locked in another bedroom.
As much as I wanted to just remain quiet with my body wrapped around hers in our post coital bliss, I knew there were much more pressing issues at hand. I needed to be the practical one here- I needed to protect her.
"Sookie..." I had only said her name and already her eyes were filling with tears.
"No-not yet. I'm not ready for this to be over just yet." I watched her eyes drop to the bed and the tears which were suspended in her eyes finally fell.
Ready for this to be over? Was she referring to the quiet- to the truce we had seem to come to, or our actual relationship? For some reason, her words stung my body like a thousand tiny needles pricking my cold, hard skin.
"Sookie, what are you talking about? What do you not want to end?" I couldn't help the desperation which was apparent in my question.
She shook as she raised her eyes to meet mine, so full of fear and hurt. The feelings coming from her made me want to pull her close to me and protect her from everything that could ever hurt her.
"Well, I'm assuming this is it, right? You made it clear last night I don't have a chance of being anything other than a glorified fangbanger. So...I guess I'm just preparing myself for you to ask me politely to leave." She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. I had seen her do this so many times before. It was her way of acting brave, readying herself for when I tossed her out of my life.
"Leave? Why would I ask my wife to leave? Listen to me, Sookie, that is what you are to me – my wife. I will never consider you anything other than that. Now, about last night; I was upset and should have better measured my words. For that, I apologize." I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling desperate to make her understand my sincerity.
"But you told me vampires only have meals and people they fuck, not friends, Eric." She didn't look at me, and her tone wasn't accusatory, it was just matter-of-fact.
"We don't, Sookie." She looked up at me, her face a cross between confusion and anger. "And no matter what happens, you will never be my friend." I reached for her hand and could hear her heartbeat accelerate from her anger.
"How can you say these things?" She pulled her hand out of my grasp without hesitation.
"You didn't let me finish," I stated, taking hold of her hand once more. "You will never be my friend, because you will always be the woman who I took as my bonded and my wife. You will always be the woman I..." The distinct sound of my cell phone ringing caused the words to die in my throat.
I heard Sookie let out an exasperated breath, her eyes giving away her frustration with the caller's sense of timing.
"I'm sorry, it's Pam. I'll try to make it quick." I let go of her soft, warm hand and found my phone. I kept my eyes on her as she fidgeted with the bed linens and tried to smooth her tousled hair. I listened to Pam, more interested in the small movements Sookie was making than my child's conversation.
Finally, Pam said something which caught my attention. Apparently, Victor was spotted. I wondered if he was on a mission from Felipe, who still seemed ignorant to Victor's plans, or if he was on a rogue mission to try and finish what he started.
I looked at Sookie, and motioned to her I was leaving the room for a moment. I couldn't concentrate on Pam and watch Sookie at the same time. I stood in the hallway and listened to Pam tell me everything she knew about the current situation. My anger began to rise as I thought about Victor daring to come into My area after all he had done to ensure my final death.
"Good work, Pam. Call me again if you hear something new or if the prick decides to show up at the bar for audience with me." I ended the call and paced in front of the bedroom door, trying to formulate a plan which would send Madden to his grave- permanently.
I walked back into the bedroom and was pleased to see Sookie was still in my bed. Just the sight of her naked, entwined in my sheets, was enough to ease some of the tension coursing through my body. I looked at her, and briefly thought about how much I had missed the closeness of her body. The simple feeling of laying next to her and feeling her warm breath on my skin was one of the things I had missed most when I was being held captive.
She looked up at me, her expression was full of concern and question, and I knew now was the time to tell her about what I had learned about the extent of Victor's plans.
"Lover, we need to talk-now." I moved closer to her and saw her face take on a sudden sadness. She moved her body so I could sit next to her on the bed, but remained quiet. I could see the turmoil in her expression, and I needed to know what had happened so suddenly.
"What is wrong?" I asked as she looked up at me, a small and wistful smile on her lips.
"Please, it's silly. It isn't important...what do we need to talk about?" She tried to sound upbeat and ready to listen to me, but I couldn't have this conversation with her and not know what was bothering her.
"No, I need you to tell me what is upsetting you. I have already told you I could never think of you as something other than my wife. What more can I say for you to believe me?" I pleaded with her to forgive my mistake.
"Eric, it's not that. It's just, when you call me lover...I can't help but think about us the way we used to be. I told you last night you didn't get to call me that anymore, but I can't help but feel good when I hear you say it." She looked up at me, the vision of an innocent child, but her eyes showed the scars she carried. Her words were no louder than a whisper, barely audible.
I kissed the top of her head and wrapped my arms around her, wanting to be as close to her as possible.
"Lover, we will get there-I promise." I felt her arms wrap around my waist and I smiled at her gesture.
"So, what is so important?" Her voice held firm, but I could feel her anxiety and fear.
"Victor Madden is in the area, and no one knows his reason for being here." I felt her body tense and she gripped my body tighter. "I need to tell you what I learned when I was being held, and I'm afraid it is going to upset you." I pulled away from her and brushed the stray hair from away from her face.
"All right, tell me. I can handle it." She straightened her back and took a deep breath, but I knew this conversation would end with her crying and me possibly in a murderous rage.
"Connor, the fairy who kidnapped me, was hired by Victor. He was more than willing to take the job because he knew of our bond and because he was the cousin of Naeve and Lochin. He tortured me as a means to hurt you, Sookie. He knew how much we meant to one another, and he wanted revenge for your part in the deaths of his kin."
I could hear the blood pump through her body, and I could smell the fear start to radiate from her. Her heartbeat was doubling, and a small sheen of sweat was beginning to settle on her brow. She nodded slowly and motioned for me to continue.
"He blamed you for the death of his cousins, and felt the only appropriate payback was the death of a part of your family...so he chose me. This all fit very nicely into Victor's plans, as I would be out of the way and he could easily overthrow Felipe and take over everything. The two of them worked out the details, going so far as to writing it up in a contract. I guess the one thing fairies have going for them is their practicality-they never do a job without the necessary paperwork. Anyway, Victor wanted me dead almost immediately, but Connor had other plans. He decided to keep me around for a while and test my survival."
I could smell her tears as they began to fall from her eyes, and the fear was coming off her in waves.
"Eric, I am so sorry you had to suffer for something that was my fault. They should have just killed me-I wish they had killed me." The words came out in a desperate sob as she shook.
"No, you survived! You lived and they did not. Do not ever wish for your death again-ever. I would endure years – centuries - of torture if it meant you were alive and safe. I am not sorry for the deaths of those fucking fairies, they all deserved to die." I grabbed her by the shoulders, slightly shaking her to make sure she was listening to me. Her eyes were full of fear, and I knew I needed to keep telling her the rest of their devious plans.
"But you were taken because of me." She began to weep, and I could feel her guilt.
"Sookie, you need to listen to me. Forget the reason why I was taken because the most important part is what we are going to do now? Connor had a plan which involved getting to you once I was finally dead. The contract he made with Victor was to kidnap and kill me. Once I was gone, Victor was going to come after you. He was going to take you for his own and show the King how he was able to forcefully remove me and claim you. He had planned on using this as his intimidation towards the King. But, Connor wanted revenge on you too, so he planned on finishing me off and beating Victor to the punch. If you hadn't come for me when you did, I'm certain I would be gone, and you would now be somewhere very unpleasant."
Her sobs grew louder as the words and reality of what could have happened sunk in. She was deathly afraid of being tortured again, and I had just confirmed someone was out to do just that. She began to have a hard time breathing, and I knew she was hyperventilating.
"Sookie, look at me! I have you-you are safe with me! I will go to my final death before I allow some crazed fairy to get to you and hurt you!"
"He's dead right? You and Pam killed him...he's gone?" I don't think I had ever heard her so hopeful for someone's death.
"Yes, he is most certainly dead, lover. He can't hurt you-ever. But, Victor is still here and he is trying to get you. I'm certain the news of my reemergence has reached him, and Victor is not pleased his plan has failed. I'm sure he knows I was able to figure out the deal he made with Connor, and he needs to do something desperate in order to save his skin. I have a feeling he is coming directly after you," I choked out.
When the words came out of my mouth it sounded as though they were being spoken by someone else. It sounded like I was listening in on a conversation, and those last words hung in the air. My fear of Madden getting to her became more real, and I couldn't handle the thought.
She sat before me, tears pouring from her eyes as she took in all of the information I had just burdened her with. Her body trembled as she rocked back and forth.
"I can't take this anymore. Everyone is always trying to kill me, or trying to kill the people I love! I can't live like this, I'm not worth this much pain and suffering-I'm not worth anything!"
Her cries about doubting her self-worth tore through my body. She was never going to believe just how important she was to so many people. The guilt suddenly hit me again. I had contributed to the feeling of her worthlessness. I had made her feel like she was nothing, by refusing to save her life, and insinuating she was nothing more than a meal- and that was just in the last week. All her life, people had made her believe she was insignificant, and she believed it.
"Lover, don't say things like that. You are worth so much more than you will ever believe. You are everything I hold dear...you are everything to me!" I grabbed her and crushed her delicate body to mine.
"Of course I'm worth something to you, Eric. I'm one of your asset's; I'm an employee!" The words had a clear, sharp edge to them.
"No! Even if you didn't have your gift, you would still be mine. You are my entire world, woman! You are everything to me, not because I need your gift, but because I... NEED...YOU!"
I yearned to feel her , and show her how much I cared for her. I pulled her tear stained face up to mine and kissed her as though we hadn't kissed in forever. I devoured her mouth, wanting to explore every soft space I could find. My hands roamed the contours of her naked flesh, bringing goosebumps to the surface of her skin.
She moaned into my mouth, causing my fangs to snap down in arousal. I covered her body with mine, needing to rub myself over every inch of her. The need she brings out in me is frightening, never in my existence have I ever been so needy-of anyone.
"I need you, Sookie. I need you, always." I ran my tongue over her exposed neck as she squirmed underneath me. "You need to take my blood." I got hard just thinking about it.
"What will it do to our bond?" She was breathless as the words fell from her lips.
I hadn't actually thought about what would happen to the bond. If Connor had actually severed it completely, it would take us exchanging three times. But, if he only partially broke it, one exchange could bring it back to life.
"I honestly don't know, lover." I pulled off the sheet that was covering her chest and dragged my fangs over her nipple, causing her to buck under me.
"Do you want me to take your blood because you want me to be stronger, or because you want to feel our bond again?" She racked her fingernails down my back, eliciting a deep, primal moan to escape from my chest.
I wasn't prepared for her question. Did I want the bond back, or was it simply to give her strength against an attack? Could I tie myself to her again in such a permanent way, knowing she might resent me for it later?
She always blamed me for manipulating her and forcing her to feel things which were out of her control. Could I trust her like I trusted her before? Did I have a single ounce of doubt that what she told me about her relationship with Felipe was true?
I looked down at her, beautiful and mine. I knew I couldn't survive not having her beside me, but could I live without the bond? Having her tied to me was instant protection for her, but if I could eliminate Victor, and she spoke the truth about Felipe, there wouldn't be much need for her protection.
One thing I was absolutely certain of- as much as she was mine, I was hers. What I didn't know was the answer to her question.
"Oh, Sookie...my wife..." I whispered, holding her to me and trailing kisses down her neck. "For once I don't know the answer. I want to feel our bond again, but you must know..." My words were cut off by her lips capturing mine.
"What, Eric? What should I know?" she asked, pulling back to look into my eyes with a look of utter desperation and need apparent on her face.
I pulled her into a close embrace and braced myself for her reaction. "You must know the power you hold over me. Reaffirming our bond is forever, I can't do it if you aren't able to commit your life to me- always. We can't bond if you are not willing to allow me to protect you and know what is best for you. Can you do this, my lover? Can you trust me enough to know I would never manipulate you in the ways you have accused me of in the past? Can you give yourself to me- your entire self?" The seriousness of my words caught me by surprise.
I tensed as she gasped at my words, and I felt her tremble. Fear seized me and I froze, steeling my frame as I braced myself to take what was surely to be her rejection. How could I have misjudged everything so? Fuck!
*Couldn't you just break Eric's cell phone for ringing at the wrong time! Thoughts?