Chapter Twenty-Six
38 Weeks Pregnant

"This is impossible" Tony huffed as he tossed the paper of directions beside himself on the floor. He was frustrated and wishing he could put the task off for another day, but he had already done so too many times and he was officially out of time.

"Why don't you let me have a go at it?" Charlotte offered from the door where she had been secretly watching with a cup of tea.

"Because," Tony turned his head to Charlotte, her presence taken in stride; he'd half suspected that she'd somehow be watching over his shoulder. "You don't need to be stressing yourself out any more than necessary." She was about to protest so he hurried to add, "And I promised that I'd do it for you."

"How about," She placed her tea on top of the dresser as she entered the room. "We do it together instead?"

"Charlotte" It was only her name, but it clearly spoke of his irritation. She didn't think him capable.

"Tony" She stressed with her own annoyance, his whole, kid gloves feet propped, attitude was driving her insane. "I'm pregnant not crippled!"

"You're right" Tony conceded as he pushed his ego to the side. He needed help and Charlotte needed to feel helpful. "Maybe between the two of us we can get this thing to be more than a safety recall in the making."

"Well with an attitude like that" Charlotte spoke sarcastically as she carefully toed her bare feet around the pieces of what would hopefully be a crib soon. "We'll have this thing set up in no time!"

"How about I hold it in place," Tony suggested as he stood with one of the crib's railings. "While you screw it together."

"Sounds good to me" Charlotte agreed as she pulled her hair into a messy bun before moving to grab the little bag of screws.

"Careful" Tony couldn't help but warn as he watched her lower herself to the floor with unspoken difficulty. He knew she wouldn't be getting back to her feet without help.

"I'm fine" Charlotte resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she retrieved the screwdriver. She knew he meant well but she didn't need a verbal reminder of her situation, the physical one was more than enough.

Tony sighed as he looked at the pieces lying all around them, "Next time we're buying the display" It was hard to believe that such a simple chore could cause so much aggravation.

A part of her mind wanted to explain the lack of safety in a display model, but most of it was screaming, "Next time?" Another crib meant another baby and… her mind was imploding.

"No!" Tony's eyes grew about three sizes as he scrambled to say, "I didn't mean that." But something in Charlotte's eyes changed with that answer and it had him furthering, "Not that I'm against it" but what he was almost sure was surprise crept up as well. "Or for it" and now there was a look so twisted into her features that he couldn't make out its meaning. "Or… can we just forget I even said that?" He tried in a last ditch effort to make her stop staring at him in that way that screamed they were about to have a life changing moment. "Indifference can be my middle name."

"How about," Logically she knew he had simply had a slip of words, spoken without thinking, but the illogical part of her mind wanted her to search for the deeper meaning of things. "we get this one together first…" She fearfully told it to shut up as she turned her attention to fitting a screw in its slot. "and get the baby in it before we decide if we're qualified to assemble anymore."

He wasn't sure if she was referring to babies or cribs, but he was thankful for the out; he wasn't ready for that conversation. "Won't be long now though." Just the thought made his palms sweat.

"Any day now really" Charlotte confirmed as she gave the screwdriver one last twist.

"Show off" Tony teased. They now had one railing fully attached to the headboard and she was looking far too happy with herself.

"Hater" She smirked as she shrugged off her sweater. She was fully amused as she watched Tony try to balance their partially assembled crib while reaching for the baseboard. "Want help?"

"I've got it." He assured.

"Sure" She rolled her eyes as she reached out to support the headboard. She'd never understand men and their 'I can do everything' attitude. "So…" She waited until he got both head and baseboard lined up before continuing, "How are you feeling about the baby being so close?"

He didn't have to think about it at all as he said, "Excited" but her look clearly said he needed to further explain. "Don't get me wrong… I'm nervous as hell, but I'm just ready to have him here." After all this he almost needed it. "To have him in my arms."

The absolute honesty she saw in Tony had her admitting, "I'm scared" It was something she hadn't even had the courage to admit to herself until now.

"I'd be scared if you weren't." Tony admitted reassuringly. "Things are about to get crazy."

"It's not the labor or the long nights or anything." Though those were scary thoughts. "It's just…" She paused in uncertainty. She didn't know if she should be saying this to Tony.

"You're worrying it'll happen again." Tony nearly whispered as he adverted his eyes; he knew exactly what she was referring to. The thought never left his mind but still he hated the fact that it had even entered hers.

"Tony I di-"

"That's not going to happen Charlotte." He interrupted any reassurance or apology she could begin to offer. "Everything's going to be fine." And that wasn't a reassurance either. It was fact. Well at least what he was selling to himself as fact; it was the only way he could function properly each day.

"Tony" but like a light she watched him switch and she knew she'd be better off changing the subject. "After this maybe we can order in and watch a few movies."

He smiled at the suggestion, but it was a little too bright and it didn't quite reach his eyes as he said, "Sounds great!"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

With the sound of the door creaking open McGee turned his attention from the television. "Hey Babe" He watched as she hung her scarf and coat before asking, "Where've you been?"

Silently she lifted a brown paper bag and made her way to the couch. "I went for food." She announced as she set their dinner on the coffee table and sat beside him.

"Babe, that's from the place on the corner?" He could tell by the smell alone.

"And?" She ignored what he was hinting at as she opened the bag and removed a few cartons.

"And you've been gone for two hours that I know of." He knew that he shouldn't pry, she clearly didn't want to share, but this was unusual for her and he was worried.

"I went to see Gibbs." She shrugged as she opened a carton and grabbed one of the plastic forks.

"Is everything alright Ziva?" The remote made quick work of shutting off the TV as he turned all of his focus to her.

"Tim don't do that." She put her food down as she stood to leave the room.

"Ziva" He followed her into the kitchen where she began pulling plates from the cabinet. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not upset." She offered as she moved to the fridge to grab some bottles of water.

"You sure?" She certainly didn't seem alright to him.

"Why do you do that?" Ziva turned on him quickly. "Why do you bother questioning me if you don't believe the weight of my words?"

"I'm sorry" He offered honestly as he placed his hands over her shoulders, rubbing his thumbs across them softly. "I just…" Her gaze seemed to set every insecurity he had ablaze. "I worry."

"About us?" All she had wanted was to snuggle up with him and dinner and forget about the day but that clearly wasn't an option anymore.

"About me" He was reluctant to share. "I just want to make sure I'm doing all I can… that you know I'm here for you."

And now she felt bad. "Please don't doubt yourself" It was troubling to think he was still uncertain in his role. "I just…" With a sigh she stepped out of his grasp, placing the newly retrieved water bottles on the counter as she crossed the room. "I went to see Gibbs yes," She started, but not before reminding herself that honest communication was vital if she wanted to maintain a healthy relationship with Tim. "But only for a moment to discuss my returning to work tomorrow." She paused for a moment before offering ever so softly, "Before that I was with my support group."

"Zee" She had only spoken a hand full of words but the weight of them hit him hard. "Talk to me."

She shook her head, her hair veiling her face as she ducked her head.

"Ziva," Once more he was by her side. "You know I think the world of you right?" That caught him her gaze and it had him swearing, "That won't change just because you've let me share your troubles."

"It is my burden to bear." She didn't know any other way.

"You don't have to do that alone anymore Ziva." He knew it went against her very nature to express her feelings, years of training telling her to repress them, but he wouldn't stand for that. "I'll help you carry that load."

"It isn't something I can put into words." His gaze was pleading though so she tried. "Everything was normal, I had just gotten back from walking Jethro… I wanted to have dinner ready for you… I was getting ready to go grocery shopping" Though her words were forming mere fragmented sentences he listened intently. "I…" She pushed her hair to the side as she glanced at her shoes. "Suddenly I was filled with sorrow." Her voice wavered just a bit, but it was more than enough for Tim. Without comment (What could he say?) he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her in what he hoped was a comforting embrace. "The sadness was so overwhelming Tim, I didn't think it would ever go away." And that scared her.

"You did the right thing by going to your group." Tim assured as he placed a kiss to the top of her head, her face buried in his shirt. "I'm proud of you."

"I just don't understand how my mood could've changed so unfoundedly." It unnerved her.

"Are you sure it was unfounded?" He had been through enough therapy himself to know that things weren't always as they seemed.

"Tim all I did was put away Jethro's leash." She took a step back as she gave a tired sigh. If he thought that would upset her than one of them was surely going crazy.

"Do it again." He suggested as he stepped to the side.

"Put away the leash that has already been put away?" Her brow couldn't get any more knitted; he was nuts.

Soon Tim was crossing the kitchen to grab his dog's leash off the hook on the wall. "Will you humor me?" He asked as he reclaimed his spot by her side.

She didn't say a word as she took the leash from his grasp. Nor did she think twice about heading back over to the hook on the wall. When she got there though she paused.

"Ziva?" Something wasn't right, and it had him back at her side.

"It is funny the things that can remain unnoticed if one wishes not to see them."

"Zee, what is it?" Her voice was reaching a hollow point and it left him anxious.

"A reminder." She reached out to trace one of the squares on the calendar that was hanging just beside the hook for the leash. "One that I shouldn't have needed."

For a moment Tim studied the calendar square, the one with today's date, but it didn't take nearly that long to understand. He felt guilty. It had completely slipped his mind… and apparently hers as well.

"It's been eleven months." She voiced unnecessarily.

"Babe" With a deep breath he pushed his guilt to the side. If he didn't get a handle on this soon it was going to spiral out of control.

"It hasn't even been a full year and I'm already forgetting." She shook her head disapprovingly.

"You're not forgetting Ziva."

"No!" She turned on him quickly. "My son died eleven months ago on this very day and… and I didn't spare it a thought."

"It didn't deserve a thought Ziva, it's not his death we need to remember. " The reminders of that were constant. "It's his life we need to focus on."

"He never had a life!" Didn't he understand that she had to focus on his death? Dead was the only way she'd ever known her son.

"Within our hearts he does." Tim all but promised as he took her hand. "Zee his memory deserves to be honored and we can't do that if we're using it to punish ourselves."

"It's been almost a year." She didn't understand how it could seem like yesterday and an eternity ago all at once.

"And when that year comes we're going to celebrate everything Isiah's given us. We are stronger, better people because of him Ziva." He had her gaze, but he couldn't quite read it.

"Sometimes I think about the conversations we used to have." Ziva admitted softly. "We were so hopeful for his future."

"There was no reason not to be." He couldn't help but think back on those conversations. "Those are good memories, talking about his future made us happy, thinking about what he'd be capable of…. Zee planning his future strengthened ours." Tim took her other hand to pull her in. He had to make her see. "It is because of Isiah that we are standing in this very spot today. Babe, we're going to get married and build a wonderful life together and every good time we have, every happy memory we make is going to be thanks to that little boy." He was getting emotional himself, but he held it in check as he wiped a stray tear from Ziva's cheek. "His legacy, it's going to be our love and happiness."

Pride sat heavily in her throat which caused her voice to tremble as she swore, "I don't deserve you."

"You deserve the world." Tim insisted as he placed a kiss to her temple. "And all of the happiness in it."

"I love you" Ziva swore as she wiped away some fresh tears from her face. They weren't out of sadness though; no, they were grateful. If allowed she could've easily lost herself in anger or sorrow, but Timothy hadn't allowed that. Instead he reminded her to look past the pain and to how great of a gift her son had been. He reminded her that though Isiah's existence had been a short one it still mattered, there was still meaning behind it, and for that she easily declared, "I really do Tim."

"I know" He whispered as he leaned in and brushed his lips over hers. Soon he moved to pull back but her hand on the back of his neck kept him close. "I love you" She repeated once more before kissing him again. There was a sudden urgency to make sure he knew just how much she did care. "Just" Tim barely breathed as he pulled back some. They were still nearly nose to nose as he leaned his forehead against hers though. "Never stop saying it."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"So" Charlotte turned her head from the TV where end credits were rolling. "What about William?"

"The main character?" Tony spoke in confusion as he looked down to Charlotte who was lying against his chest. "What about him?"

"Not the character," Charlotte denied as she sat up. "The name."

Tony shrugged, but it was with a scrunched nose.

"Well we've got to name the kid something." She spoke in sudden panic. They had somehow managed to repeatedly circle their way around the topic which left them with no name and no time.

"Well," Tony straightened up. Her pout was as priceless as her ponytail. "Don't worry… we'll get it figured."

"We should have done this earlier." Her anxiety nearly began to bubble over as she thought about her son and how he was nearly ready to be born but still very much nameless.

"Babe" Tony placed a hand on her thigh to ease her mind. "Calm down. We'll find him a name."

"I don't even know where to start." Lord she sucked at this whole pregnancy shebang.

"Well," Tony moved from the couch and over to the entertainment center. "How about" With a book newly retrieved from the top of the stand he made his way back to the couch. "We start with A."

"This is why I like you." Charlotte smiled as she took the book of, '1001 Baby Names' from him. Just holding it began to sooth her. "You get me."

"I try" Tony offered seriously as he gave her a soft kiss. Coming from her that meant a lot seeing as she was currently his rock, but, as he was coming to learn, that didn't mean that he couldn't help her to keep steady too. "And…" He paused a moment to brush some hair (and jeez was it messy) from her face. "I like you too."

Charlotte simply smiled as she opened the book. They would make it there yet.

"Let's see" Tony peered over to the book but with only a few names read he was sighing, "Oh Lord" as Charlotte swore, "What in the world is an Aadi?" Things were about to get interesting.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"We should bring the rest of your things over." Ziva barely offered as she drew a lazy pattern across his chest.

"You want me to move in completely?" Tim looked down to where she was curled beside him on the bed.

"Tim" The surprise in his voice amused her. "We are to be married soon. I don't know this for certain, but I think marriage would work best if we were living together."

"I know that" Her mockery did not amuse him. Well not enough to admit it. "I just meant if you were sure about doing that now?"

"Can you think of a better time?" Ziva questioned as she rolled to her stomach to better face him.

He shook his head as he curled his fingers around hers. A thought coming to mind as he thumbed her bare ring finger. "How are we going to tell them?"

"I do not know" She sighed as she too turned her attention to her hand. They had agreed that she shouldn't wear her ring until they announced their engagement formally so in her top drawer it sat. "Perhaps a dinner."

"Rotation doesn't give us a free weekend for two weeks." Tim informed to which Ziva reminded, "The baby is due about then."

"We'll figure something out." He assured as he soothed the skin of her lower back. They just had to find a time that wouldn't be overly emotional or tackily take attention away from the baby's arrival.

"How do you think they'll respond?" She didn't want to be, but she was worried.

"I hope they'll be happy for us" Tim offered optimistically. "But I honestly don't know."

"They'll question it." Of this she was certain. She just didn't know if it would be done in front of her or amongst themselves.

"Of course they will." He was actually curious of what they might say. "Ziva we never even told them we were dating."

"We haven't been dating very long." She both excused and reminded.

"Long enough" Tim offered undoubtedly.

"You sound certain." He couldn't have said the sky was blue with any more certainty and it made her smile.

"I would have asked you to marry me on date two if I could've and I'm serious." He knew he loved her, had for years, and no amount of time would change that.

She shook her head in amusement. "I would have told myself you were insane."

"Yet here you are." Softly he ran a thumb across her cheek.

"Perhaps I am the crazy one." She proposed as she slithered back into his side, lying her head on his shoulder.

"Or maybe we were just meant to be." Tim suggested as he settled further into their blankets, a few fingers absently smoothing over Ziva's hair as he rubbed her scalp.

She simply sighed in contentment as she agreed, "It was meant to be."

How's that for an update ;)