The fateful day. The day Freeza shall destroy Planet Vegeta,
at least according to King Bardock's prophecy. Right now,
outside of the capital, Saiyans have gathered.
As Freeza's ship approaches, Bardock explains his plan
to his subjects: '...and, lastly, you, Hanasia, will penetrate
the ship's shields. Are you capable of doing it?'
'Hah,' the king's lover swaggers. 'Should Sword Art Online
have ended after Season 1?'
Awkward silence and sweatdrops of confusion.
'That meant yes,' Hanasia sighs.
'Oh, I thought it meant no,' a nameless Saiyan says,
thus implying the authors were right to continue
Sword Art Online past Season 1.
'Oh, please,' Hanasia scoffs and, for the following
minutes, explains why the last episode of Season 1
was the perfect ending, stressing the romantic 'happily
ever after' between Kirito and Asuna.
'So, did everybody understand why the series should
have ended after Season 1?' she finally asks.
'Sorry, nobody was listening to you,' another nameless
Saiyan says. 'Everybody was staring at your boobs.'
'Fuck you all,' the woman mumbles and soars into outer
space, heading to Freeza's spaceship.
'...and that's why I think Zlatan Ibrahimovic is better
than Lionel Messi,' Dodoria says to Freeza and Zarbon,
who are gazing outside of the window. They turn to
him.
'Did you just say something?' Freeza asks, blinking.
Dodoria laughs awkwardly, trying to hide his annoyance.
'Now go and eliminate the intruder who just entered the
spaceship,' Freeza orders, noticing the beeping alert.
In one of the ship's corridors, Dodoria and Hanasia
meet.
'So you're a Saiyan?' the pink fatso rhetorically asks.
'Yeah. A fan?'
'Not really. But I'm glad I have this chance to let off
some steam. I'm really annoyed that nobody ever
listens to me when I talk.'
'You too?' Hanasia exclaims. 'I have the same problem!'
'Finally! Somebody understands me,' Dodo cries
cheerfully.
'Where have you been all my life?' Hanasia cries.
The two warriors exchange silent looks for a while,
erotic music coming out of nowhere.
'Err, I guess I have to kill you now,' Freeza's henchman
breaks the silence.
'Err, yeah, I guess I have to kill you too,' the female
Saiyan says.
'No hard feelings, okay?' Dodo asks.
'Of course not,' Hanasia answers with compassion.
The two warriors engage into combat while still casually
chatting.
'So, are you male or female?' Hanasia asks as she
charges and delivers a punch.
'Dunno,' Dodoria shrugs, taking the punch without
flinching. 'Depends on the dub, I guess.'
Then he punches her, thus hurling her away.
'Cristiano Ronaldo or Messi?' Hanasia asks as she
charges again.
'Neither,' Dodo grabs her by the shoulders, thus
immobilizing her. 'Ibrahimovic is the best player of his
generation.'
'What?' Hanasia squeals in disapproval. 'Are you nuts?'
And, with these words, she angrily transforms into
Oozaru, thus breaking the ship.
Then, all giant apes outside fire their mouth blasts
simultaneously and kill Freeza.
And so, Freeza's empire was replaced by Saiyans'
empire. For some reason, Coola and Cold were okay
with that. And so, they lived happily ever after. (Well,
the Saiyans lived happily ever after. The enslaved
races, not so much.)
Now go and jack off to Hanasia till the next time I
update.