I do not own the Fate Series or Lupin the Third.
"You idiot!" Zenigata shouted at the Fuyuki National Bank manager, a large balding man with coke-bottle glasses that shielded his eyes in a suit and trying his best to shrink into his chair. "Why the hell did you send out this flyer!?"
He pointed at the accusing ad for the bank. An ad that promised complete protection from the likes of Lupin.
In Zenigata's opinion, it was like painting a target on the bank itself.
"C-Come now, Inspector!" The manager squeaked out, trying to pull his lips up for a smile but was too terrified of the shouting man in front of him to manage it. "I-It's just an ad! Something to assure our current clients and to perhaps bring in others! There's nothing wrong with that. It's simply business tactics."
"Terrible business tactics you mean! Are you telling me that you never once thought that you might catch Lupin's attention?" Zenigata asked, only for the man to shake his head furiously.
"Of course not! We are a simple bank. In spite of how the ad may appear, we're not trying to provoke anyone! After all, why would a copycat of a notorious thief focus his attention on us?"
Despite the claim, Zenigata could see the little beads of sweat begin to roll down the man's forehead. He was obviously trying to cover his own ass.
"All you did was succeed in making your bank a big juicy target for Lupin!" Zenigata shouted, taking Lupin's warning out from his pocket and showing it to the manager. "Look! He made this last night and delivered it to the station!"
Zenigata felt some vindication when he saw the color drain from the portly manager's face as he read it. "B-But I..."
"And Lupin's M.O is ALWAYS to fulfill his declarations." Zenigata informed the man glumly, having deflated somewhat and now seemed more resigned than anything. He was simply reciting what he knew was fact now. "He'll be coming, be it today or tomorrow."
"P-Please!" The man begged, grabbing Zenigata by his coat with shaky hands. "Y-You and your men must help us! You need to help catch this ruffian before he makes off with our clients' money!"
"Relax." Zenigata took off the man's hands from his jacket. Last thing he wanted was for the guy's sweat to get on it. "I am an expert in everything that deals with Lupin. We'll get him this time. I just need you follow all of my instructions to the letter."
"O-Of course..."
"Inspector," Daisuke called out to Zenigata as he opened the door to the manager's office and poked his head in. "I need to talk to you for a bit."
Zenigata nodded and walked out of the room, leaving the manager to fester in his worry alone. As he closed the door behind him, he looked to see Daisuke with a file in his hands. "What is it?"
"I was looking at the list of people who have money in this bank." Daisuke stated as he handed the folder over to Zenigata. "And I found three accounts that have a huge amount in them, and are actually linked to other banks as well."
Zenigata flipped through the pages himself. No names really stood out.
Save through the three that Daisuke mentioned.
Einzbern, Tohsaka, and Matou.
"All three of them in the same bank?" Zenigata thought in surprise. It made sense since this was a local bank, so he supposed it shouldn't have been that much of a coincidence. "Is this why Lupin is targeting the bank?"
"I think it should be reasonable that Lupin would be targeting their accounts specifically." Once again, Zenigata was glad that Daisuke was attentive to this kind of information. "And if he does..."
"Then our hunch about him being in conflict with them will be confirmed." A grin spread across Zenigata's face. "Alright, get a group of fifteen officers or so down here and the blueprints for the bank. Also tell someone to get the contents of my bag in my office, I've got something to make sure that Lupin doesn't get the drop on us this time!"
Lupin would come today.
He could feel it in his bones.
xxXXxx
Kirei looked from side to side in the alley he was standing in, dressed in a white uniform and white cap. It was an outfit that would stand out in a normal crowd, which was probably why no self-respecting truck driver wore it in public.
"I understand Assassin's plan required me to come here..." Kirei thought as he looked at the truck behind him. It looked fairly ordinary, and large enough to fit a car within its trailer. On its sides was a cartoon of a grinning monkey snapping its fingers labeled 'Monkey Shipping'.
While it was a well-known shipping company, Kirei could tell Assassin was being very tongue and cheek about all this.
"Though I shouldn't be surprised. Assassin probably thinks of bank robberies as nothing more than amusing projects."
Kirei frowned as he went back to the truck. If this was only a small project for Assassin, what did it mean to him? Kirei still had trouble understanding why he was going along with this. After all, he and Assassin needed to be more involved with the War. Possibly doing more reconnaissance for Tokiomi or even eliminating one of the enemy Servants.
Instead he was here helping his Servant with another heist.
"But I must do this to understand myself." Kirei thought as he opened the trailer to see several items. A yellow Mercedes SSK, a small piece of paper, a flashlight-sized grey tube with a red dial on its side, and a white long tube that was attached to the strange plastic that covered all the walls of the trailer, each having at least several inches of air between the plastic and the metal walls. "I found joy in punishing those who deserved just punishment... and if I experience that same joy again by helping Assassin once more... then I can perhaps find a better path. A better method in order to find what brings me joy."
Kirei unfolded the paper. It had very specific instructions and calculations, which honestly shouldn't have surprised Kirei. A thief like Assassin surely must have been a genius with mathematics for heists. As per the first instructions, Kirei grabbed the silver tube and walked ten feet away from the truck. He then turned the dial to the number three and pointed it to the ground before pressing the dial down. In an instant, Kirei noticed a red dot on the ground before the concrete melted away.
It was a military grade laser. Most likely experimental.
Not letting his surprise deter his focus, Kirei then moved the laser until it created a perfect five-inch circle. He then shut the laser off, and set it to the side. Kirei then pressed down on the circle in the concrete, and it fell down with a satisfying clink to confirm that it had landed on something.
Kirei looked back at his instructions before staring at the white tube within the van. Bringing it out, he then shimmied it down the hole, holding it at an angle so that it went right. Kirei did this for around twenty minutes before stopping thanks to running out of tube.
Kirei looked into the sky, wondering if Assassin was proceeding with his part of the plan.
xxXXxx
A security guard with black hair yawned as he stood by the computer, absentmindedly clicking the mouse to the computer he was looking at.
"Hey! Don't fall asleep on the job!" Zenigata barked, making the guard straighten up.
"S-Sorry!" The guard yelped nervously only for Zenigata to narrow his eyes.
"What's your name?"
"K-Kirito. Kaneki Kirito. I've been working here for a few months and..."
"Relax son." Zenigata informed the guard as he reached into his coat. "I just want to make sure of something. If you are who you say you are, then you have nothing to be worried about." Zenigata then revealed a giant face-shaped suction cup on a handle with a black button on the side.
An invention of his own creation.
Before the guard could protest, Zenigata placed the device over his face. A sucking sound was heard and muffled protests for several seconds before Zenigata pressed the button again. Zenigata then pulled off the device, showing one disheveled looking guard.
Zenigata grinned in victory. "Thank you for your cooperation!"
Daisuke looked at Zenigata with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure that thing actually works? It basically looks like a glorified vacuum cleaner."
The inspector simply placed said invention back into his coat. "Lupin was always a slippery bastard. He disguised himself as one of my own men, even me sometimes, enough in the past for me to come up with a couple countermeasures. The reason I use this is because he used special latex masks and a particular type of spirit gum from Africa to keep them in place." Zenigata patted his pocket to indicate back to the device. "What makes the gadget so special is that it was made to suck off the mask in a particular way so that the spirit gum comes right off and that weasel is caught like a kid with his hands in a cookie jar."
"But would... Lupin..." Daisuke said carefully, not wishing to agitate the inspector like the other man had. "Really have access to such exotic materials over here? It's not like he could have left Japan within a few days without anyone knowing."
"With that bastard, who knows? But I don't take any chances." Zenigata grumbled as he looked to his left. The bank vault was wide open, a line of six officers in front of it staring calmly back at him. He had used his gadget on all the men as they entered the bank, and none of them were allowed to leave the facility just in case Lupin tried to jump them. Not only that, but he had half of the force already outside, in their squad cars and ready to move at a moment's notice in case Lupin made a break for it. The men stationed outside were ordered to remain outside to minimize the risk of Lupin breaching security. Zenigata had told each of his men, once he had been assured of their identity, that any man who tried to enter the building they would assume to be Lupin.
Right now it was just Zenigata himself, Daisuke, fifteen officers within the bank itself, the normal banking staff, and four guards. They were to maintain radio silence throughout the operation with only Zenigata allowed to vocalize any order and none of the media had gotten wind of what was going on. This meant that they wouldn't have to waste time worrying about nosy reporters poking their heads in the middle of their operation trying to get the latest words on this new "copycat" of Lupin's latest activities.
Last time there was a failure because of a lack of organization. This time, Zenigata had taken extra precautionary measures to make sure nothing of the sort would happen again.
"Well either way, this whole operation might work out for the best." Daisuke pointed to the steel vault. "That thing snaps shut whenever someone enters inside thanks to special weight sensors under the floor boards. Not only that, the air is funneled from several pipes that are spread at several locations so that if someone tried to steal from the place, they would have nowhere to go."
"Pretty secure for a small town bank."
"Probably received several generous donations." Daisuke responded with a shrug. "Either way, it makes it a very hard operation for a thief to try and pull off successfully."
"The harder the challenge, the more tempting the bait. That's how Lupin will see it." Zenigata's eyes scanned the bank once more. "And even with all our precautions... for all we know that weasel's probably in here with us already."
"Oh, you have no idea pops..."
The guard that Zenigata had just harassed smirked ever so slightly as his hand touched his 'face', moving it ever so slightly up as the left cheek sagged down a bit.
The guard was, of course, Assassin in disguise.
The real Kaneki Kirito was currently taking a nice nap on a toilet within the bank's bathroom stalls.
Crawling through the bathroom window may not have been Assassin's most ingenious ways of getting into a building, but it worked.
Assassin internally chuckled at the old inspector's precautions against him. That little device might have worked back in the day, but now all his disguises were in fact a Noble Phantasm. A magical ability tended to be a lot more powerful than some rare spirit gum he picked up in Istanbul's black market.
Of course, that would have meant squat if Assassin wanted to be captured. But...
...That could wait for a few minutes.
Assassin typed casually on the keyboard, going through the bank's files with ease. Honestly, hacking the mainframe had been so easy that it hurt. Assassin loved a challenge, but computers were just so analytical. So precise and almost no room to improvise. Just a right way of getting in or the wrong way that shut you out.
It was a bit insulting, mundane... boring.
Still, Assassin could take some joy that you could steal things digitally.
Within seconds, Assassin was looking at the Matou, Tohsaka, and Einzbern accounts. It was actually noted that the families wished to keep their money purely physical within the bank.
"Probably like to count it on a rainy day! Either that or bathe in it like... well... like me when I went on a trip in the early days!" Assassin snickered at that. The sixties really were a wild ride for everyone involved. But now wasn't the time to dwell on fond memories.
Assassin focused on the Tohsaka and Matou accounts specifically. Both were linked to several other banks, likely so that they could funnel their accounts to any other banks in the event something... unseemly... happened to the town.
Worked to his advantage.
But Assassin was no fool. He knew that as soon as he began draining these accounts, funneling the money to his many banks under various aliases across the world, the bank would be alerted. Zenigata would figure out where exactly he was, and react within only seconds.
"Oh no, what should I do?" Assassin sarcastically asked himself. "Am I goin' to make two Magi families completely broke and ruin a bank's reputation? Surely I'm not that heartless! Perhaps... perhaps I should leave well enough alone..." Assassin grinned before pressing the enter button. "Naaaah!"
As the screen showed a progress bar that said 'transferring', what happened next occurred within the span of a few seconds.
"Inspector!" A bank teller shouted, causing the old man to look at him. "S-Someone's hacked our clients' accounts!"
Assassin simply reclined on his chair and watched the magic happened. The progress was already at twenty-five percent.
"What?" Zenigata and Daisuke rushed over and looked to the man's computer. "How is that possible? Is it an outside job?"
"N-No! Someone would have to do it inside of the bank itself!"
"And these accounts... they are of the Tohsaka and Matou's... Not so much focus on the Einzbern one though..." Zenigata muttered to himself with narrowed eyes.
Fifty percent complete...
"Can you track down what computer is doing this?"
"Yes, I just need a few minutes..." The bank teller's fingers glided across his computer keyboard.
Seventy-five percent...
"It's within this room!" The man declared with widened eyes. "In fact, it's right..." The teller then slowly looked over to Assassin, horror dawning on his face. "...Over there."
Zenigata, Daisuke, and the officers then looked towards Assassin in shock.
Assassin watched as the status reached a hundred percent before shrugging. "Aw man, ya got me partner." Assassin then ripped off his mask, revealing his grinning face.
"ARREST HIM!" Daisuke shouted as he pointed to Assassin, and in an instant all the guards rushed towards Assassin, jumping up to tackle him.
"No, wait!"
Zenigata's protests came too late, the cops formed a massive dog pile on top of Assassin, shouting and moving around.
"You idiots! You're doing what he wants!" Zenigata's eyes then flashed towards the bank, where an unscathed and untouched Assassin was attempting to tip-toe inside. "Oh no you don't!"
Zenigata then reached into his coat and threw two pairs of handcuffs, a rope attached to one while the other was free and open. The one not attached to a rope cuffed Assassin's ankled together while the other attached to Assassin's right wrist, with Zenigata clutching the rope with a triumphant smirk.
"Gah! Get me out of this Pops!" Assassin shouted as he fell back, tears coming out of his eyes. "This could be some secret code like I wanna get spanked by a skinhead or somethin'!"
"Shut up ya little punk!" Zenigata shouted as he began to pull, making Assassin's body inch towards him. "You screwed up big time Lupin, and now I got you!"
"Ya see, that's the problem. I like to talk. Keeps ya distracted." Assassin then clicked the heels of his shoes twice, and fire came out of it propelling Assassin through the bank vault.
"WAAAAHHHH!" Zenigata shouted as he was brought along for the ride thanks to holding the rope. But as Assassin passed the vault door, it slammed shut.
...causing Zenigata to crash into it face first and let go of the rope.
"Inspector! Are you alright!?"
"I'm fine!" Zenigata groaned as he got up and pointed to the door. "Just get that thing open!
"It'll take a few minutes!"
"Then get every officer in this damn building over here so that we can corner him!"
Despite Assassin not hearing a word of what was being said outside, he could guess that was what Zenigata was saying. "Never change old man." Assassin chuckled to himself as he uncuffed his wrist and ankles. He could guess that he only had at most five minutes before the safe opened.
Plenty of time. Assassin skipped over to an air vent on the top wall, where a white tube stuck out. Assassin had gotten the bank's blueprints earlier in the morning, including the location where its 'air pipes' went. Having Kirei open a tiny hole to insert the tube in was child's play. It was a simple solution to getting the goods out.
Assassin pulled on it twice before a sucking sound came from the end. He then ran to three carts with piles of yen on top labeled Matou, Tohsaka, and Einzbern.
Assassin then proceeded to suck that money up with a grin, even laughing a bit as he did so. When everything was sent up the tube, Assassin pulled on it twice again before it was taken out of his hands and brought up the air vent, as if it was never there in the first place.
That's when the vault door was finally opened again.
With fifteen officers and Daisuke aiming their guns right at Assassin while Zenigata stood in front with his arms crossed, grinning at him.
"Eh-heh..." Assassin raised his arms and asked, "I surrender?"
"Sure you do." Zenigata's grin grew even wider. "Strip him."
Four officers rushed forward and pinned down Lupin, taking off his clothes despite his protests.
"Gah! Stop! Don't touch me there! At least buy a guy a drink first!"
One officer raised his underwear at Zenigata, who nodded.
"Okay, put those back on."
When they did, Assassin looked displeased at Zenigata while the officers circled around him, their guns still trained on him. "I ain't done with you yet Lupin." Zenigata kneeled down and lifted Assassin's right foot and began cracking his toes.
"Wow, didn't know you were into that Pops."
"Shut up." Zenigata then pulled on the foot, revealing it to be a fairly thin latex cover. He then turned it over, and things such as pins, keys, and little bombs came out. "I've known you for years you punk. I know where you're hiding stuff."
"Oh really?" Assassin asked as Zenigata peeled the fake skin on his wrist, showing the components necessary to make a small radio. "Well then, have you figured out where they are hiding?"
Zenigata glared at Assassin as he pulled off the wig over Assassin's hair, and snuffed out the lit short fuse the disguised bomb had on it. "I may have."
"Well, that's fine and dandy and all, but do you actually know what they are really working for?" Assassin asked with a cheeky grin. "Because if you haven't pieced together somethin', then that means you're slippin' in your old age."
Zenigata frowned at that. Was Lupin saying that both the families and Owls are working towards the same thing? The Holy Grail? Was there something deeper to that supposed treasure?
"Well, I'm sure you can tell me all about what they want at the station." Zenigata then ripped off the fake right ear on Assassin's face, but looked curiously at a small clear, shaking cube. "What's this?"
"Be careful with that!" Assassin shouted in fear as he attempted to scoot back. "That's a special condensed gas! Highly explosive! I made it just for emergencies!"
"Condensed gas?"
"If it makes contact with anythin' hard, it'll make this whole room go boom!"
Zenigata narrowed his eyes. This was probably a ploy Lupin made to escape! "Yeah right, you little weasel!" He then threw the fake ear and cube over his shoulder. "Cuff him boys! And make sure to cuff every single li-!"
A loud explosion was heard, and smoke filled the entire room. Zenigata coughed and blinked as he looked down to find Assassin gone.
Not only that, but his back and even his ass felt pretty breezy.
"Son of a bitch..." Zenigata groaned as he held onto the front of his pants and backed to a wall, hoping that nothing would fall off. "That bastard was actually telling the truth!"
Assassin then ran out and burst through the bank's front doors, tugging his pants up with his jacket clenched between his teeth while he attempted to put on his shirt with one hand. Several officers did a double take as Assassin jumped on a motorcycle before driving away.
"What are you people waiting for!?" Daisuke shouted as he ran outside, using his shirt as a makeshift belt and pointed towards Assassin. "Get him damn it!"
Snapping into action, the cars then drove out of their parking spaces and zoomed behind Assassin as he steered the bike with his knees while putting on his jacket. When he was done, he put his hands on the handles and looked over his shoulder. He grinned, then flicked his wrist to show a small remote before pressing a red button.
Suddenly, all the cars spun out of control. The officers within screamed as they crashed, and some cars' tires simply popped out and made the cars skid onto the road.
Then, as if on cue, all the hoods of the cars opened to reveal a paper with a grinning cartoon of Assassin with the message "Pay attention to the road!"
From where he stood trying to keep his pants up, Zenigata still managed to raise his fist and shout one man's name angrily.
"LUUUUUPPPPIIIIINNNNN!"
xxXXxx
"So, are you absolutely sure you have not seen anything unusual tonight, sir?" A police officer asked Kirei with a raised eyebrow, the truck parked at the side of the road with a green car just behind it.
With their squad cars destroyed, it was reasonable to assume that all of the officers were now forced to use their regular cars to travel and perform their duties.
Kirei himself remained completely calm. The presence of a police officer didn't unnerve him like it would some people. After all, no ordinary man could even make him remotely nervous.
"Yes." Kirei confirmed with a short nod of his head. "I have simply been going my normal route officer. Nothing more."
"Well, we can't take any chances with that copycat out there." The officer replied with a simple shrug of his shoulders. "We're to check all vehicles within the town just in case he's trying to get out of here."
"I see." Kirei could see that the officer was now narrowing his eyes. Kirei could not help but wonder if it was perhaps his voice. It was a bit disarming for those who did not know him. His teacher had told him he could sound condescending even when he was trying to be…
"Well, before you go on your way, can you open your trailer?" The officer asked as he looked to the back. "Just to be sure."
Kirei did not blink. "Go ahead." As the officer walked to the back to inspect the inside of the car, Kirei's mind raced as he thought of what he would do if the man discovered Assassin.
Given how little time he had to think, he could only come up with a more immediate solution.
"It's quite simple. It requires no thought. If Assassin is discovered, then I will have to kill him."
Kirei reached into his pocket, fingering his Black Keys, waiting for the shouts of surprise and the barking of orders.
Then Kirei blinked in surprise when the officer returned, a smile on his face. "Thank you for your cooperation sir! Sorry for the trouble and have a nice day." With that, the man walked away before getting in his car and driving off.
Why? Why would he do that? Confused, Kirei got out of the driver's seat and walked to the trailer.
It was open, and he saw an empty trailer.
"TADAH!" Like a curtain, the 'empty trailer' disappeared, pushed to the side like a curtain to reveal a grinning Assassin. Kirei blinked even more as he looked behind Assassin. The walls of the trailer were now lined with money, which Kirei was still impressed by. The tube had actually been a vacuum, and had lined the cash quickly. When Kirei had finished putting back the tube, he had waited in the driver's seat as instructed before Assassin had driven to the truck and after signaling him (With a peace sign at that) he closed the door and Kirei had driven out.
Kirei knew that Assassin could be very organized and precise at times with his plans. He just never expected... this.
"Like it? It's a tarp I made just for this occasion!" Assassin laughed before pointing to his eyes. "Optical illusion! They can sure make a guy's mind go for a trip!"
"Very impressive." Kirei replied without any emotion. In reality, it was just a completely practical tactic. All it relied on was the officer taking what he saw for face value.
"If he didn't fall for it you would have killed him, huh?"
Kirei looked back at Assassin, who was now seated in the Mercedes staring at Kirei with curious eyes.
Well, if there was one thing Kirei learned after spending so much time with the thief, it was that there was no point in lying to the man. The Servant could read him with surprising ease.
"It would have been necessary. He would have reported us to the authorities and..."
"And who cares? We still got to have an entertainin' heist!" Assassin declared with a chuckle. "That's all that matters right!"
Kirei frowned. True, he did feel some satisfaction from making that arrogant bank manager suffer for his unrealistic boasts. But... "It does not feel the same."
"Well, it'll feel a bit different when I tell you who I stole it from!" Assassin said with a playful tone.
Kirei frowned. Who would Assassin specifically target and steal from? Realization dawned on Kirei's face. "You stole from the three families."
"Yup!"
"Why?"
"Come on Kirei, why not?" Assassin asked as he reclined a bit on the chair. "The Einzberns are a bunch of sticks in the muds, and the Matou's won't need their money anytime soon."
"What of my teacher? What purpose do you have with stealing from him?"
"Do you even need to ask?" Assassin was speaking as if he were giving a simple explanation to a child. "He gave away his kid to the Matou's. That's gotta get some kinda punishment don't ya think?"
"The life of a Magi is not one easily understood by people like us. They do have different priorities and morals, after all." Kirei pointed out.
Even he was not truly clean. His true nature was the lead example.
"But what happened still makes him in the wrong, no?" Assassin asked with a grin. "So it counts! Besides... what do you feel when you imagine his face once he gets the news?"
Quire only took a second to visualize it. The rage, the disbelief, the shock... imagining Tokiomi's mouth agape and his eyes shaking ever so slightly… imagining Tokiomi openly displaying that rare expression of confusion and outrage he wore in response to being fooled and bested. To see such despair from a man who gave away his own flesh and blood...
"There's a smile!" Kirei covered his own mouth as the Mercedes started up, and Kirei stepped to the side as a ramp came down from the end of the trailer. "No need to hide it Kirei. It's perfectly natural response to the completion of a good heist! And with the joy of completing a great heist comes a great celebration!" Assassin then rolled the car down the ramp and onto the road. "I'm goin' to go and get the good stuff! Go back to the hideout to wait for me so that we can have a real celebration!"
The Servant then laughed as he drove out, leaving Kirei alone to stew in his own thoughts.
Was it true? Did it truly not matter if he felt joy through this method? Even if the victim was his own teacher?
"Perhaps... Perhaps this is a correct path?" Kirei thought to himself.
Still... it might be safe if he were to still meet Kiritsugu. Just in case...
Kirei then looked back at the truck and sighed.
Now what he was going to do with this thing?
xxXXxx
"Sexy~! Adventure~!" Assassin sung out as he sped down the road going up one of the hills surrounding Fuyuki, his laughs and the song on the radio filling the night air at the completion of another successful heist.
Assassin had to admit that it was great getting the blood pumping again. Even if the heist was on a bank, which was usually for Assassin supposed to be a mob bank, it had fulfilled its purpose. He just hoped that Kirei was going back to the hideout so that he would be sitting down when he got the surprise.
The sound of slicing wind rang in Assassin's ears, causing him to blink. Just what was that?
His eyes then widened as the sound got closer. Not hesitating, he swerved the Mercedes to the left side, and saw the flash of metal before it exploded the area of the road Assassin was previously on.
"Woah!"
Assassin then swerved to the right as a golden mallet hit the very back of the Mercedes, causing the car to be launched a few feet into the air before landing on the ground again.
Assassin did not stop. He could already tell that if he were to stop it would mean death.
Assassin looked over his shoulder to see flying behind him in the air was what looked like a golden boat with green fin-like wings on its sides, and seated in a chair on top was none other than Archer.
His face was a serene calm, with his hands on the arm rests.
"Vimana." Assassin identified the vehicle, the flying chariot recorded within the Ramayana and Mahabharata. It could fly at impossible speeds and make turns within seconds.
Not very good odds all things considered.
"Well now..." Assassin began with a raised eyebrow. "What are you doin' here, Goldie?"
"It should be obvious, Mongrel." Archer replied as golden portals opened behind his craft, swords, axes, hammers, and spears of all kinds appearing. "I'm here to kill you."
Without another word, several swords launched out of their respective portals. Seeing a sharp curve coming, Assassin turned his car, drifting across the road so that he could avoid the swords but got a front row seat as the swords embedded themselves into the ground.
"Careful Goldie! You might hurt someone with that!"
Rather than getting an indignant response form the prideful hero, Archer responded by launching another volley of weapons. Assassin clicked his tongue as he pulled a leaver next to the stick shift, making the wheels of the car bounce up and begin spinning.
"Wah-wah-wah!" Assassin screamed before the tires on the left side made contact with the road guard on the edge of the hill. Leaning only a bit to the left, Assassin continued to press on the gas to go with the guard. Archer continued to fire at Assassin, weapons tearing through air at inhuman speeds with Assassin only barely avoiding being hit.
It was strange. Archer was not responding to his taunts like before. Glancing back to get a glimpse at the other Servant's expression, Assassin could only come to one conclusion.
"He's serious." Assassin thought as he leaned more heavily to the right, causing the Mercedes to go back onto the road. Archer was not boasting, he was not bragging about his own glory. None of what Assassin recognized was the King of Heroes' personality was apparent. Instead it was the cold, metallic desire to kill. Archer wanted to kill Assassin, and nothing else mattered.
Knowing this, Assassin smirked.
"Perfect."
Assassin then grinned as he shouted, "Goin' up!" With that, he turned his Mercedes to the hill itself, driving along the side. Dust followed his tires as Assassin went up, Swerving more and more upward as Archer continued to fire at it with numerous swords
"Skorfnung, Zulfiqar, Sharur, Hrotti..."
Assassin listed the names of the weapons thrown at him internally, feeling pain in his heart at the fact he could not steal them. When his Mercedes reached the top of the hill, Assassin made a sharp turn into the forest of trees.
Archer frowned as he heard the shouts Assassin made from within.
"Woah! Out of the way! Bird! Ew! Gang way!"
"Do you really believe that you can escape me?" Vimana went upwards over the forrest, turned backwards, and flew back to that it was now hovering over where Assassin would leave, facing towards the cliff. "You should know better." Archer raised his hand, golden portals appearing above, before bringing it down. Weapons rained downwards, hitting almost every inch of the forest. Trees split and dirt and dust was thrown into the air.
If Assassin attempted to stay any longer in the forest, he would die.
Archer felt some satisfaction as Assassin's car bust from his predictable exit, the thief's face now calm as the car went down the hill and back onto the road. "Running will do you no good." Vimana flew down while the car turned in reverse, Assassin now facing the other Servant.
But rather than saying anything, Assassin's face grew dark while the Mercedes' head lights opened to reveal gun barrels. Bullets rained at Archer while Assassin continued to drive backwards, but none of them hit. Portals filled with shields protected Archer, sparks flying while other bullets scratched Vimana.
But that did not matter.
"Futile."
A sword then shot forward and stabbed the front engine of the car.
"Hm, I missed. That won't happen a second time."
"Grrr..."
Archer raised an eyebrow at the guttural growl that came from Assassin.
"Grrraaarrh..."
Black smoke then began escaping from Assassin's mouth, eyes, ears. His pupils turned bloodshot red, and Archer began to realize something.
"GGRRAAAHHHHH!"
As if dispelling smoke, Assassin's form disappeared to reveal none other than Berserker's dark armor in the driver's seat. The car was also turning pitch black with red lines spreading over the car, glowing and pulsating like veins.
This was not Assassin.
"So you decided to ally yourself with another dog." Archer muttered in distaste, the insult directed at both Assassin and Berserker.
As if to answer, Berserker reached into the backseat and revealed an automatic rifle. As soon as the mad Servant gripped it, the weapon turned into the same color as the car.
"GGGRRAANHHHHH!"
In a guttural scream, the Servant fired more at Archer, who simply continued to block.
"I grow tired of this farce. I will not waste time on this rabid dog and allow you to escape your punishment once more."
Archer meant it. This fight... Assassin's slight against him... this entire Holy Grail War... it was a joke! He was Gilgamesh! King of the magnificent land of Uruk! The slayer of the demi-god Humbaba! Chopper of the Cedar Forest! Rejector of Ishtar! He had met Utnapishtim, the survivor of the great flood, and who saw no need for the 'gift' of immortality!
This Holy Grail War was nothing, NOTHING! Archer refused to be a part of this parody of a legend any longer!
With renewed vigor, Archer's shields were now replaced by swords and other weapons. They fired at once at the car, zooming in at speeds that could rival even bullets.
"GGGGGRRAAAAHHHH!" Letting the Mercedes' force continue to make it go backwards, Berserker jumped on the hood and pulled out the sword stuck in there. With a twist of his body, Berserker blocked the strike of an axe. Before it could fly away, Berserker grabbed it and began parrying the other blades away at inhuman speeds. Sparks flying and weapons embedding themselves into the road and hill.
But it was not enough.
It could never be enough.
A spear went past Berserker's defense, stabbing the Servant through his armor and causing blood to spew out. A sword went through his right pectoral, and an axe destroyed the armor covering his right shoulder.
But Berserker pressed on.
The leaver by the shift gear moved itself, causing the car to bounce upwards. Then, a red button pressed itself on the dashboard.
That's when the trunk opened to reveal a turbine, which blazed to life and shot the vehicle forward.
Archer remained calm and ceased his assault as Berserker's smoke disappeared. A sword appeared before his hands. A sword colored purple and looking so much like Saber's own blade.
"GGGRRRRAAAARRRTHHHURRR!"
Arondight.
The mask fell off as the car crashed into the front of Vimana, revealing a pale face, sunken and maddened eyes, and darkened yet wild purple hair. The knight's entire form had been corrupted by the class he'd been summoned into. Berseker jumped upwards, his arms and Arondight raised over his head as he flew towards Archer.
"DDDIIIIEEEEE!"
Berserker's eyes then widened as he stopped just short of ten feet of Archer, his body restrained by mystical chains coming from golden portals behind him.
"You first." Archer declared as his Gates of Babylon appeared next to him. Axes flew out, chopping Berserker's arms off and spewing blood onto Vimana before Berserker.
"GGYYYAAAHHH!"
"I would normally not let a dog's blood spill on my treasures, but you shall be an exception. If nothing more than to relieve stress."
Spears then shot forward, seven stabbing Berserker through the gut and causing an even bigger pool of blood to form before Berserker.
"Heh... Guh..."
"You're a mad dog who allowed himself to become another dog's pet. I cannot even feel the slightest bit of satisfaction in your death." Archer commented as Enkidu dropped Berserker, the Servant too injured to do anything. Vimana stopped, Fuyuki City glittering to the right of them. "But you have served a sufficient test subject for what I shall do to the mongrel when I find him."
"A-Arthur... Arthur... Forgive... Me... Kill... Me..."
"So your madness is fading. At least now you can have full comprehension of your folly." Archer then got to his feet and stopped short of the Servant before raising his right foot. "Now get off my treasure, dog."
Archer kicked Berserker on the right of his head, the Servant's body being shot to the left as if a landed onto the ground, creating a crater. His body did not move, and within seconds it dissipated into purple specs of light that floated upwards.
Berserker, Lancelot of the Lake, greatest knight in service to King Arthur and also the king's greatest traitor, was now dead.
Archer looked coldly at the remains of Berserker scattering in the wind, feeling not even a fraction satisfied with the mad warrior's death. Berserker was only a distraction, a pawn used by Assassin to get him off his scent.
"Do you truly believe that I would let you be after this?" Archer said loudly as he returned to his seat. Vimana flapped its wings, causing a gust of wind that quickly dispersed the remaining specs of light without ceremony. "You will not escape me this time, worm."
"I guess I won't."
Archer's lips twitched upward when he heard the mongrel's voice. His vehicle turned, back to the city and facing the forest where the mongrel had initially tried to escape to. There he was, standing right near the edge of the forest not a few meters away, a lit cigarette in his mouth. Looks like the thief hadn't remained as unscathed as he had in their previous encounters. The dog was gripping his arm, and he could see the blood on his clothes. Archer reclined in his seat, relishing this moment.
"As I said, dog, you will not escape me again. The time for your death has come."
Assassin smirked, merely shrugging in response to Archer threat.
"Well, it's not like I need to escape this time."
Archer would have responded to the thief's bravado had he not been interrupted. Suddenly, there was the familiar sound of breaking bone and fleshing being torn. Archer heard it, and while it sounded loud to his ears, he suddenly found that he couldn't speak. He felt his eyes widen as his vision turned red and the scent of blood tickled his nostrils, though it wasn't the mongrel's blood. It was his blood.
He'd been shot.
Archer struggled and convulsed on his throne, trying to get to his feet. He could feel his limbs beginning to drag, his body wouldn't respond to his demands, and his head began screaming with pain. Even with his grievous injury, he refused to die. He was a hero who had been more god than man, who had been a cruel king that battled his equal when corrupt, had formed a friendship with his opponent that transcended legend, that had slayed the Bull of Heaven and dared to face the gods, who had despaired in the face of the death of his dear friend, who had met the man who had survived the great flood, and who had learned what it truly meant to be immortal...
Even as his bloodstained vision began to get dark and blurry, he refused to die. He couldn't, not when he had yet to punish that damn mongrel for his humiliation…
Archer finally got to his feet, struggling with himself as golden portals of light opened behind him.
"Enkidu..."
He didn't even know why he spoke the name of his dear friend in a whisper.
A second bullet punched through the back of the Servant Archer's head.
For a brief second, the man froze...
…Then his body crumpled.
His body fell off Vimana, onto the cold, dirty street. His body glowed an inhuman and holy light before he, and his grand vehicle, disappeared in golden specs of light into the unforgiving night.
...The hero king, the first hero, the King of Heroes, Gilgamesh, was dead.
Assassin watched the Servant fall. He had watched as the first bullet shot through the Servant's forehead and the second end him. Archer truly was a force to be reckoned with. For the first time in a long time, Assassin had felt genuinely afraid when he realized that Archer was serious. He'd appeared calm, though his rage had been a storm and focused on Assassin himself. Nothing else mattered to the King. Assassin had been the only other person in the world in that moment when he seemingly surrendered himself to his fate.
And that's exactly what Assassin had wanted.
You could only poke a bear so many times before it got angry and tore your head off. Assassin had estimated when the prideful King's rage would come full circle, and he needed the man to be focused. Even so, he needed a distraction, someone who could keep the War's most powerful Servant in place long enough for him to spring his trap. Berserker couldn't have fit the job better. Lastly, while Archer's focus was scary, especially when he was the one who had his complete attention, it gave him a window. An opportunity to strike.
Or rather, it would give Assassin's associate the chance to take down the most powerful Servant in the war.
So focused, so serious, so devoted to seeing Assassin's execution through to the end… it had given Archer tunnel vision. Had Archer not been so focused, he might've been able to avoid that first bullet. But Assassin had won once the first bullet struck home. The second confirmed it.
Assassin let out a heavy sigh as he took out the cigarette from his mouth and dropped it on the road.
"That was a little too close for comfort."
Then he put on a smile that stretched from ear to ear.
"But man, what a rush!" Assassin grinned as he tipped an imaginary hat towards where Archer had fallen. "Hat's off to you, Goldie. We had us quite a ride." At that exact moment, he stomped his left foot on the spent cigarette.
After all, he was a man who lived for the thrill.
xxXXxx
Jigen Daisuke lowered his rifle as the body of the legendary hero Gilgamesh disappeared in golden sparkles, disappearing into the night sky. "You son of a bitch, Lupin... it actually worked."
Jigen looked at the third golden bullet, the bullets made from the cursed spear of Gae Buidhe. Lupin stated that he killed the original owner, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, earlier in this bizarre magical death match and stole the spear from him. By stealing the spear, the spear became his to use. Magical curse and all.
Gae Buidhe was the spear that could inflict unhealable wounds, and even if its original owner died its curse still remained.
Even if the form had changed.
"Only you would think of the perfect way to kill someone two-thirds a god." Jigen grumbled as he stood up and set his rifle to the side. He really shouldn't have doubted the guy. When Lupin made a plan, he made especially sure that Jigen and the others wouldn't be harmed in any way. So the odds were probably very high in the favor that the 'Buidhe Bullet' would work.
The same probably couldn't be said for that Matou guy though.
Jigen didn't say anything as he took out a pack of cigarettes and put one in his mouth. He knew better than anyone that Lupin could be a cold son of a bitch at times. Back in the early days, when Lupin was stealing alone and even with the first few years that Jigen and the others began traveling with him, Lupin had been very efficient when it came to dealing with his enemies. He killed without hesitation, he only let those who entertained him live until they caused him too many problems. Not only that, but Lupin also had a much darker and more sadistic sense of humor with things. Yet the most important aspect that Lupin had in the past was to use everything, and in most cases everyone, to his advantage.
Sometimes they were rival mobs to take each other out while they and Lupin stole the goods. Other times it was a rookie spy that was tricked into killing another spy that was much closer to icing Lupin himself.
But over the years, Lupin fell out of that. Maybe Jigen, Goemon, and Fujiko's presence softened him up, or perhaps he saw no reason to take anything even slightly seriously anymore. But either way, his manipulation of people almost ceased to exist unless it was for humorous reasons, a prank within a heist.
Now, it came back.
"If Matou really controlled that knight guy... and that thing died..." Jigen then took out his lighter and lit the cancer stick, taking in a long breath of smoke-filled air. "He's probably dead, or going to die."
Jigen was not a stranger to death. In his line of work, ever since he was a teenager, he personally snuffed out life after life. He had to, because the person he killed wouldn't have hesitated to snuff him out either. Being a bodyguard gave Jigen principles, despite him having to work for scumbags. Never kill unless it was completely necessary. Be absolutely sure that they would kill him before killing them. If they tried to ice his boss, then their lives were in forfeit.
Jigen never knowingly manipulated people to their deaths, or advocated them throwing their lives away for a favor.
Lupin however... that bastard could do it if he wanted.
When Lupin wanted something, he got it.
Even if it meant doing something as dirty as this.
Lupin knew how to use people. And he used them better than anyone Jigen had ever known.
Jigen breathed out the smoke in a sigh. "Damn, now I can't even enjoy my smoke, you bastard..."
Jigen had almost forgotten how empty he felt after killing a man...
xxXXxx
Kariya coughed and hacked out blood, his lungs on fire and his skin peeling as the leftover worms he had screamed and died while tearing through his body. His eyes wandered to his left palm, and despite there being one Command Seal left, Kariya could not feel Berserker anymore.
It was done, his Servant was dead.
It was an ingenious plan... Lancelot of the Lake had disguised himself in his legend a few times. It only took one Command Seal to have Berserker disguise himself as Assassin, and another to follow Assassin's instructions to the letter.
After that, Berserker was unleashed on Archer.
It died of course.
But in the end, the true purpose of the distraction was fulfilled.
"And if Assassin's plan has gone perfectly, then Tohsaka's Servant is dead too." Despite hacking up more blood and bile, Kariya smirked as best he could. "I finally got you, you bastard. I beat you. If only I could see the look on your face right now..."
It was probably one of confusion and despair. Tokiomi was probably wondering what happened that suddenly resulted in his hopes and dreams for this stupid War crashing down in front of him so spectacularly. He was out of the one thing that mattered to him, truly.
Tokiomi lost the thing that was useless to him, and the son of a bitch was probably too prideful to still be happy with what he had.
The coughs ceased, and Kariya weakly set his back against the wall of the alley he was occupying. That's right, Tokiomi had so much he took for granted. Kariya still loved Aoi, but he could see that she loved Tokiomi even if the bastard did nothing to truly deserve her. Kariya could see her beautiful smile, fair skin, silky hair, and feel her warm personality even now at death's door. He also loved Rin, even if she was Tokiomi's daughter. Such a little rambunctious ball of energy, ever inquisitive about things and exploring... Kariya remembered the long hours he spent playing with Rin and Sakura...
Sakura...
"I-I can at least be a little relieved, knowing that you'll be happy..." Kariya thought as a peaceful smile blossomed on his lips. "I'll miss you… I'll miss you all so much..."
Kariya's life hadn't been a happy one, but to him...
...It was a life well lived. He'd accomplished his goal in the end, so he could die satisfied.
Kariya reached into his sweater pocket and took out the Gitanes cigarette Assassin gave him. He placed it in his mouth before taking the lighter and lit it up.
He breathed in some of the smoke, coughing just a bit as the ash burned his already ruined lungs.
"Man, what a stupid time to start..."
Kariya's heavy eyes lifted to see three men dressed in suits with owl masks on their heads. Two of them were aiming their handguns at him.
Kariya only smirked.
"What are you waiting for? I don't have all day."
He didn't care what happened to him anymore. He was already a dead man, and he had no regrets.
The two owl-masked men promptly fired. One bullet in his head, and the other in his heart. When Kariya's body hit the floor, they fired twice in his head again to be sure Kariya was dead.
And he was.
Matou Kariya had left the world when the bullet passed through his brain the first time.
"Quickly now, before the body gets cold." The one without a gun stated while an owl man put away his gun and took out a bowie knife. With one swift motion, the man chopped off Kariya's left hand, Command Seal still on it, before presenting it to the 'leader' of the group. "Excellent." The leader then took it and drew a small seal on the palm of the limb before placing it in a small red cooler by his feet.
"Our master will be very pleased..."
To Be Continued...
xxXXxx
Note: It's good to be back! This chap is hot off the presses and betaed by Kiiam!
Oh man, Gilgamesh can be scary when he's serious! As is Lupin himself! I wanted to highlight both in this chap because honestly, if Gilgamesh took anything seriously every Servant would be dead within a day. And if Lupin didn't plan this out, he would be dead too.
Now for songs... well, the only things I can suggest are the Lupin III OST- Sexy Adventure when Lupin is driving away and during his fight with Archer, and the Fate/Zero OST- The Battle is to the Strong during the fight between Archer and Berserker.
Be sure to check out my other fic, A Different Kind of Truth
Please leave constructive criticism.