Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. I don't own these characters. This story is not meant to violate the rights held by Stephenie Meyer.

Break in the Clouds

Edward was definitely relieved to hear about Bella and Carlisle's swift divorce, but he was raging when she matter-of-factly explained her stay at the motel. His cousin was hiding Bella – simple as that. Carlisle was tucking her away to be forgotten; she no longer showed her face in town, she didn't have her job anymore, and she was being paid to stay out here and wait for the divorce to be finalized.

"It's what I want, though," Bella countered quietly and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I could fight with him, tell him how he's hurt me, but I've done shit to him, too. All I want is to get away, start over, and forget this place ever existed. And Carlisle's even paying me for it."

Edward scoffed and ran a hand through his hair. "Ten grand? That's nothing, Bella. You could get half the house, more money . . ."

"Again, it's not what I want." Bella spoke softly, patiently. "I need a fresh start – one where I stand on my own two feet. That money will help while I look for a job and stuff."

That stung; Bella was really leaving, but Edward wasn't gonna say shit about that.

Bella needed someone who could be everything for her; meanwhile, Edward could barely take care of himself. Just a few years from forty, and he'd made the decision to piss away his life simply because he was too afraid to start over. It was easier to live day-to-day in clouded misery than to take a risk. Risk demanded guts. You needed courage to take a risk.

He admired Bella for leaving, and he wished he was brave enough to follow her lead.

But what was he gonna do? He had no clue about what he wanted to do with his life, there were no savings worth speaking of, he didn't have any experience to brag about, and he had no college degree to his name. Hell, he would barely even be able to score another security gig, because these days many employers wanted their security guards to be licensed and trained. Edward would be at the bottom of the barrel of those looking for work in security.

The only thing that separated him from regular citizens was the uniform. He didn't have a permit to carry a gun, and the only arrest he could make was the same one everyone had the right to make – a fuckin' citizen's arrest.

He should just count his blessings and be happy that Carlisle hadn't pulled strings yet to have him fired.

With a sigh, Edward slumped down next to Bella on the bed.

"Any idea where you're going?" he asked quietly.

Bella gave a little nod. "Virginia, I think. I have an aunt there who's always been nice to me, and she wants me to consider it." She paused for a beat, wringing her hands in her lap. "She runs a small bed and breakfast by the ocean; if I can't find something where I can use my art degree, maybe I can work for her. . ." She trailed off with a one-shouldered shrug.

Edward averted his eyes and tried to ignore the envy that flared up.

What he wanted to say was, "That sounds amazing. I want to go with you. I want to start over, too, but I'm scared shitless."

But he didn't say that.

Instead he went with, "I've never seen the ocean."

A few minutes of silence ensued, and it was comfortable, yet not. To Edward, silence gave him time to think about all the things he didn't have. Silence was a reminder of his life. A life where nothing happened.

Over the past weeks, he'd wondered exactly where his life had gone downhill, but he'd realized it was all gradual. Yeah, Lau's miscarriages had killed a few good things he'd had in his marriage, but shit had started to turn bad long before that. He failed to remember passion, love, and . . . and whatever. After fifteen years with Lauren, he evidently didn't even know what there was supposed to be in a marriage.

"So . . . your wife?" Bella lifted her chin and peered up at him. "You didn't say where she was."

Edward released a breath. "She's visiting her sister in Wisconsin." Then he went on to tell Bella that Lauren knew about their affair and that she needed space from him to think shit through or whatever. She had called yesterday and told him she wasn't ready yet, but that he could expect her in a week or two. Edward didn't really care. "It is what it is," he finished.

"I'm sorry," Bella whispered and looked down.

Edward shrugged and took in the room, his gaze catching the ashtray and pack of smokes on the small dresser by the window. "Do you smoke?"

"Oh, um . . ." Bella fidgeted nervously and went with a white lie. "Not really. Just felt like it yesterday. I quit in high school."

Edward accepted that and asked if it was all right if he lit one up, and Bella nodded and said, "By all means."

It grew silent again; Edward stood in the open doorway, smoked, and looked out over the fairly empty parking lot. Every now and then, a truck would fly past on the interstate, and it was basically the only noise around them. That, and the motel guest in the next room to the left who obviously enjoyed watching Spanish soaps with the sound very loud.

"Edward, can I ask you a question?" Bella's voice was tentative.

He blew out a ring of smoke into the night air. "Of course."

After some hesitation, Bella asked, "How did it all begin? I mean the feud between you and Carlisle."

Edward cracked a small smile and slid down the door to sit on the floor. Knees up, he rested his forearms on them. "It was our dads, not me and Carlisle." He paused to take a pull from the cig. "Carlisle's dad is the kind of man you refer to as Father. He's strict, stuck-up, and. . ." He waved a hand. "You know this already." Bella nodded, looking like she was remembering something painful. And Edward could only guess how his aunt and uncle had treated her. "That side of the Cullen family is very competitive. When my folks announced they were expecting me, it wasn't good news to everyone. A couple months later, my uncle calmed down a little, but only because he'd managed to knock up my aunt."

"Wait." Bella frowned. "Carlisle's father was upset just because his brother was having a kid before him?"

"Yeah." Edward nodded. "And when we were born, he got even worse." This wasn't something he enjoyed talking about, because Edward's future had once looked bright. "I was the popular kid in high school. As you know, there's close to nothing to do in this fuckin' town, so when there's finally something, people hang on to it. Me, for instance? I was good at football. There was talk about scouts coming to see me play, and the Friday games became a big thing in town."

Bella sighed softly. "And Carlisle was sick a lot."

"Exactly." Edward figured Bella knew enough to draw the conclusions. "He was gangly, socially awkward, and yeah, always sick. Since you know his dad, you can imagine how he treated Carlisle. But more than that, he couldn't stand that his brother's kid was better than his own, so he did everything he could to paint me as a . . . I don't know, a wild little rebel who always fucked up. And I did." He shrugged. "I was a football star, but I couldn't keep up my grades to save my life. In the end, I did manage to get into a community college, but I flunked out eventually."

Bella processed for a while, then asked, "But the problems weren't yours and Carlisle's, were they? They were on his father."

"I'm not gonna lie, Bella." Edward grimaced and flicked away his cigarette. "I was a shit to Carlisle in school. The way my uncle kept coming at me . . . I took it out on Carlisle. When I met Lauren, I tried to be better; I was gonna apologize, and I did feel bad. But I don't know, over one summer, I guess he grew balls. He got his revenge."

"What do you mean?" Bella frowned.

Though he chuckled, it wasn't very humorous. "He planted weed in my locker, so I was kicked off the team. After that, I didn't speak to him."

Bella hummed but said nothing.

"He came out as the winner, anyway." Edward's brow furrowed and he looked down at the dirty carpet. "I got what I deserved. Right? I mean, even though he was sick a lot and had to take a year off before heading to college, he eventually came home with a fancy education. Me – not so much." He laughed wryly, so fucking miserably. "I'm a walking cliché, Bella. The star jock whose golden days were his high school years. I was at every party, and I scored off the field as much as I did on. But then, after high school? Nothing."

If Bella had been a cliché, she would've been the fat, ugly duckling in high school, only to return at some reunion ten years later – slender, successful, happily married, perhaps a mother . . .

"It's not too late for you to get what you want," Bella offered, at a loss. She didn't want to comment on what Edward and Carlisle had done to each other; it was in the past, and it seemed like they'd both been good and bad.

Edward just silenced the topic with a shrug and a forced smile.

It wasn't too late for Bella; she wasn't even twenty-seven yet, but for Edward? Nah. This was his life. It was what he knew. It was familiar.

In an attempt to change the subject, he tried to apologize for the whole Jasper debacle, but it was Bella's turn to stay mute on the topic. She simply said they'd all played a part. Edward didn't have to bring Jasper, Bella didn't have to say yes, and no matter how much she was nakedly shoved in front of Jasper, he had no right to do what he did.

After all, raping a stripper wasn't allowed, was it?

As Edward often said . . . It is what it is.

Fanfiction written by AnotherPen, beta'd by InFlight75, pre-read by LAchick85 – we usually go by other names in the fandom.