Chap 26 What's on the inside of Jojo

"So are we fiends?" Jackson asked softly when they were alone.

"Why do you keep asking that, is seems like every day now." Carey sighed thinking he had to be crazy.

"Well," he rubbed the back of his head. "It's kind of hard to explain. Um you know the day we met?"

"You mean when you threw paper at me?" she said sarcastically.

"Aw you make it sound so mean, but yeah that day."

"What about it."

"Well, this is going to sound super weird but ever since then I've been having dreams about you." she stared at him wide eyed. "Don't worry they're nothing dirty if that's what you were thinking. It's just that I think… I'm in love with you." he said.

"Oh… um," Carey said. He stepped forwarded and she stepped back, into the wall.

"Carey will you go out with me, it's hard for me not to think about you, ever since you came to Whoville I've been going to school more and you make my day brighter. And after the dreams I can't help but think that we are meant for each other." he said taking hold of her hand.

"Um I uh don't know if this is…" she stammered out couldn't say anymore she was on the verge of panicking.

"Please Carey, I want to be with you." he said closing the distance between them

"Jackson… I… don't…" she was having trouble getting the words out, her mind was racing. What do I do he's got me against a wall, I can't do this I don't like him I'm not ready for this again. Once was enough I'm not strong enough to stop him. She wanted to cry, to scream but there was no air in her lungs. He leaned down and holding her face touched his lips to hers.

"NO!" She screamed and with all her strength pushed him off her and ran. She didnt stop even after she had left the movie theater, she didn't even know where she was going. It didn't matter to her; all she cared about was getting as far away from Jackson and the memories as possible.

She had left the main part of the city and she slowed to a walk. It was grassy and quiet here. She sat down and hid her face in her hands tears slipping from her eyes. Why must this happen to me why can't I just forget the past? "I don't want to have to live like this anymore." She said.

"Then don't," she looked up to see Jojo standing in front of her. He sat down and Carey wiped her eyes. "I'd say just let them fall if you can't keep them in," he whispered.

"If it were only that simple," she said.

"It's not?" he asked looking at her as she plucked at a piece of grass.

"Not if you're me."

"What happened?" he asked he was worried about her when she had left Jackson came back with a dumfounded look on his face then left sulking with his friend. "What did he do?"

"He… said that he… had dreamed about me… and that he was… in… love… with me. Then he pinned me to the wall and…" she stopped and hid her face in her hands again.

"And what, what did Jackson do to you Carey?" Jojo said pulling her hands away.

"He… kissed me." she said. Jojo stared at her for a long time.

"And you ran away?" he said after a while. She nodded.

"I had too; it was the only thing I could think of doing to make the visions stop." she cried throwing her hands in the air. Jojo sat there thinking about what she meant.

"I don't understand, what do you mean visions?" he asked.

"Thoughts, memories, feelings, that kind of thing," she said.

"Oh… did it help?" he asked hoping that she was going to be okay. She nodded. "That's good then."

"I guess, they'll be back, I have no dought." She sighed and a tear leaked out. Jojo brushed it way and she blushed scarlet.

"What, did I do something wrong?" he asked jerking his hand back.

"No, you're okay," she whispered.

They were silent for a while just listening to the wind and the birds.

"Carey?"

"Yeah Jojo?"

"Um why do you not care so much when I do stuff but it bothers you when others do it?" he asked embarrassingly.

"I don't know, maybe because I feel like we are so similar that its easer." She said looking over at him.

"Oh, how do you know were similar?" he asked sort of worried at what might be easy to read in him.

"It takes one to know one. I can tell also by how your body and face reacts to things like your parents other people or what they say. I don't know I've got a lot of experience of watching Whos body language."

"How?"

"When I want silent I would watch people at school and could figure out what was going on without ever hearing what was said. I got good at stuff like that. It freaked people out and they left me alone." She said turning away from him.

"I'm Sorry," he whispered, Carey shrugged.

"It's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault its mine I let it happen." There was silence.

"Sometimes you can't stop that from happening though." He said softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Something's are unavoidable no matter what you do they happen anyway like with…" he stopped.

"Like with what?" Carey asked, he didn't respond. "Does this have to do with why you stopped talking?" he nodded slowly looking at the grass. "Do you want to talk about it?" he sighed.

"That is why we are here right," he said glancing at her. Her eyes were dry and clear now.

"Yeah I guess it is."

"Can… you give me a minute… to think, this is going to be kinda hard for me," he said and she nodded. Okay you can do this Jojo, you've always wanted someone to trust, someone to listen to you, and now you have one, don't back down from this you have to be stronger than your fears. He told himself. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay so you can keep a secret right?" he asked feeling like it was a stupid question but asking none the less.

"Of cores, I won't tell anyone anything that is said here, it's just between you and me." Carey said and that made him feel better.

"So you know my dad is the mayor of Whoville and I'm his hire right?" she nodded. "Well every eldest kid in my family has to be mayor it's like a rule." He said.

"And you don't want to be mayor do you?" Carey said. Jojo sighed and hung his head.

"No, I don't, and I haven't wanted it for a long time now," he said and for some reason he felt lighter. He flopped down in the grass. "There I said it, it's out, you know." He said and looked over at her. She smiled and rolled on to her stomach.

"Do you feel better?"

"Yeah…. you won't tell anyone will you?"

"No not if you don't want me to." They looked at each other for a long time. "Now that I know your secret will you tell me the rest of the story?" She asked.

"Yeah I guess," he sat up and pulled his legs to his chest. "So when I was really little I loved helping my dad with his job, I would carry papers for him and stuff like that. He was really happy and it made me happy too. I use to tell him that I wanted to be just like him when I grew up... I can still remember the look on his face when I would say that." he sighed and Carey put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay," she whispered and dropped her hand.

"There were just 12 of us then… it was normal… but as I got more sisters, now don't get me wrong I love them all, but as more came the more chaotic things became. At that time I didn't know I had to be mayor… I just thought my dad talked about it to me because it was important to him." He paused listening to the wind and it calmed him down he continued.

"School was hard for me… I was small, well smaller and I got teased a lot because of it… I never told my parents… I was worried that it would make them mad for some reason… like I was weak. But I had a few friends that stood up for me…like Bradley; we use to be best friends. I still don't really know what happened to stop that… maybe it was middle school." He paused thinking about his childhood. Everything when downhill from there" He looked over at her she had a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I got use to people making fun of me," he said shrugging but he was secretly glad that she cared. "Anyway I was in 6th grad when my dad told me that I was going to be mayor after him, he was so happy and at the time it didn't matter to me, it seemed so far off like it would never really happen I was 11, I didn't understand. But as I got older he seemed to talk more and more about it, I kinda just sat and listened to him ramble on for hours. It got to the point where every time he saw me he would say something about being mayor. It drove me crazy. He didn't know that what he wanted for my future wasn't what I wanted and I haven't ever told him, how could I when it was all he ever wanted me to be. It was his dream that his "perfect" son would follow his footsteps."

He realized he had gotten louder and stopped; he took a deep breath and continued. "One day when I was 15 I lost it; I couldn't take it anymore, I was so depressed that I could never be what I wanted. I had slowly become quieter and lost the few people who I talked to. It was hard enough to be heard in a family with so many anyway. That day had been bad to begin with I got in a fight and was the one blamed for it, then my dad caught me singing. He didn't know I could and asked why I hadn't told him. Then he went in to this big lecture about being mayor. I had been holding everything in my whole life and I couldn't handle the pressure anymore. He never stopped telling me what I was but it was just what he thought I was. I ran away. I didn't care where I was going or what I would do when I got there; I just had to get away. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I had left the main part of Whoville and was standing by an abyss across it was the abandoned observatory. And I thought that if I could just get over there then I would have found something to call my own. It took all almost all day to get across but when I did and went in I found that it was empty except for an old piano." Jojo stopped thinking about how he had been filled with longing when he had seen it and how, still unexplained, it had called to him. He had felt in his heart that it really had called his name.

"You really love music don't you," Carey said and he nodded smiling slightly.

"I fell in love with the place instantly. It was quiet and when I played and the whole room was filled with the perfect sound. It was filled with something that I had created. I played for hours, letting everything flow through my fingers. I stopped and then cried myself to sleep. I don't know how long I stayed in there, days, weeks, months it didn't matter it was the first time I could be myself without having to hide it. While I was there I vowed never to speak again. I thought that if my dreams were impossible and he wouldn't let me be what I wanted then I would never talk to him or anyone else ever again. And until last year no one heard my voice." He stopped and looked over at Carey she was looking at the grass but when she noticed that he had stopped she looked up.

"How did you do it, never talk? How did your parents react when you came home silent?" she asked.

"They were really glad to see me and asked about a million questions about where I was and what happened. It was my mom who realized that there was something different about me and she was right. I even looked different, darker and paler. Then when they noticed that I wasn't going to respond they freaked out. I was rushed from doctor to doctor to find out what was wrong with me. I was given several medications but there was nothing wrong so it did nothing to make me any different. The mayor talked stopped due to the fact that they thought I was "sick" and then was constantly fussed over, they did everything to make me happy but little did they know they were making it worse. After a couple of months my dad started up again with the lectures, it was as if nothing had happened. The only difference was I just didn't care; I had learned to shut it out with playing music in my head. It was the only thing that probably kept me sane. And I don't know what would of happened if I didn't have the observatory. I go there a lot to get away and build music it kept my mind off the chaos and frustration." He took a deep breath.

"Then last year… well you know the story, so when I thought that the world was going to end and I thought I was going to die I decided my stupid problems wern't worth the lives of everyone. So I broke my promise to myself and shouted the first thing that came to my head, Yopp. It was the first time in three years that I had spoken and… and it scared me a little. I had heard my singing voice but not my normal one…I had forgotten what it sounded like." He ended with a whisper and stayed silent for a while.

"Are you okay?" Carey asked softly she couldn't see his face but she could tell that his eyes were closed. She scooted closer to him. He jumped at the touch of her hand on his shoulder. She let go. "Jojo what's wrong?"

"I don't know I felt strange all of a sudden, it's gone now." He said looking at her. They just sat there for a long time not saying anything, till Jojo broke the silence.

"I started talking more after that. It was really strange and hard at times. I only made small comments or broken sentenced for the first few months and to be honest this is the most I've ever talked senice I was like ten." Jojo said and he noticed that there were tears in Carey's eyes.

"I don't know that to say." she whispered.

"Well that's my story as self-centered and lame as it is but that's what happened." He said stretching and lying in the grass.

"I don't think it's self centered, you have every right to be who you want to be, does your dad know you don't want to be mayor?" she said rolling on to her stomach.

"No, I mean he knows about my love for music but I think he just sees it as a passing hobby. It's not, if I could do one thing with my life it would be to make and play music. Without music I don't know if I would have said anything last year, I would have just died with my secret." He sighed and rolled over. "And I think if I told him he would never be the same, I can't hurt him like that."

"So you're just going to live a lie?" there was a hint of anger in her voice, he looked over at her and her eyes stabbed in to his, he was taken aback "Are you going to let them control you and force you to do something you don't want to?"

"You don't understand it's not like I have a choice that's how it is here, I have to be mayor, there's no point in trying to fight it, the council will never let the law slide. There are no other options." He shot back defensively.

"There is always a choice, other options, if not then I would be wearing pink, I would be like every other stupid happy girl in this world. If there weren't other options then I probably wouldn't be here right now!" she shouted then covered her mouth and looked away from Jojo's confused look.

"Carey?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm Sorry I yelled at you." she whispered not looking at him.

"Its fine, are you okay?" he asked.

"I owe you an explanation." She said not answering him.

"Not if you're not feeling up to it, you don't have to tell me now, I can wait." He said even though he was now more confused than he had been but he didn't want to hurt the fragile friendship they had.

"No, I need to tell you now, it'll be easier that way, it's in the front of my mind right now and talking about it will make it not hurt later." She said softly.

"Okay." Jojo said he was finally going to get to know the secrets behind the new girl to Whoville. Every inch of him was tense waiting for her to speak.

AN- Well Jojo just told someone his feeling for the first time, wow! What's going to happen next? Carey is about to tell him her story and it just might scare Jojo. Keep reading!