I Open Stan's door and walked into his house.
He was on the couch watching TV.
Then he looked at me"Hey Kyle!" His whole face lit up.

"Hey.. So what did you call me over for?"
Stan got off the couch,
"Red racer four is on tonight!"
"Uh.. that's what you called me over for?"
"Yeah.. Dude you've been wanting to watch it sense the commercial last month."
"Oh yeah… I did."
"So, I was thinking we could watch it, I have it recorded" He said.

After seeing Cartman, I wasent really in the mood to watch a movie.

"Uh, I really don't think.- -"
"Oh come on, why?! You've been waiting to see this sense forever" He cut me off
He came closer and flashed his eye lashes, "Pleeeeaaaase?"

I laughed, "Ok" I agreed and sat on his couch.
Stan played the movie, and sat down, putting his arm around me.

In the middle of the movie at some point I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes
and relaxed.
I got this tingly feeling..
I really do belong with Stan.
I just need to find a right way to break up with Cartman.
He cant handle this anymore and I cant either.
And It's obvious who I'm suppose to be with.
I got a tight knot in my chest thinking about breaking up with Cartman..
I know it's going to hurt But it's the right thing to do.
I sighed. I'll tell him tomorow.


The next day at the bus stop,
Cartman was completely ignoring me once again.
Acting as if nothing happened.
But he and I both know what's under his sleeve..

I feel insecure thinking,
If I break up with him and he hurts himself, How could I live with myself?
Then I reminded myself,
I'm not making him do these things.
Whatever he does, Is his fault, And though I may upset him,
In the end he's really the one that caused whatever he does.

Stan was talking with Kenny about the game on Saturday,
Kenny was saying how he was going to take this hot girl Lila.
When Stan asked Cartman about who he's bringing,
He simply glared and put in his earphones, playing his ipod.

Stan gave me a confused look when He ignored him.
I shrugged As If I had no idea what was wrong with him.
Even though I knew exactly whats wrong with him.

In Class with Stan, Stan passed me a note.
I opened it

Valentines day, day after tomorrow

It said, With a bunch of hearts around it.
I looked and smiled at him.

My class with cartman was next.. I felt my heart racing as I Got closer and closer
to the room, knnowing he was in there.
I just had to tell him to meet me after school, I cant break up with him in class.
I sat at my desk, Cartman wasent here yet.
A few secounds later, He walked passed me and sat down.
Completely iggnoring my exsistance.
Mrs. Elson showed up and started our lesson.
I toke a deep breath.
I guess its now or never.
I toke a piece of notebook paper out of my notebook and wrote

Cartman, Meet me after school today.
-K

I crumpled it up and tapped my pencil on my desk trying to get his attention.
He didnt even glance my way.
I kept doing it but a bit louder.
I got some looks from some other kids, but not Cartman.
Finnaly I got mad and threw it at him.
He was startled then frowned at me.
He picked up the paper ball and threw it onto the floor.
Damn it!
What the fuck was that?!
I angirly take out my notebook again and wrote the same note
But folded it and wrote on the top, "Read me"

I threw it at his head again.
He frowed and flipped me off.
He picked up the note, Read it the top of it,
Crumpled it up and tossed it on the ground.
What the hell?! why does he keep doing that!?
I know he read the 'Read me' Part of it.

I'm starting to get pissed.. I Start writting it again, But
stop when I notice Cartman is writting somthing on his notebook.
Is he writting that to me?
Well He sure as hell doesnt take notes for class.
A few secounds later He Crumples his note into a ball and tossed it to me.
I picked it up slowly. My fingers were shaking as I held onto it.
He didnt even read my notes.. what would he write?
I Sigh and flowly Un crumple the note and read,

Kyle,
I am serriously fucking done.
Im done waiting,
Whatever thing we had, Its over.
Beacuse You were really his all along.
So stop passing me your stupid notes.
I'm done with you. Leave me the fuck alone.
Bye forever, - Eric Cartman

I slowly put down the note.
Did he just break up with me?
My heart Felt as if someone just queezed all the blood out of it.
I looked at Cartman, He was looking straight up at Mrs. Elson.
He never pays attention to the teacher.
My chest felt weak and I felt as if I am going to burst out crying.
Why? This is what I wanted!
I was going to break up with him after school.. right?
So why do I feel so fucking misserable?


At the end of class, Cartman walked passed me as if I were nothing.
That just made the tears I'm holding in, harder to fight back.
I mean.. Its like he doesent even care

I started walking in the hallway.. I really didnt want to see Stan so I walked away from my locker,
Didnt care where I was going.

The rest of the school day Ive been really.. down.
I felt like I had no air.
Like someone had suffocated me and I cannot gasp for breath.
When I had my next class I just sat with my head down in my arms.
Usually I would want to make a good impression for my teachers
But for the first time In My life, I didnt care.

I kept pinching myself to stop feeling this way,
This is what I wanted. I have stan now.
I thought trying to make myself happier.. no matter what I thought
I still felt this drowsy, sad, depressing hole inside me.
I decided I was just sick.

When I finnaly had to go to my locker, Stan was there..
"Hey where were you?" He smiled,
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing.. Nothing I'm just really tired."
"Oh.. well anyways, my house tonight right?"
I frowned,

Cartman would have known somthing was wrong..
Cartman would have kept asking, and demanded to tell him,
knowing I was lying.

I shook the thought out of my head.
"Yeah" I forced a smile
"Great" He smiled.
"But i might be alittle late, I have to help my mom
With the laundry tongight."
"Ok" Stan smiled.

Cartman would have got suspicious.. even though this time I am telling the truth
atleast Cartman notices how I really feel, instead of taking everything I say for how it is.

I mentally kicked myself.
Stop thinking about that!

Later I got to Stan's house and we sat on his bed, every couple minneutes his parents
would come in just to "Check in" I know they just want to make sure were not doing anything.
Everytime they came in Stan smiled and laughed that were not doing anything.

If Cartamn's mom kept comming in he would have commanded her to get the fuck out.
That sounds bad.. but atleast we had privacy.

I flic myself.
STOP THINKING about him!

Stan looked at me, "You ok? Look like somthing's on your mind."
I smiled at him "I'm fine"
He smiled and puts his arm around my waist

Is that really all he does?
put his arm around me and kiss me?
Jesh.. I'd like alittle more then that.
I know I stopped him once but That was a long ass time
ago! I think we wouldve got to a bigger base by now!
Unlike Cartman.. He just went for it!
I was drunk.. but even when I wasent drunk we did more then this!
no wounder we might have had sex..

I frown at myself! GOD DAMN IT
STOP THINKING LIKE THIS!
I growl silently at myself.. Stan doesnt even notice how tense I am
right now.

..Cartman would have noticed..

DAMN IT!
I Flicked myself in the head four times.
Stan raised his eyebrow,
"Uh.. whats wrong?"
"Nothing!" I came out harsher then I intended it too..
"Uh.." Stan scotted back alittle.
"Why do you keep flicing yourself?"
"Its nothing ok?!" I huffed.
Stan gave me a stunned look.
I shouldnt take this out on him..
I spoke softer "Its nothing, really"
I kissed his cheek.
And for once, I think he didnt believe me.

I came home,
I had such a great time, I am so lucky too have stan
I would tell myself.
But I know I still feel like shit.

I walk up to my room and fall onto my bed.

I felt tears despreate to be free,
But I trapped them inside.
I cant let myself cry over this.
This is what I wanted.. isnt it?

It just hit me a few minneutes ago.
Over.. It's really over.
Me and Cartman.
I cant believe it. Its really.. truely..
Over.
One of the tears somehow mannaged to escape,
But I tell myself its not beacuse its.. over.

Hope you liked the Chapterr :)
I might right the next one tonight.. but idk.
Love you reviewers ! :D