What's crackin' lil bitches?
XD Sorry guys, but I just had to use Jazz's line hahaha.
Anywho BEHOLD: Ironhide and Tessa's shopping adventures! Just a bit of fun and bonding between these two :)
I will confess, that there is a "stereotypical" and possibly slightly *cough*MarySue*cough* scene towards the end, but I actually wanted it in there; because I thought it would be interesting to see Tessa react in a situation like this one.
So please guys, no flames; the scene pretty much wrote itself.
Anywho, enjoy!
P.S. There are a few errors in here that I will probably have to fix up later, but I will hopefully do so soon! Much loooove!
It hadn't taken long for them to get to the mall that Tessa usually went to.
Despite Ironhide's unusually massive frame, they'd been able to find a parking spot beneath the shade of some trees. Sure Ironhide had been forced to half park on the adjacent curb, and had a stand-off with another driver who also wanted the spot; but eventually they'd parked and Tessa had climbed down from the massive truck.
"You didn't have to intimidate the driver like that you know!" she scolded him, poking the side of the bonnet like a mother pointing at a disobedient child.
"Why not?" came Ironhide's voice from the grill, "It was fun!"
She scoffed and shook her head, "Trying to run them over was not the way to go about it, you cranky old fart! The poor guy thought you were going to kill him!" To her surprise, the grill rumbled deeply and she realized that he was laughing at the remark.
"Who's to say I wasn't?" he retorted. Tessa responded by kicking the tyre with her sneaker; noticing that she felt it more without her steel-capped boots to protect her toes.
"I know you weren't, because if you were I'd take you apart and turn you into a women's edition sports car." She threatened, thumping her fist playfully on the hood.
"You wouldn't…?" he said, sounding like he was apprehensive about his own statement; it came out more like a question. Tessa took full advantage of this and shot him a sinister looking grin, not knowing whether he could see it or not.
"Just try me."
A round of sarcastic, amiable laughter rippled between them before Tessa looked over to the shopping centre, an apprehensive look on her face before she turned to look at the Topkick, "Are you going to use that Holoform of yours and come with me?"
He scoffed a little, "I was just going to wait here. Why? Do you need me to go with you?"
"Well…" she said cheekily, "I'm going to need someone to carry my bags." She laughed to herself a little before resting a hand gently on the side of the towering vehicle, "I'm only joking Ironhide, but seriously; you'll probably get bored waiting out here so long, I'm more than likely going to be a while. Will you please go with me?"
There was a moment of contemplative silence before the heard a heavy sigh.
"Alright fine; but you will not tell anyone about this. If anybody asks, I waited in the parking lot. Holoforms are so…artificial to me; I can't use my cannons."
This made Tessa snort in amusement, "You can't use them in public anyway!" she laughed, "But I promise. Not a word."
Running her finger and thumb over her lips like a zipper, she patted him on the side and stepped back; secretly a little excited to be able to see a Holoform from Ironhide. She heard an electrical buzzing from inside the truck, seeing a faint blue light through the heavily tinted windows before it finally stopped; and she waited with bated breath. Finally, the driver side door swung open and a figure jumped down. Tess nearly had a heart attack.
Ironhide's form stood around 5'9 and was incredibly sturdy. The amount of muscle and girth that he possessed gave Tessa the impression that if she hadn't already known him; she would have avoided him in the street.
He simply oozed dangerous.
She had to smile and shake her head to herself, thinking just how well the form suited him. Short, spiky black hair was atop his head, his face was clean-shaven and there was a large, marring discolouration over his right eye; a scar of some sort.
I wonder if it's a representation of an injury… she wondered thoughtfully, continuing to take in her friend's appearance.
He wore a heavy, black drill-fabric jacket over his broad torso and a metallic, gunmetal grey muscle shit was underneath it. A set of militia style dog-tags bearing the symbol of the Autobots hung around his neck as a representation of the soldier that he still was, and a pair of dark blue denim jeans hung baggily from his legs; small frayed tears were noticeable, as was the severe fraying on the hem at the bottom. A pair of heavy, black steel-caps made solid thumps in his steps as he approached her with his arms out in a 'well?' gesture. He looked cool, powerful, and the intensely vibrant blue of his eyes made him look dangerous; it was the most perfect encapsulation of Ironhide she could have ever seen.
"I think you're going to be beating women off with a stick today, Ironhide." She smirked, unable to hide her amusement. Ironhide's Holoform gave her a sarcastic sneer.
"I can't say I'd pass up the opportunity to show some fleshlings who's boss." He replied, making Tessa choke back a laugh.
"God, you're such a violent old bastard." She scoffed before gesturing to the complex with her thumb, "Anyway, let's get going."
With a sharp, cocky nod, the massive tank of a man turned and followed her through the parking complex.
-0-0-0-0-0-
As Tessa had predicted, poor Ironhide easily caught the attention of most of the women they passed; however the weapons specialist clearly didn't pay any heed. She did notice, however, that whenever they walked by a particularly rough or shady looking male, he would use himself as a barrier between them and Tessa. At first she hadn't realized, but after it happened a few times she had to question him on it.
"Why do you keep doing that?" she asked, stopping outside a pet store to look at the puppies through the glass. Ironhide gave them a brief, almost impassive glance; before he replied to her.
"Prime wouldn't want you in any danger. Statistics prove that human females are prone to being attacked or harassed by males who seem to bear the I.Q of an inbred fish; if they wish to get to you, they must first go through me." He said matter-of-factly.
Tessa snorted, "Ever the soldier huh?" she couldn't help but smile fondly though, a grin crossing her features, "I appreciate the gesture, Ironhide; thank you. But seriously, you can relax. You're in close enough proximity to me that people would probably piss themselves before they took me on; especially with guns like these!"
She flexed her arms with a cheeky grin, pretending that she was buff.
He scoffed at her before nudging her with his elbow, almost knocking her over. She looked up at him with a 'bitch, you didn't!' expression written across her features; which only cause him to laugh at her more.
By way of punishment, she dragged him to every store she could to try and annoy him; including making him push her trolley full of groceries and subjecting him to the typical "does this dress make me look fat" shopping trip.
Unfortunately for her, he'd one-upped her by saying yes.
They'd gone to the food court so that Tessa could eat some lunch; and after questioning Ironhide as to why he wasn't eating, she'd been informed that Holoforms could only ingest things that could be used as fuel, such as water and alcoholic concentrates. She'd also laughed her head off at the girl behind the counter of Burger King who had tried shamelessly to flirt with the burly mech by batting her eyelashes; to which he had asked her if she "had an error in her optics". By God she wished she'd been able to video tape the girl's expression.
By around 2:30 she'd had just about enough of the mall; and it was fairly safe to say that Ironhide had as well. She'd picked up her boots, done all of her grocery shopping and picked up a few gifts for people back at N.E.S.T; there was just one last stop she wanted to make.
"Hey Ironhide," she said as she turned to him, "I have one more place to go; can I get you to take this stuff to the parking lot? I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Oh finally!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air aggressively, "I finally understand why human males hate the word "shopping" now. You've dragged me back and forth all fragging day!"
She laughed at his typical male reaction; although she couldn't really talk. Even as a teenager, the only stores she'd enjoyed shopping in were music stores and auto garages; even the occasional Swap-Meet. She patted Ironhide firmly on the arm, marvelling at how much he still felt like he was made of metal. "Yeah, yeah; you'll get over it big boy. I'll see you in a minute, okay?"
He nodded and looked around briefly before addressing her once more, "Be careful." He said before turning and walking away with her groceries.
Tess couldn't help but giggle at the sight of the massive mech pushing the wobbly framed trolley full of paper bags; somehow he still managed to make the emasculating action look manly. Turning on her heel she headed for the one place she enjoyed going at the mall.
A small military surplus store that was located on the outside of the mall.
This was where she planned to buy a gift for Ironhide, just like she had for the others; she'd just needed him out of the way so that she could buy it.
A small bell tinkled as she entered the store, and she spotted the elderly man who ran it. He smiled fondly as she entered and bid her a simple, professional greeting; he'd seen her here many times before. She took some time to look at some of the things she could try and buy for the cantankerous black Autobot who had quite honestly become one of her best friends. There were torches, Swiss army knives, compasses, guns; everything someone military might need. She'd always looked at them as pretty trinkets, but now that she was surrounded by military influence, it meant so much more to her.
Then she saw the perfect gift.
A very large hunting knife, more of a machete than anything else, sat on one of the racks behind the counter; it was about the length of her arm with a thick, broad blade that was about the length of her entire forearm. It was clearly a heavy duty weapon.
She asked to see the weapon, to which the old man retrieved it and placed it on the counter between them, pointing out to her what it was designed for and what advantages it had. However the sale was interrupted by a voice from behind her; one that she didn't recognise.
"That's a mighty big knife there. Sure a pretty thing like you can handle it?"
She turned around curiously to see a young man about the same age as her, if not a year or so younger, standing a little distance away with his arms crossed and a cocky smirk on his face. She immediately felt the back of her neck prickle in distrust, but kept her tone friendly as she addressed him.
"Actually, it's not for me," she said with a politely fake smile, "it's for a friend of mine. He's a real weapon nut." She tried to emphasise Ironhide's love of the destructive in an attempt to ward off this obviously 'ulteriorly-motivated' man.
No dice.
"Oh, he is huh? Must be some lucky friend you've got there."
That familiar sense of discomfort rippled over her skin and down her shoulders, but she tried to ignore it. "Yeah well, …" she trailed off as she turned to the old man and gave him a genuinely warm smile as she tried to brush the other man off, "I'll take this one. How much."
"$267." He replied, looking at the weapon before making eye contact with her, "I know it seems pricey-but it's a handmade weapon designed specifically for heavy duty-"
"-No, no I'll take it; it's perfect." She handed him enough cash to cover it and he went to go wrap the machete and get some change for her. Unfortunately this left her alone with the stranger.
"So, you got a name?" he asked confidently.
Tessa turned a little, her expression one of disinterest as she observed him. He had sandy blond hair that hung in a surfy, dishevelled mop over green eyes and a smirk that just oozed an 'I'm superior to all living creatures' attitude. "Yes." She replied vaguely, turning back to the counter with her back to him.
She heard him laugh smoothly as she did so. "Hey now, that's a bit rude don't you think? I was just trying to be friendly-"
He moved to place a hand on her shoulder and she shrunk away from his reach, turning to face him with an apprehensive expression. Note to self, she thought; don't turn away from him again…
"I don't mean to be rude," she said in a forced civil manner, "but please don't touch me."
Before the sandy haired man could reply to her, the storeman reappeared with the wrapped weapon and her change. He paused to take in the scene, and shot the young man a stern, authoritive look. In response, the blond looked over and Tessa and shook his head with an angry exhale.
"Whatever." He barked as he turned tail and left the store.
Sighing in relief, she took the bag with the weapon in it and tucked her change into her pocket before thanking the man. Then she tucked it securely over her wrist and headed out of the store; crossing the car park towards where Ironhide had parked. She felt infinitely safer as she got closer to the Topkick, but to her surprise, the voice of the guy from the store made itself known.
"Need a hand?" he asked her, crossing one of the empty car spaces to approach her.
God what is with this guy? She thought irritably, is he whacked out on stupid pills?
"No. Thank you." She said firmly, trying to ignore him. She was within hearing distance to Ironhide now; he would hear her if she shouted, but she didn't want to seem as if she were overreacting. Aside from being a bit annoying, the guy hadn't actually harmed her; however she felt unsafe…something was off about him. She turned and started to walk away.
"Whoa, wait up." He said confidently as he reached out for the wrist on her free hand. She sporadically twitched and turned to face him with an annoyed expression.
"Don't." she snapped, "I told you to leave me alone."
He took a step toward her, eyeing her off in a manner that she did not like. "Actually, you didn't. What's your problem babe? I just want to know your name." She took a step back from him and realized that she had bumped into the bonnet of a parked car. Her expression went from annoyed to worried as she looked around nervously.
Ironhide would only be able to hear her from here if she yelled for him.
The cocky bastard in front of her reached for her arm again, and this time her nerves got the better of her. She was frightened and intimidated; backed into a metaphorical corner so to speak and so she did the only thing her mind told her to do.
She reeled back her right hand and punched him.
"I said don't touch me!" she screeched, her voice cracking from her frazzled nerves.
He didn't fall down from the blow; she wasn't strong enough to floor someone. However it did cause him to back up a step. Throwing her previous concerns about overreacting out the window, she called to the Topkick.
"Ironhide I need you!" she screamed in distress, trying to sidestep around her assailant; however he'd recovered and now had an angry look on his face as he cupped a bloody nose.
"You bitch!" he snapped angrily at her; reaching out to grab a fistful of her ponytail.
She heard the violent roar of a familiar engine approach, driving quickly enough and closely enough to make the jerk release her and stare in shock at the truck that threatened him. For half a second she thought he was going to run the man over, but the Topkick screeched to an angry halt and the driver's door swung open violently.
Ironhide's Holoform stormed furiously out of the vehicle; his eyes bearing such rage and intensity that it frightened her. She had never seen this side of him…
The soldier side.
He grabbed the young man violently by the front of his shirt with one massive fist and pulled him up to face him. "Touch her again fleshling, and I will show you just how easy you will be to break. Punk ass little shit." He spat venomously. Without waiting for the boy to respond, Ironhide threw him back across the ground carelessly, not caring about the pained exclamation that came from him. He made his way to Tessa, quickly checking over her for any sign of injury.
"Are you damaged?" he asked sternly.
Tessa shook her head, her hands still shaking a little from the shock. She didn't fail to noticed how he used the term "damaged" instead of injured; just another demonstration of the difference in their races. "N-No. I'm fine. I…punched him for trying to grab me."
A relieved sigh escaped him and he pointed to the truck. "Get in. We're taking you home."
She nodded and shot one last look at where her assailant should have been, but it turned out he'd already turned tail and run; so instead she made her way around to the passenger side of the truck. After she'd climbed up into the truck and buckled herself in she let out a heavy sigh, placing the brown paper bag on the floor at her feet.
Ironhide's Holoform climbed in and gave her a cocky smirk before he reached over and placed his huge palm gruffly on her head, ruffling her hair. Then he released her and the Holoform dissipated in a collection of electrical sparks. As the truck drove away from the shopping centre, she gave a heavy sigh and leaned back into the seat; suddenly exhausted.
"You alright, Squishy?" came a gruff voice from the speakers.
Trying to erase the afternoon's rather annoying finish, she gave a smile and nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine 'Hide. Everything's fine now."
There was a long moment of silence where neither of them spoke before Ironhide's voice crackled through on audio, "So what's in the bag?"
Suddenly remembering her secret little shopping venture, she grinned in the rear-view mirror and wiggled her finger in a 'nu-uh' gesture. "It's a surprise," she said cheekily, "you'll find out eventually."
He scoffed, but didn't press the issue; he knew she was just as stubborn as he was.
"I'm impressed you tried to defend yourself out there," he said suddenly; however his tone then turned to one of a scolding brother, "but next time just call straight for me. I am better equipped to handle situations like that."
"I noticed," Tessa replied thoughtfully, "you were…kind of scary out there…" she trailed off slowly at her own words; not wanting to offend him with her blatancy. However after a moment's pause, her fears were put to rest with the playful tone in his voice.
"Thank you, I hope he thought so too."
She snorted at this, "Smart ass." She laughed happily, glad to feel her discomfort from earlier slipping away, "…Thank you for coming with me today. Despite the day's kind of unfortunate finish; I had a lot of fun."
There was a brief pause before, "So did I." she smiled at his response before he quickly added, "But if you tell anyone on base about me carrying your shopping; you're dead."
She burst out laughing before patting the dashboard firmly, "Aw…I love you too, old man." A grin formed on the corners of her mouth as she thought of something, turning her gaze to the rear-view mirror so that he could see her clearly, "When you get back to base, tell Lennox that I'm going to be at work tomorrow; whether he says I'm allowed or not."
"Did you ask someone to confirm this for you?" he teased her snidely. Tessa's response was to scoff and playfully punch the seat.
"Now you know better than anybody 'Hide," she paused; unable to hide her massive grin, "where's the fun in asking for permission?"