"I can't," she finally breathed, "I can't promise you anything Soifon," Soifon back away from the shingami and looked away wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Why?" she stuttered.

"I just can't, and you need to understand that," Kei pleaded she reached for Soifon, but the Captain backed away from her touch.

"Soifon…"

"Why?!" she snapped, "Why are you going to throw all of this away! You've advanced more then any other shinigami I've ever seen. And you're just going to throw it all away?! You have so much potential, Kei. And you're just going to walk away from it?!" Soifon searched Kei for answer, but Kei wasn't going to raise her voice to the Captain she had no energy and no need.

"I'm tired Soifon, and I want to go away. My abilities mean nothing to me anymore. And I'm beginning to question furthering my life as a shinigami. I've been through hell Soifon. And only now do I admit it, but I'm tired and I just want to go away. That's all I want."

"But…" she started, "But what about Yachiru and the rest of Squad 11, what about everyone else? It wouldn't be right to leave them, Kei. Would they understand?"

"I don't care if they do," she admitted.

"And what of Captain Zaraki? Did he approve this?" Soifon was hoping to have found some kind of loop hole that make Kei stay, but she didn't get the answer she was hoping for.

"Yes, I speak again with him this afternoon."

Soifon searched her mind to try and find something that would Kei stay, "I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but since you didn't accept my offer to become the 2nd Squad Lieutenant they were going to offer you the Captaincy of Squad 3 being that you reached bankai under the specific rules."

"That doesn't matter to me because I would have turned them down."

"Kei?"

Kei snapped, "Don't you get it, Soifon?! I don't want the Captaincy and I don't want to be a Lieutenant! I was content being a simple seated officer and I was happy for probably one of the first times in my life 3 months ago and she was taken from me! Ripped right from my fingers and I watched her die and I wasn't able to do anything! Now everyday is like hell! Soifon I'm so tired you wouldn't understand!" there were tears streaming down her face and she pleaded with Soifon at least to just understand a little, "I don't know if I'm going to come back, and I'm sorry I could be your Lieutenant or that I let everyone's expectations down, but they weren't mine they were someone else's and that's not want I wanted!"

Kei turned and left Soifon alone of the grassy hill. She made her way towards the barracks where most of her things had been packed.

"Kei-Kei!" Yachiru sprang up from the mat. She had been playing with something near Kei's satchel, "Are you going on a trip Kei-Kei?" she asked excitedly pointed to the satchel.

"Yeah Lieutenant I'm going away," she sighed.

"That's wonderful! Can I come with you?!" she jumped around in front of Kei.

"Um…Lieutenant there's something I need to tell…" it was obvious Kenpachi hadn't mentioned a word to her out of fear of upsetting her. Yachiru realized the concern in Kei's voice and calmed down. Kei kneeled down.

"I'm going away for a long time, and it maybe a permanent trip."

"What?" it took a minute for it to register with the pink haired Lieutenant, "NO! Kei you can't go!" she pounced on the shinigami and held Kei flat on her back, "Kei-Kei can't go! You can't go! That's not fair!"

"Lieutenant you have to understand why I'm doing this…" Kei pleaded.

"No! You have to stay you can't go!"

Kei was finally saved when Ikkaku and Yumichika entered the room and removed their Lieutenant from Kei before the pink haired woman crushed Kei's sternum.

"Captain just told us the news, Kei," they both sounded really sad.

"It's not fair…" muttered Yachiru as she stormed from the room. They could hear her mumbling all the way down the hallway.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" asked Yumichika.

"Yeah I'm positive."

"Although we wish you would stay. We understand your reasons and wish you the best, Kei," smiled Ikkaku.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"When do you leave?" asked Yumichika looking at the satchel behind her.

"Tomorrow morning. The time for the gate to opened has already been set."

"Where will you go?"

"There's an island called Hawaii that I hear is nice. I'm going to head there. I'll figure out a job from there."

"What about a house?"

"Don't worry I have enough to afford one."

"We're really bummed about you leaving, Kei," muttered Ikkaku.

"Will you be coming back anytime soon?" asked Yumichika.

"I don't know," she admitted both men just simply nodded, "Captain Zaraki is waiting for you in the courtyard," stated Yumchika.

Kei nodded and headed out the door.

---

Captain Zaraki was sitting cross legged on the wooden walkway just outside his room. He had a cup of tea in one hand and a blank folder lying next to him. Kei had never seen him drink tea before. She took a seat next to him.

"I still can't believe you are leaving, Kei…" he admitted taking a sip of tea. There was still always that hint of humor in his voice.

"Doesn't seem like anyone can, Captain. Especially Lieutenant."

"Most of the time I wouldn't allow this. I would tell you to work through your problems, but you have faced more adversity in these couple of months then most shinigami face in a lifetime. But not only that you have proven yourself to me and everyone else. I am very proud of you, Kei," he looked at her and cocked a grin. He picked up the folder after setting the tea down and opened it. It contained Kei's file. Everything there was to know about the blue haired shinigami was in that folder.

"Even General Yamamoto admitted that you were one of the most promising shinigami to come around in a long time. You should be honored to know that you were being considered for Captaincy of Squad 3."

"Captain Soifon informed me a few moments ago."

"I see," he flipped a page and stamped on the letter head it said, Request for temporary leave of absence"It's already been signed. I did it this morning. And General Yamamoto has already approved it as well. You are more then welcome at any time to return to the Soul Society and resume your duties."

Kei smiled, "Thank you, Captain Zaraki," Kei stood and before leaving gave the rather large Captain the best hug she could manage without getting stabbed in the eye by one of his spikes and she couldn't exactly put her arms around, but he got the jest of it.

"We will see you off tomorrow morning."

---

Kei was sitting on her bed staring down at the floor with occasional glances to the satchel that lay on the floor. The shinigami heard footsteps outside on the walk way. She looked up to see a shadow begin to slide open the door.

"Soifon?"

Soifon entered Kei's room wearing her shinigami uniform, but no haori or sash. The Captain walked up to Kei, "If words won't make you stay maybe this will," Soifon kissed Kei passionately and at first she hesitated, but then she kissed back. The two kissed furiously for a few moments with Soifon straddling Kei on the bed.

"Wait…wait…I can't do this. It's wrong. And I've already made up my mind to leave, Soifon."

Soifon pouted wrapping her arms around Kei's neck and kissed it lightly, but Kei stood, "Soifon enough. Please stop this. Just leave me alone."

"But Kei…"

"NO! Soifon just let it go," Kei walked out of the room leaving Soifon sitting alone on her bed. Soifon laid down and wrapped the blankets around her.

You can't keep pushing everyone away, Kei.

I'm not, Hana. I just need sometime to myself.

I don't want you to be alone. I want you to be happy.

But I don't feel right being with someone else. And especially so soon. I feel like I'm betraying you.

You're not. Like I said I want you to be happy. You don't deserve to be alone Kei.

I'm so confused about what to do anymore, Hana. I need you here.

You have to accept that I'm not coming back Kei, but I'll be right here if you need advice, but don't make yourself miserable because of me. That makes me feel bad and that's not right.

I'm sorry.

That's better.

Kei returned to her room to find Soifon in her bed with the covers draped over her. Kei sighed with a smile and crawled into the bed with her wrapping her arms around the Captain's body and holding her close. She felt a soft hand brush her cheek and another hand touch her hands. Soifon probably wasn't going to accept the fact that Kei was leaving anytime soon, but she would deal with that tomorrow right now she just wanted to relish in this moment.

"I know you're leaving tomorrow, Kei," she whispered, "Just don't leave me tonight."

Kei kissed her bare shoulder, "I won't."

Yesterday by The Beatles

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they're here to stay

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be

There's a shadow hanging over me.

Oh, I yesterday came suddenly

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday

Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm