Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

Hazard's Sorrow

Chapter: 26/ Hazard's Confessions: Part 3

Takato stood in the doorway to the kitchen, a nervous smile playing on his face, all but belying the sudden pitfall that his heart had taken upon entering the room and finding not only his parents but also Jeri and Impmon, the latter of which looked to have been in a pretty fierce scuffle of sorts. Takato could only imagine with what Impmon had gotten into a fight with, and given his ability to digivolve to the Mega level, he doubted that it was a dog. In short, it didn't take a computer genius to know what this was about. One look at their faces; his parents, Jeri's, and Impmon's was enough to confirm it.

They know, thought Takato becoming crestfallen. If it weren't for Impmon's disheveled appearance he would have thought that Yamaki had phoned them and apprised them of the situation. He wouldn't have put it past the blonde haired Hypnos agent. In fact, in the back of his mind he guessed that he half expected it.

Takato's father was the first to speak to the boy.

"Takato? May we see you for a moment? We'd like to talk to you about something."

Takato nodded and walked inside the kitchen's embrace, coming up to the table that his parents and two friends sat around, pulled back a chair and set himself down in it, looking over each of them, gauging their reactions. His father looked at him with worry, and a touch of confusion to go along with it, as though he had just experienced something that went outside his normal experiences (though by now he should have had enough of that because of his son's association with digital life forms to have gotten used to any oddities that popped up in his life) and needed it explained to him. The fact that this look was directed at him especially did not comfort Takato all that much, but the knowledge that his father would hear him out as he had the first time when he had introduced Guilmon to his family helped boost his courage a little bit.

The expression on his mothers face however went a long way towards damaging that new foundation however. If there was one thing that Takato feared, or disliked, it was either disappointing his mother or making her worry about him because of something that he did or intended to do. She had, over time, eased up on him and down played this particular trait during the time that she had been made aware of Guilmon's existence and his duties as a Tamer having seen for herself the evidence that he was in fact growing up, right under her nose no matter how much she wished that she could protect him from all the dangers that he faced and would continue to face in his life, whether or not he remained as a Tamer. Now… now something in her eyes told Takato that all her old worries had come back in full force, even though they were tempered back by her knowledge that Takato was no longer the baby that she strived to protect. However, as a mother, and a mother of a child who had at one time been a Tamer and had recently experienced a terrible loss, she was far more likely to do whatever it took to protect her child, even if it was from himself, and there is very little in the universe stronger then the love that a parent has for their own offspring, which Takato himself could testify too, being something of a parent in having created Guilmon.

His eyes sliding over to Impmon, Takato mentally winced at the injuries that the little digimon had sustained. Again he wondered what it was that had happened, but barring an explanation as to how they came into existence Takato could only guess as to how he had received them. Though he had an idea as to what had happened. A very good idea, and once again Takato felt as though he were to blame for it. Impmon was his friend and he had been hurt because of him, because of his actions (even if Impmon was largely responsible for Megidramon's appearance). He should have tried harder to be his friend, and be understanding rather then brush him off as being an occasional annoyance.

Stop it! Takato thought to himself fiercely. What's done is done, and everything was… it was just beyond our control at the time. There was so much that we really didn't understand at the time and we understood each other even less. Even Lucemon…

Takato paused at the name, remembering his first, and so far only encounter with the angelic digimon that had attacked him and Guilmon. After a fashion he did understand why Lucemon had done what he did, but how could he accept it? Guilmon was his friend, and Lucemon didn't care in the least for that, or even care about knowing everything that had happened that led up to Takato letting loose his anger and forcing Guilmon to digivolve. All that mattered was making sure that a threat was eliminated, and he had done so in the same, cold, calculating manner as the malevolent program D-Reaper had when it was attempting to destroy both the real and digital worlds. That attitude had been the core reason why Takato and his friends didn't hesitate to destroy D-Reaper or show it any mercy. There was no understanding, no reasoning…

Did Lucemon feel the same way?

Takato had seen the images of the devastated digital world during the war with D-Reaper. A lot had been lost in the battle to defeat the dangerous rogue program, and if Lucemon had been a part of that conflict, no doubt the experience would have left him with the desire to see to it that something of that nature never happen again, and from what he remembered about Megidramon…

Yes, Takato could easily understand where Lucemon was coming from when he had fought the angel.

If only there was some way to keep my friends from having to feel this, thought Takato as he studied Impmon carefully, meeting his green eyes, seeing the same expression that he had seen with his father. A need to understand something and know what reasons there were for it happening, whatever it was.

Looking over at Jeri, Takato could tell that it was the same with her as well.

"So…" began Takato, swallowing nervously. "What is it that you want to talk to me about?"

Takato could almost feel the weight of the gaze of all those gathered around him, Jeri's and Impmon's especially since they would be far closer to the source of everything that had happened, even if it had been unintended. If they knew the full extent of why Lucemon had attacked Guilmon… Takato shuddered. He didn't want them to know. He didn't want them to feel responsible, and yet he felt powerless to prevent it.

Yet, he realized now that holding back from them, from all his friends, was central to the rash decision that he had made last night and now he had to deal with those consequences as well.

Takahiro sighed and glanced over his shoulder at his wife, Mei who, without taking her gaze off of Takato, reached over and squeezed her husband's hand. The elder male smiled grimly before looking back at Takato.

"Son… earlier today I went down to the park to see if you were around and… I came across something that was in Guilmon's old home…"

Takato stiffened in shock, his eyes widening in surprise at the revelation. He didn't expect that, but in a way he felt as though he shouldn't be at all surprised. The day's irony hadn't yet come to an end it seemed…

"No…" began Takato, earning him a concerned glance from Jeri, her face softening as she looked at him.

"I don't know how to explain it," continued Takahiro. "And I'd like to understand just what it was that happened back there. We all do. What was at Guilmon's home…"

"I already know," whispered Takato as he looked down at the surface of the table, and his father paused as everyone let this sink in and waited for Takato to elaborate. Takato dry swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling very parched right now, and fighting down the wave of nervousness that had been building since he had entered the bakery, and had been present even before then following his worry about how the other Tamers would react to the news.

"I already know…" said Takato as he quickly picked up the thread of conversation that had taken a brief pause. "…Because I created him…"

The pause that had been in the air earlier now settled firmly in the room, silencing everyone as the news left them stunned. Takato waited, almost hoping, wishing that someone would say something, anything so as to end the silence that hung around them all like a death sentence. After a few seconds of nothing being said, Impmon began to make odd, choking sounds, as though he were struggling to find the words that he wanted, or the strength necessary to say them, but at present was failing. Hardly a surprise really. The others had reacted in much the same way. Before Impmon, or Takato's parents could say anything to breach the quiet, Jeri's soft voice spoke up, and Takato felt his heart clench, dreading whatever she had to say while at the same time relieved that she was saying something.

"Takato? What do you mean by 'you created him'?"

"Yeah!" Exclaimed Impmon finally, getting to his feet on the stool that he had been standing on so as to get a better view of the former leader of the Tamers. "You care to explain why there was a dark colored version of ol' Pineapple Head living in Guilmon's old den and why he felt the need to try and blast your dad?"

"Wha…?" Takato looked over at Impmon in surprise before glancing at his father and looking him over to make sure that he was okay, to find to his own relief that this was the case. He almost couldn't believe that the BlackGuilmon had attacked his father, but then, he did try to destroy him earlier at the construction site…

"Yeah. That's right," said Impmon, breaking Takato's line of thought. "That version of Guilmon took a go at your father. Lucky thing that I was there or else… well, I'm sure that you can get the idea. Now, what I want to know is why you say that you're responsible for him even being here…!"

"Impmon!" Exclaimed Jeri, giving the rookie a small glare that told him to let Takato explain himself before asking any more questions. Grumbling slightly Impmon settled back down on his stool and looked at Takato, patiently waiting for the boy to say something. Takato's father got up, attracting everyone's attention as he went over to a cupboard and took out a cup, moving over to the stove that had a kettle of tea brewing and pouring some of the steaming liquid into the drinking cup before walking back over to the table and setting it down in front of Takato.

"Here," Takahiro said softly. "Drink this."

With a shaky breath, Takato took the ceramic cup from his father and raised it to his lips, drinking the hot water slowly and carefully before setting it down on the table, feeling some sense of relaxation spread through him as he began to gather his thoughts. A moment later Jeri rested a hand on one of his own. Looking up, Takato saw Jeri giving him a comforting smile that just seemed to melt away all of his worries. Smiling back, and blushing lightly, Takato looked down at the tea in the cup, taking a moment longer to sort things out before beginning his tale.

"You have to understand," began Takato, almost quietly at first before looking up and meeting their gaze. If nothing else he was going to try and face this as he faced everything else as a Tamer. He had had enough of drowning himself in sorrow and self-pity. It was time to be strong here, regardless of what they thought about his actions. Rika was right. He had been feeling sorry for himself too much to stand up on his own two feet when it mattered.

Not this time, thought Takato.

"You have to understand that I really missed Guilmon," continued Takato plainly. "And that I thought that I could bring him back…"

Everyone present in the room waited patiently for Takato to finish.

The time was late. That is to say, past nine O'clock, which for a fair majority of children, particularly ones as young as the Tamers were, was an especially late time for them, especially since they had school to attend the next day and every bit of rest was required in order to get through it without falling asleep in class and thus, avoid receiving detention as a result. However after the first couple of hours, it had become apparent that hearing out Takato's story, the events at Hypnos, Impmon and Takahiro's encounter with the BlackGuilmon and Lucemon, would take a lot longer then everyone had initially thought. Takahiro and Mei had offered to escort Jeri home once it started to get dark out, but she steadily refused, opting instead to phone her family and tell them that she would be home a lot later from the Matsuki's then she was expecting to be, both her father and step father understanding her unspoken reasons for doing so, as she had been making it a regular habit and not wanting to discourage her helping Takato get through his ordeal. If nothing else they approved of it and wished her the best of luck.

Jeri cradled the bakery's phone for a moment, listening to the dial tone before hanging it up on its receiver and heading back into the kitchen. Takato's parents weren't there, as they were busy performing last minute jobs in preparation to close down the bakery for the evening, as well as just to have something to do just to take their minds off of things. They had learned quite a lot in a short amount of time, and upon Takahiro's advice to Mei it was best that they let some time pass before deciding what to do, if anything at all should be done, about it, or trust in Hypnos and Takato's friends to handle things and then decide how to react to it afterwards.

Takato was in the kitchen, still talking with Impmon about the day's events, though this time his voice lacked the urgency, suspicion, and intensity to understand everything that had happened, having now come to that point after hearing what Takato had to say for himself. It really was understandable, and even Jeri thought so. That didn't make Takato trying to bring back Guilmon without fully knowing the outcome of doing so right, if it could even work at all either, but given the circumstances, and her and Impmon's relationship with the boy, it only seemed natural to view it from a sympathetic viewpoint.

Impmon saw Jeri enter the kitchen and nodded to her, and a glance from the brown haired girl silently told him that she wanted some time alone with Takato. Respecting Jeri's unspoken wishes Impmon hopped down from his seat and strode out of the bakery's kitchen, offering Takato a look of commiseration before departing.

In the silence of the kitchen, Jeri moved a stool closer to Takato and sat down next to him.

"You okay, Takato?" Jeri asked quietly.

"Yeah," said Takato softly. "I'm…"

Takato paused, and then sighed. It had become too much of a habit to just say that he was doing fine whenever he had been asked that question, left over from when he had to keep Guilmon a secret, having to shoulder the responsibilities of being a Tamer, keep up a strong image during the battles against the Devas and the journey's throughout the digital world so that no one would have to worry so long as he appeared to not worry himself… it was a habit that had eased a bit when his family and friends had become aware of the existence of digimon and he had to hide things from them less, but for the most part he felt that there were still some things that he had to face alone, just as he had wanted to carry the burden of Guilmon's death and the circumstances surrounding it on his own without involving anyone, especially Impmon and Jeri, and where had it gotten him? Because he had felt that he couldn't share the weight of his friend's death the pain had all but crushed him and he had gone and made a rash decision, one that he would feel the repercussions from for quite some time to come.

"No," Takato said after a couple seconds of introspection, and upon realizing that he didn't want to lie to Jeri, Takato felt that the time had come to finally open up, like he should have from the start. It was, after all, what friends were for.

"No, I'm not all right, Jeri. I've been a fool. I acted like a fool. I really thought that I could bring back Guilmon and make things what they used to be… I missed him so much and all I have now is a big hole where my heart used to be. I should have guessed that I wouldn't be able to bring Guilmon back. Not the Guilmon that I first created anyway. Nothing could replace him and I can't believe that I forgot that one basic fact."

Takato suddenly gave a light, forced chuckle.

"He was, after all, one of a kind…"

Jeri looked at Takato softly, her eyes radiating all the love and understanding that came with deepest and strongest of friendships and reached over and gently took one of Takato's hands into her own, giving it a light squeeze. Takato looked up at Jeri and smiled at her, and Jeri smiled back.

"Takato," Jeri said, her voice just barely above a whisper as she said his name before her voice grew stronger as she continued onwards. "I know what you're going through. Leomon… my birth mother… I've experienced the kind of pain that you're going through, and I know the sort of things that it can do to you if you just bottle it up inside…"

Takato nodded, fully understanding what she meant. However unintentional it was on her part, the evolution of the program known as D-Reaper using Jeri's negative emotions from the deaths of Leomon and her mother, was a rather dramatic example of how things like anger and sorrow could affect a person's life, and Takato had experiences of his own with that as well when his rage over Leomon's death had given birth to Megidramon and nearly destroyed the digital world just so he could make Beelzemon pay for what he had done.

Jeri continued.

"You know that whatever happens to you, you don't have to face it alone. We're all going to be there for you, and we'd all like to help you if you'll let us. I know that it sounds late now, but… we all care for you Takato. You mean a lot to all of us…"

"I know," said Takato quietly. "I just wish that I remembered that. I feel like I've let you all down…"

"Takato," said Jeri, her voice becoming firm now, as though getting ready to berate the boy for even entertaining such thoughts. "You've never let us down. You may stumble sometimes but everyone does that every now and then, and when you do that's what we're here for. Don't go thinking that you're a disappointment as a Tamer or as a human being because you're not. You've done a lot of good things in your life, and you've helped a lot of people. There aren't many that get to do the things that you've done, or even choose to do them. Just because you've made a mistake doesn't mean that you're a let down… it just shows that you're human. No different from the rest of us."

Jeri smiled at Takato again, and Takato smiled back.

"Thanks Jeri," the boy said, grateful that Jeri was there, supporting him despite what he had done. That was just like her though. Always ready to forgive someone, no matter what it was that they had done, even if it was something that had wronged her. Still, Takato wished that he could have spared her the knowledge of Lucemon's reasons for coming to the real world and destroying Guilmon. Jeri hadn't expressed much surprise when Impmon had told him about that bit of knowledge that he had gained during his fight with the celestial angel, but that didn't mean that she wasn't affected by it, and the same counted for Impmon. It was clear to him that they were both greatly disturbed by it, and would remain that way for some time to come, both of them feeling as though they had a part played in Megidramon's existence, Impmon probably more so then Jeri, but there was nothing that he could do to change that. Nothing anyone could do to change it. What was done was done, and it all remained in the past. The only thing left was to continue moving forward.

Takato's heart skipped a beat as he felt Jeri fold her arms around the boy and pull him into a hug, holding him close to her tightly as though striving to drive out the demons that had caused him so much pain to begin with. As Takato wrapped his own arms around the young girl, he felt warm tears trickling down her face as she held him, crying for him and his loss, and for the memory of Guilmon who was no longer there to be with Takato when he needed the crimson dinosaur the most.

"Oh Takato…" Jeri cried as they embraced each other, the kitchen of the Matsuki Bakery their only witness.

Takahiro had finished stacking the last of the crates and, after stretching his back to relieve the tension, headed back to the entrance to his home. Memories of the encounter with BlackGuilmon and Lucemon, and later the conversation with his son, traversing their way past his minds eye as he reflected on them. Once more Takahiro wished that there was something that he could do, but unfortunately it was just out of his league as a parent and as an adult. What more could he do but trust in his son and hope that things would come out for the better? He was just a baker. He couldn't write programs, and he didn't have a digimon or a digivice either for that matter, so he couldn't involve himself directly as he would only be in the way. All he could do was give Takato his love and support…

But then, perhaps knowing that would be enough. It had been enough in the past when Takato and his friends had gone to the digital world to rescue Calumon, and then battle D-Reaper. Things may look bad now, but that didn't necessarily mean that they would continue to do so. Things would surely brighten up in the end, right?

Except that Takahiro knew full well that the world, the real world anyway, did not operate one hundred percent on just hopes and dreams. The real world was not the kindest of places to live in. Perhaps he should just accept the facts. Guilmon was gone and he wouldn't be coming back…

I can't think like that though, thought Takahiro as he stood in front of the door. My son has proven enough times that hopes and dreams do have power, even here. Maybe they can again, if we wish hard enough…

The sound of something, perhaps a garbage can, being knocked over across the street in another alley reached Takahiro's ears. Turning he looked around, seeing nothing.

"Hello?" Mr. Matsuki called out, not quite sure knowing why. For some reason the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up, and a sense of nerves began to build up within him. Perhaps it was just leftover from the day's excitement. Yeah, that was it. Nothing more.

Shaking his head, Takahiro opened the door to his home and walked inside, wondering what events tomorrow would bring.

BlackGuilmon stared at the bakery with cold, golden eyes and tested the air with his nose. Yes, this was the place. This was where the scent was concentrated. The boy that he had encountered earlier… this place was his dwelling. Here the black lizard would get his answers.

But… there was something about the bakery. Something that held BlackGuilmon from just going up and crashing through the window and solve whatever mystery it was about the boy that held his present curiousity. Perhaps it was the presence of the familiar digimon from earlier that he sensed. The one that could digivolve. Or… perhaps it was something else. Something that made BlackGuilmon hesitate, as though not wanting to do anything that would stain the bakery that he stood before. And he had had a perfect chance to get in too! When the human adult had come out, had paused upon hearing the noise of BlackGuilmon accidentally bumping into a large, metallic, cylinder shaped object and knocking it over, and when he had called out to see if anyone was there…

But of course, predators never answer their prey.

Something had stayed BlackGuilmon's hand, or rather his claws. He wasn't sure what, but he felt that rushing in to face the human child would defile something. Something important. Whatever it was, the feeling was strong enough for BlackGuilmon to pause and reassess the situation.

No. He wouldn't do anything right now. He would wait. Wait until the boy was out in the open and then… then…

BlackGuilmon sat down on the ground, his cool yellow eyes reflecting the moonlight like twin, miniature, Earth-bound stars. He would get his chance soon enough… all he had to do was be patient.

A/N: I had wanted to get this up sooner, but events kept me from really working on this installment as much as I would have liked, so sorry for the longer then usual late, and thank you for being patient. After this chapter, the final arc of the story will begin, and we'll get to see some action kicking in. 'Till next time then. Later.

-Crazyeight

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