Chapter 26 – The way I want you makes me fear you
(Verse from the song "Love gives, love takes")
The next morning the weather was wonderful. After the storm of the previous day, all the clouds had been swept away and a bright sun shone in the perfect clear sky, warming the temperature and picturing a marvelous, keenly colored autumn day.
Kahlan walked relentlessly smiling behind Cara, who stubbornly wore her pout and frowned at every snapping twig or creaking leave, taking care of leaving several paces of distance between her and her hassling comrade. The Confessor was instead amused and kept on remembering with beaming features, the awakening of that morning.
Kahlan had slowly emerged from her sleep finding herself all wrapped into Cara; the blonde had turned around during the night and was sleeping on her side facing the brunette. The Mord-Sith's head was resting against Kahlan's neck, she had one arm folded around the brunette's side and the other stretched as a pillow under both their heads. Kahlan's arm was spread on Cara's flank, her hand leaning lazily on her backside, while her legs were tangled with the blonde's. Cara's breath was tickling Kahlan, who was softly inhaling the pleasant scent of rain coming from the other woman's hair. The warmth radiating from their connected bodies was delicious and Kahlan - still half folded in her slumber - didn't want to move from this place for nothing in the world.
They had already slept together in the past, during the Seeker's quest, when they had shared small beds in some inns. Sometimes it happened that in the morning they found themselves closer than what would have been considered proper. This nightly each other's wrapping was accidental, without any by-end and none of the two ladies never wasted a word about it. Now the Confessor wondered whether it was completely accidental on the other woman behalf. She was sure that Cara would never take advantage of a sleeping Kahlan, but maybe the blonde's body had reacted on its own accord when her controlled manners were softened by the sleep. Maybe this could have happened by a time in which Cara had secretly felt something for Kahlan.
Cara began to move in her sleep and Kahlan giggled by the increasing tickle in her neck; these motions made the blonde suddenly wake from her slumber and consequentially realize her questionable position. The Mord-Sith snapped her eyes wide open and brusquely agitated to disentangle herself from Kahlan's grip, unceremoniously yanking. She involuntarily pulled long raven hair and elicited the brunette's acute "Ouch!" which Cara simply ignored.
The crisp of the morning air made the blonde slow down the scuttle from that protecting warm shell, but the awkwardness of the position and her wounded pride, forced her to keep on her way apart from Kahlan, who immediately missed the sweet warmth the other woman's body had provided her until that moment.
The Confessor decided to be clement with Cara and left her busying with rekindling fire and dressing, without teasing the other woman. In the matter of five minutes the efficient Mord-Sith was ready. She threw a brief glance to Kahlan, who was still rolled into a ball within the blankets.
Cara muttered a half voice "…hunting." and rushed out of the cave with such a momentum that it seemed she was escaping from some ballistic Shadrin nuzzling inside the cavern. Kahlan remained still for long moments, absent-mindedly basking in the leather scent which had remained entangled within the blankets and foolishly smiling.
She didn't know why the blush on the blonde's cheeks was making her feel so merry.
Until evening that single word was the only one which got past over Cara's lips, but Kahlan didn't care, she was completely happy.
Other than the remembrance of their awakening, the Confessor's mind was relentlessly returning to the memory of the previous night, in which Cara had let her come and stay close to her, though her supposed scare about the confession. But more than this, Kahlan was recalling how the other woman had admitted, without the slightest hesitation, that she trusted the Confessor. And she did it in that peculiar way of Cara's: pretending it meant nothing, but perfectly knowing it meant a lot, for the both of them. This was the Cara that Kahlan used to know. The one she had so terribly missed.
After sunset they settled camp for the night in the open, in a spot sheltered by thick pine branches. In these terms it was safer remaining clothed, so that they could fast react in case of sudden danger. After having spread the protective dust, Kahlan put her bedroll near Cara's and though the blonde deeply scowled seeing this confidence toward her, she didn't complain. Again she let the Confessor wrap around her red leathers to provide what the blonde obstinately repeated to herself was only physical warmth.
Before they fell asleep, Cara spoke for the second and last time that day.
"Goodnight Kahlan."
The brunette's heart just soared. This was the first time Cara called her by name instead of Confessor since a very long time... Kahlan struggled to recall when it had been the last time she heard her name from Cara's lips and after a while she remembered it.
It was the moment before the Confessor died in the Magic Maze; Cara was crying for her and begging her not to leave her.
Kahlan shut her prickling eyes, briefly squeezing tight the body within her arms and savoring the sweet relief coming from the awareness which only now was pouring down on her and warming her heart: her Cara was really back.
The next day the marching women reached at last the slope of the mountains and left the rugged paths immersed in the woods, to use to reach soon a broad even road, which led them to a small village. After they entered there, Kahlan immediately blamed herself as she should have given some recommendations to Cara before getting into the small town, but now it was too late.
The peasants were watching them with wide scary eyes and most of the people changed their way before coming near them. Cara's Mord-Sith uniform wasn't exactly a welcoming sign and the glaring looks or threatening snarls she was spreading all around, weren't an encouragement for the local folk to consider them simple travelers. Kahlan eyed some armed guards, staring at them with narrowed eyes and hands gripped on the hilts of their swords, as the two women made their way on the main road, looking for a stable to buy horses.
While the Confessor's head was turned to look at the guards, she didn't notice a little girl running in their way and didn't pay attention to the loud alarmed voice of a woman coming from the distance, until the brunette stumbled on said girl. Cara instantly extracted her Agiel and grabbed the child with the other hand, lifting the little one up with tiny feet dangling in the air.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing little bugger?" Cara barked to the child, staring at her with a glacial scowl, instantly bringing the terrorized girl to tears and incapable of uttering a single word.
In the matter of few instants the situation got incredibly messed as both the girl's panic-stricken mother –whose alarmed voice Kahlan had heard few moments before - and the guards equipped with unsheathed swords, approached the two women to rescue the endangered child. Everybody on the alert after Cara's blunt reaction.
Kahlan had to resort to all of her diplomacy skills and the resolve of the Mother Confessor, to dismantle the potential bomb that was about to explode. The Confessor managed to keep both Cara and the warlike soldiers at the bay, asking everybody to lower the weapons and ordering Cara to leave the girl, who immediately leapt into her mother's arms; both of them trembling in tears.
The brunette profusely apologized for the misunderstanding and asked for forgiveness, promising that such a regrettable happening would not repeat in the future. When it seemed that the soldiers were lowering their guard even so slightly, she questioned about the stables stressing that they needed horses to leave the town very very soon. The captain of the guards glared at her for a while then gave her instruction with skeptical tone. Kahlan bowed her head in acknowledgment of the courtesy and replied a thanking word, reaffirming that they didn't want any trouble and were doubtless leaving the following day. Then she stepped near Cara and energetically patted on her shoulder to make her move. While walking off, Kahlan felt the hostile eyes of the people gathered in the place, piercing their backs.
Before reaching the stables, Kahlan grabbed firmly Cara's upper arm and tugged her aside in an empty alley.
"Cara what the hell was that before?! We cannot allow to draw the attention! We have to be wary!"
"You've just told it, we have to be wary. That could be a trick or magic." She retorted dryly.
"That was a child! She couldn't hurt a fly!"
The blonde looked back at her with an annoyed frown, clearly chewing a sour reply, but refrained from complaints and limited herself at unwillingly nodding. Kahlan slightly smiled acknowledging the effort her obstinate friend was making to admit that the brunette was right. Then the Confessor seized the moment and exposed a substantial list of things Cara was forbidden or compelled to do, among which figured the order not to call her Confessor.
"Why shouldn't I? Aren't you a Confessor any longer?" Cara argued crossing her arms around her chest.
Kahlan puffed in annoyance for the omnipresent need of questioning from her companion. "Nobody has to know who I am. Darken Rahl must not know I'm not in the Confessors Palace anymore. Dennee is disguised playing my role in Aydindril while I'm here."
"And how should I call you?"
"What do you think about Kahlan?
.
After buying horses and after several of Kahlan's elbow planted in Cara's ribs suggesting the blonde to pay for the steeds, to skip the extraction of her Agiels with the aim of obtaining the best mounts available, to abstain the loud curses for the excessively high price and finally to avoid the deadly threatening if horses were not worth the price, well, after all these exertions, Kahlan decided she really deserved a good and restoring meal! For once Cara agreed nodding and massaging her aching ribcage.
They reached the only inn of the village and entered in it, making all the noises, chatter and music instantly cease. All the faces turned to them and a low murmuring hung over the ceiling of the crowded place.
Cara stepped forward and put her usual predatory grin on. It seemed that she liked to be at the center of the attention of frightened people, doing her best to elicit gasps and forcing everybody to lower their gazes under her adamant boldness. Obviously this stance was carried on in spite Kahlan's recommendation at keeping a low profile. They walked in and behaved as everything was perfectly normal. After a while the curiosity of the people faded and the heads slowly turned back; the noises came back at the previous volume and the peasants returned to their business.
Cara and Kahlan chose a table, then the blonde went to order the dinner for the both of them, returning after a couple minutes.
"I ensured our meal will be satisfying." She declared, while sitting in front of the Confessor with a confident smug smirk.
"Cara, I forbade you to threaten anyone!"
"Hey, I did nothing you wouldn't do." The grin always firm in place on the malicious enticing lips.
Kahlan was largely doubtful about this last assertion, but when the trays arrived she forgot about her worries and literally dived herself into the steaming bowl of inviting onion soup and the abundant dish of roasted succulent lamb and potatoes, served with a side dish of fried artichokes and zucchini flowers. The appetizing food was quaffed by a huge ale mug. After all, the Confessor was happy that Cara took care of ordering the food, despite her questionable persuasion methods. Their diet during the days in the mountains had been definitely poor and the only animals Cara had managed to hunt in those arid lands were a skinny rabbit and a couple of semi-starved pigeon.
The excellent meal they received put both of them in a good mood and the Confessor even glimpsed one or two small attempts of a smile on the blonde's face; every time this happened, Kahlan's mouth spread out wide in sympathy. After finishing their banquet the two women stood up and the brunette felt her head slightly spinning, for having eaten and drunk maybe a little too much, after days of deprivation. They both approached to the counter and Cara asked for the key of the room she had formerly ordered.
Kahlan eyed the captain of the guards they met before, sitting at a table with some of his men, few paces away from her. He was staring at her with a serious face. Suddenly he stood and walked to them; the Confessor instantly guessed troubles coming along.
The man applied to Kahlan with furrowed eyebrows and a grave tone.
"You look an honest and loyal woman. You dealt with courage and trustworthiness the accident occurred before."
Kahlan didn't understand where the man wanted to get at. Cara turned her head with frowned face and focused eyes, immediately stepping at the Confessor's side.
"Is this Mord-Sith forcing you to follow her?" The man resumed. Kahlan was astonished and remained at a loss for words for a moment.
"My men and I can help you to set free from her. Say the word and it'll be done." The captain insisted. Cara decided she had had enough of this twaddle and barked:
"You and your men can take your pestering noses out of my business. She's following me freely."
"I'm not talking to you, Mord-Sith." The last word was spitted with all the possible disdain. Then the captain stared again into Kahlan's eyes and added. "I can't imagine any reason for which an honorable woman should follow this monster."
The brunette was still confused and opened her mouth to explain, but before she could utter a single word Cara moved placing herself between Kahlan and the captain; her blonde head still turned to the man. The Mord-Sith was canting her armed hip and stretching her arm toward it; the Confessor thought she was about to extract her Agiel and softly called the blonde's name in warning.
But oddly Cara's right hand didn't land on her own belt, but on Kahlan's. The red-gloved hand grabbed it and yanked the Confessor toward her until their hips collided against each other. Cara was staring at the captain with a challenging smirk, then she suddenly rotated her face to Kahlan; the same bold grin still firm in place on those beautiful features. The unpredictable Mord-Sith rose her left hand and held the back of the brunette's head, whereas the other hand moved from the belt and reached the other side of Kahlan's face, holding and pulling her close.
Closer and closer…
A part of Kahlan's brain understood what was about to happen, but was completely ignoring why. And honestly couldn't care less. All of a sudden the only thing filling her mind were the full rosy lips approaching to hers. The only thing she could think of was that she should recoil from this craziness, but the impossibility to do so, as her whole body was screaming in longing for the kiss about to come.
And it came.
Kahlan's eyes fell closed at the moment Cara's delicious lips captured her trembling ones and began to kiss her. The blonde was slowly, sweetly, engulfing Kahlan's lips inside her mouth, softly brushing them against her impossibly soft ones, making them sensually smack and emitting wet sounds that drove Kahlan completely dizzy. Cara began to move her soft warm tongue on Kahlan's mouth, eliciting shudders from the head down to the feet in the brunette. The Mord-Sith purposely lingered for long moments on the languid contact, passing her wet tongue on the entrance of the Confessor's mouth, until it compliantly parted expecting to be soon graced and filled by Cara's presence. But the Mord-Sith instead avoided to dive in; she only limited herself at teasing the other woman in a way which made Kahlan achingly crave for the kiss to deepen.
The Confessor instinctively sent her own tongue to meet Cara's to invite it in, dancing and sliding on its surface, to taste the blonde's warm sweetness, but without succeeding in the task of bringing it inside. Instead Cara's tongue flicked around Kahlan's then the blonde's lips sucked it into her mouth making the Confessor emit an indecent moan from the deep of her throat. To hear this exquisite sound made Cara's lips curl into a smug grin. The blonde released the other woman's tongue but caught her lower lip, gently sucking it and stretching it a little, before slightly biting and finally releasing it, mouths reluctantly apart. Cara concluded the effusion tilting her head upward and briefly licking from Kahlan's upper lip up to the tip of her nose, unmistakably completing to explain – in a way beyond words - the obvious reason for which this woman was freely following her: the brunette just belonged to the Mord-Sith, who could play and do whatever she wanted with her. To her.
Kahlan was heavily panting, while Cara's smirk was always firm in place; darkened sea-green eyes staring at shocked and fearful blue ones. Cara backed a little, leaving her hands from the Confessor's head and looked again toward the blushed and gaping captain. Truth be told, all the faces of the crowded hall were turned to the two women and freaked out; everyone was holding their breath and there was a plenty of slacken jaws. No sound was perceivable in the whole wide room.
"Your lack of imagination is your problem captain, not mine." Cara declared lapidary, with a triumphant malicious look. Then she turned to the wide eyed inn's keeper and growled: "Where's my room key?!"
The man hurried at placing the object in the Mord-Sith's hand and the blonde moved, holding a flaky, totally reddened Kahlan on her elbow and leading her supposed mate up to the stairs. Their steps were still the only sound audible in the whole hall.
When they entered in the room, Kahlan's legs had still the solidity of a jelly and her head had slowed the frantic spin down only a little bit; she felt utterly groggy. She was barely grasping what had just happened. And still couldn't believe it.
Cara had kissed her.
Kahlan's lips were still burning recalling the touches they had just received. All of Kahlan was burning with a desire she had felt maybe once in all of her life, even with Richard. She was shamefully wet in her panties... her breath was labored and her heart hammering... her skin was prickling, nipples stiff against her corset and her sex pulsing low pitched...
No, she had definitely never felt this aroused before!
And to think that she'd been doing far more with Richard than this. They never hazarded to get too far in their exchanges, but for sure she'd experienced more with him than a kiss skirting around the edge of becoming deep, but ultimately remaining a shallow brushing and lapping at each other's lips. Cara's perfect full silken lips...
Kahlan just couldn't stop thinking of that couple of soft lips which prowess effortlessly drove her to a squirming bundle of craving. And what about Cara's taste? A hint of bitter ale, but mixed with something else... something wild and citrus and entirely Cara's... something Kahlan wasn't completely capable of describing or correlate with anything else she'd ever tasted before. Something Kahlan – in spite of her guilt - wanted to taste again in another kiss, and then another and another… And she wanted them by all means to turn deeper and harder. She wanted to feel them all over her, she wanted those kisses to heat her up, to consume her…
She vigorously shook her head trying to set herself free from this snare. How could Cara have managed to reduce her this way? Few touches and the skilled blonde had switched on her arousal with unerring confidence, as if Kahlan was clay in the blonde's capable hands which she could shape the way she wanted. The brunette felt her insides clenching by the eventuality of savoring that renowned Mord-Sith's pleasure experience…
Kahlan shut her eyes and sighed; she was feeling utterly vulnerable in her longings and frightened by how wrong and forbidden were these thoughts she wasn't anymore able to suppress. This unforeseen kiss had slammed open the doors of impossible dreams she had always successfully managed to keep tightly squeezed in the back of her mind. But now they were flooding wildly, conditioning her judgment and making her lose the grip. She was shaken and scared by those dreams.
Instead Cara didn't seem to have any reaction; she entered in the room and moved as if absolutely nothing had just happened. The blonde put down her backpack and removed her belt and gloves, placing them on the small table near the bed. Then she walked to the water filled basin and washed her face and hands. Seemingly she was perfectly at ease and not at all touched by the experience.
Kahlan stared at the bed they had to share for that night and quivered at the thought. Everything seemed different to her now. One single kiss and her whole world had turned upside down.
Why?
Why had Cara done such a thing? Why was Kahlan feeling this way? Hot and bothered and confused...
She wanted to ask, but Cara was acting so naturally… She wasn't affected by what had happened and was failing of noticing how much Kahlan was. Or if she realized it, she didn't show. Either way, it was clear that she didn't care. And this was tearing at Kahlan's heart.
The Confessor removed her pack with still trembling hands and began to prepare for the night, hoping that a night of sleep could help her to see things differently under the daylight. But even before completing this reasoning in her mind, she eyed Cara already undressing. How was Kahlan supposed to get by the night with the blonde lying close to her? Kahlan made her best to keep her look away from the enticing Mord-Sith, but she miserably failed. Her head turned despite her will, and she found herself staring and admiring Cara's back. She lingered on the sinuosity of that wonderful body: the perfect dip of her spine, the softness of her curves balanced by the tautness of her toned muscles. Creator, Cara was really beautiful…
But that was nothing new, that was something Kahlan had always known, she chastised herself. So why observing it now sounded so wrong, unfair, forbidden...? Kahlan just kept her eyes glued to the other woman's form, while the blonde wore her skimpy sensual shift. The covering the garment provided wasn't of any help to dissipate Kahlan's lustful thoughts, rather its provocative style managed to increase the allure of Cara's shapes.
Cara climbed onto the bed, laying on her side, with her face turned to the wall of the room, probably wanting to leave the brunette privacy for the undressing. An unusual regard form the customarily shameless Mord-Sith. And in this-upside-down world, Cara had become considerate and Kahlan wanted her to be the brazen woman she used to be and intensely look at her, and enjoy the sight of a slowly stripping Confessor and let it show her appreciation. She craved to elicit that same hungry and gratifying sea-green gaze she had seen in the cave two nights before. And she wanted much more than appraising looks...
Kahlan sighed and began to swiftly prepare herself for the night as well. After few minutes she slowly sprawled herself on the mattress with her back against Cara's, bodies close but apart. An unwieldy silence heavily hanging upon them. The Confessor deeply inhaled seeing that the blonde had no reactions in the change of habit they had shared in the past two nights, when they had slept hugged. In this warm room there was no need for it, but Kahlan was missing that contact and felt sad, realizing that she was the only one.
She sighed again.
.
After a candle mark of dense noiselessness Cara was quiet and the brunette could hear her light breathing; the blonde wasn't still sleeping. Maybe she was thinking about what had happened as well? Kahlan had tried to clear her mind from this confusion; she had tried to fall into oblivion, but she knew herself too well and expected to spend several candle marks in further pointless wondering, despite her tiredness.
She needed answers. She needed to know.
"Why did you do it?" Kahlan finally released the demand that was torturing her, intensely staring into the dark room, whereas the other woman – unseen - was as much intensely staring at the wall.
Cara exhaled a small sigh; the blonde knew this question had waited in ambush for her since the past hour and she nimbly articulated the answer she had come up with. "It wasn't meant to offend you. It was just a kiss." Her tone was flat, nearly annoyed, but despite her supposed ease, Cara's look remained stuck on the wall, whereas her whole body laid still and stiff.
"You shouldn't have done that." Kahlan's voice was already cracking.
"Don't waste your minds on this Conf-… Kahlan. It was just the faster way to get rid of that snooper." Again the annoyance peered out of her words, but mixed with an unmistakable hint of reassurance. "And it wasn't half-bad, don't you think?" This time she sounded almost playful, but a certain tremble at the edge of the Mord-Sith's voice betrayed her tense. Only Kahlan was too lost in her own worry to perceive it.
Cara's words should have soothed her – Kahlan thought - light her mood perhaps, but somehow they made her feel worse. She was so close to Cara and equally she felt her thousand miles distant from her, with their backs hostilely one against the other. She wanted to say more, but managed only to murmur again:
"You shouldn't have done that." But even the Confessor didn't exactly know why. She only felt that this kiss shouldn't have happened. That the line shouldn't have been crossed.
"Why are you so upset? It was a put-on. Nothing that deserves your grudge." The blonde argued, but her words had turned warmer than before and apparently aimed only at fixing things, rather than complaining as it would have been reasonable to expect from her. But again the Confessor didn't catch this clue.
Instead Kahlan sobbed, sensing burning tears gathering behind her closed eyelids. Cara was right, it was a fake; there was nothing true in that. And this was exactly the point. Because - though Kahlan consciously ignored it - the answer she had hoped for was the opposite of the one she had just received. This kiss had stricken Kahlan… it had moved something deeply inside of her. It hadn't been a mere physical exercise, something she could easily handle with and remain impassive about, like Cara was clearly doing without the slightest effort. The brunette was regretting having kissed Cara because it had made clear that she was affected by the blonde, whereas the latter wasn't even skimmed by her. Let alone by something silly like regrets for a petty kiss traded with a blundering Confessor. The experience had meant absolutely nothing to Cara; she was a cold detached Mord-Sith after all.
The Confessor lowly whimpered. She had felt so happy the night before when she had sensed that she was progressing with the recovering of her friendship with the blonde. It had seemed to her that Cara cared for her, but now it turned out that she was completely astray. Besides after having kissed everything between them was once again utterly messy. At least for Kahlan who didn't exactly know what it was that she wanted from Cara and probably friendship wasn't an exhaustive term. Not that the brunette had an idea about what term could pinpoint her relationship with Cara. Given the recent events, friend sounded somehow both an excessive and an incomplete definition for her companion.
Kahlan had attempted to get close to Cara after their parting, but found herself much closer than she'd wished. And looking more closely, she had found that Cara was still on her back, so now Kahlan was stepping back afraid and ashamed. One step forward and two backward; it worked this way with the Mord-Sith.
After this kiss, Kahlan couldn't any longer pretend that she wasn't strongly attracted by Cara. She had denied it for so long... She didn't even consciously know when it had started, but now she was forced to admit that it was painfully real. In this kiss she had felt a physical lure making her lose control and this was scaring Kahlan; all her Confessor's alarms were full-volume ringing. Attraction and arousal weren't conditions she could afford and especially if a Mord-Sith was involved. One she cared for. Cara...
Cara was a woman… The Confessor had never felt inclination for women, before. How came she had now? Actually she wasn't feeling inclination for women… only for Cara...
How came it that the brunette's body was now aching by the longing to turn and flush against the woman lying in the bed with her? But not in the innocent way she had done in the past two nights. No, after having sampled an addicting sip of Cara's fire, what Kahlan wanted now was to feel the blonde's warmth enveloping her, to fall trapped into her spell from which the Confessor knew there was no coming back. Kahlan wanted to slide her hungry hands all over those amazing smooth curves, bury her nose into silken blonde strands, turn that precious back around and stare at the awesome sea-green mysterious eyes, getting lost in those pools of pure lure. She wanted to cover the distance between their bodies and probe Cara's tautness, feel the twitch of her muscles as they played beneath tanned skin, whispering against milky skin. Kahlan was eager to learn about her charming shapes, map her countless scars, sample all of her textures. Kahlan longed to venture on Cara's leather-scented skin and explore it with her lips, until she found the other woman's mouth and then receive the deserved prize for that successful quest: another heated kiss, followed by countless other kisses and touches and…
No! She had to suppress these frightening reveries. Those desires were so wrong and for so many reasons…
Richard.
How could she think those things about someone else other than him? He was the one she was supposed to love and to be attracted by. Why was she feeling him so distant now? So dim and flat, like the memory of an imagine since long time unseen. Like the idea of a past gone by...
Cara.
Kahlan knew Cara was once in love with her; how could she be so unfair to wish being close to her now that the blonde was free from this suffering? At the point they were, lingering near Cara could mean damaging her, maybe even killing her. Kahlan couldn't even figure this out. And Cara, maybe she found the Confessor attractive, but nothing more than this. Exclusively physical appeal; something Mord-Sith are used to easily dealing with, without the inconvenience of feeling any sort of engagement.
Kahlan couldn't allow herself the luxury of desiring someone. The same old Confessor's blast she had always successfully carried on her shoulders so far. It oddly promised to be more difficult to resist the temptation this time and Kahlan wondered whether it was because it unexpectedly came from another woman, or if it was because that woman was Cara and the impossible seductiveness which was impressed in her like her natural tan was impressed on her skin.
Regardless if it seemed different or harder, Kahlan had to keep Cara away from her; the more distant the better. The Confessor struggled and willed her mind and body at bearing her duty: persist in obligations and overlook regrets; clenched teeth and toughened resolve. Despite all her willpower it took many candle marks before her body surrendered to cool down and let the sleep come to embrace her and give her some respite from her anguished longings.
.
A/N
i wish you all a happy new year guys! hope you liked this chapter.