(A/N) I will start with an apology for being late. Work is just really tough these days. Really, I am trying.
Now, just so you know….
This chapter is still rated 'T', but it is a true 'T'. So, if you are familiar with US movie ratings, this would be a solid PG-13. And, it is 34 pages. I even cut stuff out. :Hangs head in shame:
You will notice that the tenor of this chapter begins on a very different note. It is for a reason.
Yes, it is steamy, but it is also heavy. This is meant to be sweet and laden with emotion. For all of you who have stuck with me this far, I hope I give you what you wanted. This is my interpretation of why we love Ichigo and Rukia. For all of the things we see outside, the depth of their reasoning is what gives their relationship power. Each of them, in their own right, carries a great deal of baggage; each understands that the other is broken. Through simply being themselves, they repair the other. Closest to motive, they seek to do so. As with everything they do, it is done with the grace of a hippo. But the end result is beautiful and meaningful, in its actions. Even in the thin lines between their words, the truth is spoken. I hope you find that it is even more amplified when all of it comes together.
That is the way I hope for the rest of this to go and that it quells the fears of anyone who worries about any 'M' rated fiction that I may write. I hope you can see that they really do love each other, sincerely, deeply and passionately.
On the other hand, if you have been bored for the last few chapters, I apologize. I was trying to make this chapter, plausible. Hopefully, this will make up for it :)
I want to thank you all for your reviews! Thank you to: rissakee2, GhibliGirl91, Bankai guy, ihavenoname23, , Yuna-TheAnimeLuver, blades of blood488, Thunder Claw03, ChAoS-iN-oRdEr, novicestar, Shippuuryu, Destiny-of-your-darkness, narakunohime, rukiaichigo12, LeyCoo, hitsugayatoshirou1220, okami11235, Aizawa Ayumu Oz Vessalius, KurukiXV, Carrie96235, 09ice, ichiruki88, CharmedNightSkye, and darklover.
Special gratitude to Darklover for telling me how to post the last chapter. And to amputatedheart for the lovely drawing and ichiruki88 for the video! I will get the links on my profile this week.
Thank you for favourites and alerts, too. I would love to hear from you!
There isn't much else to say. You will tell me if I accomplished what I wanted.
I neither own Bleach nor its characters. I also do not own Killzone.
Chapter 26-Dreams Realized and Prayers Answered
She wonders if Ichigo is still awake. Actually, she kind of hopes not. Right now, she doesn't want to talk about what is coming. It will be one of those discussions where he wants to rant and have assurances and… she doesn't blame him. She just doesn't feel like it, tonight.
What she wants to do is eat something warm, get in his 'Nice Vibe' t-shirt, wrap a blanket around her tightly and unify her fragmented thoughts. Before anything else can be done, she needs to realize the events of the situation.
Beginning with the call from Bya-Nii last night, to her dreadful worry all morning…only to have to deal with news from Nii-Sama, once again. I was so afraid of never seeing you, again. When she left the car, she fearfully wondered if that really was the last time she would see Ichigo. She kept it inside so that he would not have fear in his eyes, the last time she searched them.
Next, was the bomb her brother dropped on her and…she is actually happy to say that she feels that she has a Bya-Nii. A small smile forms on her face.
A scowl replaces it. The horror that was the council meeting... Seriously, she always knew those people were cold. What she endured to be one of them, she would never wish on anyone. It was a horribly lonely life. Not is… was. Her smile comes back in a wide fashion. Yes, was.
Rukia feels good about the progress she and her onii-sama have made. In this venture, they have to have a relationship that is almost equivalent to she and Ichigo. Each of them knows that their own survival relies on the survival of the other. It is in their best interests to look out for their sibling.
Today meant a great deal to her. For as crazy and ugly as this will be, she would not decline. Kuchiki Byakuya has shown her many great honours, today. She has seen his private room; he has protected, and implicitly blessed, a relationship that she holds dear above all others. Her brother knows that she loves Ichigo more than life itself. He gave her another blade to wield to guard Ichigo, should it be necessary. She can protect her Berry's life. Nii-Sama also knew what the clan and Soul Society would do. He looked for the loopholes that both societies had not exploited. And, he did something that he has never done.
Nii-Sama leveraged what he has never leveraged for himself; he hid her behind noble law. The irony had to make him laugh. A group of people, who adopted her because Nii-Sama wanted to give Hisana-Nee-Sama her dying wish and hate her to the fullest, will be led by her and forced to respect her word. Further, laws that were meant to protect them will be protecting her. Evidently, Bya-Nii delivered what he had promised Hisana-Nee-Sama.
Based on his room, he loved her very much. It almost broke Rukia's heart. Almost, nothing. It did. At certain points, when they were going over the paper work and what everything means, she would look at the photos in the room of them; together. His expressions were so different. It is almost like another person.
Her sister adored him more than words could say. Rukia could see it in her eyes. Rukia feels a light sting to her eyes and she wills it away. It was like looking into a mirror. That is exactly how she looks at Ichigo. Her eyes begin to tear. Dammit, don't you dare fucking die on me.
Tilting her head to the sky, blinking rapidly, and taking a deep breath…ten…nine…eight… When she finishes, she exhales slowly.
She now understands her Nii-Sama's pain. When her sister died, he was left with a hole in his chest that he can never fill. For a while, he just yielded to it and fell apart. When he finally reconstituted himself, he came out walking like Kuchiki Byakuya. Inside, that man had died.
With his position and rank, he was left alone in a world with no one to trust, confide in, love or be loved by. Poor Bya-Nii…I'm so sorry. He only got to be with Nee-Sama five years. He has been alone for the last four and half decades.
His candid pictures of her sister portrayed a different side of him. The way he chose to shoot them, was extremely revealing of Nii-Sama's true self. The pictures were often taken when she was smiling or sleeping. That was especially true from the side…in the spring with the cherry trees in full blossom. But the ones that were most interesting were the ones where Hisana-Sama was scowling…fiercely.
The small girl lets out a light laugh. Reminds Rukia of two other people she knows.
The man preferred pictures of his wife as she was. Not who she pretended to be at the mansion, but her real self.
Rukia understands, fully. That is how she and Ichigo take pictures, as well. She catches him asleep or looking away; sometimes she gets him by surprise. Yet, the best are when he is aware that she is looking at him. His gaze meets hers and he smiles warmly, out of reflex. Quickly, she snaps the picture. Her chest begins to heat. Yes, she can understand the way Bya-Nii took pictures.
She and Bya-Nii are now as close as a blood relation can be. After almost 45 years of being the lowest on the list…Rukia has to chuckle. She is above them all, but her brother. Furthermore, the Clan Leader knows of her closeness to a ryoka and approves. By now, the whole family is trying wake themselves up from this nightmare.
Bya-Nii chose her over the Clan, just like Hisana-Sama. He chose to hold on to someone he loves and defy the family, than to do their bidding and live a life completely alone. Rukia has to respect him for his fortitude; she has to love him for what he has done.
The girl's eyes begin to sting, again. Small lips turn upwards, as tears roll down her cheeks. For all of the shit that happened today, there were some good things that came out of it. He wants to be family. He wants to be my Bya-Nii.
Rukia stops dead in her tracks, removes her gloves and begins to wipe her face. Something about that thought pulls at her heart. He no longer accepts her as his imouto-sama; he wants her as his imouto-sama. Her chin trembles as she forces herself to hold back from sobbing. This is a day that she would have never imagined happening; ever. To say that she is moved, is an understatement. The small girl has never allowed herself to even dream of such a thing.
Using the same technique as before, she calms her body. When she finally opens her eyes, she wipes her face again, puts on her gloves and re-starts her stroll.
She needs her emotions to get settled so that she can think, tomorrow. Today has been very hard and these are the types of days that cause herself and Ichigo to fight.
Already, based on the phone call, he is going to his normal playbook. He is worked up over an issue that has never been one before. The only reason that it is an issue now, is that …that he is in the same boat she is. I'm scared of losing you.
He has always done something like this before she had to leave. He would make a nonsensical argument just so that he could get rid of the stress. And, sometimes he wants her to assure him that she will be back, right after the fact. He knows damned well that she can't and it hurts her that she can't give him something he wants. But, she will not lie to him. She may keep things from him, but she will not lie about something like that.
If she can get over herself, tonight, she will be ready for him, tomorrow. It will be Saturday, and he will be sniping at her all day. If they were in school, she could avoid him. Tomorrow, she won't be so lucky.
Rukia figures that if she comes to him in the morning, the rest of the day will go much better. Because, for all of the shit he talks, Ichigo really doesn't like to fight with her. So, he avoids it until he gets up enough nerve and anger, then he blows. That is an all day process. If she fights him in the morning, she shaves a few hours off of the day from hell. By dinner time, he will be civil. Sunday, he will be reasonable.
Rukia knows it's selfish, but she needs tonight to be about her. She can't console him until she can console herself enough to be reasonable. Everyone needs a time to acknowledge that they are broken, allow themselves to stay that way and then, reassemble. She is at point 'b'. Tonight, she is ready to have a small pity party and get her shit together.
Tomorrow, she will help Ichigo cope and bolster his resolve; but hers needs bolstering first. She wants to give him what no one gives her…the bottomless hole to crawl into until you are ready to face the world, again.
Coming upon the steps, Rukia stops and takes off her hat and gloves. After one good healthy sniffle, she puts the contents of one hand its closest pocket. Out of the other, she pulls out her keys and comes to the lock. She can see a flickering blue light coming from under the door. Ichigo is awake. She can feel his reiatsu. Oddly, it is not on fight level. He's zoned out. Maybe he's in his inner world. Rukia scoffs. She couldn't get that lucky.
As quietly as she can, she puts the key to the lock, to make her way into the house.
Gods, today has sucked. Un-fucking-believable.
He is about to lose Rukia, again. And there isn't shit he can do about it that won't cause them to be hunted. Fuck.
This is how shit, for them, always works. There is always something going on or some asshole that makes it necessary to fight. Then he has to let go of her to deal with that bastard. After that is over, Soul Society yanks her from him. But this time…
This time, even if Byakuya doesn't come through, he is going to get her back. When he handles Aizen, he's not giving up all of his powers. Ichigo is going to kill the fucker. Then, they sending Chibs to him, at the agreed time, without any delays or bullshit, and that is that. They aren't getting away with the threats and lies they pulled for the last two years. He isn't having it. Those bastards want him to help them and do them a favour, all of the time? Well, they are coming off of something he wants. Period.
Perhaps Soul Society has forgotten how seriously he takes Rukia's wellbeing. If they attempt to stop him from being with her, he will remind them. This ain't gonna be like it was three years ago; he knows how they fight, how they operate and, pretty much, how the Seirietei is laid out. And, unless something has really changed, not one of them would be able to take him. He would roll right through those bastards, including Gramps, almost unopposed. Yes, he is aware of how powerful he was, is and is becoming, once again; even if he doesn't like to use it that way. But, for Rukia, there is no depth to which he will not go, if they hurt her or try to use him against her.
They do not want him as an enemy. On the very first day, after the second month, he will be there, if she is not here. It will not be a friendly visit. Fuck that. They have, exactly, one month. He is mortally serious.
Normally, right about now, he'd be ready to snap in half. He'd be stressing about the fact that she may not come back. Or, he'd be worried that she may be injured badly.
The second worry had also been and is being mitigated. Rukia has a bankai; she is stronger and will be on mission with him; in his sight. If Renji brings it up, he'll get hit in the face. There will be no separations on this mission.
Okay, so his starting with her, earlier, was subterfuge. He always does that when it starts going down this path. He knows it's dumb but… He has to find a way to let her go.
If he can get himself pissed at her, then her leaving is not so…painful.
Then again, now that he's had a few hours to think things through, he's getting Rukia back, regardless. So, he can stop flipping out about that, and just be sad that they will be separated for a while. He is going to miss her and worry about her.
From this moment, until they leave, he just wants to enjoy the time they have. He doesn't want to waste it fighting with her about something they can't change. For two years, he wished that he could get that type of wasted time back.
Ichigo will never take his time with Rukia for granted, again. He will tell her things as if tomorrow may never come.
This is very hard for him. Not since his mother, has he been so close to another person. For a long time, he had this horrible internal struggle.
Okaa-San was his most revered person of all time. She was kind, gentle, sweet and even stern, when she needed to be. He chuckles a bit. If anyone was handing out a spanking, it was Kaa-San, not Oyaji.
She hugged and loved Ichigo. She kissed the minor 'owies' away. Kaa-San made him brownies when he got into a fight. There was no bad situation she could not chase away.
After her death, he didn't want to love anyone, too much. Of course he loves his family, but for a while, it was more about loyalty than the feeling of love. He blockaded himself from love so his heart could not be broken.
When he needed to, he could go back to the memories of those feelings from when his mother was alive. They were always wonderful; always perfect.
Somewhere along the line, he began to refer to memories less, and look forward to tomorrow. Another day, rather than; Another. Day.
He started to look forward to his future. The past was finally in the rearview mirror. Though his mother was, and is still, excruciatingly dear, another person began to fill the void in real life; someone who was and is very, very equal to his mother's level of emotional influence.
Over the two years of Rukia's absence, he often wondered if that was what happens when you don't uphold your mother's memory properly. Did he fail Kaa-San? Had he disrespected her memory and that was fate's payback? After all, his mother gave her life for him.
By the time two months ago had come, he had run out of options and places to go for assistance. He had tried hope and denial. Neither worked. When he finally asked his ha-ha for help to get Rukia back, she did. Rukia came back the next day. Ichigo smiles warmly. Kaa-San approves of Shortness.
Since Rukia has been back, outside of the weirdness that is and probably will always be their lives, he is so happy. He never wants to give it up. It is the only thing that keeps him tied to reality.
On his way down the stairs tonight, he asked his mom to bring Rukia back, after this crap with Aizen. He has no doubts that Kaa-San will deliver. Kurosaki Masaki has never failed him.
The boy believes that it is no coincidence that Zu, Karin, and Kaa-San like Rukia. The opinion of every woman in his family is favourable toward the one he holds in his heart. She will be the mother of his children. His family has embraced her; Rukia is a Kurosaki. She is the one. It is okay to love Rukia above all other things. Something inside of him has a weird feeling that they were meant to be together.
He just has to convince her. He smiles even more. It will be fun. It will be a new challenge. The first, was getting to know her all over, again. With that done, here is the next. He still loves challenges. His current goal is to at least get legally married to her before they leave for college. If he had his way, they would get married before they left high school. Yet, he knows that is socially frowned upon. He needs to give that some thought. When he can afford a real wedding she will have that, too. But he has to get a ring first.
After this Aizen shit is over, he has got to really start saving up the money. He wants it known that she is spoken for and she is his.
His face falls. After Aizen. He lets his head fall back to the couch, and closes his eyes. His stomach tightens and his brow furrows sadly while his eyes squeeze tightly. They just want to be together. Why can't people just let them have a life? Why can't they just be a man and a woman?
An expression of understanding relaxes his face and he opens his eyes. They can be, here. In this house, they are just Ichigo and Rukia; nothing more, nothing less. Unpretentious, his Ruki-Chibi buzzes about the house ordering him around and playing with his sisters. She showers Oyaji with her version of affection. The poor bastard loves it. Just like with the twins, Goat Face lets her get away with murder. Then again, who is Ichigo to belittle? He's just as in pocket.
On the other hand, when Ichigo and Rukia are alone, together, it is just him and her; no masks, no lies….only encouragement, affection and a tiny bit of antagonism. That is why she has to see this as her home.
Tonight, in all honesty, he wants Rukia to come home so that he can be next to her. He's not starting any serious fights with her this weekend, either. Ichigo wants to be with the girl as much as possible. He is going to let her blanket him until Sunday, when he'll have his mind right.
Next Friday, however, they are not going to school. It will be a fun day. They will do anything and nothing at all. That will give them a three day weekend, together. A smile threatens to break through, before he snaps his eyes closed and scowls.
Before she leaves.
He hears the key enter the lock and he turns his head back in the direction of the sound.
Rukia.
After standing up fluidly, Ichigo walks softly to the door and opens it before Rukia finishes turning the lock. With his left hand, he pulls the door inward and with his right, he wraps his arm around her shoulders; pulling her inside, to his body. Gently removing her, seemingly frozen, hand and key from the lock, he closes the door and locks it at the same time.
Wrapping his idle arm around her to meet the other, he holds her small body as closely as possible. Inhaling deeply, he exhales his relieved whisper to her ear with blissfully closed eyes, "Okieri, Rukia." After giving her a long held but soft lip press to the face, he buries his nose in her neck and holds it there. His embrace only serves to tighten when two small arms create a death grip around his waist.
The sound of keys hitting a wooden floor would be startling if either set of ears could hear them. However, in their world, there is no such noise. There is no television in the background, no hum of a running refrigerator or the ticking of a clock; only the sound of mingled breaths and heartbeats.
She needed this. His embrace is strong and gentle. His powerful swaddling of her body is better than anything she could have achieved with a blanket, by herself. Her eyes close softly as her mind recognizes Ichigo's smell and her skin recognizes his touch. His warmth and reiatsu encase her and she knows that she can let her guard down.
Pulling his form even closer to hers, she lowly mumbles into his chest, "I'm sorry, Ichigo. I didn't mean to be so mean to you. I…" She is sorry. She's under a lot of pressure and it always makes her grouchy. In Soul Society, she can hide out and not talk to anyone. Here, in a house, with a family, she is has to speak. And, even if she and Ichigo have a way of communicating without speaking, she still has to communicate with him. She can't just wall herself off from the world and repair her emotions. However, with the way he's holding her, she wouldn't want to evade his embrace. "It's just that-"
Stopping her apology, Ichigo cuts in, breathing his premature reply. "Don't. I'm not angry and I was an asshole. We both have the same problem; I understand. I don't want to be without you, either." Squeezing her tighter, he whispers softly in sincerity, "Sorry, Beautiful. I've missed you, today."
Pressing his lips to her cheek again, he releases in leisure; taking the time to lightly drag his lips to their next destination, leaving the heat of his skin and breath against Rukia's face. It is then that Ichigo realizes that though her lips on his face are still his number one favourite things, chocolate has now moved down to third, from second. He sighs from the pleasure his mind registers as his lips skim across her sweet smelling, soft skin. His face is relaxed in complete comfort. He seems to be having the same thought more and more often; the young man can never, ever express in words, the peace she brings him; he would be unable to do her justice.
She should get out of her coat and get herself together. However, the feeling of his lips lightly caressing her skin is so…so…amazing, that she wants to fall into it. She wants to immerse herself in his breath and melt into his arms. Her scowl is non-existent and her jaw holds no tension as it lolls toward the ground. Even her face muscles have given in. She looks like she is asleep with her mouth ajar.
He depresses his lips to her temple and, after feeling her expression convert to one that matches his, in the same tone he requests, "Let me take your coat." As he whispers, her grip loosens.
She hates to break contact with her Berry, but it is a necessity. Rukia nods dumbly, detangles herself from the boy and unbuttons her coat while he stands upright.
He just wants a close and quiet Friday night with Rukia. He doesn't have to be at work tomorrow, she has nowhere to go, everyone is in bed, and they both need to be covered in affection. As stupid as it sounds, sometimes, you don't want reasons or reasoning. You don't want a pep talk, or to be cheered up. You simply want to sit in your shit state and let your mind have a break before it has to handle something that is hard to deal with, at the current moment. And, for them, this will be very, very hard. Especially, after tonight.
He is going to tell her how he feels about her. He doesn't want to start over when she comes back because, by then, they will only have about six months before they graduate and go to college.
He wants to get a one bedroom apartment.
And he doesn't want her in his closet, either.
He wants to sleep in the same bed, in the same home with his wife.
He notices the change on her face and can tell that she is close to tears. Don't cry, Rukia. It always makes his heart clench when she does that.
Rukia's mind wanders to the horrible inevitable. She almost wants to cry. In a little over one week, for up to two months, she will be without him, once again. Her emotions feel like someone reached inside her chest, took a hold of her heart, and crumpled it like a piece of paper. This is going to hurt so very, very, badly.
She will tell him the truth, tonight. He might as well know, in case she doesn't make it out alive. He will know that, even in the last moments of her life, she indeed loved him.
Tomorrow, they will come to terms. Tonight, they will just let their souls commiserate.
Rukia's lachrymose thoughts are put in check and her eyes lid when his hands reach inside the flaps of her coat, at the collar. His fingertips crawl forward and massage the base of her neck, while his thumbs rub the area just below her ears. The girl's head begins to feel so heavy as her neck relaxes, that she allows it to simply fall backwards.
It takes all of the will she has not to moan in relaxation. If he keeps this up, her whole body will be a puddle. Rukia can almost sleep on her feet. She can feel the stress begin to leave her body. Just his touch helps her let go of the things that she cannot change.
Continuing his motion, he asks while preserving their quiet, "Did you eat anything?" He smiles watching her head fight to stay coherent. She needs to let go. She looked worried as hell when he saw her. Ichigo can tell that all of this has already had her crying. To see her cry, makes him flinch; to be the cause, is sickening. It makes part of him, hate himself. The other part of him feels good to know that he can take some of that off of her mind.
Separating his hands, he runs them over her shoulders and down her arms, effectively, removing her coat. One hand holds the garment while the other arm holds her to him, as he drapes over her to lower the cream coloured, wool fabric enough to get it past her arms.
His closeness is all that she could ever want. The heat from his body to hers is like a having a blanket wrapped around her. Her mouth speaks her mind's, truthful, automatic reply. "No. I planned on heating up some leftovers, when I got here." Her whisper is slight. Rukia feels Ichigo back away from her to hang up her coat and collect her keys; she instantly misses the contact. Where she had once felt so warm, is left cold and empty.
The boy frowns. She called it 'here'. He is going to take that up with her; he will change her way of thinking…tonight. But first, she should get out of her uniform, put on her sleep clothes, and wash her face. He knows how much she looks forward to that every night.
I almost forgot… After turning to and standing in front of her, once more, he requests, still whispering, "Put your arms around my neck."
The orange-haired boy bends forward and the raven-haired girl does as she is asked. She wonders why he wants her to do so, but decides that it doesn't matter. She trusts him and will let him proceed with whatever he has in mind. He would never do something to hurt her.
Ichigo's large fingers press into her thighs as he stands and picks Rukia up. Once at full height, he wraps them around his waist. Taking a few soft padding steps to the couch, he seats her on the back.
Retreating slightly, he takes his right hand and raises her left leg behind the knee. Using his left hand, he grabs the back of her new black Mary Jane flat. Carefully, he removes it from her petite foot and gently drops it to the floor. Next, he takes hold of the sock band and slowly pulls it down, allowing the backs of his fingers to graze her skin. He works the hosiery past her ankle, around her heel and away from her foot. After laying the sock over the back of the couch beside her, he repeats the actions on the right side.
When both shoes and socks are removed, he steps forward while holding her feet in each hand and rubbing them. They are as cold as ice. She has been walking for a long time. He lets go of her feet he rubs her legs from her calf to her skirt hem. The motion is done gently, but quickly, to generate heat. He revels in their softness. So much so, that he slows down and allows the backs of his hands and fingers to indulge, as well. "Rukia, why don't you go take a shower and put on your pajamas. I'll heat you up something and make us some hot chocolate. How does that sound?" He continues to trail her legs up and down with the backs of his fingers in a slow and pleasurable pace.
Rukia is perched on the furniture with her hands still using his shoulders as support. It sounds heavenly. She would love to take a hot shower and get into comfortable clothes. To wash her hair and get the grime of the day off of her, is the best thing she's heard of in hours.
Her mind wanders to the imagery of being in the warm shower and having everything that weighs on you run down the drain. There is the wonderful feeling of hot water hitting your tense skin. It slightly burns at first, because it is foreign. However, once you get used to it, it becomes so utopian, that you don't want to leave.
That is kind of like what his leg tracing is doing. Her legs were so cold, that she had almost lost feeling. Ichigo has warmed them and her feet so that there is natural circulation, again. Just one more reason in the book of 'Why I Love My Berry'. Plus, he is keeping things quiet, so that she can calm her nerves. Indeed, the best man she's ever known. Ichi's a keeper.
Her face smiles in her amusement at her own thoughts. He is wonderful. Bringing his head down to a level that is even with her face, her lips put forth the ghost of sound in his ear. "Perfect. Thank you, Ichigo." Her lips attach themselves to the skin below his ear and work their way backward. She begins to leave small, butterfly kisses and follows the form of lower portion of his face. His light stubble does not bother her. Though his five o'clock shadow is a bit rough, the skin between is smooth and warm. Her soft lips press to him, enjoying the delicate perceptions of contrast. She can feel his bottom jaw slack and a contented breath escape his throat.
Once she has finished his jaw line to his chin, she concludes, "I don't want to wake the rest of the house. Do you mind if I don't dry my hair?" She knows that he is going to want to cuddle. And, he may not want to sit with a wet shirt. She will understand. If it bothers him, she'll wait and wash her hair in the morning. But she would really like clean hair, tonight.
He knows how much Rukia likes to be clean after a day like today. That is the reason he was so adamant about her getting a bath on her first night here. It always makes her feel better when she can get a hot shower or bath before she goes to sleep, so that she can calm herself. It helps her rationalize.
He could always tell when she was going back, in the past. She tended to take a lot of long, hot baths during the week. She would wait until the twins went to sleep and sneak out to do that when everyone in the house was assumed to be in dreamland. However, he never slept when that started. As soon as the water started running, he woke up. All of this is part of her coping mechanism and he's totally good with it.
That will make her feel more relaxed, clean and stripped of all of the shit they have to cover themselves in, tomorrow. But, bless her for those kisses. Something in his mind just checked out. It was like his whole brain went from a standing to a sitting position. It is that subdued. As calm as he is right now, he could care less if her hair was soaked. Besides, who is he kidding? He likes running his fingers through her wet hair. "Nah, go for it."
Lifting her off of the couch and on to her feet, he kisses the crown of her head. "See ya in a few, Shorty."
Kissing his cheek in return, she replies quietly with an adjoining smile, "Later, Berry."
Finally up the stairs, Rukia goes into the boy's room. She is surprised when she opens the closet door and is greeted by Ichigo's 'Nice Vibe' shirt, a pair of underwear, towels and a big hair clip. A note is laid on her pillow.
C-
Put your old clothes outside the door of the bathroom. I'll pick them up.
-I
C? Oh, yes. Chibi. Rukia smiles warmly. Jackass. He thought of everything.
Collecting the items and her toiletries, she almost silently makes her way to the bathroom. Her quick, light and bare steps do not render much of a noise through the hallway. Once inside, she sets her clothes down and faces the mirror. Gods, she looks terrible. Her eyes show her fatigue and if her skin colour gets any lighter, she'll be translucent.
Turning away, she unties her uniform bow, unbuttons her jacket, then her blouse and throws them all onto the floor by the door. She proceeds to remove her skirt, and it is sent to the same place as her other garments. Turning to the mirror again, she removes her hair ornaments and lays them to the side, taking the time to untie her hair ribbon.
Her eyes fix to the message and a sad smile forms on her face. You're the best of my life, too.
Once her hair is free of objects, she bends her head forward and uses her hands to comb through it from the bottom. Her hair is super long, for her. It's now reaching her bust line and its thickness, along with its weight, are kind of a pain. Then again, she knows that Ichigo loves her hair. He plays with it, constantly. However, she's not letting it get to Inoue status. Just below her bust line is as far as she will go. And that damned bang-
A knock at the door with a mumbled voice changes her mind's direction. "Ruki-Nee, I have to pee. Ichi-Nii is in the one downstairs and I bet he's reading in there. I know you are getting ready for bed, but can I go to the bathroom, real quick?"
Rukia knows what Karin is talking about. If Ichigo is camped out down there, you don't want to be the person following him…unless you have one of those…what is that game again? Ah, yes; Killzone masks. Karin has seen her in her underwear- they used to share a room. "Come on in, Rin."
The younger girl turns the handle and cracks the door only enough to let herself through. Not wasting any time, the girl closes the door quickly and gets down to business. Her relief is evident in her words even if her eyes refuse to open completely, do to their sleep induced swelling. "Sorry to do this to you, but I think my back teeth were floating."
Rukia snorts. "I wouldn't go down there, either. If we could bottle that smell and put it into a weapon, hollows would kill themselves."
After flushing, Karin goes over to the sink to wash her hands, where her eyes finally fall on the older girl. Her low, though animated, voice reveals her surprise. "Damn, Ruki! Where did you get the hips and boobs from? I didn't know you were hiding that under your clothes! I thought you were built like me. Has Inoue seen you in your undies?"
Rukia's head falls forward and her face turns pink in embarrassment. Maybe it has been a while since she has been seen in her underclothing. "N-no. I have nothing to compare, as far as she is concerned. I dress quickly and efficiently. I am too underdeveloped to be seen by anyone, but you and Zu."
Karin gives her a crazy look. "What are you talking about? If Zu saw you, she would have you at that frou-frou underwear shop, tomorrow. Some bullshit about accentuating your assets. All I know, is that a bra that makes my boobs itch and costs my entire allowance, is not that important. Anyway, if Inoue saw you, she'd be really jealous."
Rukia shakes her head. "No. She is well endowed on all fronts. She is pretty, she has pretty hair, large breasts, wide hips, and a narrow waist. I am barely shaped like a woman. More like a girl."
Reaching past the older girl to dry her hands, Karin replies, "Stop being so…I don't know…stupid. You look really good Ruki. And, you've got quite a lot of junk back there."
Violet eyes stare back in confusion. "Junk?"
Karin stares back. "You know, junk in your trunk?" What the hell goes on in Soul Society? Don't they have any idea about pop culture?
"I am afraid I still do not understand." Rukia looks behind her, and all she can see is the bathtub and the towel hamper.
The younger girl face palms. "Your ass, Ruki, your ass. You have quite a bubble butt back there. Your butt is your trunk and the fullness of it is how much junk you have. Guys find girls with round asses attractive. Does Ichi-Nii know you have that going on?"
"He doesn't even look at me that way. I am sure he hasn't really paid attention." He mentioned it once just to win a game, but that isn't the same thing.
Karin moves toward the door and scoffs. "Don't be so sure. He pays attention to more than he lets on. 'Night, Ruki-Nee."
"Karin!"
Said girl ducks as a towel comes at her head and laughs as she leaves the room. She pulls the door shut, and it clicks to satisfaction. However, the towel wedges between the door and the frame, creating tension between the two pieces of wood.
While Rukia walks about, doing her pre-shower tasks, the weight displaces on the floor and relieves the tension on the door. Eventually, when Rukia begins her graceful padding to the shower, the barrier silently and slightly opens. It goes unnoticed during her careful placement of toiletries.
As a result, the gap leaves a small crack that is in the direct line of site to the sink and mirror, from the dark hallway.
A dilating amber gaze attaches to the image in the mirror and surveys it, in full, from top to bottom. Her long, messed up hair lies delicately across her shoulders and back. While it is true that she is not falling out of her bra, she is not as small as he thought. She is rounded and well formed. Her shape is not drastic like a Rangiku-San or Inoue, yet, equally as beautiful; in fact, even more so.
After what sounds like the shower coming on, her body moves to the sink to brush her teeth, and he almost chokes. Her belly, back, and posterior are more perfect that he could have ever imagined. She is muscular, but still fleshy, down to her astounding legs.
He had come up to see what was taking so long and overheard Karin and Rukia talking. He stopped to listen when Karin commented on Inoue seeing Rukia in her underwear. Midgie's response kind of upset him.
Why does she not think that she is pretty? Just her face, alone, is worth the price of admission. But her small, creamy little body is absolutely stunning. More importantly, doesn't she know that he thinks that she is the most gorgeous thing he has ever seen? Between that black hair against her pale skin and the perfect teasing of the pink lace bra and panties she's wearing, he can barely keep his nosebleed in saddle.
He almost laughed at the references to Rukia's rear. Of course he knows. He sees her in a short skirt five out of seven days. The front is flat, but the back is poofed out. He doesn't have to be a genius to figure it out. And, he's seen her in Zu's old pajama shorts. Evidently, he's been successful at keeping his favourite fetish a secret.
When her hands go behind her back to remove her bra, Ichigo decides that he should go back down stairs, for a few minutes, and return to collect her clothes. If he sees anymore of her, he won't be able to control his mind and body, at the same time. And, he has to. If not, he runs the risk of making a mistake that will cost him more than he can bear; he must win her heart.
When he does win her, he will have a long, long time to see her luscious body up close and kiss it with all of the attention it deserves. His personal mission in life will be making her feel as beautiful as she is.
Showers are wonderful things.
Don't get it wrong; she loves baths. But showers are like a bath-light. No, you can't soak in the wonder of suds, but you do get the happiness of hot water without waiting for the tub to fill.
Letting her head drop forward, she allows the extremely warm water to run down her body. She can feel the stinging needles of water penetrate her skin and infuse her with the power of its warmth. This is where she does her best thinking. There is no noise but the faucet and her thoughts.
Karen is silly. No one would see Rukia that way. People don't notice her, because there is nothing to see. It is not that she begrudges her build. From a fighting stance, to have a super-endowed body is a liability. But, from a feminine perspective, she would like to look a little different.
She wishes she had breasts that were a bit larger. She's not trying to have her chest enter the room first, but she wouldn't mind if she could fill out a dress a little better. She also wouldn't mind gaining some more weight in her hips. Maybe her body would look more proportionate. She might even look better if she had more colour. Should she get one those spray tan things that Ran gets? Maybe Ichigo would find her more attractive.
He is beautiful. His hands and feet are so large, they are adorable. She giggles at his facial expressions when she calls him a tree frog. But his upper body is…she wants to purr. His lightly defined muscles under his shirt, when pressed to her face, are a state of perfection. She would love to touch his skin and watch him flex under her fingers…under her lips.
Maybe, someday, she will know what it feels like to be…desired by him. It's not that she wants to throw him on the ground, rip off his shirt and smother him with kisses…yes, she does. She wants to know how to make him happy; how to please him. However, she also needs to know that she is the only person he wants. She wants to be the only person he touches and kisses. Granted, he doesn't treat anyone else the way he treats her, Rukia needs a guarantee.
It is only him that she would ever consider being fully unclothed for; the person she would consider being married to and being intimate with.
The young woman cannot even fathom another man touching her, the way he does. To be held next to him is one of those things that she can't get enough of. Rukia feels like she melts into him and she can't tell where his body stops and hers begins. Anymore, the level of touch is so passionate that all of her senses stop working. Well, not true. The problem is that she can only sense stimuli that originate from the Fruit. The more she touches him, the more she wants to. His breath and lips on her skin makes her body let go off all else that that could be wrong. When her hand is inside of his, she has a feeling of absolute belonging. When she is wrapped inside of his arms, she is in a world of her own.
She almost feels badly for the way she looks forward to cuddling with Ichigo. Her eyes close in calm when she recalls the sensation of burying her nose in the crook of his neck and shoulder. He smells soooo good and he feels so warm. His hair is bright and insane but it is soft to the touch. His eyes are powerful and captivating. It is no wonder that all of the girls chase him. Look at her…she's chasing him, too.
This is so scary. She has faced down many things in her life that made her almost piss her pants. However, this is the scariest. If she loses Berry…
Ichigo. She hates the idea of leaving him. Hopefully, they will be able to just be together, tonight. Neither of them wants to fight and…it seems like he's going to miss her as much as she's going to miss him. She hopes he doesn't go nuts when she tells him that she loves him. But, she can't keep it to herself any longer. Besides, this is a logical point at which to do this.
The girl turns and begins to wash her hair.
If he does not return her feelings, then she will soon already be in a place where she can wall herself off, for a while. She can make the decision whether or not she wants to come back. She knows that it is wrong to feel that way, but she needs a place to go where she can just…let her heart die. She is in love with him and, at the base of her being, she does not believe that she can love another man.
As she rinses out the conditioner, she hears the door creak further open. She knows the reiatsu. In a whisper, she calls out, "Berry?"
The boy answers while only his arm is in the bathroom. "Yeah?" He isn't even trying to sneak a peek. Rukia is absolutely naked behind that curtain. When he gets to see her entirely without clothes, he wants that to be a surprise… and because she wants him to. At that point, they will be looking at each other. Not too much longer after that, they will be making love for the very first time. He can wait; there is no point in ruining the best gift he could have. He wants that to be emotional, consensual, private and…because she is as in love with him as he is with her…because she promises to marry him. "I'm just grabbing your clothes."
The girl answers quickly in her hushed tone, "Oh no! I trust you. I was just going to ask if you could slice up some cucumbers." If there is anyone she trusts not to take advantage of a situation, it is Ichigo. She just wants his attention. He's not like that.
The boy smiles. She still expects the best of him. "Salt and pepper or balsamic?"
Rukia thinks for a second and wrings the water out of her hair. "Umm…balsamic and a little sugar. Oh! And, some pickled ginger."
"Kay. How much longer you gonna be?" He'll finish getting her food ready if she's almost done.
"I am almost ready. I will be down in about ten minutes." Her hand reaches forward and she turns the water off.
Ichigo notices the absence of one sound and the addition of another. Rukia is wringing her hair, so she's ready to get out. "Alright, see you in ten."
"Kay. Ichigo?" Her soft whisper asks.
"Yeah?" he replies
"Thank you." Rukia's smile is conveyed in her inflection.
He can't stop his smile from widening. "You're welcome, Rukia. Hurry up."
The girl chuckles. "I'm on my way, Mr. Impatient."
"Shut up, Chibs. See you in a couple." The boy jokingly chides.
"Bye."
She hears him close the door and walk down the hall. The small woman gets out of the shower and goes about drying herself so she can get dressed. She can't wait to be next to him.
Please don't run from me, Ichigo. I just want to love you and be loved by you.
Ichigo separates her clothes into their respective piles, and then hangs up her uniform skirt, jacket and bow. He puts the white shirt with his pile of shirts. What the hell would you categorize pink as? Colours? Maybe light colours? Who the hell knows? Yuzu has laundry next week. She'll figure it out. He just usually guesses. And today, it looks like her underclothes belong in colours. Sorry, Rukia; pick more distinct shades, next time.
He smiles mischievously and closes his eyes. His mind works through many combinations, and he comes to the conclusion that she would be most sexy in dark, saturated hues… like black. It matches her hair, contrasts her skin and would show off her assets with class and definition. Yes, definitely black. He has a future job for Zu. Someone is taking Rukia to that frou-frou shop. Ichigo opens his eyes and goes back to task.
Once downstairs, he washes his hands, puts her bowl in the microwave. Ichigo moves on to starting the hot chocolate and readying her cucumbers.
Sooooo Midget, I am in love with you and I think you might love me too so, how about you and I not date anybody else until I can afford a ring? Then, we get married. Nah. He'll just let out whatever comes to mind. Plus, he prays that she is of like emotion with him.
If she can't find it in herself to love him… Please, tell me that you can love me. This is what he wants more than anything else. More than money, more than material things, he wants Rukia to love him and to let him love her. He wants to know that no matter what, she understands that he and she are to be together. That they are bound forever; he's thinking more of a lifetime plan.
Now, he sounds like a whiny school girl. But, then again, she has been his first for everything else. First close friend, the first hand he held, the first face he kissed, the first tight hug…the first time he fell in love… She might as well be his last.
His eyes rise to the noise that he has been waiting for. His Chibi is coming down the stairs.
There you are.
His face morphs into a warm smile.
On her way to the kitchen, Rukia switches off all unnecessary lighting. Padding into the room, with her favourite Carrot Top, she asks staring up at him, "Can I help?"
Looking down and meeting her eyes sweetly, he answers, "Nope. But…"
Picking her up by her waist, he plops her on the counter. "You are going to eat right here and now so you don't give me any bullshit reasons why you can't finish your real food before you start on the sugar." He knows that she always goes straight to junk. She'll drink that big mug of sugar and milk first. Then she'll be 'too full' for food.
The girl pouts. She really wants some of that chocolatey goodness. Maybe she can talk him into…
"And you can stop with the puppy dog eyes. It's not going to work." Putting the bowl in her hands, he turns around to grab the cups.
Rukia stares forlornly at her food. She wants it and it smells great. But…I want chocolate. Her nostrils can smell the cooked sugar. Yum. Can she talk him into giving her what she wants?
After taking the cups into the living room and returning, Ichigo notices that she hasn't made any effort towards her food. Wearing a stern expression, he quietly begins to admonish his most cherished Shorty. "Rukia…"
"Ichigo, can't we come to an agreement? How about, this? Let me have one drink of the cocoa so I can rinse this down. While I am sure that the food is fabulous, you can see my dilemma at needing something to drink." That is sound logic. He has to say…
"No." When she starts to scowl at him, he chuckles. "However, here is a concession." Strolling over to the refrigerator, he pulls out a juice box and pops in a straw. Bringing himself right in front of her, he takes a drink and puts the box to her side, on the counter. "Here. Now, get busy."
Rukia has to laugh. He just refuses to let her win. "You are such an ass, it is amazing."
He laughs, also. "And your point is? If I didn't say anything, you'd walk right over me." He leans forward. His hands are planted on the counter, outside of her knees and his arms are stiffened for support.
She smiles at him softly, "If I didn't try, you'd think that I didn't care."
"If you didn't try, it wouldn't be fun." After a dark chuckle he adds, "You think it's fun, too; admit it."
She adds her own deep chuckle as well, "I do. Thus, the reason I am always back."
His eyebrows meet. He might as well ask her about that. "Rukia, why can't you ever call this 'home'? Why do you call it 'your house' or 'here'?"
Rukia gives him a questioning look. "Is it not true? Have I misrepresented something? Why does it matter? As long as I am where you are, why does it matter what the place is called?" What is his obsession with this? It has been going on ever since she came back.
Ichigo straightens himself and removes the bowl from her hands. Setting it to the side, he moves closer to her and parts her knees just enough to fit on each side of his hips. He grabs her hands and laces his fingers through hers, resting them on her thighs. Both look down and stare at their interlocked hands.
Rukia loves how his large hand eclipses hers. Wherever he is…is her home. Though the insides of his hands are rough, the outsides are very soft...kind of like Ichigo, in reverse. He is rough and hard on the outside. Inside, he is soft, sweet and kind. She hates this question, but she might as well answer it, if he asks her the right way. It is hard to answer and he may not like what she has to say.
Why does she avoid this question? Her hands are the perfect size. They fit inside his like they were made to be there. He has to know what stops her from saying what he needs to hear.
Rolling his eyes up to hers, he lets go of one hand and moves some of her wet hair behind her shoulder. When she looks up to his eyes, he abandons her hair for her cheek. Stroking the skin gently with the backs of his fingers, he asks in a soft whisper, "Why? Why won't you call this your home? What you said is true, but those are all temporary places...places you visit. They are places with no personal feeling or soul. Home is permanent. It is where you live, Rukia. It is where you always come back to. Don't you want this to be your home?"
She blinks slowly with sorrow. His eyes have a pained look in them. He's afraid of the answer. However, he shouldn't be. It has nothing to do with him.
Her hoarse whisper matches his eyes. "Of course I want this to be my home, Ichigo. You are my home. It is just that, if I call this place my home, I am afraid that I will lose it. If I don't acknowledge it, they have nothing to take from me."
Taking her free hand and playing with his bangs, she adds, "Don't worry, there is nowhere else I'd rather be."
So, it's Soul Society, again. He can deal with them. If that is all, he wants her to speak the words she wants to say.
Letting go of her other hand, he holds both sides of her face. Ichigo leans forward while closing his eyes and brushes his nose to hers. He says with the slightest breath, "Say it, Rukia. Say that this is your home and I promise you that I will always bring you back. Wherever I am, I will make sure that you are, also. Wherever you go, I will be. All you have to do is say it to me. Tell me that this is your home." He can feel her breath escaping into his mouth every time she exhales. His body is relaxing to a level he didn't know was possible. He just wants to…
Rukia's eyes have fluttered closed as well. His breath fans her face. His soft and heavy words dissipate into the air as they reach her ears and make their journey to her mind. He wants her to make a choice between here and Soul Society, and she made it long ago. In the same level, she gives her answer. "Yes, I want this to be my home. I will be where you are. We will be together, and wherever we are is our home. This is where I will live with you." She cannot stop herself from wanting to…
"Thank you, Chibi."
"You're welco-mph." Ichigo has to cut her off…. he just can't take it anymore.
When their lips meet in full, neither of them moves for a couple of seconds. Finally, Rukia moves her lips attach to his upper lip, which makes his pilgrimage down to her bottom lip, a no-brainer.
Both parties pause and separate, ever so slowly. When their eyes flutter open, neither of them has a frown in sight. In fact, both are smiling shyly.
The girl stutters in her reply and looks at her hands, "T-t-that was my first kiss. I-i-it was very nice. Thank you." Rukia's cheeks are very rosy. It was a wondrous feeling that was more fantastic than she could have envisioned.
"Mine, too. Thank you. I hope it won't be our last." He smiles sweetly and brings her face up to look at his. His cheeks match hers. That is something that he would like to do over and over again.
With a half attempted scowl she answers, "It better not."
His only response is a wide, heartfelt smile that radiates from his eyes causing Rukia to do likewise.
Straightening up and passing her the bowl, he instructs, "Now, eat. That should take you no more than ten minutes to finish. I'm gonna make sure the doors are locked and that the rest of the house is out for the night." I have to tell you this, for sure, now. He gives her a soft pat to the knee before he walks out into the living room.
On his way to the stairs, Ichigo's tongue idly touches his lips. His cheeks heat even more while the corners of his lips turn up. Don't worry, Midgie. If this goes as well as I hope, that was just the first of many, many more.
"Fine, I'll get it handled. Don't take all day." It has come to the point where Rukia has to know how he feels before they get any more involved. Gods, I'm scared.
Once Ichigo leaves the room, she wonders if the stupid feeling coursing through her body is why most girls giggle about being kissed. Two slender fingers from her right hand move over her lips and a soft smile moves across her face.
If she didn't have to contend with so much fear, she so would.
When Ichigo comes back to the living room, Rukia is on the couch, sitting on her legs. The blanket is over her shoulders and she seems to be mindlessly watching the television.
He walks past the sofa to the kitchen and turns on the light. Her bowl is washed and in the strainer. She actually ate her food. Good. She'll sleep well, tonight.
Rukia rolls her eyes. Of course she ate it. He was going to check anyway, so she might as well get it over with. And, just like she figured, she is in a food coma. She was so full that she couldn't even stomach the idea of cucumbers. Cucumbers! Ichigo always gives her too much food.
Lifting the blanket back, Ichigo sits down and takes off his socks. After scratching the tops of his feet, he lays the discarded footwear next to hers, on the couch.
Rukia can tell that Ichigo is in for the night. He is down to his bare feet. After television, they are going to bed. Today has been hard for both of them.
Ichigo lifts his arm and says lowly, "Come here, Chibi."
Rukia crawls over to him and freezes. They stare each other in the eye for several seconds. Ichigo whispers honestly, "Don't be scared. It's still me."
Rukia nods and climbs over him to straddle his lap. The boy brings the blanket around them and she sits there absolutely undisturbed, other than Ichigo grabbing her hands.
Smiling at her, he says in a jovial manner, "You do know that no other male is allowed in close proximity, sans family, right? And NO other man is allowed this close." Really, he isn't joking. If any man attempts to get this close, the asshole will be feeling a level of pain he cannot comprehend.
Putting on her fake school girl persona, she pushes out in a sarcastic whisper, "But, Kurosaki-Kun, how will I ever get a date in high school?"
He scowls deeply. "You won't because I won't let you."
Rukia resists the urge to laugh. It's hard to take the scowl seriously when his face is so adorable, but she knows that he is. She raises an eyebrow. "You can, but I can't?"
He drops his scowl and smirks. "Who said that?"
All Rukia can do is roll her eyes. Is he saying that neither of will date anyone? "What if I need a date for something?"
Both of his eyebrows rise. "Like what?"
"Uh, formal events; dances and the like." She responds.
"Hmph…then you will go with me. Besides, you always get into trouble. Normal human boys can't deal with it and I wouldn't trust your safety to them. And, if they tried to touch you, I'd kill'em. So, this is the best plan, ne?"
After her umpteenth eye roll, all Rukia can say is, "Whatever."
Leaning over and kissing her cheek, he repeats very softly, "Yeah, whatever. But I'm serious."
Patting his cheek with her small palm and looking him in the eyes with a slight nod, she breathes, "I know."
Looking down abruptly, she has to get something cleared up. It cannot be ambiguous. She has to know, even if the answer hurts. She darts her dark orbs back up to him. "You said that I couldn't date other people but you never said that you wouldn't." Her eyes are vulnerable. She is allowing him to see her fear and sincerity without her standard mask.
Ichigo looks at her intently. "I thought it was implied." He replies honestly.
"I don't like to make assumptions. If you do or don't, just tell me. Don't lie to me or yourself. If you want to date other girls, just tell me, right now. It's okay, I won't hate you. I can't guarantee you that I will continue to live with you, but I will still be the best friend I can be." She states in a genuine heartfelt voice while squeezing his hands.
He leans forward, offering a soft gaze and inflection to match. "Rukia, stop. I promise you that I have no such intentions. I will not date other girls. I would not betray you like that. I guess I just have to get better at telling you exactly what I mean." Reaching up to move the stray bang, he whispers with the slightest softness while rubbing their noses together and closing his eyes, "There's only you."
His lips capture hers for a gentle and brief kiss. The boy knows that this has got to be a dream. Her lips are so soft.
When they separate, Ichigo blushes lightly. In his effort to curb his nerves, he asks, "Do you want some hot chocolate?"
Rukia smiles just as anxiously. "Yes, I do."
Placing her designated mug into her hands and taking one himself, they both stare into their beverage trying to figure out how to say what they need to. The tension is thick, but not angry. Each can sense the other's anxiety.
Ichigo doesn't know how to start a conversation like this. She's let me kiss her… She has to feel something, right?
Usually, whatever he has to say to her, he just says. However, what he is about to say to her cannot be taken back nor said lightly. If she does not return his feelings, he won't be mad at her…he'll be crushed into a thousand pieces. How strange. A man who prides himself on bravery is deathly afraid of a broken heart. How is he supposed to live without the one thing that makes life worth living?
Rukia knows that this needs to be said. Yes, it is going to change the total nature of their relationship; for better or for worse. He's kissed her twice already, so he can't be opposed to her feelings, can he? If he is…she is not sure that she can recover. Honestly, she knows that she can't. If he says that he cannot reciprocate her affection, her dream of having a life with Ichigo will finally evaporate. She is not sure which is better for her, in the long run; to know the how he feels or to live for an aspiration that will never materialize. Is she really that willing to live a lie in order to not be hurt? While her mind says 'no', her heart tells her that she maybe reconsidering that stance; very soon.
They drink in silence until Rukia asks, "It's different, now, isn't it?" she asks, barely above a whisper. She reaches her small, pale hand up and places the palm against his cheek.
Her closest friend nods while maintaining eye contact, as well. Slightly leaning in to her palm, he answers in equal tone. "Yeah, it is. But, I guess it can't be helped." He slowly moves her stubborn bang around her ear.
Dragging her thumb back and forth across his cheek lightly, but not hurriedly, she asks, "But why? Why did it change?"
Setting the mugs on the end table, the boy lands both palms to the sides of her neck. "Because we changed. Do you miss the way it was?"
Shaking her head slightly but still staring into his amber gaze that seems to bore holes in her soul, she replies, "No, not at all. Do you?"
Ichigo mirrors her movement, still matching her voice tone. "No. Why aren't we pushing each other away, like we used to? Why aren't we embarrassed?" As Ichigo tracks her eyes, he realizes that she is looking for the same thing in his eyes that he is looking for in hers; a small glimmer of proof that their wish will come true.
Placing her other palm on his other cheek, she continues to blink at him. "Because what we had was not enough. I don't know what we're doing. I don't know what our futures will be like. We may be making the biggest mistakes of our lives." His stare is pinning her down. Rukia can tell that he is trying to build his resolve.
Searching her eyes, he can see the uncertainty in them. Bringing his face closer to hers he replies, "Maybe. But just being with you is strangely more than enough. That's all I need to know; that no matter what our futures are like, we will be able to make it work."
"How can you be so sure? You have changed so much since…" she looks away quickly. "Now that your life is different, once again, what if you realize that you want something else out of life? I have interfered so much. One day, you may resent it. Then, there's the concept of time and age. I am technically almost ten times your age even though, in human years, we are the same age. You are going to grow up. Then you are going to college. With all of the girls there, you will surely find one that you will really want to call 'Kurosaki-San' and not just in jest, if that doesn't happen before you leave high school. It's selfish of me, but," she finally looks at him again with a pained expression, "I don't think I can watch it happen. I want you to be happy, Ichigo, with all of my heart. But if your happiness is with someone else, I won't be able to stand it."
The person in front of her frowns at all of the agony that is going on in the eyes of the girl. "Rukia…"
"I know it's wrong. I've chastised myself a hundred times, in the last few months. I tried to rationalize why I was coming back here. I told myself that it was just to help you and protect your family. But, even that lie was pointless." After a heavy sigh, she continues, "There will always be people like Inoue-beautiful, tall, shapely, feminine girls who will throw themselves at you. Hell, I can't figure out for the life of me why you aren't chasing her, right now, instead of being with me. I don't want what I want to get in the way of what you want. If that is all I will end up being, then I shouldn't be here. If I am just one in a pile of hundreds of girls chasing you, I can't be here. If I am one more reason your life can't be normal or if you are just suffering through me to not be alone until you find the type of person you want in your life, then I won't be here."
Ichigo can see how absolutely frightened she is. He does his best to quell the anxiety that he sees in her eyes. "Rukia, don't. You are not wrong for feeling that way and you aren't selfish. I can never resent you. Yes, we both changed, but we will keep changing because that is part of living. You will never be one of hundreds that have my attention. Only you have my attention. Not only am I going to college, but you are, too. And if you didn't get a little possessive, I would wonder if you really gave a damn because I am possessive as hell. It really doesn't matter that Inoue or anyone like her is throwing themselves at me. I simply don't care. I want you here and I only want one girl throwing herself at me. We will be okay; you just have to believe. And, for your information, I have never thought of any other girl as Kurosaki-San other than my Kaa-San; that has never been in jest."
She shakes her head, again. "You don't think it's in jest now, but you will change your mind. I don't have anything to offer you, really. Yes, I have a noble last name in Soul Society, but that means nothing, here. I am just a standard shinigami with no discernable skills other than kido, fighting and drawing Chappy. I can't cook and I would be a terrible human wife. The tallest I will ever be is probably five foot three; though I am wondering what the hell I will get out of going through puberty. I have a seriously bad temper and more pride than height regardless of being, and coming from, nothing. You are tall, strong and handsome, irrespective of your ridiculous scowl and torch of hair. You deserve to be with someone who is picture perfect for you, like Inoue. You are young, you don't know if you will wake up one day and wish that you had never ever met me."
It occurs to Ichigo that he doesn't want to hear Inoue's name brought up, again, tonight. His perfection is sitting on his lap. "You could end up saying the same about me. Look, Midgie, I know you gave up everything to be here with me. I know that there is so much for you to take in and learn so that you can be 'normal' here. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. There will never be a day that I wish that I hadn't met you. And stop saying that you are nothing. Picture perfect on the outside doesn't mean shit to me. It doesn't show you what is inside; it doesn't account for what is in my heart. Even if you are shorter than average," He gives her a devilish smile, "I didn't know your eye sight was so bad. You may not be tall, but you are feminine, very shapely and extremely beautiful. Have you not noticed the looks you get from guys? If puberty continues to be as kind to you as it has been in the last months, you won't be allowed to leave the house, in about a year."
Rukia is very pink. "Shut up. No one can see me, much less notice the way I look. Don't make fun of me." She retorts with a frown.
Ichigo places his lips lightly on hers to say the words that he thought he would never be able to say. But oddly, in this moment, he feels like he is able to open his heart to her and finally let her in without pretense or fear. Something inside him needs to be out, free and honest. It is time to sever the tether of friendship completely. Here goes nothin'.
"Listen to me. You may not be the perfect wife for some, but you will be for me. Forever, I will be with you. You are more gorgeous than you could possibly know. Your eyes are so amazing that I end up saying 'yes' when I really want to say 'no'. From your little button nose to your tiny little feet, I think that you are the most beautiful woman alive or dead. I love your feisty ways, your fierce scowl, your deep and sexy voice," Rukia is turning so red, she thinks that she was going to combust. Did he just use her and 'sexy' in the same sentence? She can tell that he is not kidding her since he is staring a hole into her. Her body is tingling; however, she holds still, waiting for the inevitable 'but'.
Ichigo can see her color and stance change; yet, he keeps going. "your soulful eyes, your heavenly scent, your shiny hair, graceful neck, fantastic legs, cute little four pack and," he leans over to her ear and in a low husky voice he whispers, "your extremely hot little body, including that perfectly rounded little rear." He backs away and looks her in the eye knowing that all of his lust and love is on display to her.
Rukia visibly shutters. She didn't know that words could affect her body like this. No one has ever said something so arousing to her in her life. He's pinning her with a look that she has NEVER seen on his face. Though she can tell that the softness is still there, she can see that he harbors a lust for her that he normally holds back. It's enough to make her heart pound in her chest. And, to her surprise, he isn't finished.
"But more than anything, I love the way you seem to love me even when I don't deserve it; the way you forgive me when I do something unforgivable. I know I can be a complete asshole and I have no right to say this after all of the shit I have said and done to you. But, stop making excuses for why we can't be and just let us be."
He takes the hands that were on the side of her neck and grabs her hands from his face. Lacing their fingers together, one more time, he steadies his gaze and courage to say the scariest words of his life. "My beautiful Chibi, I love you and I have for a long, long time. Kuchiki Rukia, I am totally and completely in love with you. Let me love you and hold you for the rest of my life; here and afterward. Give me your heart and soul and you can have mine, in return."
Rukia is blinking wildly, trying to figure out if she is dreaming and if she really can keep from crying. What he said to her is all that she has ever wanted to hear, for so long. When she can't keep the ear to ear smile away or the tears, she simply gives up and lets the tears fall. "No, I can't give you that."
Ichigo lets his hands slack and his expression becomes dejected. Jerking his head back, he has to ask, "Why?" This has got to be the worst moment in history. He just poured his heart out and confessed to this girl and she is rejecting him? Is she saying that she can't love me?
His gaze goes downward. An incredible amount of absolute fear and pain is starting to well in his brain. His throat starts closing and he swallows a hard lump. Perhaps, all of the things that have happened are too much for her. If he had only believed in her and not been so selfish, he would have never hurt her like he had when she came back. And, all of the girls… Fuck! He knew this would come back to him. Why, why, why did he not wait for her? He…he didn't hold up his end of their implicit deal. Damn.
He closes his eyes tightly for a second. No wonder she's crying. Rukia…I am sorry. He feels like doing that, too. She's probably trying to figure out how to tell him that she doesn't feel-
She tightens her grip on his fingers. Looking at him meaningfully, she responds with her same grin while sniffling, "Because I can't give you what you already possess, Baka."
Huh? Did she just say… His head whips upward and he zeros in on her eyes and face. That is an affirmative. She did just say that she…can…love…me! Ichigo smiles like a complete imbecile. Rukia has made him the happiest man to ever live.
Rukia closes her eyes for a few seconds. She formulates what she is going to say in her mind. Though she is afraid, she is determined to face it down. If she doesn't, she could lose her chance at the greatest happiness of her life. He needs to know.
She snaps them back open and lets every emotion show. "I love the way you let me kick your ass. I love the way you follow me around. I love the way your hair reminds me of the sun, the way your eyes shine when you say my name or see me for the first time, after a long absence. I love the way you look when you sleep, the way you smell, the smoothness of your voice, the warmth in your embrace and the kindness of your heart. I love how insanely tall you are, your face, your enormous hands and feet, your scowl," Looking down, she finishes with an adorable blush, "And how good you look in any shirt or none at all."
The teenager looks away himself. His face feels incredibly hot, but his ego is feeling pretty cool. She has liked what she's seen? Yes, he has heard other girls comment on his looks and he has completely ignored them. Who the hell cares if the one person you want to find you attractive, doesn't? Rukia has never been the type to fall over herself to look at a guy. Yes, she said he looked like he worked out but…she thinks I'm hot? "Um, so, um, you think I look good?" Ichigo asks nervously. He is blood red up to his ears.
With a very, very lecherous look that the boy didn't think that his little death angel could muster, she answers him after leaning forward so that they are nose to nose, "Oh, Kurosaki-Kun", she suggestively whispers, "I think you look very, very good."
Ichigo's breath hitches. He can feel his heart beating uncontrollably. When Inoue says 'Kurosaki-Kun' he flinches. The way Rukia says it makes him want to do bad, bad things; and it sounds like she does too. He will be sure to work that out for her; but in great detail…in time. They have nothing but time, so he doesn't have to be in any hurry. Inwardly he is still on imbecile mode. I can't believe that a woman like you, would find a guy like me, hot. Yes! Maybe today isn't such a shit day.
She wants to laugh. How can he not know that she thinks he's stupid handsome? Has he never seen her stare at him when doesn't have a shirt on? Oh, that's right. She does it when he isn't looking. However, her eyes have told her brain on many, many occasions that Ichigo is insanely good looking. Yes, Berry, you are one hot, hot man.
After a soft and girly giggle from her, he stares her in the eyes and what he sees, makes the hair on his neck stand.
Her eyes hold sheer determination, transparency and so much love that the boy shivers noticeably. Her smile is honest and vulnerable. Right there, he knows why he loves her. She is both beautiful and strong. He is tingling from the top of his head to his toes.
"Ichigo, I love you; more than my life, I love you. You can have all of me as long as you promise to love me forever and be faithful. If you can commit to that, I will be yours until I exist no more. I know it's a lot to agree to at this stage of your life, but-"
"Yes, I agree. Now, shut up." He interrupts with a smirk. All Rukia can do is blink. "I will happily commit. We can take our time, Rukia. We'll move as fast or slow as we want. I never want you to feel uncomfortable." He lets go of her hands to wrap his arms around her waist and bend so that his face is about an inch from hers. It allows him to see her dazzling smile up close which elicits one similar out of him. After staring in each other's eyes for a moment, Rukia rubs his nose with hers and softly closes her eyes. As she wraps her arms around his neck, Ichigo tilts his head slightly to the left, closing the distance until his lips lightly brush hers. With the slightest whisper, he repeats his confession, "I love you."
Rukia can barely take the tension any longer. But she can't let his comment go without exhaling a response. "I love you, too."
Finally, their kiss ensues. Rukia begins to move her lips to which Ichigo responds. Soon, she enters his mouth, pulling a moan from his throat. Every brain cell he has, incinerates. He can only think about how good it feels to hold and kiss her like this. As her tongue massages his, he enters her mouth and she moans as well. Her heart is on fire but her soul is serene. The kiss is sweet, slow and wet, allowing them to melt into each other.
When they absolutely run out of air, they separate and her eyes flutter open. His do the same. Wearing matching goofy grins, they stare at each other, again. When she searches his orbs, they seem to be burning. His total adoration is open for her to see. In response, she tenderly kisses his lips, causing him to kiss her forehead and the goofy grins are back.
Ichigo speaks first. "I am sure that we have the stupidest looks on our faces." He chuckles not bothering to fix his expression.
Running her fingers through his unruly hair, Rukia asks, "Does it matter?" while still looking in his eyes. His love for her is so dense in that sea of honey brown that it unnerves and warms her at the same time.
"No, it doesn't." He can't stop staring at her. If he had known that he could feel this good, he would have told her a long time ago. As dumb as it sounds, he loves holding her, kissing her, sharing a bed with her; at least he is sure that they have in the past.
Though tomorrow will bring back reality, for just tonight, they will live in their own little heaven. There is no impending doom looming. He loves her, she loves him and all is right with the world.
"Good. I don't care either." She lays her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes. Resting his cheek on the top of her head, he does the same. Rukia can't think of a time when she felt this happy; this complete. She's not the emotional type, but for some reason, he brings it out of her. It feels so good to have it out in the open. She doesn't have to hide it from him. She has found her home.
Sarcastically, Rukia chuckles, "Watch, this will turn out to be a dream. With our luck, we'll wake up in fifth period, on a Monday." Really, they do have shit luck.
"It's not, Rukia, it's not. If it were, I'd be really pissed right now." He scowls at the thought when he feels his head pitch forward slightly, from a tap to the back of it.
"Stop frowning." She didn't have to move to know he was frowning. "We should get some sleep."
"Rukia, c-can I ask you for something?" He is trying to word this the way he means it; not the way it is about to come out. He prays that she understands what he wants, not what he maybe implying.
Rukia wonders what is wrong. "What's the matter, Ichigo?" Pulling her head back, she stares him in the eye in worry.
Amber orbs move with hers, in apprehension, for a few seconds. If she even sort of looks frightened of him, he won't ask. He does not want her to feel disrespected. However, based on the picture in the closet, he hopes that she will not be. The confidence in his voice, from earlier, no longer exists. "I know how this is going to sound, but it isn't what it sounds like. I mean, it is what it sounds like, but it isn't how a lot of people would mean it….ugh! I sound like Inoue!" he says in a harsh whisper.
Rukia forms a light frown in empathy. There is something he really needs, that he is afraid to ask for. Grabbing his hands and lightly rubbing the backs of them with her thumbs she encourages him in a comforting but meaningful tone. "Just tell me, in your words, and look me in the eye. I will know what you mean."
He finds it odd that she is still trying her best to make him feel better when he is about to ask her something that may make her feel insulted. She always trusts him, which is why this is so hard. He doesn't want to lose that.
Ichigo takes a deep breath. Whispering shakily, he requests, "Will you sleep with me, tonight, like you used to before I could see you?"
Ichigo's eyes hold trepidation and a little bit of…What are you searching for, Baka?
"Um…" He quickly looks up at the ceiling, trying to form his words. He is asking for this because, he knows if there is anyone who he can request this of, it is Rukia.
He realized, while looking at the picture, that when she did that, his dreams were always pleasant. He knows. Those were the nights he slept in complete tranquility which is the exact antithesis of what he feels now. She has every right to say 'no', but he hopes that she won't. "You see, um, when I used to have a lot of nightmares, uh, some nights they would go away and I would have this dream of lying in a park with my head on your lap… I-I know it was because you were lying next to me. I could really tell right before you came back because your voice was in the dream."
Bringing his head down to look past her, he continues, "It was nice to sleep like that. Since you came back, the nightmares have stopped, but I…I don't dream. I was, um, hoping that if you slept next to me, that I could sleep like that tonight; I could, um, dream."
He would like to experience that, once again. It is different on the living room floor. It is a public space where he can never be a hundred percent comfortable.
Instead, He wishes to have her in his bed with him. Next to him, under the same blankets, on the same pillows; with her arms wrapped around him…just to sleep next to him. It is something that he has wanted for a long while. He wants Rukia's body next to his when he checks out of the world for the night and when he wakes up, in the morning. And…the idea of a pleasant dream is something that he has missed.
Please understand me. "I won't do anythi-mph." Two small lips stop his words.
"Shut up," Rukia whispers against his lips with a smile. "It'll be nice to sleep in a bed, for a change."
The boy puts his nose in her shoulder, squeezes her waist tightly and speaks his mumbled gratitude. She never questions his intentions. "Thank you."
The girl kisses his cheek and slowly combs her fingers through his hair. She is glad that he felt comfortable enough to ask her for something so personal. In a like tone, she replies, "You're always welcome," causing him to tighten his hold. Comfortingly, she adds, "Let's get to bed, Baka."
Ichigo simply nods in agreement. Suddenly, he feels her rise as if to separate and he stops her by refusing to let her go. "Where are you going?" he asks quietly.
She answers truthfully, "I was getting up so that you can stand."
Scooping under her backside with his forearm and placing his hand under her thigh, Ichigo stands and whispers, "I do this every night. It's okay. I got it. Just rest."
Rukia wraps her arms around his neck, and buries her nose. He's right, he does. She always wakes up in her bed without any recollection of getting there; he always takes care of her. Snuggling her nose in further and tightening her grip, she continues to inhale his unique scent while he carries her from room to room as if she has no weight, at all.
After folding the blanket in half with one hand, he lays it over the couch before shutting off the television. He keeps his hold on her, under her backside, but is able to move about without any sort of restriction, grabbing the empty mugs and putting them to the kitchen. Ichigo finishes his first floor duties by collecting their socks off of the back of the couch, tossing them in the laundry room and beginning the ascent to his room. The whole time, Rukia has been attached to and draped over his front; he has not minded one bit. Plus, her nose there always makes him happy; it lets him know that she is fully comfortable in his presence.
Once inside of his bedroom door, the boy turns around and locks it. Lightly pressing her back into the door, he threads one hand into her damp locks and the leaves the other around her waist. The motion causes her to raise her head from the crook of his neck and meet his eyes in curiosity.
Amber pierces deeply into violet, and he stands very still, for a few seconds. She doesn't seem to have any regrets about changing the direction of their relationship. "You know how much I love you, right?" He breathes his question against the quiet darkness of the room.
The moonlight comes through the window and fires across the room, onto the wall. The light splashes out and reflects against the two lone subjects. It allows them to see the grey and white definition of each other's stare. Rukia can match his voice with the slight level of worry in his eyes and a bit of uncertainty in his scowl. "This is only between you and me. There will be no one else; I promise you. From here out, this is our room and our bed. You will be the first and the last woman I sleep next to."
Tightening her legs around his waist, she can't help but smile at him. He is so different than all of the men she's known in Soul Society. He cares that she feels loved and appreciated. If she gains anymore adoration for her Fruit, her heart will pop out of her chest. Playing with the hair at Ichigo's nape, she expresses words that she had not spoken aloud, until tonight. "I love you so much, Ichigo."
Putting her nose at the base of his neck, she kisses her way up his throat. Her nostrils flare when she lets more of his aroma waft into her consciousness. Her kisses move from closed and chaste, to open and wet as she works her way from his clavicle, feeling his neck muscles tighten.
When she reaches his Adam's apple, he involuntarily lets his head go backward and his eyes snap closed. She finishes her work upward and decides to move left to right. She is encouraged by her progress as the male whimpers slightly and his hold tightens. She can feel his weight against her increase, but she continues on her quest. When Rukia sucks on the area of skin just below his ear, Ichigo lets go of a powerful sigh. Deeply, she wants him to know how much she enjoys being with him, touching him; loving him.
Allowing her teeth to slightly nip his skin, she elicits a breathy, deep and unbridled moan from her partner.
There is something empowering about making a large man, like him, lose control of the sounds that come from his mouth. The more noises he makes, the more she wants to hear.
Her lips on him are soooo fantastic. He never knew that he could feel so good. When she softly bites him, Ichigo struggles to stop himself from moaning, but a few make it out into the open. It feels so good, he almost can't stand it. He lets his mind blank and process only feelings associated with what Rukia is doing to him. However…
She can't have all of the fun, now, can she?
Finally gaining some of his senses back, he tilts her head back and gives her another good stare. He tries his best to make her understand that his future with her is forever. Her eyes tell him that she understands the nature of their agreement. Even in the dark, the strength of the gaze is powerful. Turning his head to the right, he brings his lips to ghost over hers and he expresses the only thought that crosses his mind. "This was so worth the wait."
Pressing his lips to hers, he thrusts his tongue forward and gives Rukia a deep, sensual kiss. The absolute happiness that is calmly laid on his face doesn't change as their heads switch directions. The taste of her mouth is something that he will never forget. The way her small tongue fights with his for dominance and her desire to make sure that he is satisfied, wills him to press into her mouth even farther. Her kiss of fire is so powerful that it consumes his body. He can feel his heartbeat increase and his temperature rise. Her laboured breaths and small whimpers are music to his ears. He must not be doing too badly because if she gets fastened to him any tighter, he won't be able to breathe. Though, it would be a magnificent death. When he hears her high-pitched pleasured whimper combined with a hard-pressed nasal exhale, Ichigo quietly grunts and continues forcing her into the door.
Rukia cannot believe how hard she is locked with Ichigo. If her Nii-Sama heard, he'd be very disappointed. However, he's not here and she has waited her whole life to feel like this. Warm, loved, wanted, desired; the way he invades her mouth and wraps his tongue around hers makes her toes tingle. If the room gets any hotter, she'll be sweating. Involuntarily, her legs and arms grab on for more purchase against his body. Her entire form is enraptured by the ecstasy her mate evokes. The depth of his kiss causes her eyes to roll backward and the quiet hum of "Mmmm" leaves her. All brain activity has stopped; thinking has become an extraneous operation. Only the sense of touch remains…the other four have left the building.
The harder she pulls him, the harder he kisses her. Eventually, he rips his mouth from hers, attaches to her neck and begins to give her the same treatment, she gave him. Driving his body into her until there is nowhere else to go, the tip of his tongue ventures out to taste her skin and he is rewarded with soft moan. The hand that was in her hair begins to rub the outside of her thigh in a slow, circular and carnal rhythm, causing her body to writhe against him.
Rukia can hear Ichigo gasping for air and she loosens her grip on him. Evidently, that is not what he wants because as she loosens her grip, his pressure increases. Oddly, as he rubs her thigh with more pressure, she reflexively tightens her leg hold. It is like an unending pattern. He smoothes her thigh with power and sensuality. It is as if his hand cannot stop the motion. His hold on her waist briefly switches to her hair to allow him to direct her head by gently tugging her hair. The force of his weight adheres her to the door.
She would object to being led; if his lips weren't doing such a wonderful job.
Her pants and gasps are most exquisite; her skin is warm, soft and euphoric. When Ichigo's teeth scrape her earlobe, she sucks down an amazing breath of air and clutches to his hair tensely. He growls and his large hand grips her thigh tightly.
Rukia's unclasped leg begins to move in an up and down motion against Ichigo's backside. As he makes every effort to press himself against her, his grunts become more and more frequent with greater volume. She continues to convey her pleasure and he tries to provide her with more of it. Gods, I cannot wait for the day that I can kiss you all over, freely. He can barely breathe and does not care. His only objective is pleasing her…he is unable to process any other thought.
As soon as he sucks on the skin below her ear, a large sigh of "Ichigo" escapes her lips and he stops moving… immediately. The boy places his nose in the juncture of her neck and collects himself. Whimpers, he can handle; heavy breathing he can kind of zone out, if he has to; the lusty whisper of his name, he cannot ignore. It pushes blood through his body at a rate of speed that he cannot understand. When his name rolls off of her tongue with that much need, he can sense his sanity quickly dispersing. So much so, that he instantly wants to rip off her clothes, attach his lips to her skin and… and he cannot. He will not.
Leaving his head buried in her shoulder, they both still and catch their breath. Picking up his head to look at her in the eye, he smiles and whispers gently. The level of salaciousness he holds is very weighty and he is slightly shaking, but his love does get through as he pants his reasoning…he just can't trust himself. "You can't say my name like that until we get back, okay? You are the first and only girl I have ever wanted this with and I need to get a hold on my hormones better. I have almost three years of Chibi lust built up that I have to control. I really want this part of our lives to be…sacred…not just something we do." Though he is slightly embarrassed, he feels better seeing the issue in her eyes reflected back to him.
Rukia's eyes are dilated as well. He's right. They are both emotionally vulnerable; there is no real reason to hurry. "We don't have to rush into anything. We have a lot of time. I'll be home sooner than you think. I'll still love you, then; I always will. And," She rubs his cheeks with her fingers, "I, too, have some lust issues to deal with." Looking away, in bashful fashion, she concludes. "I have wanted you for a long time. I want you to want me the way that I want you."
With a dark chuckle, he leans to her ear. "Trust me, I definitely want you the way you want me and I will, even after this crazy shit is over."
The girl only proceeds to get redden and smiles. "Then, it will be like a long Christmas. We will approach each step like a small present. When we are comfortable, we will move on. This is new for me. I, too, only want to be with one person, Ichigo. When the point comes to give up everything, I have to know that you are ready to give up everything, in return. I need that type of trust and intimacy to be…permanent. I want you to be sure that I am, truly, the person you are in love with because," turning her eyes away for a second, she appends in a serious tone, "I can't date a lot of people. I have to find someone to marry or they will find someone for me. I know who I am in love with and want to be my husband, but I don't want you to feel obligated to something that you don't want. We should make love because our hearts want it more than our bodies do. " Her eyes come back to him with a slightly worried smile. "You are the only person I have ever been in love with."
He returns her smile, softly. "I want it to be you and only you. But, we suck at dealing with new emotions. Let's get used to this first so we don't fuck up. I want to marry you, Rukia; with a life and a family. I have waited for so long, that a few more weeks and months won't change anything. But if we don't give ourselves time to adjust, we will hurt each other and I don't want to loose the best thing that has ever happened to me; it would break my heart if you left me." This is the one time that he is going to try his damndest to be as patient as he can.
Hugging her tightly, he adds, "I already know that I am in love with you; enough to wait to make love to you."
She smiles from ear to ear. He is so damned perfect. The girl holds on to his neck, tightly. "It will work itself out. Besides, it will be a fun work in progress."
The boy laughs darkly, again. "Oh, Kurosaki-San. You have no idea."
Rukia giggles and whispers with the same tone to his ear, "Oh, I bet I do."
Ichigo is forced to laugh. "You'll be the death of me, Chibs."
Giving her a gentle kiss to the lips, he gingerly puts her down to her feet. Turning his back to her while grabbing her hand, he pulls her over to the bed and pulls down the covers. The boy motions, with his hand, for her to get in first. Her small body crawls across the bed to the wall and she sits formally, on her knees.
Ichigo eyes her in question. Is she having second thoughts? "Rukia, if this bothers you, in anyway, just tell me. I'll understand."
A pale, petite face tilts upward with a small smile. "I like sleeping on the outside."
Ichigo smiles in return. Lying down, he grabs her waist; pulling her down to the bed, on her back. After her whispered yelp, a large hand presses between Rukia's shoulder blades and her body is drawn to him. Simultaneously, he rolls over so that she is nearest the door, but her front is facing him. "Happy now?"
Rukia snuggles down into his chest inhaling deeply. Exhaling slowly, she responds, "Never better. Now, pull the covers up. It's not July, you know."
Ichigo pulls the comforter over them, situates himself in the bed, and enjoys the feeling of Rukia next to him. Idly, he wraps his leg over hers and pulls her in, even tighter. "Gods, you're bossy."
She loves being cocooned inside his arms. The amalgamation of his scent, body heat and her full tummy, from the ridiculous amount of food he made her eat, is lulling her down into a solid sleep. She can barely keep her eyes open, now that her adrenaline has reduced. "Mmhmm. But, very comfortable. Ichigo?"
Looking down, he answers. "Yeah?"
This is wonderful. All of the shit she's been through has been worth it, to get to this. To know that the person you would sacrifice your existence for loves you and would give just as much…the gods have sincerely blessed her. She now has a reason for living, rather than excuses for existence. Tilting her head up, Rukia rests her lips on his before releasing her hold. "Good night, Berry. I love you."
Sweet dreams, Love; you have given me mine.
Giving her one last kiss to the forehead, he responds, "I love you, too, Chibi. 'Night."
As he smells her hair, and feels her breathing in sleep, he muses on how much better this went; than he thought. She actually loves me. His arms involuntarily squeeze her. Maybe he can talk her into sleeping next to him tomorrow and every other night, hereafter. Besides, Kurosaki Rukia might as well get used to her bed.
A soft smile forms across his face. Who knew you could get the entire world shrunken down enough to sleep double, in a single bed?
He chuckles.
Only if yours is five feet tall and ninety pounds.
Constricting her in his embrace even tighter, he sighs in contentment. Oyaji won't even be able to get in their room, tomorrow. The door and window are locked. Gotcha, Goat Face. A smug smile erupts on his face.
Their Room… There will be no Chappy bedding!
Letting himself succumb to the alluring call of sleep, Ichigo allows his eyes close and his consciousness to fade. He takes in one more whiff of the smell that makes all wrongs right and processes his last thought.
'Night, Love.
For the first night in two months, Ichigo dreamt.