Congratulations.

That was the first word Cath saw and then after that she could hardly read because she was busy hyperventilating. But it was obvious enough.

She'd been accepted. It was official. She'd been accepted to study abroad.

Cath let out a shriek as she finally managed to read the rest of the email. A few happy tears escaped her eyes. She clapped a hand to her mouth, so incredibly glad that Reagan was not there to see her now.

She just stared at it for a moment, doing her best not to begin hyperventilating. There was so much to do. But then again, she was able to reign herself in with thoughts of all the things she and her therapist had talked about.

Take deep breaths.

Small steps.

Break it down into manageable pieces.

So. To begin with… tell people?

Oh god, that didn't sound manageable at all. Cath wondered suddenly if she could still back out. She'd applied on such a whim, perhaps it wasn't too late to tell them she'd changed her mind?

No, this was an adventure of a lifetime. Professor Piper had made such a point of pushing Cath in this direction, and she knew why if she was really honest. A chance to expand her world. A chance to find more writing material. Something to actually put on a resume that might help her in the future. The positives far outweighed the few insubstantial negatives which were mostly just hypothetical worries.

She smiled and moved to type up a status update.

So I just found out I'm officially going to study abroad next year… Oxford here I come!

Cath sighed and took another steadying breath. Well, perhaps there was one step before posting it to social media. She grabbed her phone and had it pressed to her ear before she could possibly chicken out.

"What's up?" Wren's voice came from the other side. "You do know I'm in my room right? You could just come talk to me."

Cath took a deep breath. "Imgoingtoengland," she said in a rush.

"What? Slow down. Are you all right?"

Cath closed her eyes. "I've been…accepted to study abroad. At Oxford."

Wren gasped. "Oh my god. Oh…I…oh…Cath I'm…. why didn't you tell me you were applying!?"

"I didn't…I sort of thought I might not get in," Cath said, barely managing to keep her voice level. "I…I've got to tell dad too."

"He's going to be thrilled, Cath. You have no idea. Just over break he was telling me how worried he was that you were never going to branch out and do anything new. He's going to be so happy."

Cath flushed at the mention of her father's worries.

"All right, I'm going to get off just so you can call him. And then go check to make sure it's not actually April first. Because this just seems like too much of a trick. My own dear recluse of a sister going off to Europe. Promise you'll bring me souvenirs? And take lots of pictures?"

Cath sighed. "I still have a lot of steps before we get there. So no promises yet."

"All right, you keep me posted. I'm so coming down there to sit on your bed while you call dad. Okay?"

Cath smiled. "Sure thing."

She hung up and stared down at her phone. One down. A few dozen more to go.

Of course, the one Cath was most nervous about ending up coming quite naturally. After congratulations from Wren and her dad and Lauryn and even a grinning Thomas, Cath finally sat down in her dorm room and waited for Reagan to turn up.

After a long while the door opened and in came Reagan.

"What's up?" she asked.

Cath wondered if she'd caught sight of the anxiety clearly lingering on Cath's face.

"Um...just wanted to tell you the news," Cath said. "I'm...um... going to study abroad next year."

"Study abroad?" Reagan asked. "Where?"

"Oxford," Cath said in a small voice.

Reagan froze for a moment. "What?"

"Oxford," Cath whispered again. "In England."

"Yeah I'm not a moron, I know where Oxford is," Reagan said with an eye roll. "I just wouldn't have thought... really? This is what therapy's done to you? Did they put you on drugs yet?"

"No," Cath said with a flush. "I applied before I even really got into therapy. Is it really that surprising?"

"A little," Reagan said, brow furrowing. "Good surprising though. So...you're going to move to England then? Officially go join Simon Snow?"

Cath giggled. "Yes. I guess."

Reagan frowned. "Well that does change things a little I guess. I was going to ask if you want to live together again next year."

Cath tilted her head. "But you're graduating."

"I'm not ready to leave Lincoln just yet," Reagan said with a shrug. "I may hate Arnold, but Nebraska's still home, you know? I'm not ready to pry up my roots just yet. Unlike you you little world-traveler."

"I am not prying up my roots," Cath said. "Just going to... visit the rest of the world for a bit. And it's only a semester. Were you thinking like getting a house or apartment or something?"

"Apartment probably," Reagan said. "I'd have to explore options. And obviously I'd need to make sure I find a job. But I'd be more likely to do that if I knew I had someone I wanted to live with. What do you think?"

Cath smiled. "I'd love to. I could help pay rent even while I'm at Oxford. And we could probably do a two bedroom place and my sister could stay with us too. You like Wren, right?"

"She's pretty cool," Reagan said. "Chiller than you, that's for sure. Could probably even do with one more person. Any ideas?"

Cath shrugged. "I'd have to think about it a little."

"Not wanting to move in with that boyfriend of yours yet then?" Reagan sneered.

"No," Cath said with a flush. "Another girl roommate is what I meant."

"Better be," Reagan muttered. "I've had enough boy drama to last for a while."

Cath smiled and nodded, even as she thought about Thomas. She knew that she was being somewhat hypocritical. After all, she'd dumped Levi to avoid a long distance relationship. But with Oxford coming up she was in the same situation again. Her only excuses were that she had some time before the move would happen. And besides... she didn't care about Thomas nearly as much as she did Levi. The separation just wouldn't hurt in the same way.

She was about to suggest going to grab dinner when her phone rang.

Cath frowned and looked down. She froze as she read the name flashing across the screen.

"What's up?" Reagan asked, obviously noting her expression.

"It's um..." Cath stammered. "It's...Marlisse."

Reagan stared at her. "What? You're fucking kidding me."

She held up the phone and Reagan stared at it.

"Don't answer," Reagan said. "Don't you dare answer. Shit. I should have known this would happen."

Cath stared for a moment longer and then finally the phone stopped ringing. She waited, holding her breath. Perhaps she'd just leave a voicemail.

But instead, another second later the name appeared again and the phone started to ring anew.

"Fuck. Fuck," Reagan muttered. "Pass it here. I'll deal with her. Lord knows I've had her scream at me enough in the past. Seriously, give it over."

Cath did as she was instructed, watching as Reagan held the device to her ear.

"Hi Marlisse," she said, smiling even as her eyes narrowed. "It's Reagan. Cath can't talk right now so I figured I'd just take your call since it sounds so urgent. What's going on?"

Reagan fell silent for a moment, eyes moving across the wall in front of her as though tracking written words instead of verbal ones. Cath held her breath as she waited, watching Reagan's eyebrows crinkle. She could just barely make out a voice on the other end. It didn't sound like there was any screaming, but she couldn't hear the words either.

"You promise?" Reagan said after a moment. "Because it's my duty to protect my best friend."

Cath had to cover her mouth to keep a smile from showing.

"All right," Reagan said, moving the phone away from her face and covering the bottom half with her hand. "She says she wants to talk with you. She promised it's nothing bad."

Cath squirmed. "Are you sure? What if she's just lying?"

"She's not," Reagan said. "She's a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve. And besides, she swore in the name of Jesus Christ so I'm pretty sure that means she'd never say a bad word to you. Go ahead."

Cath reached for the phone, heart beginning to pound as she put it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello Cath," Marlisse's voice came through the other end. "I just wanted to talk to you, is that all right?"

"Um...sure," Cath said, wiping her other palm on her jeans to get the sweat off. "What's going on?"

"Well, I just managed to wrangle the truth out of Levi," Marlisse said. "I didn't know what had happened between you two. But I'd mentioned Valentine's Day coming up and that's when I found out..."

"Oh," Cath managed.

"I had been wondering why you hadn't visited us yet. Every time I asked Levi he brushed me off. And then today I was inquiring about your plans for Valentine's Day and he told me you broke things off... I almost didn't believe it at first. But it makes sense...I'd noticed he's been acting a bit differently."

Cath swallowed. "I'm really sorry...I..."

"Don't apologize," Marlisse said quickly. "Not a word. I don't want explanations or anything like that. The main thing I want you to know is that you are always welcome to call me anytime."

"What?" Cath said, brow furrowing and trying to make sure she'd heard Marlisse correctly.

"You don't have a mother," Marlisse said. "And I meant everything I said the last time we talked. You can call me anytime you need anything. I like you very much, Cath. And I even if it grieves me, I can respect that you and Levi might just need something different. But that doesn't mean you aren't welcome, do you understand?"

"I suppose," Cath said. "Um...thank you for calling. How have things been?"

"Good," Marlisse said. "And for you, honey? I'd been praying for you quite a bit. Even more now that I've heard the news."

"I'm all right," Cath said. She felt Reagan's eyes on her as she spoke. She hesitated for a moment before adding, "I'm doing some therapy right now, and it's been really helpful. But...it's nice to know someone cares I guess... that not everyone is going to walk away."

Marlisse chuckled. "I suppose that must come as a relief. I won't, Cath. You call me sometime just to talk, all right?"

"All right. Thank you for calling," Cath said, doing her best to catch the breath that suddenly seemed to have escaped her. She tried to deepen her breathing a little, but it was difficult.

After a moment Marlisse bid her goodnight and then there was a click and Cath set the phone down.

"I don't know what's stranger," Reagan muttered, "Marlisse calling you out of the blue, or you not freaking out about it."

"I'm freaking out inside," Cath said. "Like I am ninety-five percent of the time."

Reagan snorted. "Too true. So...she's cool about you and Levi? I thought for sure she'd be driving up here now to have your head for breaking her little boy's heart."

"Is that what she did to you?" Cath asked.

"Naw," Reagan said with an eyeroll. "A little yelling. But I think mostly she was pleased you know. Glad her prayers had worked and I was finally out of her boy's life. I don't know. She's a complicated woman."

Cath smiled.

"That she is," Cath said. "So...getting back on topic...roommate situation?'

"If you can find another person willing to live with three crazies like us and you'd be willing to pay rent even while you're gone," Reagan said with a shrug. "I really don't see why it couldn't work."

It was difficult to restrain her grin as she thought about that. It might be challenging to find one more person, Reagan was right. But other than that, the future was really seeming to come together.

"How is this even real?" Wren asked with a sigh. "You off dating while I'm single on Valentine's Day? I'm just going to have to hide in my room and pretend I don't exist for a while."

"Oh come on," Cath said with a sigh, leaning back against the wall. "Isn't there someone you could do something with? Anyone else who's single?"

Wren shook her head. "Nope. I'm alone in a world of lovestruck people."

She flung herself back onto her bed and sighed dramatically. Cath was unable to stop a giggle from breaking free.

"There has to be someone," Cath said. "Seriously. We'll think of something. But you are not spending Valentine's Day by yourself. If need be I'll cancel plans and come spend it with you. I'm not risking you falling into a rough patch again."

Wren huffed at that. "Oh come on, I'm doing much better."

"And a bad night could get rid of all the progress you've made," Cath pointed out.

"You are not dropping plans to spend with me," Wren sighed. "I mean...what are you two doing anyways? God, I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that you're still dating him."

Cath rolled her eyes. She'd grown used to his in the last month, but that still didn't make it any easier.

"He made reservations some place nice," Cath said. "And after that I've told him I want to go back to his place."

Wren's eyes snapped wide open and she sat up. "Oh my god. Seriously? You're...going to sleep with him?"

"He's my boyfriend," Cath said. "So yes. I am."

"I cannot believe you right now," Wren muttered. "Who even are you? Where's my sister?"

"What!" Cath said. "I'm totally allowed to want to...do it with my boyfriend."

Wren shook her head. "I just...you took forever to get there with Levi. And you never did with Abel."

"Abel and I just never got there," Cath said. "And you always said he was a piece of furniture rather than a boyfriend, so wasn't that a relief? And Levi...well that was my virginity. I don't have anything left to lose. To be honest I just sort of want to get it over with when it comes to Thomas. Be done and through the first time. Besides...I miss that...is that so wrong?"

She didn't bother to tell Wren that she was also hoping maybe it would make her start actually feeling things for Thomas. A month later and she still would find herself thinking on dates that it was nice, but it lacked the passion she would have felt sitting across from Levi. So a final step seemed necessary.

"Have you kissed him yet?" Wren asked.

"No," Cath said.

Though not from lack of trying. Thomas seemed oblivious to moments she wanted to put her lips on him. To be honest she was sort of hoping Valentine's Day would just make it easy and obvious what she was getting at. No more hinting.

"God, this might be enough to make me drink," Wren muttered. "Seriously, I just want to go back in time and stop you breaking up with Levi."

"That still wouldn't make you any less alone on Valentine's Day," Cath pointed out.

"Whatever," Wren said with a huff. "I'll figure something out. Although now that you've said all that maybe I should just crash on your plans."

Cath sighed. "I don't have time for this," she said, sanding up and moving towards the door. "I have an essay due tomorrow. And besides, my fans might kill me if I don't give them a new chapter."

Wren stood up. "Come here."

Cath reluctantly let her sister wrap her arms around her.

"I only do this because I love you," Wren whispered. "You're my built-in best friend from birth. I don't want you to get hurt. Okay?"

Cath squeezed her back. "Okay."

She understood of course, but she couldn't help but wonder if Wren's worries would really do either of them any good. All she needed right now was to move on. Anything to erase Levi and the pain his loss had caused her. But right now she knew there were more important things than that. So she let her sister keep her close and promised that she'd figure things out for Valentine's Day.

"So please tell me you two are going to like co-write a fic for Valentine's Day or something," Lauryn said as they sat down in class.

Thomas glanced at Cath. "Like we could possibly agree on a ship.

Cath rolled her eyes. "I do not co-write. Ever. Possibly with you. But not with him."

"Wow, I can just feel the love between you," Lauryn said drily. "So seriously, what's the plan for the big V Day?"

"Dinner," Thomas said. "Time together. You know. The usual."

"Again, so romantic," Lauryn said, raising an eyebrow. "I somehow thought fic writers would have better imaginations. Bed of rose petals or some other over the top romantic gesture."

"We'll see," Cath said, flushing at the mention of a bed. She didn't need roses. Just something.

"Will we?" Lauryn said.

"Sure," Cath said. "What about you? You have any plans?"

"Well it's a Thursday night which is sucky," Lauryn muttered. "But then again, I heard they're holding speed dating in the student union...so I might end up doing that. Because I've been so busy I haven't even bothered to try to find someone...and it's getting to be time I actually started looking, you know?"

Cath shrugged, only to think of something. "Would you like to go with someone?" she asked.

Lauryn tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Well...my sister is looking for something to do," Cath said. "And I don't know for sure if she'd be down, but if she had someone to go with she might be more willing..."

"Sister?" Thomas said, at the same time Lauryn said, "Oh Wren?"

"I have a twin," she said to Thomas before turning back to Lauryn. "Yes. I know you've only met her once or twice, but is it okay if I offer?"

"I would love you forever if you did," Lauryn gushed. "I sort of hate the idea of going by myself to be honest."

Cath smiled and pulled her phone out to text her sister the idea. Well, perhaps things were looking up for once.

Thomas could not have been more gentlemanly if he tried. Holding doors for her and wearing this ridiculously cute waistcoat and trousers that she suspected were custom tailored. His eyes glimmered behind his glasses as they chatted over their food. Thomas had to reassure her out of a panic attack when she saw the prices, but eventually she calmed down enough to enjoy the fancy food and nice conversation.

She ran a hand over the skirt of her dress as she stood in the elevator of his apartment. Everything in her was concentrating on keeping her breathing even as she allowed him to walk her down the hallway.

"Did I mention you look nice tonight?" Thomas said with a smile. "That shade of blue really compliments your skin tone. I don't think I've seen you in a dress before."

She moved her hands away from the fabric she'd practically started to twist. "Um thanks... you too."

He fumbled with his keys. She noted his fingers slipped once or twice before he found the right one, and then he was pushing the door open, flicking on a light.

"Here we are," Thomas said. He smiled as he ushered her in. He took a deep breath and then pushed the door closed. "My place."

Cath looked around. If he hadn't just introduced the room as his, she might have thought they'd stumbled into the wrong apartment through some unexplainable error. But instead it appeared that Lauryn's comments on how spoiled Thomas was might not be so much of an exaggeration.

"Wow," she said, looking around, noting the open kitchen and living room complete with a matching furniture set. "It's lovely. So where's your...um bedroom?" she said.

"Down the hall," Thomas said, pointing past the kitchen. "With the bathroom if you need it. You want popcorn for the movie?"

"Um...movie?" she asked, freezing in her spot in the middle of the room.

"Yeah," he said with a shrug. "Figured we'd have some time before you want to head out. You game?"

Cath did her best to avoid saying anything brash. "If you'd like," she said. Maybe he was just using it as an excuse...a way they could snuggle and ease into it. From everything she'd seen so far, she had a feeling he was as nervous as she was. Somehow that was not as comforting as she felt it should be.

"All right," Thomas said with a smile. "You look through the selection and decide what you want to watch."

She hardly glanced. It was tempting to just pop in a Simon Snow movie to be honest. Something she already knew and wouldn't miss. But she knew she couldn't take not being able to squeal over Baz and Simon in Thomas' presence. So she settled for some fantasy romance she'd heard good things about but never taken the time to watch.

He came and settled beside her on the sofa, turning on the TV and starting up the movie without another word.

Cath moved a bit closer, trying to ease into his space. He moved a little further, going so far as to sigh and kick off his shoes before moving his feet onto the sofa between them.

Cath was perplexed, but at the same time she didn't know if plainly stating it was right either. Maybe she'd just wait until the movie was a little further in to suggest doing something else.

She sank back into her seat and let herself relax a bit.

The movie was good, but not so interesting as to glue her attention to it. She glanced at Thomas once or twice, but his eyes were fixed on the screen.

"Are you sure you want to watch this?" she asked at one point. "Isn't there...anything else you'd like to do?"

She glanced at her phone, it was already after ten. They both had class tomorrow. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. After a long night finishing papers the day before, she couldn't help but hope he'd make up his mind soon.

"I love this movie," Thomas said with a shrug. "If you're not into it I guess you can feel free to head home. I'll drive you if you'd like."

Cath almost retorted that she had no other way home, but she bit her tongue. She considered texting Wren to ask about the night of speed dating, but she kept herself in check.

However, as the movie changed into a section of soothing dancing between the protagonist and the love interest, Cath found her eyes fluttering shut.

Before she could do anything else, she was fast asleep.

She woke up in a daze. It took her a moment to realize she was still on the couch. There was a blanket over her and the television was off, but other than that everything was the same.

"Good morning," a voice from behind her said.

She turned to see Thomas in the kitchen. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater.

"You want something to eat?" he asked. "We have class in less than an hour."

Cath sat up with a groan, back cracking slightly as she managed to push herself off. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep during the movie," Thomas said with a shrug. "I figured you were tired and didn't want to wake you. Sorry if that was the wrong choice. You want breakfast?"

"Um... not really," Cath admitted. "I'm still stuffed from last night." She glanced down at her dress. "Oh no... um... I don't suppose there's time to run me by my dorm... otherwise I'm going to end up doing a walk of shame. And I don't think Lauryn would let me live that down. Ever. Or you probably."

Thomas frowned. "Yeah sure. Well, I'll grab my stuff and we can head out."

He headed back towards the bedroom leaving her to stand in a daze. Everything from last night and nothing. No results. Nothing. She still couldn't believe it.

Cath reached for her phone. There were a few texts from both Wren and Lauryn. Both sounded like they'd had a pretty good time over all. Wren's said she had four numbers from promising "non-asshole" type guys. And Lauryn said she was going to head on a date next week. She smiled at her friend's fortune even as she considered her own lacking one. Suddenly she found herself pulling up an old familiar number. She stared at it for a moment, finger hovering over the call button.

Here she was, standing in another boy's apartment while she thought about calling her ex. Cath squeezed her eyes shut as she put the phone away. What she wouldn't give to hear his voice again. Images ran through her mind. His smile. His eyes. His kisses on her cheek and neck, smiling merrily above her in bed. His arms around her, her face to his chest, warm and safe. God. How could she possibly do this. How could she ever do this again.

Plans to erase him had failed. Cath swallowed down the pain and put on her bravest face as Thomas appeared again. She didn't really know what to do. But she was clinging to hope that one day these feelings might just disappear.

He stared down at the glass in his hand. The champagne might have been welcome, though he craved something stronger. However, the circumstances were all wrong.

Cornelius looked up and caught Tom's eye. The man was smiling, moving to another part of the room to talk to some relative on Anna's side.

Swallowing down the bitter taste in his throat, he moved towards the wall, craving solitude if even for a moment. How could he have allowed this to happen? The man he loved married. And to the woman who'd pretended that she was all for his happiness.

It was hard to believe in some ways. That Anna had told him that Tom would be happy if he confessed. In some ways he wanted to turn away from her. But they were both his friends… they deserved his support, didn't they?

He met Anna's eyes suddenly, since Tom had looked away. She smiled a little, but he saw weariness in her expression. And for a moment there was a flash in the dark depths and he realized. Something was off.

His eyes moved to Tom. He was smiling, but the expression was stilted. Forced.

And it was there in an instant. The answer. He glanced around, though he did his best to keep his movements to a minimum. He pretended to be looking through the crowd, but instead his eyes sought for what he wanted to see most. An answer. There had to be an answer.

And there it was. Tucked in with the flowers was a small camera. Cornelius swallowed and looked away quickly, glancing at Tom and Anna. No one else even realized. It never occurred to anyone that the happy couple was anything but. No would could see that these were only masks being worn. And for a performance someone else had clearly orchestrated.

"I'll save you both," he muttered, moving in the direction of the door. "But it might take some time. But if I can do this, no one will have to love someone they don't love. And I won't have to pretend I don't love you any longer, Tom. I can't anyways. It's better this way."

-From Just What the Doctor Ordered posted Feb 2013
By FanFixx .net author Magicath

A/N: Reminder I went to a small college…which meant study abroad was completely different. So…I did my best to look over UNL's study abroad page and try to figure things out…but I had very little luck sorting through so much material. Therefore I am making it my own. So for anyone who studied through a larger school and goes "that's not how it works" sorry small (less than 2000 students) school girl trying her best to hash it out and this is the results.

About Marlisse- my grandma has remained close friends with one of my aunt's highschool boyfriend even though she's now married to someone else and has kids... so I know this does happen with some moms. It's always seemed a little weird to me, but I thought it somehow fit Marlisse pretty well.

Thanks to JuliaBC, Rae is in town, TVH Bookfan, hiseask17, bookjunkie1, The Marvellous Seeweed, Katherinelovesthenumber2, RiseoftheSoulGuardians, Alastryna, LyraLove, mcerny5 for reviews and to all my followers and supporters! These updates wouldn't be possible without you!