Welcome to chapter 26 *^*
And SO SORRY for being so late ;^; Seriously sorry ;A; I took so long hnnn gomen :C
A couple of things came together and yaaahh- basically I was in turkey and the internet sucked so bad and I could neither access the fanfiction page, nor even send e-mail. So I kinda really was rendered unable to send my beta anything or update my profile. T-T And when I was home hnnnnnn oh well- Life happens xDD
But now xD Now I'm back C: And the update is even slightly longer than usual cx
Thank you for correcting this Soylentramen~! xD
Guest 2: xDD some fluff hiding between the scenes haha C: awwwww the way you put it you make me feel bad for Izaya xD Haha yeah, he believes it will never happen poor flea, he just thinks Shizuo hates him too much for anything like that to ever happen :C awww And Shizu-chan is helpless, god how I love a helpless Shizuo, usually he is the one who beats everyone up and the strongest, but this he can´t beat that easily C: Hehe you will be surprised who is ringing, drama is approaching xD
Reader: xD Haha who says they are here for Izaya~? xD Though making Shiki come over would have also been a great idea *^* tho this is the secret apartment so not too many should know where it is C; xD Awwwwww Haha yeah, I was kinda worrying myself a few times if it wouldn't be more realistically to make him flip out and actually hurt Izaya bad or something, I mean he already can´t control himself, but you know, make it worse C: xD All chur reviews make me happy *^* I love these little conversations xD And no worries~ that Shizu-folder has a special part in this story C: Sorry I was so late again ;A;
Well then, enough rambling for now C: Do read the end note though, I have a little surprise for chu xD
Enjoy~! *0*
.
.
.
-๑-๑ ஜ ๑-*0*-๑ ஜ ๑-๑-
ஜ Chapter 26: Evil Schemes ஜ
-Izaya´s point of view-
He had forgotten. Completely.
It wasn´t as if he didn´t know what was going on when Shizuo opened the door, and it wasn´t like he didn´t know what the police wanted in here, but he had really forgotten about it up until that point.
The point where Shizuo asked them why they were here.
Really now… for once, only for once in his life he wished he weren´t the cause of something.
"Heiwajima Shizuo, we have to ask you to come with us." One of the police officers approached the blond, visibly shaking- it seemed he knew the fortissimo all too well.
Then again, who didn´t in Ikebukuro or Shinjuku?
The reaction wasn´t anything new.
"Huh?" The frown that had appeared on Shizuo´s face deepened.
He was confused, he didn´t do anything, did he?
"What for?" A suddenly feeling of dread filled him as the possibility having hurt someone without realizing it popped up in his mind.
But that wasn´t it-
"Your brother has been determined as the one pulling the strings behind the secret drug dealings and having connections to the yakuza."
...
Huh?
Confusion spread through the blond´s features as he took in what the police officer had said just now.
Kasuka?
Dealing drugs?
"My brother would never do that, what the hell are you talking about?" The frown that had been resting on his forehead was only growing deeper and deeper upon mentioning his little brother´s name-
mentioning his little brother -
What the hell were they saying?
"Regardless of whether you believe us, packages filled with amphetamines were delivered to various customers in Ikebukuro last night, including this apartment."
Should he throw a knife at them? Izaya wondered about it for a second. It was the only thing that came to mind as that man continued to ramble, giving out unnecessary information. But then he remembered he didn´t have any on him right now.
None.
Because Shizu-chan had cleared them all away.
"We were given a tip and were therefore able to catch your brother red-handed while tracing the rest of the deliveries. You should have received a delivery earlier."
And suddenly the mailman popped up in Izaya´s mind again.
He had. Of course.
After all, Izaya was the one who sent one to himself so he wouldn´t be suspected.
Dread was closing in on him more and more.
It felt like you were about to witness a disaster, yet you couldn´t do anything about it.
An unpleasant feeling.
"A tip? Who gave you that?" The blond hadn´t connected the dots.
Yet.
Really… just for once.
"We don´t know the name, just that he seems to be an informant of the yakuza."
"You-" And then Shizu-chan turned around.
There it was…
The moment the word "informant" slipped off the officer´s lips, Izaya knew it was over. The stare Shizu-chan gave him told him the blond had figured out everything.
He had messed up, hadn´t he?
He asked Celty to deliver these packages; he stole the drugs from the yakuza and framed Kasuka for selling them. He had done pretty well at pulling it off- all for one single goal.
The same goal he always had.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!" Shizu-chan barked; he was furious. He glared at him like he wanted him to drop dead right where he stood. Just like always, right?
"Shizuo Heiwajima, we need you to come with us as a possible accomplice of-"
"WHY?!" Shizu-chan wasn´t even listening to the police officers anymore.
Instead, he was just glaring at Izaya.
His fists were tightened, and to be honest, Izaya was just waiting to be punched again.
As furious as he was, he deserved it.
But he had achieved his goal, hadn´t he?
Shizu-chan hated him. Right now, he even looked like he was about to yell that he was going to kill him again.
Pure anger.
Hatred.
He despised him.
Just as he planned. He had planned it all the while, before all of this happened.
He wanted exactly this to happen. To make sure that brute would hate his guts.
Before Shizu-chan stated he was going to stop the fights, before all of this ever happened… he had set this plan into motion to make sure he would hate him for all eternity.
So why?
Why did it hurt now to know that Shizu-chan was angry at him? That he hated him?
It was the same fury he always had in his eyes, the same glare, and yet Izaya felt as though it was different this time.
Why? Why did it not elevate him this time?
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" he was still yelling. The police officers were trying to calm him down, shouting something about having to take him with them by force if needed, since he was suspected of helping his brother-
But he was only yelling.
"WHY?!"
Barking. Like a dog.
Barking just as loud as he did when that mailman had come before.
Looking like he had looked at Namie when she came for her paycheck.
And now it was directed at him. That glare.
That anger.
That hatred.
...
"Ne, Shizu-chan, do you hate me now?" The blond blinked, rage still clouding his mind as he stared at the flea in front of him. He was wearing a fucking grin.
A fucking ass smirk. A smirk like he always did, and Shizuo just saw red.
The police officer that had tried to grab hold of Shizuo´s arm was pushed into the wall- the other freezing in fear as the blond stomped towards the flea.
Izaya didn´t even dodge.
Before he knew it, a strong, brutish hand had grabbed the hem of his shirt and flung him into the bookshelf-
Various books fell out of the shelf, hitting the raven´s and blond´s heads. He didn´t complain, he didn´t flinch.
He had caused this… hah, again. He had thought-
What had he even thought?
The fist around his collar tightened; the blond was screaming at him, questions and accusations, violently mad.
He didn´t hear them, really.
A fist was raised, but he barely even took notice of it.
He had fucked up.
He had destroyed everything. He had…
Fuck... why? Why did he do that?
He really thought…
He honestly… had thought that maybe the blond would be able to do something, he had understood him; for the first time in his life, he had felt that someone really got him. Shizu-chan had been trying so hard.
All along.
And now?
He destroyed it.
There was a limit. A limit to how forgiving Shizu-chan could be.
The fist was raised, the police officers yelled, they were even pointing guns at the brute. Heh… it was like always.
He finally achieved what he wanted. Shizu-chan hated him again. Hated him enough to want to kill him again. He could see it in his eyes. It was what he always asked for, right? His hatred.
Yet he felt like he couldn´t swallow.
Suffocating.
It was what he always wanted, no? The only thing he ever wanted.
And he couldn´t help but force a smile. Force it.
He tried as hard as he could.
It was the most difficult smile he ever had to muster.
Because for once… really for once… he thought something could change.
"Seems everything is back to normal." It was barely a whisper that left the flea´s lips. It sounded choked.
So quiet, Shizuo didn´t catch it entirely at first.
His mind was still way too clouded with rage.
"Huh!?" But then the last words he had caught took shape in his mind.
Back to normal.
Normal.
It was only then that he paused, that he heard the police officers behind him.
Back to normal.
And suddenly, Shizuo´s expression dropped.
The rage disappeared once more though, he didn´t let the raven down or lower his fist yet.
…
"What´s wrong with you?" Another stab.
Izaya tilted his head slightly, looking at the brute.
Heh.
What was wrong with him indeed? He wouldn´t be able to tell.
He didn´t even know. He didn´t know why this was hurting so much right now. Why he was caring so much about how Shizu-chan hated him now. How he looked at him.
He had become foolish.
Too dependent, maybe?
Had he seriously considered Shizu-chan helping him? Had he become used to that new Shizu-chan staying with him 24/7 – he didn't know. He couldn´t tell.
All he knew was that he felt like something was being torn apart and being ripped to shreds inside.
Had he trusted him? He didn't know. Maybe he had. Did he believe in him? He didn´t know.
All he knew was that it hurt to think about it.
It strained him to even say anything at the moment.
But he did still.
He had to.
He didn´t even know what to say.
"I wonder about that. Guess you will never find out. Why even. Don´t give a shit, just end it already. Since Shizu-chan is a monster, Shizu-chan should be able to do it." What was he even saying? He couldn´t make sense of his own words anymore.
He had no plan behind it. He didn´t think any more about what Shizu-chan would answer or about what he would say in return.
"After all, he hates me so much~!" He was laughing.
It was all his fault.
He was to blame entirely.
He was laughing with all his might. He didn´t know what else to do.
He never learned how to deal with emotions. Emotions made humans weak.
Emotions were useless, not helping, just burdening.
They were irrational, causing him to do and say things that made no logical sense.
He hated it all.
He hated it.
He couldn´t stand it.
"Heiwajima-san-" It was one of the police officers who had called the blond´s name.
"Get the fuck away from me." Dark. The words were barely whispered; they were dark and dangerous as the blond turned around. He had let go of the raven, though said man didn´t even seem to notice. His eyes were just resting on Shizuo, unfocused.
He didn´t seem to notice the police officers anymore.
Or maybe he just didn´t give a fuck about them.
One of the police officers raised a gun, aiming it at Shizuo´s face, but before he even had the guts to try and shoot, Shizuo had gripped the metal hard, cracking it in his fist as he threw it away-
The man paled, backing away as the blond started to approach him. They were police officers, alright, but even with all the guts they had, they weren´t interested in getting into a fight with the fortissimo of Ikebukuro.
They ran away. Before the blond could even throw one of them out of the apartment, they left on their own.
They would be returning later with more, Shizuo knew that, but right now, he couldn´t give less of a fuck about that. If needed, he would beat them all up.
Instead, he turned around again.
Facing that flea that was still standing there, frozen.
He didn´t know what to make of him anymore.
He had seen so many sides of him by now.
He had seen him as an asshole.
As a laughing maniac.
He had seen him cry, seen him break down.
He had seen how Izaya wasn´t the strong man he used to fight against anymore.
And now, he had seen a traitor. Yeah, he felt betrayed.
But he had also seen a kind side to him.
A scared side.
A scarred side.
A side that was just lonely and hurt enough for a hundred lives.
With slow steps, he approached the flea once more.
He didn´t know what to make of him right now.
"Ahah... what now? Want to kill me? For framing you again?" Izaya wasn´t looking at the brute. He didn´t want to.
"Why did you do that?"
… what a question.
Why was he even asking?
"Does it matter? I framed your brother. Yeah it was me. I hope you get now how stupid you were for whatever you were trying to do."
It really was stupid.
He must be feeling like an idiot for wasting his time with the raven. Foolish.
He told Shizu-chan all along that it was useless, that he didn´t even know what he was doing.
"Why?" He just kept asking.
He wanted a reason. What for, even? He had already shattered whatever there was before.
He had ruined everything, he had thrown away the chance he had. What use would it be to try and explain now?
"… for fun, of course! Just for my amusement, as always."
What did it even matter?
"Did you do it to make me hate you?"
The raven´s eyes widened.
Shizuo didn´t know what to make of him. But somewhere, he really hoped that he hadn´t been wrong all along. He wanted to believe in that 1%.
That one percent that he had seen when Izaya let down all his stupid masks and lies.
That one percent that he saw the night Izaya cried himself to sleep.
That one percent that he saw and heard when Izaya cried in the bathroom, when he thought that he really understood him for once.
He wanted to believe in it.
The raven was still staring at him with wide eyes. He looked confused, maybe just as much as Shizuo was himself.
Undoubtedly, he had done something that Shizuo usually would have beaten him up for. Something he would have chased him through the whole of Ikebukuro for and screamed at him that he was going to kill him one day.
"Did you do it to make me hate you?" He didn´t know where he got that idea from, but it sounded like the flea.
Because that´s what he always did.
And then they were there.
The tears.
Only slowly, they gathered inside his eyes before they dropped down his lashes.
His mouth stretched into a smile and he laughed, though the tears didn´t stop.
"Yeah, that´s right. It was just to annoy you, to make you destroy the city again like the monster you are." He seemed desperate.
He wanted to help him.
Still.
Even after what he pulled just now.
There was no way he could just leave him alone after all this.
"Izaya." The raven visibly flinched at hearing his own name. He couldn´t look at the blond anymore. He was scared of what he was going to hear, of what the blond was going to say.
He didn´t want to hear it.
He didn´t-
"Stop crying." And suddenly, there was an arm around his shoulder. And another, at the back of his head, pushing his face softly into a certain blond´s shoulder.
Hesitantly, he brought his hands up to Shizuo´s chest, pushing against it half-heartedly.
He was confused.
Was he trying to hug him…? To comfort him?
He couldn´t believe it.
Why?
Stop crying?
"Ahaha. What are you talking about, I´m not crying." He pushed harder, he didn´t understand what Shizu-chan was doing.
He just betrayed him. He framed his brother just like he framed him ages ago. It was what made him detest him this much in the first place, and yet-
He forced his lips into a smile once more, even though Shizu-chan wouldn´t be able to see it.
"I´m laughing, see? This was all just a game!"
"Stop."
The word was whispered quietly. Neither angry, nor annoyed. Calm.
"What do you want me to stop? Framing you and your family?" He already knew it wasn´t what the blond was talking about, but he couldn´t stop himself from saying bullshit.
"Stop pretending already, Izaya!" The hands wrapped around him in an awkward loose hug tightened slightly."I´m fucking sick of it. You can´t even stop crying, but still laugh as if you would be able to convince me that way. Please… just stop it."
…
The raven didn´t say anything.
"Please. I´m sorry, okay? I just got angry." Wordlessly, Shizuo let his fingers brush through the raven´s hair, soothingly.
He didn´t know what to do, and the hug was awkward as fuck, but he felt he needed to do something to make Izaya understand.
Truth to be told he wanted to just squeeze that stupid informant tightly and tell him everything was going to be okay. But he had a feeling he wouldn´t let him.
He would run away, withdraw.
Kind of like a cat would if you petted it the wrong way.
Those kind of words wouldn´t help him, either. That much he had figured out already.
"I didn´t want that to happen now." Although it was a quiet whisper, it was right next to Shizuo´s ear, making it possible for him to understand clearly nonetheless.
"I really didn´t know they were coming." Izaya´s voice sounded hoarse, choked. He was probably trying to hold back on showing any emotion.
"I mean, I planned for it initially, but I forgot." He sounded sorry.
"I didn´t want that to happen right now."
Desperate.
Shizuo could feel the wet tears stain his shirt.
"I believe you... so stop crying, please." He really believed him.
Because right now, he was showing that 1% again.
"Don´t you see it? I am an asshole!" he almost yelled. It sounded accusing of himself, and even though Shizuo already told Izaya to stop saying those things, knew he wasn´t doing it to make him mad right now.
Not while leaning on his shoulder to cry.
"You were always right when you said you hated me enough to kill me! You are supposed to hate me!" He just let him blurt everything out.
Interrupting or asking him anything wouldn´t get him any further.
"So that was meant to make me hate you more." It was a statement. Something that he had understood.
Silence followed.
"Izaya. I already know that you are somewhat obsessed with me, but that… really, why are you so obsessed with me hating you?"
He didn´t understand. He really didn´t. Being hated wasn´t a nice feeling, no matter how he looked at it.
So why? He didn´t get it at all-
But he knew that it seemed to be important to the flea.
"I´m not going to go away."
He wasn´t. This just now had been a fluke.
An accident. He wouldn´t leave the flea alone. He said he was going to help him.
And that´s exactly what he was going to do now.
To be continued~
hehehe~ C:
Well then, noone expected that to be the police did you? xDDD Haha and nuh uh that package last time wasn´t just a -let´s break the kiss scene- thingy xD It was a drug package *0* xDD
Anyway, I hope chu liked this chapter C: Even with the awkward hug xD
And noooooowwww, I got some news for you *0*
I will be starting another two stories *^* xD
Now before people say this is a bad idea since then it´s 6 ongoing stories in total, no worries C:
I will be updating 3 stories each weekend. As you can see on my profile (where I will always post which chapters are coming out)
Next Sunday (24th.6.2016), I will update "The wish to disappear" 27, "Sinful desire" chapter 1 and "Survival of the doomed" 10
Together! with the PICTURE of twtd chapter 1 xD I didn´t forget haha nuh worries~ you will be getting the art I promised C: I hope it won´t disappoint you though x'D Giving my best here xD
And the following Sunday (31st.6.2016) I will update "No escape" 8, "Behind closed doors" 10 and "A single touch" chapter 1 *0* together with "I want to stay with you forever" chapter 38, the sexy chapter~ C; C; C; C; C;
The Sunday after that (7th.7.2016) I will update "The wish to disappear" 28, "Sinful desire" 2 and "Survival of the doomed" 11 C;
And so on
So basically I will always update 3 stories each Sunday C: And maybe an extra one shot or picture additionally, depends C: 4 updates a week were kinda a bit stressy to pull off for a long time span so I decided to settle for this instead C;
Also this way actually leaves me a lot more time to think about the actual plot, I mean I have 14 days from now on, like wow, if I get stuck I need not worry cuz the next update is only set in 14 days xD I need this especially since I´m slowly but surely getting drained for spontaneous idea for Twtd and No escape xD
Moreover, I was just BURNING to write those two other stories xDDDD With all these dark stories, I was craving to write some smut xDD So hey~ If you miss the sexy times too you might like the "Sinful desire"~ C; xD And also, I kept getting ideas for "A single touch" (the rape story that was in my poll) so I just figured, if I´m already writing at it anyway I might as well post it xD
So hey~ Long author´s not is long xD
See you next Sunday C;