AUTHOR'S NOTE:

This was one of the first chapters I've written for this story (minus a few details I've added as the story kept unfolding), back when it consisted of about 10 chapters in total. I can't help but think that it feels a little out of place now, but I didn't want to discard it altogether. So I guess this is kind of like a segue into what will probably be the last part of this story (consisting of several chapters).

Enjoy! And if you feel like it, leave a review. Every single one makes me very happy :-)

It was a busy night at the Penny, and they were right in the middle of it. The alcohol kept flowing, as did the conversations. Holly took in her surroundings for a moment. Her friends. Gail's friends. Their friends.

You couldn't say they had really merged their circles of friends – Gail's friends were a little too much of a sworn in, close-knit circle to accommodate more than a few singular "intruders", and Holly didn't really have this huge circle of friends that Gail did, but rather a number of smaller circles and individuals she hung out with – and for the most part they, luckily, mixed rather well with the gang from 15. There were Marcus and Isabel from the lab, Marcus' husband Peter, and at times Isabel's boyfriend – depending on whether she had one at the moment or not. There were the girls, her closest friends from school. Rachel, who had an on-again-off-again thing going on with Chris. Neither Gail nor Holly had been really happy about it, since they suspected that they were just headed for heartbreak in the end, but after pointing out vigorously that they would not be caught in the middle of their relationship drama, they just let them be. There was Vivian, now mostly busy rearing and bearing kids, who basically just got along with anyone. Sometimes Holly thought that was because she was somewhat lacking in character, a thought that made her feel guilty and judgmental whenever it crossed her mind. Speaking of. Of course, there was Lisa. Lisa, whom she came to have a very ambivalent relationship with, as did Rachel and Vivian. But she had been a part of their group for so long, had gone with them through so much, and she certainly had her qualities, so that she still tagged along every now and then, invited or not. Two of her childhood friends, Connor and Marie, whom she was hoping most would get along with Gail's friends – and they blended in perfectly from the first time they met. Aside from that, she had a number of other friends from university, who weren't around very often though, seeing as they were scattered all over the country or continent, had families, or were just too busy to hang out all that much.

They hardly ever got everyone together – the last time must have been their wedding – but tonight was one of those nights where, for some reason, everything fell into place and most people were actually there. Gail sat to her right, engrossed in conversation with Marie, Swarek and Andy, her hand finding Holly's thigh every now and then to establish contact. Holly had been a bag of nerves when she introduced Gail and Marie – both times. But then and now, the two hit it off right away. Peter was talking to Nick. He was ex-military, so they always had things to talk about.

Holly's and Nick's relationship was still a little strained, and Holly supposed it would always stay that way. She wasn't usually a resentful person, and she wasn't usually a jealous one, either. Not when it came to Gail. She knew that she had no reason not to trust her. But that night, that night, there may have been a reason not to. She knew that, and she knew that Nick knew that. And he went ahead anyway, fully aware of the pain he would cause, fully aware of the betrayal he was about to commit, not just towards Holly but also towards Gail. And Holly couldn't forgive that. Neither could Steve. The others were a little more lenient in their judgement, even though most of them would have sided with Holly if they had to chose. Even Gail came around. Sure, she found his behaviour reckless and outrageous, but she couldn't get too emotional about it because, being the person at the centre of his ploy, she knew that he was never even remotely close to getting anywhere with it. Anyway, it didn't matter in the end. Nick was one of them, part of the family, and what he did just wasn't bad enough to have him shunned. Holly knew that. So she came to terms with it, ignored him when she could, and treated him with impersonal politeness when she had to.

Marcus was joking around with Chloe and Traci, while Dov was in conversation with Chris and Rachel, not really noticing that he was a third wheel and an obstacle in their flirting. Celery and Naomi looked on from the sidelines, kind of like parents watching their children, always on the lookout that something might happen, while Steve, Oliver and Connor were their usual trio, always bantering, never really up to any good. And then, to her left, there was Lisa. Lisa whom she had tried to maintain a stilted conversation with for over half an hour now, owed to the fact that Holly simply didn't trust her friend anymore. She didn't trust her with the intimate details of her life, with how she was feeling, with what was going on inside her, with her problems, her worries, her hopes and dreams. So they stuck to the superficial, Holly elegantly circumnavigating all of her questions and comments that could lead to anything more personal.

She felt Gail squeeze her thigh as she got up from her chair and she looked up at the blonde who grinned at her. She knew Holly would react to her movement immediately.

"I'm off to the bathroom." She said, adding in a whisper, so that only Holly could hear. "I'll be back in no time to come to your rescue."

Holly didn't want to wait, though. She mirrored Gail's actions, now facing her up close. "I'll go get some more drinks in the meantime."

"Alright babe. I'll see you in a bit." Gail smiled and pressed a lingering kiss to Holly's lips before she hurried off to the bathroom.

Of course she would follow her. It's like she had only been waiting for a situation like this all night, an opportunity to get her alone.

"So." she simply stated, as Holly turned to her right to look at her.

"So? What?" she asked in an annoyed tone. She didn't know what Lisa was going for, but she could already tell by the expression on her face, it wouldn't be anything good.

"How long are you going to keep playing this game?" Her voice was full of reproach and already, not even two sentences in, Holly was about to explode with anger.

"What game?" She tried to be as brief as possible. The less she said, the less she could lash out. This was supposed to be a nice evening.

"The one were you pretend everything is alright. That you and Gail are this happy couple."

"Uhm. We are happy. Everything is alright." She made a point of facing away from Lisa, focusing on the bartender instead to get his attention and order more drinks for herself and Gail.

"Come on, Holly! I've talked to Rachel. And to Stephanie, and to Janet, and to Vivian. They all told me what happened at Rachel's party. How Gail treated you. I told you, you and her are not at eye level. You belong in different worlds. This is your chance to get out. Stop torturing yourself. No-one could blame you if you would."

The brunette spun around and fixated the other woman with and angry and intense gaze.

"Wow. Just wow. I cannot believe you have the audacity to come here and talk about Gail like that, to use the way she reacted to a horrible situation, one that you caused in the first place, by the way, against her like that. The mere fact that you believe we are not at eye level – and sure, I do believe that you really believe that –, that you think that any of this is torture for me, shows how little insight you have into our relationship. The advice for me to take my chance to get out proves how little you know about what I want and how I feel. And how little you care about that. So let me spell it out for you: I am exactly where I want to be, and that is with Gail."

"Oh really. And which Gail is that? The one that you married? Because I don't see a ring on her finger. Do you? Face it, Holly, that Gail is gone. And that Gail right here? She has no idea what she's doing. Look. Amnesia or not, this thing with you and Gail was bound to break. Stop wasting your time. I mean, I get it. She is hot. She is different. I'm sure she's a good fuck. You've had your fun. But it's time to get serious about life and find someone who's on your level. And… just look at this from her perspective. She knows she can't keep up with you. Sure, you've been convenient, you've been there for her. Of course she's with you – for now."

She was just about to make her way back to the table with the drinks, effectively ignoring her former friend, when she ran out of the last ounce of patience and self-control she had been holding on to. Placing the bottles back on the counter with a thud, she vented her anger.

"Ok. That's enough. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you think that way. I'm sorry you have such a crooked perception of the world. I'm sorry you obviously have no idea what love is. I don't know what happened to you that you became this bitter, cynical, vicious person. I know I don't owe you an explanation. In fact, you don't even deserve one. But I'll humour you for a minute and give you one anyway. Yes. I've had my fun. So much fun. Yes. I have been there for her. And I always will be there. And I trust… I know that she will be as well. And, since you brought it up, yes, she is a great fuck. Amazing, mind blowing, in fact. You have no idea. And, amnesia or not, if there is one thing that I know for sure it's that I love her, her, and that she loves me. You know, I remember a time when you used to be my friend, Lisa. What the hell happened?"

"Holly, come…" She was silenced by the raise of a hand.

"No. Shut up. Actually, thank you. Thank you for that little demonstration just now. Thank you for giving me the final reason in a long, long list of reasons to do what I should have done years ago."

"Oh, and what is that?" Lisa challenged her.

"Get the fuck out of our lives, Lisa."

She turned around to walk away and ran straight into Gail's arms. She froze and stared at the blonde in shock. Why were they apparently bound to end up in this situation? What did she hear? Why hadn't she eliminated her from her life the first time she pulled a stunt like this, right here at the same bar? Or after the comment she made when they got back together, or when she told her they got engaged? She didn't know.

"I'm so sorry for whatever you heard, Gail. Please, please don't take anything she said seriously." Gail's eyes were darting back and forth between Holly and Lisa, who was still standing behind her… wife, unmoving.

"Did you not hear what Holly just said? Get. Out. Now." She stared at the blonde for a long while, surely conjuring up some insult to accompany her departure, but finally ended up just shaking her head in a frustrated gesture and stomping off.

"Hey. Hey. Are you alright?" She gently placed her hands on both sides of Holly's face, placing several quick kisses on her lips.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you basically just broke up with one of your best friends."

She let her gaze travel towards the door and watched Lisa walk out before she took a deep breath of relief and focused back on the blonde.

"First of all, it's been a long time since I regarded her as a friend, let alone one of my best friends. And second, this has been long overdue. It's not the first time she pulled this crap. I don't even know why I still put up with her until now. I guess I always wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. And she never came through. You have no idea how good I'm feeling right now, what a relief this is!"

After a few moments of silence, Gail started quietly. "You know she's wrong, right? I mean, you didn't just say that." Her tone became more assertive as she repeated. "You know she's wrong."

"What do you mean?" She took a step closer to Holly and placed her hands on the brunette's hips. Her eyes were roaming over Holly's face, until they met and held her gaze.

"I do love you, Holly. I love you. And I know exactly what I'm doing. I'm not with you because you're convenient. I'm with you because you are the most amazing and wonderful person that I've ever met. I'm with you because this, you, is where everything makes sense, where I feel like I am just me, where I am just… happy." She smiled at Gail serenely.

"I know. I know all that, Gail. There's not a doubt in my mind about it. You can keep telling me though."

She winked at the blonde who slapped her shoulder and rolled her eyes playfully. She turned serious again and regarded Holly quietly for a while before she nodded and kissed her softly. "Good."

"You know she's wrong too, right?" Holly's eyes were suddenly boring into her.

The blonde nodded again, more hesitantly this time, and whispered a "Yeah."

"Yeah?" Holly questioned.

"Yeah." Her answer was more determined this time.

They spent the rest of the night talking to and laughing with their friends. It was a long night and they were both happy to settle in bed in the early hours of the morning.

"What an eventful night." Holly sighed as she settled in behind Gail, placing her arm firmly around her waist.

"I know. It was still fun though, right?" She usually dreaded these big social gatherings, the constant threat of someone engaging her in conversation, the constant requirement to be friendly, or at least somewhat polite. But it wasn't so hard after all. She had come to feel pretty comfortable with her colleagues and friends. Especially Traci and Oliver, of course, but also, surprisingly, Chloe and, as always, the boys. The last months had also gotten her considerably closer to her brother. And then there were some new additions that she had quickly become very fond of. Marie, whom she wished she had known all her life, and Holly's colleagues from the lab. She liked their dark humour, their fascination with death. Rachel… Well, after Gail's meltdown at her birthday party, they had talked things out. They were good, they respected each other, and opposed to Lisa, Rachel clearly saw that Gail belonged at Holly's side. But they would never become best friends. They both knew that, and it was ok.

First and foremost, though, there was Holly, who made everything more bearable, more fun, easier, just with her presence. Her mother was right about that.

So yeah, it really was a fun night. She really did have fun. But everything that happened with Lisa was still on her mind. It bothered her that it was, because she knew she should know better. But she couldn't help it.

"We're happy, right? You are happy, right?" Holly had already been on the verge of falling asleep and was startled awake by Gail's question.

"What? Yes, Gail. I am happy. Very happy. Is this about Lisa?" She pulled the blonde in a little bit closer.

"I was just… I just wanted to make sure." She tried to keep her tone light, realising that her question worried Holly a little. But the brunette was already lost in thoughts of her own. Something she had wanted to ask Gail for some time now. Maybe this was the right moment.

"There is one thing, though, that would make me even happier." She felt Gail tense up a little in her arms, waiting for what was to come. "You could... You could come home. Move back in, for real, permanently, I mean. If you wanted to, that is. I know… I know you don't remember this as your home, but I think you do kind of feel at home here? And you spend most of your time here anyway. No pressure, though, I just…" Gail turned around, grinning, and silenced Holly with a kiss.

"You were rambling. You could have saved yourself the speech, you know?" Holly raised her eyebrows in question.

"Actually… I kinda thought I already lived here. I mean, do you remember the last time I didn't spend the night here? Or the last time that that was even a conceivable option? Also, it would be really inconvenient to live somewhere else, now that literally all of my stuff is here." Gail shrugged, pressed another kiss to Holly's lips and turned back around, huddling against Holly's body behind her.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled." Holly muttered, still pleasantly surprised – yet surprised still – by Gail's reaction.

"Mhm." Gail sighed happily as she pulled Holly in closer and just before she drifted off.