A/N: Good evening lovelies! Apologies in advance – this one is going to seem very out of season, I originally wrote the Halloween chapter of Ianto Jones's Diary on the 31st itself… and now coming to catch up on this story it's very late/early for the holiday depending on how you look at things… But I couldn't resist doing a Jack's POV for the story so forgive me! Also – to whom-ever may be interested MARK GATISS REPLIED TO MY TWEET! I did a happy dance :) Anyway, enough waffle: hope you enjoy! Hannah xxx

I just checked the date on my watch: it's the 28th of October and that means that Halloween is just three days away! I have just three days to wait until I have an undeniable excuse to dress up in a ridiculous costume, engage in a whole host of pranks and act as childishly as I like! Not that I don't act childishly upon occasion anyway, I mean I might be 'the big boss', the one who carries the largest gun and bears the brunt of the responsibility for Torchwood's actions… but I do like to have a little fun in the process.

Having lived through so many decades of Halloweens, and seen the changing role of the festival within society and within different cultures, it really is interesting to compare it to how we celebrated Hallows Eve back (forward?) on Boshane… In the early 20th Century we used to carve out turnips and swedes to produce frightening lanterns, but gradually people switched to pumpkins (and to using the term 'Jack-o-lanterns which I much prefer!) due to the influence of America which are quite frankly a hell of a lot easier to carve; I've cut my left index finger off so many times carving out a Halloween turnip… I may not be a true American, but after blending myself into the world of the 'Yankee' soldiers during the Great War and in WWII I really got into the idea of taking out the younger children in the local area trick or treating, and helping them 'egg' people's houses who refused to give out any treats (what can I say – I'm a bad influence on the younger generation) and it was no longer like I was trying to fit in, I genuinely had a flavour for these bizarre traditions.

Of course Halloween in the 20th Century, and even Halloween in the 21st Century, is vastly different from what the holiday has morphed into in the 51st… When I was a kid, and a young adult with the same strong inner child I bear now, on Boshane Halloween was less of a holiday and more of a celebration – we called it the, it was all that different from the Día de Muertos that is celebrated in Mexico today. We would all take part in extravagent carnivals, wearing bright costumes and masks that looked like skulls, in order to both commemorate the happy lives of those that had been lost, and to celebrate the fact that we were free from the evil spirits which had plagued us in the past. Children and adults lined the streets with streamers and banners and everyone partied until the morning of the next day, children (and I am including myself as I child here…) would play tricks and receive treats just as they do on Earth now… but they were very different to the kinds you might receive today.

So you can imagine why I might be excited!

We were at Ianto's this evening, having a nice quiet night in with a Bond film – I've forgotten which one, Ianto was sat practically on my lap and I could hardly waste my attention on a TV screen now could I? – a generous glass of red wine each and some of Ianto's delicious home cooking, Eggs Florentine being his dish of choice tonight, when it suddenly came to me that we must have a Torchwood Halloween party!

"So Ianto… what are you dressing up as for Halloween this year?" I asked as we were sat on the sofa relaxing and finishing the bottle off.

His response was quite amusing, he seemed to splutter a little on his wine and I'd go so far as to say that I managed to startle the unflappable Mr Jones… yet he recovered and glossed over it so very quickly with an all too innocent "Halloween?"… Surely he can't have a problem with Halloween, can he?

"You know, pumpkins and candy and scaring kids and stuff. Halloween!" I replied grinning, pretending I hadn't noticed.

"Well, I wasn't planning on dressing up at all… but if you had something in mind?" He replied, wiggling his eyebrows in a rather uncharacteristically suggestive manner… if I didn't know the Welshman better, I'd say he was trying to change the topic by distracting me with sex!

I just laughed lightly before replying, "Nothing like that Mr Jones, I clearly have been having an influence on your innocent mind! No what I was thinking was Torchwood Halloween party!" I said, the volume of my voice rising with my excitement and my grin widening to match.

"Sounds great" He replied, almost convincingly… I think I am going to have to do some digging and see what the issue is there… but for now: I have a party to organise, outfits to plan and an ingenious prank to set up! I can't wait to see their faces… I've been planning it for almost a year now and it is so going to kick last year's trick's ass!

Well I've had a very successful morning's shopping! I took an hour out during a rather boring lull rift and any other activity wise to go off in search of costumes and decorations for the hub. After a good thirty minutes browsing the fancy dress store I eventually decided not to go for the predictable choice – a 'Rocky' costume from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, i.e. gold hot pants and spray on oil – but rather the classic Ghost Busters uniform. Having seen Ianto's reaction to my mere mention of a costume, I decided that I'd better purchase his as well, but it was much easier for me to settle upon what he should wear; red is so his colour that it just had to be a devils costume! There were two to select between: one was basically a deep red silk shirt with a brighter red cape and standard horns tail and fork, to wear with black trousers… but the other was just the accessories and a skimpy pair of red Lycra hot pants, not dissimilar to those in the Rocky costume. It was so very tempting to go with the hot pants… after all it would certainly give me something to look at all evening… but I also know that Ianto would kill me; twice probably, so I went with the cape one.

I also managed to buy out the shop of all of its remaining cobweb and grave stone and skull decorations in order to decorate the hub with, after all it's just not a party without decorations and it certainly isn't Halloween without them. Oh, and I've practically bought Tesco's out of toilet roll… we don't want to run short when we're dressing each other up as mummies!

Aha! I knew I was right! Ianto does have a problem with Halloween… and by problem… I mean he hates it! Shortly after I announced the plans for a party to the rest of the team – who were all almost as excited as I – Toshiko came up to my desk to tell me that Ianto really detests this holiday, that he wouldn't even fully explain to her why he hated it so much so it must be for some pretty impressive reason, but yet he was prepared to ignore that so that I could still enjoy myself. She gave me another quick reminder about how I had 'better be treating him properly' afterwards as well… which only added to the sense of guilt I was feeling about making Ianto come to a party that he would hate. But… he had said that he had wanted to pretend everything was ok and let me have my fun, so even though I know it's probably wrong… I'm not cancelling the party, besides he'd only get cross with Tosh if he found out that she had 'told' on him.

Oh and I made sure to remind Tosh of the valuable life lesson that Mean Girls has taught us: that Halloween is the one night of the year that girls are allowed to dress up as total sluts without anyone saying a word… I suggested that Owen might appreciate it very highly if she wore something shall we say... provocative? I doubt that she will, but the advice has been given!

I am going to be very nice to him though, no more jokes about the scary (yet sexy) hot pants costume he could have ended and I've written him a nice little letter asking him to buy a few things for the party…

'Dear Jones, Ianto Jones,

I have decided that you are the most trustworthy and qualified member of the team to carry out the very important task of purchasing our desperately needed food and beverage supplies for the 31st. Could you please also replenish our coffee supplies, as nobody else knows what on earth blend (s?) you buy to create such an orgasmic sensation!

Many thanks,

Captain Jack Harkness xx'

Well today is the big day! Tosh and Gwen have decorated the hub beautifully (or should I say horrifically?) and I have already laid step one of my incredibly amazing Halloween prank in place! This morning I faked a call from the police asking us for our help on some non- important case that require no assistance from the others and gave me the opportunity to be out of the hub without arousing suspicion. I've yet to tell Ianto, or any of the others what I am wearing this evening, I'm leaving it up to their imaginations at the moment and god knows what they must be picturing… he did try asking me one last time again before I left, but I deflected it quite expertly:

"Aren't I terrifying enough dressed as myself?" I winked

"Only when you're dressed as yourself and driving above 90… or attempting to make coffee… or cook" He said, tone rich with sarcasm, prompting me to lightly punch him on the arm.

While I was 'out' I was in fact down in the secret old laboratory that I don't even think Ianto is aware of, it's below even the lowest level cells and doesn't appear on any of the site maps for the building, anyway this was where I had been storing the necessary equipment for my ultimate prank. I'd managed to implant alien-grade robotic technology into an old shop manikin and set a timing system in place so that the body reacted in certain ways on a pre-set sequence that I could trigger from my wrist strap. In a way it might have been nice if I had let Ianto in on my big trick, we could have had a right laugh together and I would have had one extra brain and set of hand when working on my major prop for tonight's entertainment… but it'll be so much more fun to do it the way I have schemed, plus in this version of the plan, I have factored in a little alone time for us in my bunker whilst the others are frantically investigating the mystery above.

I hauled the body in through the cog door, making it look as though I had returned from the outside world, and placed the manikin under a sheet un the autopsy bay, telling them that it was just another Weevil victim, James Monroe, who seemed to have caught a contagious form of rabies from his bite wounds, and nobody was to touch him until after further tests had been carried out. That would sure as hell ensure that it remained untouched until the vital moment. Anyway, I've been up here getting ready for far too long now! I'm fully suited up as a Ghostbuster and so better make my way down stairs to start on our first round of mummifying each other!

After the mummy game, in which poor Ianto bless him had a little trip, I had to try so very hard not to laugh, we had a 'bite' to eat I pulled out the old Ouija board (stage two of my grand plan) much to everyone's distaste… I had a fear that this might happen, and it was absolutely essential to my plan that we used the board!

"Come on!" I begged "It'll be fun! Besides I bet it won't work anyway!"

"Jack I'm not sure it's a good idea to have a séance in a room where so many people and creatures have died in less than happy states" Gwen replied, trying to think rationally as ever.

"I'm all for it, it's just mumbo jumbo anyway, and it is Halloween after all" Owen shrugged – one down!

"Tosh? Ianto?" I turned expectantly towards them, fairly certain that Ianto would indulge me at least.

"Oh why not" Tosh said, and Owen gave her a high five. She seemed very pleased about that…

"Majority rules" I said very quickly before Ianto or Gwen had the opportunity to counter argue.

"Is there anybody there?" I asked, deliberately hamming up the sense of fear in my voice, trying to create a suitable atmosphere that would aid the runnings of my prank.

Gently I pushed the glass towards the 'yes' square.

"Why are you here?"

I moved the glass to spell out R-E-V-E-N-G-E and smiled inwardly at the audible intakes of breath surrounding me.

"Who are you?" I proceeded.

J-A-M-E-S M-O-N… I managed to get almost all of the 'victim's' names spelled before Tosh knocked over the glass in fright.

I discretely pressed the trigger button on my wrist strap and watched in delight at the frightened faces of my friends as they saw the lights flicker and the 'body' of James Monroe begin to glow and rise up out of its lying down position on the autopsy table, only returning to its placid state once I hit the button once more to turn the lights back on again.

"What the bloody hell was that" Owen asked.

"I-I've no idea" Tosh replied "was that real?"

"Do you know what it looked like…?" I began, successfully managing to contain my laughter. "Oh never mind It's probably nothing" I finished.

"What?" Gwen demanded.

"Well, from what I've read about them it looked like the Gelth – the ones who were responsible for opening the rift in the first place." I concluded ominously, praying that they were buying this all, because if they were I had just made Halloween prank history.

"But surely they would have had to come back through the rift, and the alert would have gone off, not to mention the hub's alarms should have sounded if something had got inside." Tosh suggested.

"Perhaps there's a problem with our equipment." I hadn't banked on Tosh's quick responses… luckily I can think on my feet! "Tosh and Gwen if you check over the system and make sure everything is running ok, Owen start taking a look at the body – I finished the tests on the Weevil and it the disease it has isn't harmful to humans so you'll be fine. Ianto, come with me to my office – I have the files on the Gelth somewhere in there." And now I could get Ianto alone for a bit…

As they set about engaging in their various tasks, I took Ianto up to my office and pretended to search around for the 'files' eventually concluding that they 'must be down in the bunker'. I couldn't contain the laughter any more once we were safely inside and out of ear shot of the others; I couldn't believe that they had actually fallen for it!

He just stared at me with an adorably confused expression on his face for a few minutes while my laughter died down, then I explained how it had all been part of my 'ultimate Halloween trick' which he didn't seem too impressed by…

"Wait Ianto, don't go, you're not angry are you?" I called out after him as he made to leave

"Of course not", He smiled back; much to my surprise… considering he hated the holiday and all, and he had just sighed like a disapproving parent when I revealed my actions.

"Are you sure, Positive?"

"Absolutely."

"It's just a little bird told me you hate Halloween…" I hope he wouldn't get too cross with Tosh.

"Ah" he replied quite simply.

"Ah indeed. Why didn't you just tell me?" I questioned.

"Because, I know how much you enjoy Halloween and well I thought that it was worth putting up with a few hours of grief and embarrassment." I so don't deserve him.

"You didn't have to you know, I would have understood. But… I am kinda glad you did put up with it, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to pull off that awesome trick – I've been planning it for nearly 10 months now. It beats last year's hands down and that one was a killer." I couldn't resist grinning widely at my triumphs!

"It was very convincing, I'll give you that. How did you do it?" He asked, grinning himself now.

"Well, I was moving the glass so controlling what it said was easy. And by telling you that the "body" was potentially infected with rabies, none of you got close enough to it to realise that it in fact wasn't real. Aside from that it was just a good application of robotics and electricity." I finished, pleased to have someone to boast to about my extensive plans.

"Well come on then, we'd better go back up and tell them all that it was just a prank" He said.

"Now now, Ianto they'll figure it out shortly – after all I don't imagine it'll take long for Owen to realise that he is dissecting a fake… but for now we're all alone down here… and you are wearing red after all… I say we just leave them to it for a while." I winked, finally getting to the part of my plan that I had been looking forward to (almost) the most.

"You, Sir, have an evil streak in you" He teased.

"Says you, you're the one dressed as the devil!" And we both laughed.

"JACK!" Thundered three angry voices from the main floor of the hub.

"Well that took less time than I thought!" I winked, and bounded up the steps out of the bunker and down into the hub to greet the very best part of the prank with open arms!