Hi guys! I'm on a role so I'm going to continue writing the next chapter even after I post! Thanks for reading and all your support- specifically thankful for the reviews that hounded me to write faster; not only did they make me laugh, but I swear they actually work! ENJOY

Embry's POV

The weeks after the near sex incident, as Jared once got nearly killed for jokingly calling it, are pretty tough, though that has nothing to do with the incident itself. Lena spends the nights following pretty damn miserable. Although I spend all of my time constantly reassuring her that this isn't true, she lost a lot of her abilities in the time off she took recovering from getting shot. She's slower. She's behind. She's not the best anymore, and even though that will come back with time, it's nearly killing her.

The last three nights have been spent with Lena in my bed, crying and worrying- so much worry, and to be honest, I really can't blame her. Her entire life centered around excelling at dance, and now that she isn't the best anymore, it's like she has no idea what to do. She's always been able to work harder and see the results, but now she's working the hardest she can- she can't work any harder- and she's still not good enough.

I've never seen Lena like this before. She's always been so self-assured, so understanding of what she wants and what she needs and the goals that she needs to achieve, but now she's… lost.

The only slightly positive aspect of this terrible situation is that all of this dance shit has drawn the attention away from nearly killing Lena the last time things got heated between us. The day after it all happened, I decided to go to Quil. Lena made it pretty clear that she did not want Jacob to hear about this, and aside from him, Quil is the only other one with an imprint that started when they were children. Though, that didn't really make that much of a difference.

Quil freaked out.

And by freaked out, I mean that he called an emergency meeting with the entire pack, including Jacob, Seth, Quil, Jared, and the rest of them; at least the elders didn't get involved, because although the name sounds ridiculous to me because of my relationship with them, Paul and Sam are included in that group because they stopped phasing. I'm not really interested in Paul finding out that I nearly killed his daughter because I just couldn't control myself in the heat of passion.

Not only was it extremely embarrassing, but it was difficult in a different sense. I always knew that everyone had moments in which they questioned the way that I dealt with my developing relationship with Lena, though I always knew that they knew that I was doing what I believed to be best. That night, though, they looked at me differently. I had almost hurt her. I had been an inch and a second away from killing her. Killing her.

And as the safety of our imprints remains our most important law, my lack of self-control became a serious topic of discussion. One of the many issues, though, is that we had nothing to go on. Not only had it never happened before, but we had no idea why it happened, or if it would happen again. I couldn't even really explain why; all I knew is that need for her overpowered me, which, according to Quil who waited just as long as I did, happened to him too, though he did not turn into an animal right before they were about to do the deed.

At the end of it, it was decided that I wasn't allowed to touch her until we figured out a safe plan of action. The whole thing would have been ironic if it wasn't so terrible; I always looked for a way to turn Lena down in fear of going too fast for her, and now I have a legitimate excuse. When Jacob commanded me not to be physical with Lena until further notice, it was an alpha command, meaning that I literally can't.

Not too excited about telling Lena that one, so I most definitely will keep it to myself for the time being.

Only, Lena has been too preoccupied with what she views as her failing career path to pressure me too much, though she definitely has asked. My answer is always the same: We're figuring it out and it's not something else for her to worry about worrying about. Oh, and that everything will be okay and that I love her very, very much. Thankfully, it has seemed to work so far, but I wonder how long until Lena pushes for more, and how terrible her reaction will be when she realizes how big of a deal this has actually become.

I'm finishing up a conference call when a call from Scarlett comes in on the other line. I let it go to voicemail as I bullshit some pleasantries as a way to make sure this client is a shoe-in before getting off of the phone, only, she calls again. And once more. And then on the fourth call I end the call with the client and finally pick up.

"Scarlett?"

"Hi," She says, her voice teetering on nervousness.

"Hi," I answer slowly. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. And I really don't want you to freak out."

Her tone and the way she is talking reminds me so much of when she was a teenager that it makes a wide smile engulf my face.

"About what, princess?" I tease her.

"She's fine."

My smile drops in an instant as my jaw goes rigid.

"Who's fine?"

"Lena."

I am standing in one millisecond flat.

"What happened?" Is it that stalker guy? Did he somehow get out? Did someone try to cut her foot off again? What now?

"Like I said," Scarlett repeats. "She's fine."

"Scarlett," I have to stop myself from yelling at her. "What's wrong?"

"So, she was at practice today and they think she had an… attack. Like, you know how she used to? When she was little?"

"Like a breathing attack?" I question.

"Yes. She's fine now. She's just, struggling a little bit. They thought she had a pneumothorax but she's fine. Just an asthma induced attack. I- I don't really know. I can't reach Paul. He's at a game and she's fine so I don't want to pull him from it so I left a voicemail and he'll come when he's done."

"Fuck, Scar," I rub my face. "They thought she had a collapsed lung? What the fuck? How hard were they working her?"

"I don't know, Embry. I just-," She sighs. "I'm just scared. Once second my daughter is in the hospital for being stabbed in the foot, and the next for being shot, and now this. Is it ever going to end?"

"Relax," I tell her sternly. "We don't want you having a panic attack now too, princess."

"Ha. Ha."

"I'm coming."

"Hurry."

"Is there a reason you're not wanting to bother your husband? Trouble in your glass castle?"

"Not my castle I'm worried about. He's been saying things."

"What kind of things?" I ask as I reach for my keys and head out the door.

"Things about how he thinks this is too much for her. About how maybe it would be in her best interest to cut back."

If it wasn't for Lena in the hospital, that alone would have made me stop dead in my tracks. "He wants her to quit?"

"You can't say anything to her!" She quickly tells me. "She'll flip out. And it's ridiculous. It's not his decision, I know that- but this will certainly not help. Just- just let me tell Paul, okay?"

"Alright, I will. I'm on my way."

I drive so recklessly to the hospital I am surprised that I don't arrive on a stretcher, though it matters little when I walk up to the emergency department and see Scarlett standing in the hallway before a small room, biting her nail nervously and pacing back and forth.

She notices me before I say anything to her, and I immediately pass to enter Lena's room.

"Embry!" Scarlett pops up.

"Call your husband," I tell her. It's great that she's trying to keep the peace and all, but the entire world knows that Paul holds Scarlett together like sticky glue; she needs him, and so because of that, so does Lena.

"But-,"

"Scarlett." I crack the door and then turn towards her. I notice how her eyes are extra light blue just like they always are when she cries. "Call your husband."

Her shoulders drop. "Okay," She responds finally.

Once I would have hugged her tightly and whispered to her that everything was going to be okay; but I don't love Scarlett like I thought I did anymore. Instead, I actually love Lena more than I thought was possible.

I step into Lena's room and immediately my heart drops into my stomach. I never knew that I could actually feel physical pain seeing her ill or hurt in any way until it started happening, all at once.

It's like her feelings are connected to mine, and I feel what she feels, but I swear there is no way she feels as awful as I do when she looks like this. Lena is lying on the hospital bed curled up into a ball. She has an oxygen mask on her face, making so much noise I realize why Scarlett had to leave the room. As I get closer, I realize that her eyes are closed.

I tread timidly; I realize that because of the machine, she probably can't hear me, and I don't want to scare her. For this very reason, I make a purposeful sliding noise against the floor as I pull a chair up to her side.

Lena's shoulders jump a little, but then her eyes open slowly. They're glassy and red, and I can tell not this close up to her that she looks unexplainably tired; like she's winded just from breathing alone.

"Hey," I whisper to her.

She blinks at me.

I gently run my fingers through her light blonde hair and lean in to talk to her.

"You'd think after all this time they would have figured out a way to make these things less terrifying."

Her cheeks crinkle at the center.

I smile back at her, even though I can't see her lips. "You need to stop these hospital visits, Len. Are you trying to give me a heart attack or what?"

She raises her hand and lifts off her mask. "Not my fault," She says, breathless.

"Shh," I frown at her. "Put that back on."

She ignores me. "They're being so dramatic. I do not have a collapsed lung. I had an asthma attack. I'm fine."

"Lena, you haven't had an asthma attack since you were six."

"They said a new onset could come on based on newer circumstances."

"So now dance is giving you asthma attacks."

"I don't need it from you," Lena narrows her eyes at me. "I'm already going to hear it from my dad."

"Not saying a word," I smile at her and then put her oxygen mask back on myself. "I just really hate seeing you in a hospital bed."

She pulls the mask off again. "I hate being in one."

I put it back on.

She takes it off. "I hate that thing."

"What? Oxygen?" I tease her.

"I don't need it. I'm fine."

I ignore her and re-place it. "You remember those animal masks I made for you so that you weren't afraid of your machine when you were little?"

Lena's eyes soften. She reaches her hand out and grasps mine tightly.

"Hey," I lean in towards her. "You want to get out of here?"

She perks up.

I roll my eyes. "Not here. I mean, Forks. I know you hate vacations and all because you're all business all the time, but I think you could use a break."

She frowns.

"They're going to make you take time off anyways, honey," I stroke her cheek.

She hesitates for a moment before pulling her mask off completely and throwing it on the floor. "Where?"

I grin. "We haven't visited my sister since she got her new job in California. And besides, she's lonely, and she's been asking about you."

Lena examines me for a moment. "Will my parents let me?"

"Your parents love Megan, Lena."

"Fine."

"Really?"

She narrows her navy eyes at me. "Want me to fight you some more on it?"

"Not really. I was just expecting more of an argument. I've come to expect those when it comes to you."

She closes her eyes. "I need to get away from this for a little."

I tenderly pick her mask up off of the floor, wipe it off on my shirt, and then slide it overtop of her face. I kiss her forehead.

"I know you do."

Lena's POV

Embry and I walk out of the large, sliding glass doors leading to the outside of the airport, and am slapped in the face with heat and everything opposite of Forks. How is it that Washington, that is so, so close to California, manages to rain about 95% of the year, when California is practically heaven on earth.

"Holy shit," I moan and stop right in my tracks on the sidewalk. "Sunlight."

Embry laughs, pulling his own suitcase and stopping right next to me. "Nice, huh?"

"Remind me again why we live in Forks?"

"Ask your parental units. I'd take California any day of the year."

"My mom's obsessed with Forks. It's so weird."

"She likes the people," Embry answers quickly. "Our Uber's here."

We find our Uber quickly, put our luggage into the trunk, and then climb into the backseat. After giving him the address, we settle back in our seats for the nearly forty-five-minute drive that awaits us.

"Excited?" Embry asks, easily reaching over and then slipping his hand into mine.

I nod and stare down at the hard lines of his palm. His hands are rough, but they're so warm at the same time. They fit mine perfectly.

Embry squeezes my hand. "Megan's excited to see you."

I lift my eyes and then smile at him. I know that I should at least try to appear excited, but I'm miserable. In fact, the only time in which I am not nearly suicidal is when I am with Embry, and I'm still not entirely happy then. I try my best to smile genuinely at him and lean back in my seat.

"So am I. The last time I talked to her we had just started dating."

"I remember," Embry smiles back. "She was very excited. She loves you."

"It's going to be fun," I sigh. "It's so nice out, too. I think we should go to the beach. Maybe surf," I wink at him.

"Oh, yeah? But I thought you're not allowed to surf Lena Lahote," He teases.

I roll my eyes. "There's nothing wrong with being bad, as long as I don't get caught."

He laughs at me. "Now, who taught you that?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm pretty sure we had the cookie stealing act down at the age of six."

"It was a great plan."

"Good teamwork," I agree and nod my head admiringly. "You were the best distracter as I stole the cookies." I lean into his side a little bit. "Still a good distracter."

"Yeah?" Embry nudges my shoulder.

I nod my head and then turn my face back towards the window. I let out a long sigh and rest my head against the headrest, the dull ache of the pain of my dance career slowly slipping away from me settling in my chest and staying there. It's like, no matter what I do, or what Embry says, or where we go, there is ever anything that makes it completely go away.

I think a part of me realizes that this is a complete move to distract me from what is going on with dance, which is probably why my parents were so quickly okay with the whole thing, my dad especially, but I don't have it in me to fight him on it, because in reality, I know that I really do need it.

We don't talk the entire way to Megan's, but it is more of a comfortable silence than an awkward one, and once we grab our bags and walk up the front steps towards Megan's new, very charming townhouse, Megan flings the door open and comes running towards us.

"You're here!" She squeals, hugging me first before Embry.

"Wow, thanks sis," Embry says, and I laugh.

She giggles too and pulls away. "Hi brother!"

The scent of intense coconut and perfume still stays with me as she goes to hug Embry. Embry and Megan's relationship always made me a little bit jealous, and it is what made me beg my parents for a sibling as I was growing up. Honestly, Embry was kind of like an older brother with me, which is the only reason why I think I wasn't so lonely. Thank God he was around, too, because their response was always the same, "We have you and you're perfect! Why would we want to have another kid and risk it not being as great?" How do I really argue with that?

"Yay! You're finally freaking here!" She hugs me again. "I'm so excited! How do you like the new dig?"

"It's nice, Meg," Embry nods his head accordingly.

"Thanks! Once the idiot finally signed the divorce papers when he realized he wasn't getting a cent from me, I was free to use the money I was making for something other than a lawyer! Wahoo!"

We both roll our eyes. Megan has a way of joking around about things that aren't necessarily funny at all, which is one of the reasons why I really, really like her.

Megan walks us inside and then gives us a small tour of the condo, which is really rather charming. She shows us to the guest room that we will be sharing and then demands that we go to the beach, though she gives us a few minutes to get settled in and get our swimsuits on.

I fall flat on my back on the bed and then close my eyes up at the ceiling. "Whew. I'm exhausted."

Embry pats my thigh and lies down next to me. "You want to sleep instead of going to the beach?"

I shake my head. "The beach is fine."

"You okay?" His voice is neutral, but I can still sense the worry behind his tone.

"Fine," I pick myself up quickly and then go over to my bag. I quickly pick my favorite deep blue swimsuit out and toss it onto the bed. I pull my shirt overtop of my head and then quickly unclasp my bra, letting it skim against my chest and fall to the floor. I climb on top of the bed and straddle the sides of Embry's thighs.

I notice him gulp as he watches me, his eyes spending equal time between my chest and my face, not quite sure where to land. I place my hands timidly on his chest and bite my lip down at him.

Embry sighs and then finally sets his gaze on my face. "Did you lose your shirt?"

"Can't find it anywhere," I giggle.

Embry smiles and reaches up to brush the hair from the front of my shoulders to the back. He rubs my shoulders with his palms and I can't help but lean into him. Embry's hands are so warm and inviting, I could spend every second being touched by him and probably never get tired of it. It makes me feel bad for girls who date guys who aren't werewolves.

"I like when you laugh."

"You say that a lot," I sigh. "How come?"

"You're always beautiful, but it makes you look extra beautiful. You have the cutest little smile lines."

I roll my eyes. "You're such a flirt."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Coming from the girl who is on top of me without a shirt on."

"Are you not liking the view?"

"Don't be insane."

I giggle. "I guess we have to go to the beach."

"It'll be fun."

"Imagine if your sister walked in right now," I can't help but blurt.

"She would probably throw a condom at us and cheer us on."

I can feel how much I blush. "Embry!" I exclaim and shove at his chest. My chest bounces as I do and Embry's eyes set on them as they widen.

"Feel free to do that again."

"Caveman Embry," I grin and lay my chest against his. I press my lips gently into his and feel him wrap his large, hot, sexy arms around my back. "My favorite kind of Embry."

"Mmm," He rubs my arms. "I love you, Lena."

I kiss him, an answer in itself, but I like to add it too. "I love you too," I say quietly, and then he sits up with me in his lap, and reaches for my swimsuit.

"Lift your arms for me," He grins.

I roll my eyes. "You aren't dressing me," I tell him, though I lift my arms anyways.

He slips the simple swimsuit top on and pulls it down over top of my breasts. His fingers are dangerously sexy as he strokes them over the sides of my breasts. He pulls it down even farther to secure my very large bust and then his eyes squint just a little bit.

"I swear they've gotten bigger," He suddenly says.

"They have," I blush. "They grew in my off time of dance." At that I frown.

Embry kisses me deeply, and in an instant I forget all about dance in the first place or anything else in the entire world besides his lips for that matter as my fingers slide against his chest and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer.

"You guys ready to go?" I hear Megan call from down the hallway.

We both moan and pull away from each other. I begrudgingly pull myself off of him to change into my bottoms and don't even try to act like I'm not annoyed.

"Don't worry," Embry pokes at my cheek. "We'll have plenty of time for that later."

I raise my eyebrows at him in serious interest as he turns his back and goes into the bathroom to change. It has been a few weeks since the whole wolf-shifting fiasco, and though I have asked Embry about it a few times, he has never really given me a straight answer. I know that it is out of character for me not to push him for more information, but the truth is that I really don't want to know. I have no desire to realize who exactly he told and the details that a certain pack member now knows about Embry and I's sexual relationship. I'm better off not knowing. Even thinking of it makes a blush rise on my cheeks.

I look in the mirror, notice that my abs aren't as crazily defined as they were before, and frown. I turn away quickly, that sinking feeling coming again.

Embry and Megan and I arrive at what Megan refers to as "the best part of the beach," a little while later with our towels and a portable speaker in tow. We set up a few feet away from the water and then immediately go in full-force- for the life of me I can't stand girls who won't go in the water because they'll ruin their hair or because it's too cold. Embry throws me around for a while, and Megan and I dive under so many waves that we accidentally choke on water at least twice each. At one point when I am on Embry's back as he stands in the water, Megan screams to stay right where we were and ran out of the water to grab her phone. She snapped one picture, which turned into a whole entire photo shoot, much to Embry's dismay. After a bunch of annoyingly cheesy couple shots that Megan encouraged, I switch places with her to get a few shots of the siblings, and then he runs out and takes even more than Embry and I took of Megan and I.

Megan and I exit a little while later laughing and joking around about teasing Embry as he stays in the water for a little while longer for a more werewolf intensive swim.

We both practically throw ourselves onto our towels in exhaustion and let out harmonious moans at the same time. I use all of my energy to roll onto my back and then hold myself up by my elbows as I close my eyes up at the sun.

"You and Embry are so cute," Megan says after a moment. "Like, really cute."

I chuckle. "Thanks, Megan."

"I mean it. Not the stupid Instagram couple type. The genuine cute that other couples that don't even realize how adorable they are."

"You're ridiculous," I laugh.

"So how are things?" She creates a visor with her hand to shield the sun and turns towards me. "How's my brother's idiocrasy? Getting any better?"

I laugh. "Embry's not an idiot, Megan."

"He's not the smartest either."

"He's wonderful. We're wonderful. I'm… happy."

She squints her eyes at me. "You're not really, happy though, are you?"

My mouth parts. "Of course I am!" I immediately protest.

"Well sure you are with Embry, that's obvious; but that's not what I'm talking about."

I look away from her to stare out at the water now. I know what she's insinuating, and it is so Megan like: hold nothing back and be as blunt as possible, but I really thought that I would at least have a day before I had to start being questioned about this.

"Can I ask you something?" She says after a moment.

I don't answer, because I really don't want her to, though she asks it anyways.

"What is it that you like about it anyways?"

I wait a moment to touch on this. "What is it I like about what?"

"About dance, Lena," Megan rolls her eyes.

"What do you mean?" I practically scoff. "Of course I like it."

"I didn't ask if you liked it," She explains. "I asked what it is you liked about it."

I roll my eyes. "That's a stupid question," I spit, and I immediately feel guilty. This is Embry's sister after all, but I can't help that it angers me to such epic proportions. It angers me so much not because of her question, but because for the life of me, I can't think of an answer.

"Seems like a cop out," Megan clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

"It's not- Ugh!" I moan and drop my head for a moment before picking it back up. "I just do. There's no reason. There never has been a reason. I just love it."

"Never a reason," She laughs. "That seems like a lot of work for very little reward."

I roll my eyes. "Megan, it's- it's hard to explain, okay? When I dance I feel… things; things that I was never able to feel before. I could never connect with anyone or feel those normal things that all girls felt and when I danced it would just explode out of me at top speed."

"Sounds amazing," Megan grins at me. "One problem."

"And I'm guessing you're going to tell me what it is," I sigh.

She giggles. "Lena." She waits for me to look at her before she continues. "That may have been you before, but that most definitely is not you now."

I blink at her. "You don't know, Megan."

"Oh shut up," She rolls hers. "I see you with my brother. You're like a walking, bleeding heart."

"Okay fine!" I finally blurt. "Fine! Maybe I have gotten a little better at the emotion thing."

"Maybe a little," She patronizes me.

"But it's not just that," I attempt to explain. "It's being… the best. It's working so hard that no one can surpass you and it's winning. And winning and winning again. And having no competition."

It takes her quite a while to answer as she looks out at the water. In fact, it takes her so long to respond that it actually surprises me. "Sounds miserable," She says.

My eyes meet hers.

"Spending your entire life fighting for something just to be the best at something. That sounds absolutely, completely miserable."

I stare at her, her words sinking into me slowly, like melting ice, or conversely like lava flowing. Her words hit a spot that I can't quite explain. No one has ever told me that, but I guess maybe it wasn't even true until recently.

I always needed dance. I needed it to feel alive, and to express those feelings and all the emotions that I bottled up. If I didn't have it I would have gone crazy. But now, now; now I do feel. I feel more than I ever felt I could, and I feel it for Embry. Not only do I feel it, but I tell him too.

Now that it isn't about the emotional part anymore, is really all that's left a competitive drive to win?

"You'll never be good enough," Megan breaks me from my thoughts.

"Wh-what?" I stammer.

"You'll never be good enough," She repeats. "If you spend your life trying to be the best. If that's the only reason that you're doing this, than you might as well quit now, because there will always be someone better than you."

I gulp. "I don't… understand."

"I'm saying you need another reason," Megan turns towards me, her face suddenly serious. I can't look away. "You need to find another reason, or this is going to destroy you- you can't see it, but it's already started, and I don't think that's what you want."

I drop against the towel and stare up at the sky, and I stay there for so long that Megan falls asleep, though I feel like I can't sleep ever again, because if Megan is right, than what the hell am I doing?

Next chapter coming ASAP:) Hope you like it!