CHAPTER 26: Limelight (Season 3, episode 13)
Character(s): Rossi (and JJ, briefly)
A/N: Thanks to thesoundofasmile for helping clear things up a bit with the timeline of both Rossi's careers and love lives! Slight references to the episode's case here at best. As always, much thanks go out to everyone who's shown interest in and commented on this story – you're a very encouraging bunch!
"Life is a long lesson in humility." - James M. Barrie
"She didn't make it, Jill."
It chilled Rossi to look at Agent Morris as he left the hospital. He'd just told her someone she had worked with, someone she'd watched get brutally tortured alongside her when she'd been held captive, had died.
Yet she seemed to show no trace of grief, no post-traumatic stress, as she stood outside that building. Instead, she eagerly let the camera crew and reporters come running, ready for her close-up interview. Her eyes seemed to shine as she asked the reporters to give her their questions one at a time, and Rossi could already tell the words "harrowing story" were bouncing around in her head. Could practically hear her thoughts from his spot on the sidewalk. I could go on "20/20" with this! Or "Dateline"! I could write a book…
He'd thought for sure Hotch tearing into Jill as he did would've been enough to knock some sense into her. Hell, when Hotch had gone after him upon finding out about the fraud with the strands of hair, Rossi had actually briefly felt like a child being scolded by their parent in front of their friends. And he wasn't even the one who'd planted that piece of "evidence"!
He had been the one to keep it a secret, though. Rossi was crazy enough to believe Jill actually felt some genuine shame when he'd talked with her in the bar and found out about where the hair had really come from. He honestly figured she was starting to turn a corner and would own up to her mistake eventually. That she'd apologize or something.
None of that happened, however, and Rossi wound up looking like a gullible fool, while Jill wound up in serious danger. Either she hid her embarrassment really, really well, or, disturbingly, she genuinely didn't care. Rossi remembered Jill's story about her boyfriends being "chilled" by her aggressive behavior, and he was starting to find himself sympathizing with them, albeit for an entirely different reason.
He could also sympathize with Jill, though, had also sympathized with her, and that was the most frightening part of all of this. "You're not like her, Dave," Hotch had insisted over and over to him. Rossi would've been comforted by the reassuring words…had they not come from somebody who had their "old friend" blinders on, willing to brush aside the past.
Rossi could agree with Hotch that he wasn't similar to Jill now. But twenty years ago? Fifteen years ago? Jill had brought back a flood of memories that made Rossi positively cringe to think back upon.
He remembered when his first book had been published. He felt the natural initial thrill of seeing something he'd written on bookshelves, couldn't seem to hide the "cat that ate the canary" smile upon seeing people picking the book up. When they actually brought the book as well? Then it was damn hard for Rossi not to swell up with pride and want to brag to everyone within earshot.
And when he'd heard about the sales? He was over the moon! The sales weren't quite, say, Stephen King level bestselling numbers at first, but hey, they were still no slouch, either.
That was nothing to what happened when his second book came out, though.
There were lines of people in the stores that time. He began traveling the country, the world, holding readings. He found himself getting calls to appear on various TV shows, started doing the lecture circuit. People were looking to him for his expertise!
It was incredibly exciting, and Rossi full on embraced the fame (and fortune) wholeheartedly. He'd taken great advantage of his bachelor status, brought fancy homes and extravagant art, attended notable parties and rubbed elbows with other rich and famous folks, even befriending a few along the way.
And the attention. By God, did Rossi enjoy the attention. It was funny what a camera in one's face, or a giggly woman draping about whispering seductively, or a glowing review, would do to a person. He enjoyed knowing he was leaving a mark on the world, enjoyed his accomplishments. And he felt being on TV and talking about his work was helpful to aspiring writers, to law enforcement, to victims. If people were being helped and he got a few bits of praise or success along the way? Win-win for everyone!
The conversations and comments were always the most interesting part of Rossi's travels. At first, he enjoyed being able to discuss a topic he was so passionate about with people. It was a strange topic to discuss, perhaps, but, perhaps naively, Rossi simply figured people viewed the issues of crime and criminals the same way he did – that it was a tragic topic, but one worth understanding in the hopes of making this world safer. In some instances, that was the case.
"Mr. Rossi, I find the use of handwriting analysis to figure out someone's personality or state of mind absolutely fascinating. Could you please elaborate on what specifically it is you look for with that?"
"Mr. Rossi, I think it's wonderful how you were able to help bring closure to that family!"
"I thank people like you for keeping us safe! You're so brave!"
But then…then the discussions started to get weird. Salacious. And downright creepy. Rossi started to find himself desperately trying to back away from some of the people he ran into at book signings or speaking tours. Started thinking there were a few who were one act away from winding up being discussed in one of his books.
"That guy sawed someone's arm off? Cool!"
"I had a dream about the crime scene, of that victim. If you let me work with you I can show you where they're buried…"
"Tell me again, Mr. Rossi, in detail, just what exactly this guy did to these women…" (he would always start to shift about uncomfortably at that question…)
To say nothing of the high-profile cases. It was the nineties, and TV news was increasingly moving into twenty-four hour mode. The newscasters had plenty of time to fill, and true crime stories were becoming a big part of their discussions. There seemed to be a new one to talk about practically every other year - Polly Klass, OJ Simpson, JonBenet Ramsey.
And the newscasters didn't just report on the crimes, oh, no. They inserted their own thoughts and theories into the situation as well, much to Rossi's increasing chagrin. He'd be trying to explain what it was he and the FBI had been looking for in this case, or why that case hadn't been solved yet. Meanwhile, all the interviewer would want to talk about is whether or not the person or persons everyone presumed as guilty was indeed guilty. Either that or they were on their own personal rage rant, and tried to draw Rossi in. Not that Rossi didn't understand the rage in and of itself - it was true that he was a hot-headed man, after all, and it was also true that he found himself having to hold back his disgust many times when talking about certain heinous crimes.
But he did NOT like being part of a shouting match. These people's anger was often fake anyway, they just wanted to get everyone's blood up and get their ratings and promotions. They brought experts on, but they seemed to enjoy the sound of their own voices too much in the end, or seemed to think crime analysis was something any old armchair detective could do.
Though, did he even have any room to judge? He was making money off of people's pain, and putting a lot of it back into making his own lifestyle more opulent. Rossi soon started to see the sales figures for his books and wanted to scream and shudder instead of rejoice. Was he writing for the right reasons? Were they selling for the right reasons?
He'd go to write a new book, only to stare at blank pages. Some crimes were so copycat in nature he wondered why he even bothered rehashing the same story over and over again. He found himself having difficulty straddling the line between being informative and being exploitative. He'd hear stories in the news about people watching true crime shows or reading true crime books and using those to become "inspired", or to learn what evidence they needed to hide away. Was he responsible in part for that?
And sometimes, he just did not feel like sitting down at a table and writing at length about a serial killer and the deranged things they did to people. He'd wondered more than once if he should find another less taxing genre to write in – humor? Cooking? Friggin' romance? He could do a Harlequin novel, couldn't he? Those writers certainly made it seem easy enough.
The truly sad part was that Rossi's obnoxious behavior hadn't started with his writing career. He had made similar mistakes while part of the BAU the first time around. Rossi had always preferred to work alone on cases, and back then the BAU generally tended to work that way overall. And if people found him pompous or arrogant now, they hadn't even begun to scratch the surface - he was one hell of a cocky bastard in his younger days.
He relished being able to "bring down the bastards" all on his own. Enjoyed the massive praise from the superiors afterward. Female agents threw themselves at him, and he ignored the shiny circle on his ring finger.
That, along with the obsession towards his job, was a big part of why he and Carolyn had fallen out as they did. The loss of their newborn son had lingering effects for years afterward, and Rossi wasn't there for her in the aftermath, not the way a husband should've been, anyway. That should've been his wake-up call right then and there. But clearly, that call would be delayed a few years.
These thoughts had lingered in Rossi's mind from the time he left the hospital to the time he and his team were getting ready to head home. Everyone had noticed him being unusually quiet, looking reflective, and were wise enough to leave him be.
Everyone except for JJ.
"I saw Agent Morris on the news before we left," she said as they headed towards their jet.
"Yep." Rossi kept his lips in a thin line.
There was a pause before JJ continued. "She'd made a list."
"What?" Rossi stopped at that, turning to look at JJ curiously.
"Agent Morris. She'd made a list of names for the unsub."
Rossi tried to hold in a groan at that, choosing to start walking again. Jill could play a game of "match the nickname to the serial killer's born name" and win, as could many other people. Ask her or your average citizen what the victims' names were, however, and all you'd get would be blank stares.
"You never did that."
Rossi glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, raising a brow.
"I read your books. You never once did that. I always liked the way you went into detail about the victims and their lives. You made me care about what happened to them – I actually cried a few times when reading your books."
Rossi gave a half-hearted smile in response. JJ pressed on. "I think that's why I enjoy the job I have. I get to learn more about the people who need our help, and I get to tell you guys about them."
He'd stopped once again, fixing his eyes on her.
"I know we haven't known each other very long, and I admit it was a bit exciting to hear David Rossi, the big name author and FBI agent, was joining our team. But I just want to say, it's been great getting to actually know you. It's nice to find out the caring person I imagined writing those books is actually that way in real life." She smiled briefly at Rossi before turning and heading towards the plane.
He stood for a moment, staring after the young woman. She obviously hadn't heard the stories about him. Or she was being her usual kind self. One of the two.
Or she was being sincere. She wasn't an "old friend", after all, didn't have the rose-colored glasses. And the rest of the team…they were top profilers. They hadn't run away from him yet.
He'd traveled a long, hard road to redeem himself. Luckily, it seemed to work. He wasn't like Jill anymore. And Rossi would see to it he never again was.
"It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help." - Author Unknown
I don't know if these shows broadcast elsewhere in the world, but if they don't, for those who aren't familiar, "20/20" and "Dateline" are newsmagazine shows that heavily focus on true crime stories. As always, reviews/critiques/etc. are welcome!