Imma in mah chairz, writin ur chapterz!

(P.s. to latina-chicka-16 : Yes that's Czech :-) )

Chapter 25: No one's luck

"I'm Not going to sleep in hammock few hundred meters above the ground!" Rick said to Jake as they've finally arrived to the roots of their new Home tree. " Sure, stay on the floor where it is safe, but do me a favor and give a hug to the wild animals." Jake smiled at Rick.

"Oh yeah, we're just moving in, that means wild animals who lived here before will still be there" Rick thought, and then cursed. "Man Every time I've slept in hammock, I've ended on the floor. And I don't think that falling to my death would be the best start of my new day" Rick said as he put down his cargo. The na'vi were unloading their belongings next to one of the big roots. "Ballistic threat detected!" AMP'S sensory computer flickered to life, only to die after four seconds. "What was that?" Jake asked, "I thought that Pandora's magnetic field busted most of sensory equipment" he added.

"Yeah, but this one is refusing to die. I think I'll name it 'undying-sensory-comp' and will call him Sensy and he'll be my best friend." Rick said trying to imitate insanity. "What? I'm going to fall to my death today, why can't I go nuts for today?" Rick said, patting sensor's screen. "If you stop being total idiot for a moment, then maybe I could tell you that this tree is hollow, and that you might get yourself comfy in upper floor." Jake said annoyed by Rick's behavior lately, he told Jake that he had a constant headache, and that's the cause of his crankiness. But Jake only shrugged to that, not telling him that there is one of those seeds probably having wild sex with his brain right now. "Oh then I should go check it out" Rick said, finally holstering his weapon, because now he was able to do so. "If you find something or someone, don't kill it." Jake yelled at Rick who was now walking to double helix ramp. "Why should I kill anyoooo…" he didn't finish that sentence because his leg slipped and he fell off the ramp. "anyone, means you too" Jake said after he chuckled at the sight of AMP walking off the ramp and stepping into the space, it was simply hilarious, even the rest of the village who saw that laughed. "HATE!" was the first word that Rick yelled after the crash.

He firstly checked the window if there is any crack. Luckily, there wasn't any. So he tried to stand up. "To hell with this turtle!" he yelled once again "[You know, I could definitely take advantage of you right now.]" Thanty said, as he walked around downed AMP "[Sure, but first help me stand up.]" Rick said, ignoring Thanty's taunts "[But you look so vulnerable now]" Thanty said, blinking at Rick through the window, and then walked around. "[OH really?]" Rick asked, grabbing Thanty's tail. He wasn't expecting that so he jerked, thus helping AMP to roll over from it's back to it's front, thus allowing it to stand up "[ You've grabbed my tail!]" Thanty said, trying to sound offended by that action "[And you wanted to rape me.]" Rick said, but to that Thanty had a witty answer "[It is not rape if you like it.]"

"[Ok that's enough]" Rick said. "[Thanks for helping me anyway.]" he added and walked toward the double helix ramp again. "[Sure, no problem]" Thanty said as he went on his business. "This never gets old." Norm said to Jake, after watching Rick and Thanty.

Jake only nodded and helped with unpacking, Norm after a few moments joined.

Rick meanwhile walked to the first floor, it was like a cave in the tree, illuminated cave in the tree. "Live on Pandora! You'll never need a flashlight when you go to toilet!" he thought about advertising slogan. "Yeah that could work." He said silently to himself and examined every corner of the cave, except for the few na'vi that already started moving things in, there was nothing interesting. He went to the second level, the cave here reminded him lobby in hotels. The main cave was circular, but there were door-like holes in the side, leading to the small caves, "whoa one room plus bathroom." He said looking into the smaller caves, he could see that there was indeed some side door-like holes in there, but he couldn't get there because of his AMP, he thought about leaving it and investigating further, but then again he could be killed doing so "I'm level 35 human pilot, no way I'm leaving my armor here to investigate that room which could be possibly filled with Na'vi-like kobolds!" he though, he played Dungeons and Dragons™ when he was younger, it was nice way to kill time. But now he thought that it maybe wasn't just way to kill time but also education on "how to not get yourself killed in so uncool way"

"Okay, nothing here" he thought, and went to the next level, the ramp was getting narrower each time he got higher. Third level was same as the second one, only smaller in width, but each level was tall enough for Rick's amp with na'vi on his roof. That means approximately 9 meters. When Rick ascended to the fourth level he immediately knew that this will be his new home, there were only two holes, one was bigger and next to it there was smaller one, and Rick's AMP fitted to the bigger one "Welcome to your new villa." He congratulated himself, and went inside. There was lot of space, and the bigger hole was connected to the second one like garage. "If I manage to do airtight doors on these holes, and get one of B.I.B.S. Systems out of some AMP and get it there, I could spend rest of my life here. Yeah some couches, table. And the most important one, distilling apparatus!" Rick knew exactly what he wanted, how he is going to get it there was a different question. He then exited that 'room', opened his canopy. And put all his empty bottles next to the entrance. "Now everyone knows that this is my property!" he thought, and then after he got to the Amp once again, explored the rest of the floors, there were ten of them and then a long way up, without any more floors, just a ramp. Rick picked up his pace and ran toward the top. He didn't know how high he was yet but He did notice that there were several exits to branches, but they were too small for him, so he simply continued to the top.

Several minutes later, he was at the top. "Sweet merciful Eywa!" he yelled when he noticed how high he was, there was forest all around the tree, but in the distance he could make out the biggest tower of hell's gate. "Ok, don't slip! DON'T SLIP!" he told himself, when he carefully walked on the top of that monstrous tree, he then noticed something. There was smoke in the forest, about an fifty minutes of run, if he is thanator. But he was Human in AMP so it was probably hour and half of running. "But na'vi don't do campfires if they are out in the wild" he thought, going to one of the branches to see it better. It looked like a crash site of something bigger than Samson, and yet smaller than Dragoon gunship. "What could that possible be?" he thought. "There you are" Jake said after he reached the top too. Catching Rick of guard, his leg slipped and fell over the edge. "Watch out!" Jake yelled immediately. But it was too late, Rick disappeared from his view. "Holy shit" Jake whispered to himself and ran toward the branch to see what happened to his friend. "JAKE I HATE YOU!" Jake heard Rick's amplified voice. But he couldn't see him. He leaned more over the edge to see him clinging on the branch. "If I die, I'll haunt your sorry ass! "he yelled at him, Jake would've helped him up but it was AMP, and there was another Branch under him. "Jump" he said, "You really want to kill me eh?" Rick said, he couldn't look down, the cockpit wasn't made for looking down when clinging on the branch. "Arm Boosters engaged" voice came in and Rick put his Right arm higher, and started climbing back. After few minutes of climbing, he was back on the branch. "Are you alright?" Jake asked, "No, thanks to you I'm scared for life" he said, then there was silence, Rick heart stopped racing, and he got time to get over the shock. "Fourth floor" Rick suddenly said "I saw bottles. And I think it is nice place. It's yours" Jake answered the unsaid question. "I like it there, but I would like to know how to make that room airtight, you know, to be able to remove exopack there." He said, Jake knew what he meant, having exopack on your face twenty-four seven wasn't exactly pleasurable experience. "Oh by the way, I'm going out." He said, walking toward the double helix ramp. "Where to?" Jake asked, only to get a smile from Rick "If I tell you, you couldn't figure it out on your own later" he said and then ran down. "Smart ass." Jake thought, and then sat on top of their new home, not noticing the smoke in the distance.

Three days ago

"There? Are you sure?" Alexandra asked her lover, when she examined the pod.

"I'm sure, look there are comfy seats, I'm not needed for the rest of the day, you are free too, and this is the only place when we can be together without anyone disturbing us. It is the best place on whole ICA_ORSL.

"Alright, if it means I'll have you all for myself." Alexandra said, and tightly hugged František.

"Mrs. Petrovova, your behavior is unacceptable." He said in semi serious tone. "But I need your help with repairing that Emergency pod" she said in desperate voice.

"It could affect safety of the entire ICA_ORSL starship, so it is my duty to help you" he said, entering the pod with her. Both Alexandra Petrovova, and František Trumpeta were into role-playing, and they've been lovers for about eight months. It was generally frowned upon when someone from low ranking security personal, like security officer Trumpeta, had a relationship with someone from high ranking tech personal, like chief engineer Petrovova. It wasn't exactly love, they were more bedmates, than lovers, and they've enjoyed every moment they've had together.

But this time it was slightly different, because their sex was interrupted by sound of closing emergency doors. "Why did they've close?" František asked, stopping in…whatever he's been doing. Alexandra looked at the doors, and her face went pale.

But because it was middle of night, the officer responsible for everything, emergency pods included, was taking a nap. So he didn't noticed the synthetic voice saying that "Emergency drop pod no.5893 launched"

Present time

Rick was already running through the forest, he knew that there might be some survivors, he didn't knew what exactly has crashed, or blown up, but he was willing to investigate. Little did he know about Thanty who decided to follow him, while maintaining his distance to stay unnoticed.

"And If I don't find anyone, I can dance around the crash site like madman as well" Rick thought, slowly closing in to the position. But before he saw it, 'Sensy' kicked in and told him that "Distress beacon located" the radar then pinged once or twice before dying again.

"That settles it, Distress beacon must be activated by surviving members of crew."He thought and ran faster. Unfortunately for him, the crash site was in middle of forest. So it wasn't easy to get there. But they might be still alive, the smoke he saw on top of tree was dark. That meant the fires were still burning. And as he closed in, he knew he was right. The crash site, was charred, trees were broken by the sudden impact of the tear shaped pod, which was open.

"Oh hell, empty drop pod maybe they are marines? But marines wouldn't activate distress beacon" he thought, looking around and taking his weapon into his arms. He heard rustling noise from nearby bush. "Hello?" he asked, turning his attention to the bushes. "Who are you?" some male asked, his English strongly accented. It sounded like a mix between German and Russian language. "I'm PFC Rick No-one" Rick said, trying to earn trust from them, "Come out" he then added. "Will you shoot?" Female voice asked, her accent was clearly Russian. "Only if necessary" Rick answered, and then two figures in pressure suits.

"They really are humans, oh Na'vi are going to be pissed." Rick thought when the male yelled, "Look out!" and pointed behind Rick. Rick turned around, expecting some threat.

"[Hi Rick, what have you found?]" Thanty asked, looking at two humanoids whose suits didn't let out any heat, so he could only see them with his normal eyes. These two were dressed in yellowish suits and were wearing spacesuit-like helmets. And they've seemed quite surprised when Rick didn't make any actions against Thanty.

"[These are…]" Rick thought, but then he remembered that he didn't know

"Who are you people?" Rick asked while Thanty circled around the strangely dressed humans. "Is it really the best time for that?" female asked, when Thanty reached closer to smell them better "[I like them.]" Thanty said looking at Rick and smiled, showing all of his teeth. "I think it is." Rick said when Thanty tried to prod the male, who took a few steps back yelping. "Would you kindly stop prodding them, and scaring living hell out of them for a second?" Rick asked, in english. And Thanty took a step back "[You sure take fun out of everything]"

"It understands English?" Female asked, and Thanty came around and growled at her. She then hide herself behind the male "Thanty said that he is he, not it" Rick said, getting his exopack on and opening the canopy, exiting AMP and walking toward them. Thanty towered right next to Rick who leaned on Thanty's leg, and asked. "Now who are you again?" he asked. "Chief engineer on ICA_ORSL, Alexandra Petrovova" Alexandra said. The male who still watched Thanty said "Security officer František Trumpeta."

Rick's day was getting better and better, he found himself a place to live, he didn't die. And here goes his luck again when he meets some more people, one being qualified to make him airtight doors in his home.

"Well guys, welcome to Pandora!" Rick said smiling and Thanty was grinning, once again showing his teeth.

"I hope you'll enjoy your stay here, if you survive, that's it" Rick then added

Woo hoo!
Two more people to add to our cast, one is Russian, and the second one is Czech (František Trumpeta could be translated as Frank Trumpet.)

Will they survive on Pandora? What will happen next? Will Thanty have wild sex with Rick anytime soon ? Is that even physically possible? How about the drinking date with Eywa?

We'll see in next chapter!

STAY TUNED!