Author's Note: So it's been a while, but like I said I always start what I finish. So for those of you that are still sticking it though I hope you like this next chapter. Hope the next one doesn't take as long to write! –fingers crossed- Lol It will probably be a shorter wait if I keep watching Recess episodes and/or am inspired by Reviews. Well here it goes.

Chapter 26: Marriage Kills

TJ knew that technically he had won for the time being. Spinelli was back in his group, at least for lunch and half of recess, where it really mattered. Also, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone in case they thought he was going soft or crazy, he was kind of amused by how Spinelli was freaking out every time she was teased about being his wife. TJ, who was smart enough to know that the more embarrassed you acted the more people teased you, had taken it all in stride, surprising other members of the playground by answering their taunts of, 'Look it's TJ Spinelli," with nods and waves. Eventually those kids had given up trying to get to him, figuring it to be impossible, and instead focused on Spinelli the weakest link.

The first time some kid had dared to call her 'Spinelli Detweiler,' TJ's wife had promptly punched him in the gut. But that was nothing compared to what she did when one either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave kid wished, 'Ashley Detweiler' luck on her marriage. That kid had been rushed to the nurse's office when Spinelli had 'thanked' him by knocking out his two front baby teeth.

Though this kind of behavior probably would have disturbed many other boys, TJ found that he had missed her rough manner when she had been gone from them. And though normally he'd give her a speech about only hitting people who really deserved it, he could not help but give her the benefit of the doubt on this one simply because those kids had been trying to mess with her. Since they weren't innocent TJ didn't feel the need to defend them or talk to Spinelli. Besides it's was kind of cute when she-

TJ paused mid-thought his eyes widening as he shook his head to clear it of such traitorous thoughts. His cheeks tinted pink as he glanced nervously over at Spinelli, hoping against all hope that she hadn't caught him. As if Spinelli could read minds.

He let out a relieved breath of fresh air as Spinelli only then started looking at him in confused and funny manner. Of course, before he had gotten her full attention, she seemed to have been trying to practice for the military, or so TJ thought she was, since she had been looking straight in front of her for twelve entire minutes at the playground. TJ couldn't tell whether that was because she was still mad about yesterday's verdict or because after being away from the group for so long, by kid standards, she had forgotten how to act around them. Though TJ mused, it was probably more because she didn't want to, or know how to act like a wife.

Spinelli went back to ignoring his existence, as she stared down at the floor this time as if trying to communicate with the dirt on the blacktop. TJ decided that since teasing was being done, and their mandated time was almost up, he would try a bit of teasing of his own, after all he didn't mean anything right? If you don't like a girl in that way then it should be easy to joke around with her. Of course, that had to be the case.

Inching closer to Spinelli, TJ tapped her on the arm, causing the girl to jump a good three feet into the air and then look at him with wide eyes, which quickly turned into a suspicious half-glare.

"Spinelli?" TJ questioned, trying to look deep into her eyes as he spoke.

Spinelli leaned back a little trying to add some distance before furrowing her eyebrows and snapping,

"What?"

"Thank you for marrying me." TJ said, trying very hard not to snicker at Spinelli's horror stricken face.

Spinelli, for her part, moved back a few inches physically, before glaring at him darkly and then punching him in the chest. TJ, somehow surprised, began to rub at the spot that she had punched in fascination as she began yelling at him,

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT YOU CRAZY PERSON! WE WERE YOUNG AND MY BROTHER WANTED CAKE AND MY PARENTS WERE INTO IT, SO IT HAPPENED. OKAY? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY? I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN'! I AIN'T NEVER GETTIN' MARRIED WITH NOBODY SO QUIT IT!"

TJ found himself taking a step back from her, but feeling mixed emotions. On one hand he was still amused by her behavior, on the other his chest was now hurting and he was a bit annoyed that she was overacting so much to being with him. Was he that bad to hang out with? It wasn't like he smelled for recess's sake,

"Woah, relax there Spinelli. You and I both know that we aren't really married, and anyway even if we were really married, what's so bad about me, huh? We go way back to diaper years. It wouldn't be so crazy if one day we decided, hey we gotta get married some day, and just ended up together. I mean if, and I'm not saying this will happen, but if we ever do decide to become adults for some crazy reason or other, we gotta make a family. You know get married, have kids, get jobs that kind of thing. Isn't it better to get through those kind of hardships together?" TJ questioned.

Spinelli turned somewhat pale, before shaking her head, and covering up her momentary…fear? She replaced whatever that fearful seeming look was with angry eyes and shaky fists,

"ARE YOU CRAZY TEEJ?" She huffed for a second trying to reduce her anger before in a much quieter voice saying, "I don't get what's going on with you lately Detweiler. You keep commenting about how much I changed, well I'd like to point out that you might as well point that annoying finger of yours at yourself. Why is it that I can't change without a stupid court case, but you can go all mushy without any consequences? It must be great to be you." Spinelli said with a sneer, obviously feeling strongly on this.

TJ considered this for a moment before shaking his head and then shrugging,

"Honestly, I haven't really changed much. Maybe you just think I have because you've changed a bunch, but actually if I'm acting any different now it's because of you," He threw his hands up into the air, in a gesture of peace before Spinelli could deck him for such a comment, "I'm not trying to blame you for anything, I'm just letting you know that my changes, if there really are any, are because of the group fight and you leaving."

TJ watched as Spinelli seemed to be having an inner war with herself. While still finding some entertainment in her actions, as the minutes passed in this awkward situation, he found himself feeling more and more pressure to fix this situation. So, instead of allowing the conversation to continue on a serious note, even if it did end up fixing anything, TJ decided to try to lighten the mood by saying,

"So about kids, how many do you want? Because I was thinking three…"

His comedy however did not get him very far, because no sooner had he made his joke, then Spinelli had kicked him in the knee. TJ grabbed his knee, hopping on one leg due to the fact that Spinelli not only had a very good kick, but she had combat boots to back it up with.

For her own part Spinelli glared at him before saying,

"IT'S BEEN 17 MINUTES I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE DURING THIS RECESS! I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU STEAL TWO EXTRA MINUTES FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE! AND NEXT TIME YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT SPEAKING TO ME ABOUT KIDS, REMEMBER THAT I CAN AIM AND IF I SO MUCH AS SEE A STORK I'LL RIP IT'S WINGS OFF AND FEED THEM TO YOU FOR DINNER!"

TJ might later claim that it was insanity, but he couldn't help but add, even in his bruised and pained state,

"Uh, does that mean that you plan to cook for me, dear?"

Spinelli growled and pushed TJ hard, even while he was hopping on one leg, so that he fell down hard into the ground. TJ winced and let out an 'Omph!' as he fell down. Then Spinelli, possibly deciding that TJ could turn nearly anything she said back around at her, choose to remain basically silent as she headed in the complete opposite direction from where TJ was. To TJ's annoyance that meant directly over to a glaring and gloomy looking Skeens.

Spinelli barely spared her husband a second glance as she roughly tugged Skeen's wrist and the two of them made a break for more bad areas of the playground. Still, TJ couldn't frown for long considering how events were unfolding in his favor lately. He let out a wicked grin as he considered what his next move should be in order to get Spinelli permanently back into his group.

That afternoon TJ walked into his house deep in thought, still contemplating what to do next and trying to figure out if it would be better to involve the group in the next set of actions or if he should take care of the return of Spinelli on his own, since even though his friends were awesome and loyal, two of them would probably accidentally cause Spinelli to run further away. Although, apparently that was his job lately, since TJ knew that Spin was not altogether happy about their playground matrimony. Still, it was a means to an end in TJ's tactical mind.

He walked into the kitchen, prepared to get a juice box and head upstairs to finish his homework, and then have more time, space, and materials to map out a plan, when he heard his mom yelling,

"NEXT TIME I ASK YOU TO FIX A CABINET TRY DOING IT BEFORE IT COLLAPSES ON ME DUE TO RUSTY HINGES! REALLY, YOU ACT AS IF YOU'RE OVERWORKED EVERYTIME I ASK YOU TO FIX ANYTHING IN THIS HOUSE, BUT YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM OVERBURDENING ME WITH COOKING AND CLEANING AROUND THIS PLACE! FIX IT BEFORE I RETURN FROM THE SUPERMARKET, OR SO HELP ME NO ONE WILL HAVE DINNER HERE FOR A WEEK!" With that she slammed the door leaving a nervous/confused TJ and a sighing Mr. Detweiler.

TJ watched as his Dad shook his head, before getting a toolbox and bringing it back. As TJ slowly and pretend-inconspicuously pulled out a juice box, his dad began to fix the cabinet by unscrewing all of the hinges to the one that fell off. TJ watched fascinated before venturing to ask,

"Dad?"

His father continued his work as he asked,

"Hm?"

"Your marriage is basically good right?"

Mr. Detweiler's eyebrows rose for a second as he looked over at his son and nodded,

"Yeah, it's just fine TJ, why do you ask?"

TJ stood firmly on one leg as he wiggled the other around in front of him nervously,

"Just wondering if it's normal for your wife to yell at you and make you do things all of the time."

Mr. Detweiler chuckled at the observation as he took a short break to get up, walk over and clap his son on the back. He and his son had always been alike in their love of practical jokes and such, so he judged wrong in thinking that his son was just teasing him. So he did what any grown man with a penchant for pranks would do, he replied,

"Of course TJ, didn't you know that Marriage kills?"

TJ's eyes went wide as he looked up at his Dad, nearly dropping his juice as he did,

"Really?"

Mr. Detweiler nodded sagely as he chuckled a little,

"Why yes of course, every time a couple gets married, a man dies. It's only a matter of time before the wife crushes him."

TJ's jaw dropped at this confession, before he quickly stammered out,

"B-b-but then why would any guy get married if that's how it works?"

Mr. Detweiler feigned considering this before saying,

"Because it's a hell of a ride down, and because men will generally make fools and martyrs of themselves when it comes to women. It's just nature. But you don't have anything to worry about yet, your decades away from marriage I'll bet right sport?" he asked before ruffling his son's hair and getting back to work while saying, "Now I'd better get back to work before your mother get's home and decides tonight is the night. Although I wouldn't worry about it too much son, I haven't outlived my usefulness yet."

TJ forgot all about his juice box as he ended up throwing it into the air and forgetting to close the refrigerator door, as he ran out of the kitchen and headed straight up to his room making a dive for his phone and speed dialing Vince right away, before Vince had so much as said 'Hello' TJ had launched into a practically hyperventilating form of speech,

"VINCE!MY-DAD-SAID-THAT-WHEN-YOU'RE-MARRIED-YOUR-WIFE-KILLS-YOU-AT-HER-OWN-DISCRETION-BY-CRUSHING-YOU-AND-WE-BOTH-KNOW-HOW-STRONG-SPINELLI-IS-AND-I-THINK-SHE-MIGHT-HAVE-ALREADY-BEGUN-THE-PROCESS-SO-I-THINK-I'M-GOING-TO-DIE-YOUNG-DO-YOU-THINK-THERE-IS-ANY-WAY-OUT-OF-IT?" TJ asked, practically screaming as he attempted to get air circulating back into his lungs.

There was a long pause on the other end before a female voice said,

"I believe you are looking for Vincent, hold on a moment."

TJ stared at the phone anxiously as Vince actually got on the phone with a,

"Hello, Gus are you there?"

TJ shook his head as if Vince could see him before saying,

"No Vince it's me TJ! I have something to-"

"TJ? Really? That's funny my mom said that one of my friends was panicking on the phone, I could have sworn it would have been Gus…we'll anyway-"

"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS VINCE I HAVE TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED!" And so TJ launched into his previous statement, "MY-DAD-SAID-THAT-WHEN-YOU'RE-MARRIED-YOUR-WIFE-KILLS-YOU-AT-HER-OWN-DISCRETION-BY-CRUSHING-YOU-AND-WE-BOTH-KNOW-HOW-STRONG-SPINELLI-IS-AND-I-THINK-SHE-MIGHT-HAVE-ALREADY-BEGUN-THE-PROCESS-SO-I-THINK-I'M-GOING-TO-DIE-YOUNG-DO-YOU-THINK-THERE-IS-ANY-WAY-OUT-OF-IT?"

"Woah, woah, woah. Let me get this straight. Your dad said that when you're married your wife kills you at their own discretion by crushing you? And apparently we both know how strong Spinelli is, so you think that she might have already begun the process so you think you are going to do young, and you want to know if I think there is a way out of it?" Vince translated aloud and TJ shook his head emphatically.

"Yes, yes! Vin I need help, he said they crush their husbands. Spinelli has very big, combat boots! They are perfect for crushing people!"

"Hold on a second TJ." Vin asked as he signaled his dad, "Hey Dad, does marriage kill?"

Mr. LaSalle nodded as he read his newspaper at the table and waved his coffee in the air distractedly,

"That is the old saying."

Vince frowned not looking convinced, but never-the-less speaking truthfully of his own father's answer into the phone,

"Tough luck TJ my dad says that it does too, and apparently it's an old saying. But hey, you aren't really married to Spinelli, so maybe the death will be fake too." Vince said trying to cheer TJ up, as his mother smacked his father in the back of the head and commented,

"Don't tell our children horrible things like that."

Mr. LaSalle, who hadn't really been paying attention much to who he had been speaking to at the time, put down his paper and rubbed the back of his head, before clearing his throat and saying,

"You're mother is right I was out of line. Although that is a saying somewhere married life has been very good to me."

Mrs. LaSalle smiled as she went back to cooking,

"Lucky you've said so hon, now maybe I'll let you eat." She commented with a hum, winking at him mischievously as he grinned back at her. Then noticing that his son was watching, Mr. LaSalle cleared his throat, made a point about reopening his paper, and launched back into his reading. Mainly in the Sports Section.

Vince shook his head as he said,

"Did you hear that TJ? There doesn't seem to be much to worry about. If it is true, it seems to be a case by case basis."

Or so Vince tried to say but TJ was too busy rambling to hear it,

"-AND THEN SHE KNOCKED THE KIDS TWO FRONT TEETH OUT! HONESTLY I SAW THEM FLY OUT OF HIS MOUTH WITH MY OWN TWO EYES! I BET OUR MARRIAGE WILL BE THE SHORTEST ONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE ENTIRE WORLD BECAUSE AS SOON AS HER MOM FILLS HER IN ON THE RULES, SPINELLI IS GOING TO KILL ME!"

"TJ? TJ? Teej? DETWEILER SNAP OUT OF IT!" Vince said after having tried to civilly get his attention for a few minutes now.

"-AND I DON'T HONESTLY KNOW IF I CAN TAKE HER IN A FIGHT, I MEAN STRONGER MEN THEN I HAVE TRIED AND FAILED, EPICALLY-" TJ continued to ramble until Vince sighed from the other end.

"Look TJ I'm sure no one is currently trying to kill you. You know how your dad is, it's probably one of his corny dad jokes that you are just taking to seriously is all. If you want we can talk about this tomorrow in person since I don't really know if you are even hearing me or listening to me right now. Why don't you relax and we'll talk things over in the morning alright?"

"Alright." TJ echoed not having much of a choice in the matter after all.

"Kay then, see you tomorrow." Vince finished before shaking his head and hanging up.

For a few minutes TJ just sat on his bed with the phone still held in his hand, until his mom came upstairs and asked,

"TJ dear is there anything in particular you'd like for dinner?"

TJ shook his head repeated as he said,

"Anything you'd like mom, just please don't kill Dad!"

Mrs. Detweiler looked at her son suspiciously, before slowly analyzing the statement and figuring out who the culprit might be,

"Why would I want to kill your father?"

"Because you married him," TJ blurted out, "and because marriage is a killer!"

"That first part does seem like an awfully convincing reasoning right about now. But honey don't worry I won't really kill your father anytime soon," Mrs. Detweiler said as her eyes narrowed and she headed towards the kitchen, before mumbling, "though I can't say that I won't bruise him a little."

The next thing TJ heard was a thud, a clang, and then his mother's roar of,

"WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN TELLING OUR SON?"

TJ couldn't hear the rest of the conversation, but his mother's yell had been enough to send him scurrying under the covers, convinced that even if wives weren't technically supposed to, or allowed to kill their husbands, they could certainly make their lives hell for a little while either way. TJ just hoped that Spinelli would never find out about this power that wives seemed to have over their husbands, but considering it was Spinelli he was talking about, she probably would use the power without even knowing about it. TJ frowned and then sighed, he supposed that if marriage was a killer, then with a wife like Spinelli at least it would be a quick death.